Phong Nha – 17th May

So much for catching up on my sleep and enjoying a lay in, on Wednesday 17th May. I was woken up by a cockerel, who sounded like it had a sore throat, from about 4.30am. I had a pee and managed to get back to sleep, but only until 6am. The loud speakers were definitely working and the propaganda that they spout early in the morning was very loud. I still have no idea what they are saying and can only guess that the Communist party are encouraging people to get up and start their day in a positive fashion. If anything, it makes me want to do the opposite and I was already considering where we could move to so that we did not have to suffer the torture of the awful music which followed!
It stopped after 10 or so minutes and I was going back to sleep when I got another wake up. This time, in the form of Captain Caveman’s Casio watch which he had lost years ago, somewhere in the wardrobe/shelves. It was still going off every morning at 6.45am and that was going to happen every day until I found that watch and threw it over the balcony!
By 7am, all was peaceful and I drifted back off to sleep for 3 hours!!! It was already very sunny and I could feel the heat from the roof warming up the bed. It was 27.5°C in the room and the AC was starting to struggle. Where we live, is very much in the rural village part of Phong Nha and I don’t think there are any (or many) other non-vietnamese people living in the vicinity. The Glass House, where we are staying, has 5 rooms and the other 4 all have Vietnamese families living in them now.
By 2.20pm it was 28.6°C in the room and I was feeling a bit peckish. I’d almost forgotten that it was weigh day so I got my tape measure out. We don’t have any scales here, in Phong Nha, so I didn’t know my weight. Unfortunately my waist was 3cm bigger, my hips had increased by 1cm but my bust had stayed the same.
I decided I would work from Victory Road Villas (VRV) in the afternoon/evening when it was ‘cool enough’ to cycle there. Tatas had also suggested that we go for a curry tonight at Ganesh, the fairly new Indian restaurant, so I planned to finish by 8pm. For a late lunch, I ordered fried veggie spring rolls, a mango lassie and some peanuts. I drank water and the staff put the AC on straight away today, which was nice. I had a Bang soda, which is just soda water in a glass bottle, as I finished my work for the day. Tatas wasn’t able to come to meet me as she had work commitments so I stayed at The Villa’s restaurant and decided to treat myself to a glass of white wine and some pasta. The food was good and it didn’t taste spicy but then I found a chilli in the bottom. I did complain because I’m allergic to chillies and it transpired that, although the waitress had told the kitchen, the chef had forgotten.

Here’s the food and drink prices, for those of you who like a look and compare to how it would be in your local restaurant.

Mango Lassi 85,000
Peanuts 35,000
Spring rolls 85,000
Bang soda 25,000
Glass of white wine 90,000
Prawn & salami spaghetti 220,000
Total price 540,000vnd (£17.82)

Interestingly the Vietnamese Dong and the Turkish lira were similar in that 100,000 dong was about 100 lira. I noticed a glass of wine here was the same price as when I last was in Dalyan.
Back home, it was still hot and I looked in the wardrobe of clothes I’d left here to see what I could put on to watch a bit of Netflix in. I picked out an old vest top and popped it on. To my amazement, it fitted me like a dress, albeit a rather snug one but I was pleased with that. I was desperately in need of some new clothes but our shopping trip hadn’t happened. Captain Caveman had planned a trip away at the weekend so I was hopeful to go shopping then.

Phong Nha – 16th May

I was working on Tuesday 16th May and, as there was no home internet available, I had decided to spread my hours over the next 4 days and work from Victory Road Villas (VRV). Captain Caveman had been awake and on his phone for almost an hour when I got out of bed at 6.30am. The tap in the bathroom was already annoying me as I struggled to undo the tie and replace it. There was nothing we could do now though as Captain Caveman was off in a few hours to Hang Son Doong, the biggest cave in the world, for a 4 day trip. We both went to VRV for breakfast where I had my first bowl of pho ga (chicken rice noodle soup) which I love and had missed, a lot! Captain Caveman had Eggs Benedict with bacon and we both had juices/hot drinks. It’s not the cheapest breakfast in town but it’s certainly got the quality ingredients and the staff are lovely.

I worked from 9am until 12.30pm then had a 30 minute break where I had some green tea and a fruit salad with yoghurt and muesli. I was conscious that tomorrow was weigh day but we had no scales so I was still noting a food diary and taking measurements.
I got back to work and was glad of the fan in The Villas but, as there was only me there, they didn’t have the AC on. The staff did keep bringing me free filtered water though so I was doing ok. It was still cooler here than at home, where the sun heats up our top floor room pretty well and the AC struggles to cope.
When it got to 2.30pm I was hungry again, a guest at the hotel had come in to the restaurant for lunch so the receptionist put the AC on. I decided to take an hour’s break and ordered a hot tea and a Margherita pizza – The Villa’s restaurant does excellent pizzas!

By 6pm, I’d finished work and was about to have an impromptu night with Tatas, who was on her way for a margarita! I’d already got a cold beer when she arrived but we got cocktails as well. She was looking good and was pleased to see me after 9 months away. Tatas ordered a Caeser salad as she was being healthy but it was covered in sauce. I had more food with a Nem Lui, a traditional Vietnamese pork dish from Hue. The dish has pork on skewers of lemon grass which are eaten in rice paper rolls with rice noodles and veggies, herbs and salad. It tasted really good too, as we ate and chatted then ordered a bottle of red wine. It was a good night and I was looking forward to seeing more of Tatas now that she had a day job in the office and wasn’t in the cave quite so much.

My bill at VRV for the whole day, with prices in Vietnames Dong (vnd) for those of you who take an interest…

1 Pho Ga 75,000
2 Fresh orange juice 120,000
1 Eggs Benedict 165,000
1 double espresso 60,000
1 fruit salad, muesli & yoghurt 95,000
1 green tea 30,000
1 jasmine tea 30,000
1 Huda beer 35,000
1 Margherita pizza 180,000
1 Margarita cocktail 180,000
1 Nem Lui 180,000
1 bottle of red wine 400,000

Total spent 1,550,000vnd (£51.15)

I didn’t think that was bad for the poshest place in town!

Back home the room had cooled to a more acceptable 29°C with the AC on at 11.20pm. I went to sleep for the first time in a while without setting an alarm – I decided I was having a lay in tomorrow!

Saigon to Phong Nha – 15th May

I was in the reception of the Common Inn hotel at 5.20am on Monday 15th May, wishing I’d had more sleep and looking like shit! I was bobbing about with sea sickness symptoms which must have been caused by jet lag. There was no time for breakfast, not that anywhere was open, and we were checked in and sat in a busy Saigon airport at 6.15am. By 7.20am we were sat next to each other on the plane to Dong Hoi, which isn’t a given with Captain Caveman. I’d already arranged to not do any work today due to travelling and spending time with Captain Caveman before he was in the cave for 4 days. On the same flight was Captain Caveman’s friend, Phuong, who was returning to Phong Nha to do another Oxalis cave tour.

We’d arranged to meet friends in Dong Hoi for a very early lunch so we got a taxi to Buffalo Home & Chill Bar. I was already hungry so we ordered some spring rolls and a drink to keep us going, as we were early. Captain Caveman was happy to be back in his province of Quang Binh, while I was already having issues with the extreme heat. Dong Hoi is by the sea so there is some breeze, allbeit a warm one, so Phong Nha was definitely going to be more of a challenge for me.
Jack was the first to arrive, we said hellos and he and Captain Caveman grabbed a beer. It was still too early for me to have alcohol though. Stu and Max arrived shortly after and they both ordered beers and, as they were in their lunch hour, we ordered food. Captain Caveman and I shared the pork ribs while the lads had burgers or curry. I succumbed to a beer with my dinner as it only seemed right for our welcome back lunch. Trang arrived shortly after and just had a drink with us while she was back in town. It was good to see everyone and even Captain Caveman was happy I was finally here. The food was great and I was enjoying eating pork in Vietnam.

We had a car coming to pick us up at 12.30pm because Captain Caveman had to get back for his Son Doong briefing tonight. He needed to go to the Oxalis office so it was decided that I would be dropped off at Victory Road Villas (VRV). It’s one of the more up market places in town, owned by Ben and Bich, halfway between town and where Captain Caveman was living now. He was back staying at the Glass House, our original place, because he was mostly in the jungle so didn’t need to be paying for anywhere fancy with a pool. Captain Caveman took my suitcase home while I had a light refreshment then he came back to join me. We had some drinks and even had a dip in the pool before it was time for Captain Caveman to go to work. I spent the afternoon at VRV, drinking beer and having a loll about on a sun bed – I may have fell asleep on one of the very comfy loungers.

By 6.30pm I was hungry so decided to sample dinner at The Villa’s restaurant. The menu was very similar to the last time I’d been here, 9 months ago, with just a few changes. I had the vegetarian fresh spring rolls for a starter which are 80,000vnd (£2.64) and very healthy. I left the soy sauce dip as I find it a bit too strong. For main, I chose the chicken and bacon sandwich (no mayo) forgetting it came with chips. At 180,000vnd (£5.94) it’s good value and a generous portion. I was still eating it when Captain Caveman returned from his briefing so he had another beer. Beers for 330ml were 35,000vnd (£1.16) which are the most expensive in town but do come with an iced glass, ice and are cold.
Back home, via a short motorbike ride on Trigger, I was shocked to see the Glass House was lacking a bit of TLC, somewhat. There was no internet and the bathroom tap had broken so Captain Caveman had tied it up with string to turn it off. I was going to be roughing it a bit these next few days but I didn’t mind too much, at least I could catch up on some much needed sleep while Captain Caveman was away.

Singapore to Saigon 14th May

I landed at 5.45am in Singapore on Sunday 14th May, 6 hours ahead of Greece and Turkey (8 hours ahead of the UK). Even though I’d had some sleep, it had been a bit uncomfy and I was not looking forward to my lay over in Singapore. I would ordinarily have hammered the lounge but the thought of drinking any alcohol made me feel sick. My next flight wasn’t until 1.25pm which meant I had about 7 hours to kill. I had a little rest in a quiet spot but wasn’t there long as a load of people came and sat next to me, making a noise. The amount of people who listen to their phone on high volume instead of having earphones in makes me so angry! I do not want to listen to it!
I decided that I would go to a lounge in Changi airport to pass the time on and for a bit of peace. I didn’t drink any alcohol though, which was a first for me in an airport lounge. I just did 3 hours in there and ate some nice food before finding a reclined seat for a nap. I set my alarm and was about to drift off when the guy next to me decided he would have a very loud conversation on his phone, in the quiet area!
At the gate for my flight from Singapore to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City), the staff insisted that I put my hand luggage in the hold because the plane was full. This was annoying as I didn’t want to be waiting for luggage at the other end. I decided to take out all my essentials, including my laptop, in case the luggage went missing – I didn’t take any spare clothes out though.
My third flight was uneventful and took less than 2 hours, landing in Saigon at 2pm. It took me 2 hours to get through the very lengthy queues at immigration. I had a little wobble when the official asked where my visa was, I told him I was entering on the 15 day visa exemption, he said “no” and pointed to the visa area, expecting me to go to buy a visa. I knew this was not the case and stood my ground, maybe he was confused or maybe they were trying to get people to spend money on visas they didn’t need.
Anyway, after a few minutes, he let me through but by then the carousel for our luggage had been stopped and my case was not there. Great!

At around 4pm on Sunday 14th May, I found a baggage handler, in Saigon International airport, and tried to ask him where the cases from my Singapore flight were. He said ‘finished’, which was useful! The queue for the lost luggage was rather large so I grabbed a man with a lanyard who looked official, to explain my predicament. He asked if I had checked at the other end of the airport, I hadn’t (obviously) so off I toddled. I found my case sat in a corner, by itself, 10 carousels further along. Brilliant, I would have fresh clothes to wear now!
As instructed by Captain Caveman previously, I went to the domestic terminal to get the taxi and managed to be more assertive than I was last time at this airport. He tried to tell me to get in a different taxi and I said no and chose the one I would get, for myself. It was extremely hot in Saigon and very humid, I was still dressed in jeggings and trainers! The taxi cost less than 250,000vnd and took less than half an hour to get to one of my favourite hotels, The Common Inn, where Captain Caveman was staying. When I arrived he was already there and had been on a mammouth cycle ride with a brewery stop off! I had the luxury of a hot shower (I’d not had one since Friday afternoon) and popped on a dress as we were in a rush to go out. We went to Mad Wine in Thao Dien and Captain Caveman said how happy he was that I was finally here, little did he know I nearly wasn’t! Our friend Andrea arrived, who’d also been on the cycle ride and she’d been a little tired afterwards so wasn’t joining us for dinner. Valerie arrived next for just a drink and we all had a wine or two to celebrate being back in Vietnam. It was really nice to see Andrea and Valerie and I was surprised that Captain Caveman had thought to organise a reunion rather than have a quiet night in – he was even happy to take photos and I knew Steve’s sunglasses would come in handy! There’s always a method in Captain Caveman’s madness though; our flight tomorrow had been changed! It had been brought forward to 8.30am, we needed to be at the airport by 7.30am so it would be an early get up and the promised shopping trip was no more. To further smooth the disappointment of us not being in Saigon very long and Captain Caveman having to be back at work tomorrow at 6pm, he had chose somewhere nice to dine tonight.
To be honest, I could quite easily have gone straight to bed but Captain Caveman was going to be away for the first 4 days of me being in Phong Nha. We went to a place called Arto House in Thao Dien, District 2, which had been recommended by another of Captain Caveman’s cycling mates. We shared a burrata cheese starter which was amazing, then I had duck and Captain Caveman had pasta with lots of mushrooms. The food and the bottle of red wine we shared was so good and it was a great first meal in Vietnam. Our bill came to 1,567,500vnd (£51.73) including the bottle of nice wine. I noticed that Captain Caveman must no longer be suffering with his gout, like he was in December, because mushrooms and red wine are usually triggers for it.
I hardly remember getting back to the Common Inn as I was starting to feel a bit of jet lag. Captain Caveman ordered the car to go to the airport for 5am the next day and we set out alarms. Tonight I would probably dream about sleep!

Lardos to Singapore – 13th May

Saturday 13th May was the day I would start my journey to be reunited with Captain Caveman, in Vietnam. We’d been counting down to this day ever since we booked the flight and we were both excited to see each other again. If this was a film, the next couple of days would more than likely have been very different – but I bet those that know me guessed that it wouldn’t quite work out as planned.
I was still pretty drunk when Michelle banged on my door and shouted that we were late. Neither mine nor Steve’s alarms had gone off when it was due but, luckily, Michelle had woken up. We were all in a bit of a panic as we rushed to get clothes on and get in the car. I don’t remember exactly what the time was but I think it was 5.15am when we set off. It could’ve been later, it didn’t really matter, Michelle was sure we would miss the flight from Rhodes to Athens. While Michelle drove, I checked when my check-in closed and Steve searched for the next flight. Shit, this was not good!! I was still clutching at straws that we would make it – there was no way I could miss my flights from Athens to Saigon via Singapore. My flight to Athens was at 6.30am which we would get to the airport in time for but the check-in opened at 5.30am, boarding was due to start at 5.50am. Steve had booked a ticket with luggage but check-in with hold luggage closed at 5.50am which I would definitely not make. There was a slim chance we would make the hand luggage only, last check-in at 6am – but it was beginning to look very unlikely. My flight from Athens to Singapore was at 1.45pm with a check-in from 10.45am.
We were making as much good progress as we could, the roads were empty but it was still looking like we may get there after the check-in counter had closed. All of a sudden, Michelle stopped the car and got out to be sick – something hadn’t agreed with her, maybe the takeaway. This made me feel rather queasy too and Steve had found another flight. At this point I didn’t care about the price I just needed to get to Athens. The other flight from Rhodes to Athens would just get me there on time, if I was able to change to that one in the case of missing my booked one.
We got to the airport and I didn’t even say bye to Michelle as Steve and I hurried to the desk. The place was empty and the man at the counter had already closed the check-in. I was gutted, super thirsty and a bit tearful.

Even though I had got there before the flight departure time, I had just missed the check-in closing and could not get on the 6.30am flight from Diagoras airport to Athens. There was another one with the same airline later that day, however, that would not give me enough time to check-in for my Scoot flight to Singapore.
Luckily, Steve was great in a crisis; there was a flight with another airline at 8.30am and, while I had gone off to be sick in the toilets (totally blaming last night’s food) he had booked it for me. My credit card wanted to send me an OTP code to my non-working phone so I couldn’t book it but luckily Steve had his card with him and booked it for me – it was not expensive considering the situation (£70) and included luggage. I said goodbye and thanked Steve for his help and a great week with him and Michelle. My first thing to do, as ironically I was too early to check-in for the next flight, was buy a bottle of water. I got 800ml for 1.3 Euro which is a lot cheaper than Dalaman airport. I felt like death and set 2 alarms so that I didn’t fall asleep and miss the check-in for this flight.
A nice lady from the airline came to tell me she was opening the check-in desk and I could go through. I checked in my wheelie case, as I may as well, and had just my lap top with me.
It took all my willpower not to use the sick bag on the flight and I was lucky to have an aisle seat. I made it to Athens looking like I’d been dug up and feeling so hungover that it was ridiculous. I could imagine my Mom saying ‘you are 50, you know’ to tell me off for being so stupid. Incidentally, it was the first flight I’d ever missed in my life!
At Athens airport, I just had enough time to check in for my flights to Vietnam but the Scoot queues were massively long. A man at the front was telling people to form a separate queue for hand luggage only so I got in that and hoped they didn’t weigh my 2 bags. While waiting in the queue, I found that I still had Steve’s sunglasses in my bag from last night. Once through security, I had enough time to change some Turkish Lira in to Euros and it’s a good job I did. There was no time for a lounge but that didn’t bother me.
The Scoot flight to Singapore left on time at 1.45pm, it was fairly full and I had a chatty Aussie fella next to me. I was not so chatty and fell asleep before we’d taken off.
When I woke up, I was hungry (which was a good sign) and the 2 seats in front of me were empty. As it was an 11 hour flight and I really needed to get some rest before meeting Captain Caveman, I moved seats for the extra space next to me. Scoot is a budget airline so you have to buy everything, including a drink of water. Due to the turbulence, card machines were not working and quite a few people didn’t have the correct currency of Euros or Singaporean Dollars. I was so lucky to have the Euros plus some Singaporean Dollars from the way here and I splashed out.
My first meal of the day was a teriyaki chicken and 2 bottles of water for 20SGD (£12 approx), not the perfect choice but they had ran out of my first two choices.
The seats on Scoot aren’t too comfy but my former neighbour said thanks to me for moving as he was now enjoying the extra room next to him too, I had another nap as there’s no entertainment system either.
By 7pm, I was hungry again and I had a Dahl curry with basmati rice, a bottle of water and an orange juice at a cost of 19SGD (£11).
I went back to sleep as we still had ages until we were due to land in Singapore at 5.45am. Singapore is 5 hours ahead of Greece and Turkey, 7 hours ahead of the UK. It had been a long and stressful day!!

Lardos & Faliraki – 12th May

Although I didn’t start work as early as Steve and Michelle, I did decide to put a short shift in on the morning of Friday 12th May. I’d only been working about an hour when Michelle put her chef skills to use with a fantastic breakfast (the diet was going well)! Xena, the dog, was also a fan of sausage so she was glad when she got some leftovers. It was a sunny day and most of the cats had to seek shade, except for one who was having a sunbath. I was struggling to remember all their names but that one looked like Dave! We all got back to work after talk of what we might do tonight. Obviously the sensible approach was to have a quiet evening and an early night, as I needed to be at the airport at stupid o’clock tomorrow morning.
In the afternoon we had a bit of a change of scenery with a couple of Milokleftis ciders at Yamas bar. A little kid went past and dropped his ice-cream so Steve very kindly bought him another one. We all had one too, from the bakery in Lardos square, where I had fruits of the forest flavour. I’m not usually an ice-cream fan but this place has lovely ice-cream. There are lots of flavours to choose from too and the people who work there are friendly.
In the afternoon, while I packed for Vietnam, Steve and Michelle went back to work.

There was live music at Ambience bar so we were heading there to celebrate the end of the holiday. Taxis in Rhodes are pricey for example I think the cost of a taxi from Lardos to the airport is about €70 – €80. We called in to a few bars along the way and it was certainly a blast from the past for me. I’d not been to Faliraki for a long, long time and it had changed quite a bit. A few of the old favourites were still there and we enjoyed a mini bar crawl on the way.

When we got to Ambience, we were a bit early and the live music hadn’t started yet but we chatted to the lovely owners and discovered they had, what I now refer to as, a Danger Wheel. On the bar, was a strategically placed spinning wheel with lots of names of drinks on it. Customers could pay to have a spin and get a random/surprise drink. It had some of our favourites on there, as well as some which were not so pleasant. It was €2 (£1.71) per spin and there was all sorts of drinks from tequila or sambuca shots to prosecco or nothing at all. Our first shot was Tequila Rosé, which I absolutely love and hadn’t had for ages. The owners joined us too and we had a good laugh before the musicians started. I hate sambuca but Steve hates Fernet Branca so we did swaps when that came up on the Danger Wheel. At some point I thought it was a good idea to order a bottle of prosecco which would turn out to be somewhat foolish.

The Danger Wheel in action – we loved it!

The saxophonist was great and I really enjoyed Ambience bar. Hours of fun ensued and we kind of forgot that I had a flight at 6.30am tomorrow, maybe we should have brought my luggage with me and gone straight to the airport. On the way home, we resisted the late bars and I took photos of a couple as well as a tattoo shop that was still open! We decided to go for a pizza/kebab and I don’t even really remember what we had but it seemed to go down well. I do remember being in the takeaway place at 12.30am, where they had a horse’s head statue on the wall. It had been a great night out and a rather lively end to a wonderful holiday in Rhodes. We even decided that I’d visit again on my way back from Vietnam!
It was after 1am when we got home so, to make doubly sure we got up in time, both Steve and I set our alarms for 4.15am and 4.30am. Check-in opened at 5.30am, the flight was at 6.30am to Athens and I was packed and ready.

Lardos – 11th May

I was up for doing more work on Thursday 11th May, even though I don’t usually work on Thursdays. I was enjoying the flexibility of being able to work whatever hours or days suited too. In the morning I transferred some money to Rebecca, from Captain Boris boat trips, for the bottles of wine I’d bought. They were already delivered and my parents had got the other half of the stash, with Ma keeping a close eye on Pa not to drink it all too quickly. I knew that prices were set to continue to rise in Turkey, especially as the election date loomed, so I was happy to splash out now at what would probably be a cheaper price.
For lunch I had fruit with greek yoghurt and honey because tonight Michelle had a girls night planned in Lardos, with dinner at one of my favourite restaurants.
I worked in the afternoon, just for 4 hours, then I got ready for a meal at Valentina’s. I’d previously been with Captain Caveman and I remembered that the carafes of wine were particularly good value so I was looking forward to my second visit. Joining Michelle and I, were her friends Katy and Tracy.
Tracy arrived after we had ordered so she didn’t eat but the rest of us shared some tasty cheese balls for starters. I just had to have pork (again) and went for the massive pork chop for main, Michelle had a steak and Katy had pasta. It was all delicious and the carafes of red wine went down well. The owner gave us a shared dessert of baklava and ice-cream as a treat, which was also delicious. The bill came to €30 each (£25.68) which I didn’t think was bad, for what we had – my pork took over an hour to eat because it was so big.
After saying bye to Katy and Tracy, Michelle and I had a cheeky Milokleftis cider in Yamas bar on the way home. It had been a great night and I was sad that tomorrow was my last day (and night) in Rhodes. Captain Caveman was excited that I would be in Vietnam in a couple of days and had arranged to meet me in Saigon with the promise of a shopping trip for new clothes.

Lardos – 10th May

When I got up on Wednesday 10th May I did my weekly measurements. My bust and waist had remained the same but my hips had increased by 3cm. This was not surprising, given the amount of calories I’d had this week. When I stepped on the scales, albeit they weren’t Carol’s scales, I was 0.5kg heavier than last week. I had tea and toast for breakfast then pottered about while Steve and Michelle were working. For lunch Michelle made us a nice mushroom, ham and pesto pasta which none of the pets got to eat any of. Strangely, I was starting to miss doing a bit of work so I decided to get the laptop out and do a few hours. Pixie decided to keep me company but she soon fell asleep when she didn’t get much attention.
That night, after one of the finest spaghetti bologneses that I’ve had the pleasure to eat, (another of Michelle’s talents was definitely her cooking) we were off out. Steve and Michelle had arranged for us to watch the football and have some drinks at a lovely bar in Lardos, called Yamas. We met up with their friends who were great fun and we all had a really good laugh. The Milokleftis ciders were getting a bit moreish and I could definitely get used to those.
I didn’t actually watch any football as we were all so busy joking, chatting and laughing. After several ciders, we all went to another bar, close by, called Cuckoo. They were also going to be opening a cocktail bar across the road very soon and we discussed a potential night there on my return from Vietnam. The night ended up with (some of) us playing air guitar on a walking stick and making our own dancefloor. I do love a dance so I needed no encouragement as some fantastic rock songs kept being played. It was gone midnight when we got back to Steve and Michelle’s. Steve went to bed but Michelle and I had a cuppa and a piece of Kate’s lemon drizzle while having a good natter.

Video and photo credit – Steve

Lardos & Lindos – 9th May

I had another day off work on Tuesday 9th May while Steve and Michelle had started their working day early. I had Yorkshire tea (yes, I had taken some with me) and toast for breakfast. I managed 2 minutes of squats but only 1 minute of planking. For lunch we all had banana, strawberries, greek yoghurt and honey which tasted lovely. While Steve went over to Louise’s to continue with some painting in the afternoon, Michelle had a bit of excitement planned for the two of us. We went to Lindos where we saw British holiday makers walking round in bikinis then we had a couple of drinks in a rooftop bar. It was good to spend time in Lindos just catching up and for me to sample the local beer. When I’d been before, my leg was still not fully functioning so Captain Caveman and I had got a taxi back out of Lindos. This time, my leg was pretty good as we walked up Cardiac Hill, passing a strawberry seller and walking to the top without being out of breath! We sat at the Ice bar and had another light refreshment while waiting on our takeaway food order next door. I was about to have my first pork gyros this year and was looking forward to it.
While we were living it up in Lindos, Ma & Pa were on a boat trip in Dalyan with Mark, Kate, Rob, Tracy, Pamela, Daisy and Tom which I hoped they were enjoying. Once we got to Louise’s with the takeaway it was quickly devoured and I loved my pork gyros.
Back at Steve and Michelle’s, the cats were fed, we watched Gypsy on TV and had some of Kate’s lemon drizzle cake which I’d brought with me from Dalyan.
I was aware that tomorrow would usually be Fat Club day and I wouldn’t be there to get weighed, instead I would use Steve and Michelle’s scales for my weigh-in. Having consumed 459 syns this week, of which 268 were alcohol, I knew I had put weight on.

Lardos – 8th May

Having not managed to do my plank or squat challenge yesterday I made the effort when I got up on Monday 8th May. I completed 50 seconds of squats but only 60 seconds plank then Carol, from Fat Club, reminded me that it should’ve been 60 seconds of squats so I did it again. I had an impromptu day off, had slept really well and had a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast. Xena, Steve and Michelle’s dog, was super excited to see me – Trixie, the cat, less so. My hosts were already in the office and were working hard while I unpacked and pottered about.
At 12.30pm we all went to Yamas Cafe in Lardos, which was a short walk from the house. Steve and Michelle had coffees while I had a hot chocolate (the diet was not going too well). We all had a fresh orange juice after that and then it was time to get back for lunch and back to work for some. We had left over pizza with salad and it was pretty tasty – I think the €45 was money well spent on all that pizza.
In the afternoon I met one of the other cats, Pixie, she was friendly but a little shy. There were quite a few outdoor cats which were going to take a while to learn the names of.
While Michelle whipped up one of my favourite dinners, I offered to go to the shop to buy some cheese and wine. We were having pork products, cheese and wine for dinner and I was so excited. Xena and Trixi had also heard about it and were hoping there would be some sharing going on. At the shop, I found the cheese easy to pick out and it wasn’t too expensive (compared to Turkey). The wine was very reasonably priced but I had no clue which one to pick as most only had the tasting notes written in Greek. I opted for one that had it also translated to English, sounded nice and was a Merlot.
For those of you who like to know what’s in my shopping basket and how much it cost for cheese and wine in Rhodes, look no further:

Lardos Supermarket:
330g Edam cheese 2.15
100g Blue cheese 2.58
200g Cheddar cheese 4.72
1 bottle Merlot 8.87
Total spent 18.32 Euros (£15.67)

The food was absolutely superb and I had to remind myself not to be too greedy with the pork products as I snaffled my way through the different ones! Even the selection of crackers was fantastic. Unfortunately, the wine I had bought was pretty disgusting – in fact it’s unusual for me not to be able to drink iffy wine but this was pretty rank. None of us could drink it so Michelle and I went back to the shop for another bottle of something better. This time she was able to help me pick out one of the Greek ones which she recognised as being good. It was the one I had picked up first but put back because I couldn’t read the Greek label. The new bottle was €10.45 (£8.94) and was much better! It was a lovely night and even Xena and Trixi got a little cheese treat before bed time.

Dalyan to Lardos – 7th May

I woke up at 5.30am on Sunday 7th May instantly regretting not drinking less last night and not going to bed earlier. I made sure the apartment was secure, a bit tidier and the power turned off. My mom didn’t come to get the beers and stuff I left her because of the rain yesterday so she would pop round in the week to sort that out.
Fikri was on time and we left at 6.30am for the taxi drive to Fethiye port. My ferry was at 8.30am but I had to be there at 7.30am to pick up my ticket and pay the nice lady which had been arranged by Steve and Michelle.
The ferry ride was a little tough going as I’d taken no seasickness pills and I was pretty hungover. The weather was a bit windy so it was choppy but nowhere near as bad as the time I went to Dublin for Little Jo’s birthday.
I arrived at the ferry port in Rhodes and was the first off and through. I waited outside at the bus stop where Michelle and her friend, Louise, came to pick me up.

It was just under 50km to where my friends-boss-work colleagues, Steve and Michelle, live, in Lardos. I’d been before with Captain Caveman and it’s a lovely small village which I was looking forward to seeing more of. Initially, the plan was for me to be house and pet sitting for Steve and Michelle for the next 5 days while they had a holiday. Sadly, they had cancelled their holiday at short notice because Steve’s brother had died. Instead, they had insisted that I still come over for a holiday and to catch up with work stuff before my, already arranged, flights to Vietnam from Athens. We stopped for the girls to get an iced coffee on the way, then to drop my bag off at Steve and Michelle’s house, before heading over to Louise’s house. I wasn’t quite expecting that the first time I’d meet Steve as my new boss that he’d be on his knees, sweating and holding a paint brush but it definitely set the tone for what was about to be a fantastic week in Rhodes!
I got introduced to Milokleftis, a lovely Greek cider, and, while Steve painted Louise’s patio floor and Louise sorted out an urgent work emergency, Michelle and I got through a few ciders. After some work had been done and some Milokleftis had been necked, Steve went for some takeaway pizzas. He was a bit disgruntled that they cost €45 (£38.52) for 2 big ones and a garlic bread but they did taste good!
That night, I slept so well in the spare bed which was super comfy. I thought I’d be working tomorrow but Steve had already said I could take the day off – what a boss!

Dalyan – 6th May

My last full day in Dalyan had arrived on Saturday 6th May and I was a little bit torn about how I felt. It was 139 days (or 4 months and 18 days) since I last saw Captain Caveman so, obviously, I was looking forward to seeing him again. In that time, he’d been working a lot and we’d hardly had chance to chat. I’d spoke to my parents and friend, Vanessa, more times in fact! I had also been in Dalyan for 233 days (7 months and 3 weeks), since I returned with Captain Caveman from our trip to Europe last year. This was the longest I’d been in Dalyan in one stretch without at least going somewhere else for a short break and I was going to miss it. Of course I’d planned to have a relaxed and easy going day because my taxi with Fikri was booked for 6.30am tomorrow. To say I’m quite an organised person though, things still didn’t go as smoothly as they could have. It had temporarily slipped my mind that it was Coronation Day and that lots of holiday makers and expats were going to be celebrating it, here in Turkey. Obviously, for those of you who know me well, it was not something I wanted to be part of and I had declined the various invites. It was an unusual breakfast, to eat up leftovers, of falafel, cheese balls, gherkins and a bit of tahini. I did my packing, emptied the fridge and freezer then took some stuff to Jamie’s to store for me. I also gave him some leek and pumpkin soup, chicken livers for the dog shelter and various items I knew my parents wouldn’t have. The rest I packaged up for my parents who would call to get them later, including half a crate of beer which Captain Caveman had left in December. On my way back from Jamie’s, I went to the bank to change some lira to Euros and forgot it was closed. Ordinarily, I could have gone to the jewellers or a bar but I was determined not to have to be dragged in to a Charlie-crowning celebration unnecessarily. I drew out lira at the ATM and hoped I’d be able to use that or get it changed in Greece. I then went to the supermarket to pick up the essentials for Steve and Michelle. At the pharmacy I caused a bit of a to-do because there was only one strawberry lube left and I asked if they had any more. All the staff got involved, alternatives were offered and a queue had built up by the time I paid the 156 lira (£6.37) for the one I’d had in my hand. No doubt I would be the talk of the town (again)! My next stop was the supermarket and probably my most unusual shopping basket contents in Dalyan, I’m sure – here’s what I bought:

Migros Supermarket
1 Twix 9.95
Mints 12.72
2 small Nescafe Gold 119.80
2 big Nescafe Gold 199.80
2 strawberry lube 263.80
Total spent 606.07 lira (£24.74)

Back home, I finished my packing then had the rest of the courgette tortilla for lunch and the Twix!
At 4pm I got a message from Captain Caveman. He was out of the cave, sat drinking with the porter team by the river, topless, as it was very hot. He had barbecued crickets for his dinner with lots of beer. I was not envious, my parents and I had arranged to go for a nice meal at Firats for my last civilised night in Dalyan. We said we’d meet at 6pm and just hoped the rain would stop so we could go out.

The rain continued and threw a bit of a spanner in the works for us that evening. I’d had a message from Kate to come join the party with the pool gang at Rehab bar as she was having to put up with Coronation frivolities. I really didn’t want to so I said no, I also wasn’t feeling in the mood to say goodbye to all my friends in one place. I knew I’d get upset, that I would miss them and I didn’t want to be on a downer for my last night out with my parents later.
Unfortunately, the rain meant that we couldn’t go to Firats as planned as it’s mainly outdoor seating. They have shelter overhead but those covered tables were taken when we walked past. Instead we decided to have a drink in Bistro Blue and then we could decide where to eat. Ma had a bottle of Efes Malt, Dad and I had pints of draft Efes. Drinks were reasonably priced at 80 lira (£3.27) and were cheaper than a friend had been talking about yesterday. We got chatting with Annie, Selahı, Suha and Ömer at Bistro Blue and, despite it being a busy Saturday night, we were able to get a lovely table for dinner. We decided not to go for starters as the main course portions are usually plenty and this time I couldn’t be taking half home to put in the freezer! Dad chose the liver and onions, Mom went for the fajitas and I tried something new – chicken with pepper sauce. We got complimentary bread and nibbles and all ordered a glass of wine. As prices are increasing in Turkey I did keep a note but they still seemed good value; a glass of wine was 80 lira (£3.27). Liver and onions 500 lira (£20.40), fajitas 400 lira (£16.33) and chicken 450 lira (£18.37) were on the pricey side for Dalyan but I have to say it was absolutely delicious and we all enjoyed every mouthful. The service was impeccable too, with a free çay or apple tea afterwards.

What should have happened then is probably obvious to any of you reading this now, however, it was only 9.30pm! We decided to go to Sofra bar and I messaged Jamie to say we were on our way there for our last drink and to say goodbye.
More beers were had and Jamie and I were really going to miss each other a lot. We were sad but also happy to know that I’d be back in just 7 weeks. Gone were the days where the authorities of Vietnam allowed me a 90 day visa so I was planning on entering on the 15 day visa exemption. Of course it was after 1am when my parents and I left Sofra bar and we said our goodbyes. I’d had an amazing, but too short, time with Ma & Pa where we’d already started to plan some more exciting things for when my sister and family came to Dalyan in July!
I tidied up the apartment and set my alarm for 5.30am. Why do I never remember that 4 hours sleep and too much alcohol the night before a journey is never a good idea!?

Dalyan – 5th May

By this time of year Dalyan is usually pretty warm and sunny so it was disappointing that my parents weren’t getting good weather. However, Friday 5th May was a very good day. A while ago I had arranged for 11 of us to go on Captain Boris’ cheese and wine boat trip today. I’d been in touch (a lot) with Rebecca and Boris because we were in danger of having to postpone due to rain/storms. As well as myself, there were a few people who could only do this date so it was all or nothing and I’d took a risk by telling Rebecca to buy all the food. If we couldn’t go on the boat we’d find somewhere to have the cheese and wine, I’m sure.
On account of me having a Sunday dinner for breakfast, I didn’t have a second one when I got up, just a cup of Yorkshire tea and lots of water. I got a message from my boss to say he was paying for my ferry to Rhodes on Sunday and he would transfer the money – this was unexpected and very much appreciated. I booked Fikri and his taxi to take me to the Fethiye ferry port at 6.30am on Sunday which meant tonight had better be my last late night!
I had a nice treat booked in at 11am for some reflexology at BC Spa. My friends from back in England (Claire, Clare and Kelly) wanted to treat me (a belated birthday treat) and had arranged for me to book in for a treatment. It was one of the luxuries I’d given up to save money so I was super excited to be able to go. When I arrived I was shown to the massage room and my Swedish masseuse was excellent – I almost fell asleep. Although prices had gone up considerably I could see no difference in the quality of the massage or the room I had it done in so I was pleased. Back home, I made a cup of herbal tea and put my feet up, as advised, while making a packing and to do list for my forthcoming trip.
The Captain Boris boat trip was going ahead regardless of weather, and we were taking clothes for all eventualities. I had everything from swimmers to one of my favourite bobble hats and was keeping everything crossed it would turn out ok.

The Captain Boris boat trips are of the best I’ve been on so I was really looking forward to the cheese and wine themed one. We met at the boat outside the Tezcan hotel at 1.30pm, on-board were the following people;
Jo (me), Anne (my Mom), Stuart (my Dad), Ann, Jacqueline, Lee, Linda, Trish, Steve, Jo and Steve. So with 2 Jo’s, 2 Steve’s and 2 Ann/e’s it was going to be fun!
The boat cost £400 in total for the private trip, which included all the food but not the booze. When we set off it wasn’t raining but it was a bit cold however Rebecca kept telling us to keep the faith that it would be ok. Captain Boris had rejigged the route so that we would go down river to Little Dalyan first and then over to Çandır lake so that we could make the best of the weather. Only my mom had brought the suncream as we all thought it wouldn’t be necessary but by the time we were sipping our first Moldovan wine, the sun had come out. A few of us moved to the front of the boat and Mom shared the sun cream around the fairer skinned or bald guests as it became quite nice.

When the platters of cheese, meats, fruits, nuts, olives, crackers, dips, conserves and breads came out, it was certainly luxuriously impressive! It’s hard to believe that such wonderful presentation can be achieved in a small boat kitchen too. The sun stayed out but it wasn’t hot enough for me to swim. Lee did get in the sea for a little paddle and we all were just glad the storms had passed. At one point it started to rain but Boris was on it with his human windscreen wiper and a quick diversion to avoid the rain clouds. The boat trip was amazing and definitely one of the best ones I’ve been on in Dalyan – it’s certainly worth the money for the quality and attention to detail. Rebecca and Boris definitely know how to look after their guests and make sure everyone is looked after. I was also pleased to see the prices of wine were on a par, or cheaper, than some of the bars I drink in. The wine was so good, in fact, that my parents and I decided to order a box each of the white, red and rosé to see us through the summer.
Following the fantastic trip, most of us attempted to go to Sofra bar for a drink, I said I’d catch up as I stayed to finish wine, thank Rebecca and Boris for a lovely day and ask them to join us for a drink. When I got to Sofra, Jac and Lee were sat with a drink and the bar was very busy so my parents, Jo and Steve had gone to sit at Dalyan Lounge opposite and had also ordered a drink. I ended up at Dalyan Lounge too, followed by Rebecca and Boris.
After all the wine (I’d had 2 rosé and 2 red) I decided a soft drink would be better as we were off to Lukka Bingo with Mark & Kate shortly.
We had a good time at Lukka bingo but I did have to limit my drinks to just 1 wine and a soda water as prices were higher there at 95 lira (£3.88) for a glass of wine. Pamela and Glynn hadn’t made it out, Daisy and Tom didn’t stay out long either but the 5 of us enjoyed my last night together. Kate very kindly bought me a Healthy Eating Notebook so I could keep track of my food and drink while I was away.
I was meant to go for my leaving drinks with the girls at Rodrigo’s but it was late by the time we left Lukka and I had lots to do tomorrow before my trip to Rhodes and Vietnam. I said my goodbyes, Mark and Kate said they would see me tomorrow before I went but I didn’t think I’d be out.

Photo credit – Captain Boris

Dalyan – 4th May

I got up before 9am on Thursday 4th May and made myself a cup of Yorkshire tea then checked my messages. My Mom hadn’t messaged yet but they might still be on English time and were 2 hours behind. The rain was heavy and it wasn’t the best weather for my parents to be welcomed in. I logged on to my emails and sent my invoice for payment to my boss. I didn’t have breakfast as I thought my parents might be hungry and up for meeting for food, especially as they wouldn’t have got any shopping in yet. I went to the shop to order more water and generally pottered about but by midday I was hungry and still hadn’t heard from Ma & Pa. I ate a small bit of courgette tortilla from the fridge and I’d got a beef stew out of the freezer for dinner.
At 1pm my Mom messaged to see if I’d got up yet, as she’d thought I’d still be in bed with a hangover. They popped over to mine, it was good to see them and I made cups of Yorkshire tea for us all. They had already had quite a busy morning; shopping, getting the internet put back on and a breakfast at Ela’s Kitchen (when the rain came down hard). If only I’d known I’d have joined them at my favourite place for breakfast. After drinking tea, my parents went back to their place to drop their shopping off and we arranged to meet again later. The Bengisu Boys were playing at the Jazz Bistro bar tonight and they had an open mic as their support so I was really looking forward to it.
Having eaten very little all day, I was ravenous so I ate my beef stew and then had cream crackers with cheese, cheese spread, gherkins and beef bacon. I needed to line my stomach but be fairly healthy as tonight I was wearing Carol’s size 12 dress for the first time out in public. I didn’t wear the heels as it was raining and I knew I’d be dancing, instead I wore my £1 Primark flipflops which Daisy had got me.
My parents and I sat at a table quite near the front and we asked for a menu to check prices of the drinks. They didn’t have draft beer on but an Efes bottle was 100 lira (£4.08) on the menu, which was a bit pricey. Ramazan came to take our order and told us that because the band was playing for free tonight a beer would only be 70 lira (£2.86) which was more reasonable. The various support acts, including Daisy, were all really good and entertaining. The place really filled up and the staff were definitely overstretched – it took ages to get served and they ran out of beer. Most of Mark and Kate’s table left earlier because of that which was a shame. Like an idiot, I had forgotten my phone so I was unable to take photos of us or the band. I did ask a friend to take some but they weren’t the best! I met a girl in the toilet queue who I recognised as Fatma, the Algerian waitress from Heybe during a power cut a year ago. She was amazed that I remembered her because of her ghost story she told me, Louisa, Linda and Alex. She got up and did a few songs and played guitar – she was very good too. It was a great night and all 3 of us were on the dancefloor giving the ball a kick! When we came to pay the bill we’d had 12 beers between the 3 of us which wasn’t bad. We decided to have ‘one more drink’ in Sofra bar after, as you do! When I got home, and after dancing like a woman possessed, I was hungry. I’d got half a Lukka Sunday dinner out of the freezer for tomorrow which I warmed up and had with Oxo gravy at 3.45am.

Photo credit – Bengisu Boys, various

Dalyan – 3rd May

It was Fat Club day again on Wednesday 3rd May and what a day it would turn out to be for my last Wednesday in Dalyan. It was less than 13 hours until my parents landed at Dalaman airport, less than 4 days until I would be on my way to Rhodes and 10 days until I arrived in Ho Chi Minh city, Vietnam, to meet Captain Caveman.
I took my measurements; I’d lost 2cm from my bust, 1cm from my hips but my waist (where I needed to lose it the most) had stayed the same. In another last ditch attempt to lose weight today I did 70 seconds squat, 90 seconds plank, 30 crunches and 20 leg lifts – it was very difficult! For breakfast I only had chickpea biscuits and courgette tortilla with a cup of Yorkshire tea. At 12.30pm I had an appointment with Emrah, my hairdresser, for a cut, colour and styling. I ended up having my hair washed by Mehmet instead of one of the girls, as it was busy and he did a great job. After finishing my hair, Emrah took a few photos for me and I couldn’t help thinking that Edna would be pleased I still had the cavalier look to match her.

I decided I would wear one of my newly acquired dresses to Fat Club as I had a feeling I’d be going out after, to meet the pool gang for the last time in a while.
When I got on Carol’s scales I had lost 0.5kg (1.1lb) so I was pleased with that. I had now lost 8.2kg (18lb) in total and it was definitely noticeable. I got a lift round to Rehab bar with Carol where I proceeded to have 2 celebratory draft beers. I bumped in to Dan, who I’d played pool with before, and he was having a daiquiri at the bar. He’d gone for a red fruit one to detract from his rather pink and painful looking sunburn. Carol and I joined Kate, Pamela, Gareth and Julie, sat outside Rehab until the sun went in. Carol was a bit giddy at how much weight I’d lost and insisted we took photos in the street. Kaan, the Tequila boat captain, stopped by to say hello and liked my new leopard print dress and my new weight loss, he even asked if I still had a husband! I obviously let him know I was still very much with Captain Caveman and was off to see him soon. After getting chatting to Gareth and Julie I was almost late for my next engagement of the day. I had been invited by Ann to her daughter, Jacqueline’s birthday celebration at Sofra bar and I was looking forward to it.

I joined Ann, Jacqueline, Lee, Jamie and Drew at Sofra bar for birthday celebrations at 7.30pm. My parents were currently on their flight to Dalaman and would arrive in a couple of hours but planned to go straight to their apartment. Jacqueline and Lee had flown in from Manchester earlier today and Ann had organised a cake from Louize as a surprise. I wasn’t going to have any cake due to the fact that I was meant to be on a diet but I was ‘forced’ in to it and it’s one of the best ones of Louize’s I’ve had. I had picked up Daisy’s sunglasses when I left Rehab bar, and had them in my bag. She messaged to ask the whereabouts of them which gave me the idea to send her photos of everyone around me wearing them. My reply to Daisy being ‘do you mean these?’ Even the staff, the dogs (including a stray that wanted in on the fun), and some other friends got involved. Şükrü made Jac do a birthday shot with him and she chose apple sourz! By 10.30pm the birthday celebrations were over and everyone paid up and got ready to leave. I, on the other hand, and not had my hair done and put a frock on for me to go home early. My Mom had messaged to say they had arrived but weren’t coming out as they were tired from travelling. Mom said she would message tomorrow so we could finally see each other again.

I went to meet Wendy, from Sheffield, and friends in Rodrigo’s bar and ended up giving the ball a right kick with Wendy, Jackie, Turgay, Kirsty, Sally, Sandra, Mal, Alice, Savaş and Ozzy. It must have been about 3am when we got turfed out and made our way home.
I didn’t cook myself any random meals when I got in but I did set my alarm so that I’d be up and ready to see my parents in the morning.