Phong Nha to Dong Hoi – 8th April

On Monday 8th April at 7am the humidity was over 80% and my weather app said it would rain. Captain Caveman was convinced it wouldn’t and that it would be fine until we left for Dong Hoi at 4.15pm. At 8am Captain Caveman went to the Glass House and Oxalis to do work related stuff on his day off.
At 10.30am I met Hoan and Chung at Phong Nha Vegan where I ordered the Vegan Pho for breakfast. What I didn’t realise is that I’d been invited to the communal lunch at 11am so I, obviously, didn’t join in on the food. I met the staff and established their ages so that I knew whether to call them em or chi. Yen, Thuong, Nhung, Ha, Thuong Hai and Phuong all introduced themselves. I didn’t meet Hanh, as she starts later in the day but I already knew her.

My next stop off was to The Villa’s to meet Captain Caveman, as we had 3 hours until our pick up car and Captain Caveman was peckish. He had lunch there and some drinks and, here’s what we had and the prices in Vietnamese Dong.

The Villa’s
2 cups of Jasmine tea 60,000
2 Huda beers 70,000
1 cheese & onion toastie 95,000
Total spent 225,000VND (£7.10)

Just as we were getting ready to leave to get back to Oxalis for the pick up car, it started to rain. I was wearing a low cut top so I got quite wet with no time to dry off as the driver was already early and waiting. I was cold in the car with the AC on and had to close the flaps for the 50 minute journey to the Minh Quang hotel in Dong Hoi. We got checked in to a nice room and were meant to be meeting Dung (aka Seven) and his family at Tree Hugger for dinner but he cancelled. I was looking forward to Tree Hugger so Captain Caveman and I went by ourselves. Unfortunately, Captain Caveman tried to order 2 meals which were both unavailable and he had to settle for fried spring rolls. I ordered the beef and vegetable stir fry with brown rice and we both had a white russian and then walked back to the hotel.
Here’s the prices at Tree Hugger, they do a great White Russian;

Tree Hugger
1 Fried spring rolls 50,000
1 beef and veg rice plate 65,000
2 White Russian cocktails 120,000
Total paid 235,000VND (£7.42)

I had another live session booked in, about running my own business, so Captain Caveman went to meet Stu at the Korean BBQ place. My stomach wasn’t good so it was an early night as we were off to the airport in the morning.

Phong Nha – 7th April

On Sunday 7th April I had been asked by Chung if I would like to meet with her and Hoan, the owner of Phong Nha Vegan, at 8am. There was a new coffee shop opening in Phong Nha and they wanted to go there. I left Captain Caveman in bed with instructions to try to get the room cleaned and see if we could stay one more night.
Hi Coffee looked very nice and they had a cute little dog. I had a herbal tea and, when my friends arrived, they also had tea or juice, not coffee. Today was the opening day so we were there early and it wasn’t too busy yet.
My next stop off was at Tree House for a smoothie bowl breakfast on my way to meet Veronika. I cycled in the warm sun to meet her at Lotus Cafe & Restaurant for our lunch. I ordered the chicken Luk Lak with steamed rice instead of chips and Veronika had the pork ribs with pickled mustard greens. Both dishes were delicious and the waitress gave us a free juice, I also completely forgot to take photos of our food. My meal was 90,000VND (£2.84) which was a good price for the portion size. After, I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, in the sun, to see Captain Caveman.
Meanwhile, back in Turkey, the new rules about staying in a house where the owner wasn’t present were causing issues. It also meant I would no longer be able to pet sit for friends who were going on holiday in July, August or September, which was a bit of a problem for me, as we had tenants in Captain Caveman’s apartment until the end of September. It also meant I couldn’t stay at my parents’ place without them both being present unless I was able to prove I was related to them. Unfortunately, I still have an unrelated surname which would mean getting my birth certificate and marriage certificate, and I didn’t have them in Vietnam or Turkey. I’d not yet got the money together for my return flight either and needed to work out where I could stay until October, if I wasn’t allowed to pet sit in Turkey – another thing on the To Do list!
That evening, Captain Caveman and I cycled to Xin Chao for dinner where I had a really tasty chicken and vegetable fried rice and Captain Caveman ordered the meatball sandwich. We called in to The Villa’s for a cheeky nightcap on the way home. Tomorrow we were off to Dong Hoi in the afternoon so we both packed our bags ready for our next little adventure.

Phong Nha – 6th April

Even with Captain Caveman away, I was still awake by 7.30am on Saturday 6th April. I did some writing for my blog and generally lolled about until I realised I needed some breakfast. I wasn’t sure if Sunshine Homestay included breakfast but there was rarely anyone about. We’d been there 4 nights already and there was no sign of any cleaning of our room. I used Google translate to ask but I wasn’t sure if they understood. Bluey and I cycled in to town, as far as Tree House where I had a fruit salad with yoghurt and chopped nuts/seeds for breakfast. I also took my own Yorkshire tea bags and asked for some milk. When I paid the bill they only charged me for the fruit which was good of them as 80,000VND (£2.53) was fairly pricey for a breakfast in Vietnam.
Captain Caveman was due out this afternoon but would be going to his Gala dinner at Chay Lap tonight, Tatas was due back at 5.30pm. I kept myself free to meet either or both of them when they were available. For lunch I went to meet Chung at Phong Nha Vegan, but she was helping the staff in the kitchen. I tried the Vegan Banh Xeo, which is a rice flour pancake with tofu, mushroom and bean sprouts in, served with herbs and salad in rice paper rolls with a fake fish sauce dip. It was delicious and extremely filling. Just as I’d finished eating, Veronika messaged to ask if I fancied lunch with her at The Villa’s. Instead, she ate there and then came to meet me at the Vegan where she had a mango and coconut smoothie. I had a very refreshing iced kumquat tea as, despite the weather forecast of clouds and rain, it was quite hot and very humid.

I got back to Sunshine Homestay thinking I’d maybe have a little nannan nap but Captain Caveman was going to be back at the Glass House by 3pm. We were invited to Son’s house for a porter party at 3.30pm. I’m not usually keen on going to them as it’s lots of food which I can’t eat and warm beer with huge chunks of ice in – not my thing! Captain Caveman convinced me that it would be only for a couple of hours and he would bring a bottle of red wine for me, so I agreed. Captain Caveman and I were the first people there and we watched Son’s wife catering for the impromptu porter party with gusto. By 4.20pm I was a couple of glasses of wine in and was enjoying the BBQ pork and rice while Captain Caveman chugged beer with the boys and ate anything with chillies in. At the party there were Son, Lam, Gang, Hung, Cu Ba, a couple of other guys who’s names I didn’t catch and Bom later joined but only drank soft drinks. I was quite taken aback when Son passed round some Ferrero Rocher chocolates and I introduced them all to the making of a ring using the wrapper. As there’s not much English spoken, Gang was my translator and, after a pretend marriage ceremony, Captain Caveman got picked up for Chay Lap. Tatas said she was going to be late because she needed to do her exercises and tidy her room which was lucky, as Son and the remaining porters needed me to stay at their party. Everyone wanted a ring, except for Lam who was a firm no because he was already married and he did not want another wife – he was quite firm on this and I wasn’t sure if he was aware it was all make believe. Much hilarity and drunkenness followed until I finished my litre bottle of red and had to leave to meet Tatas.

Drunkenness at the Porter Party

Ferrero Rocher Rings

At The Villa’s Tatas had a margarita cocktail and a caesar salad while I had more red wine and a spaghetti bolognese. Captain Caveman joined us after his gala dinner, along with 3 Germans from Tatas’ last tour. More drinks were had with them, Captain Caveman ordered a pizza and our new friends insisted on paying for some of our drinks. We paid 344,000VND (£10.85) for our 2 meals and my glass of red wine which was a good deal. At 10pm, the Germans and Tatas were off to find a karaoke while a rather drunk Captain Caveman and I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, where they still hadn’t cleaned the room or given us more than one towel! We only had one more night there so we’d survive. As I got in to bed I realised I’d missed a video call with my parents but hoped I’d catch up with them tomorrow.

Phong Nha – 5th April

I went to Oxalis early on Friday 5th April so that I could see Tatas before her 2 day Hang Va trip. She was tired and the bus hadn’t got in until gone midnight. I had a bacon sandwich and some green tea before picking up the laundry and cycling back to Sunshine Homestay.

It was a misty, humid morning but it was about to hot up so I agreed that Khanh Linh could pick me up for lunch. She drove us both to Bamboo cafe where she insisted on us having lime yoghurt drinks. I’d been brought up to never mix citrus and dairy in the belief that they curdle but that was not a rule that Vietnamese people held. It tasted good but I worried it would give me a stomach issue. We also shared fresh pork and prawn spring rolls and a mango salad with prawn crackers. It was all very nice but I had a bad stomach before we could leave the restaurant.

In the evening I took myself off for an early dinner at The Villa’s where I had a white wine and soda, smoked duck salad and a pizza. I was only on 7 syns for this week so it was time to treat myself and I only ate a bit of the pizza and took the rest home. I paid 385,000VND (£12.09) for a starter, main, and a wine and soda.
I did end up eating a bit more of the pizza before bed time though, as the fridge in the room was not on and had mould in it. Tomorrow, Captain Caveman was due out in the afternoon and he would have one day off before we went on another little jolly!

Phong Nha – 4th April

On Thursday 4th April I got an update from Tatas that she would be back in Phong Nha tonight, as there was no bus yesterday from her home town. Unfortunately, she would not be back until about midnight and was working tomorrow. I decided to take myself off to The Villa’s to catch up with some blogging. I had a fruit salad, yoghurt and muesli for breakfast with jasmine tea. I had a bee in my bonnet about the water bottles with filtered water in which sometimes harbour mould on the stoppers so I recommended to the staff that they clean them more. I didn’t drink the water out of the bottle they brought me because of this as my stomach was already delicate. I had pho bo (beef noodle soup) for lunch and then later a carrot, orange and ginger juice. I paid 220,000VND (£6.91) for breakfast, lunch and 4 drinks so that was quite a bargain.

After a rest at Sunshine Homestay, I got an invite to celebrate Chung’s birthday with her at a local Vietnamese restaurant, not far from Magic Fingers massage place. Chung gave me a lift but I had to carry 2 birthday cakes, one in each hand – a first for me on the back of a motorbike.
The party was good with lots of familiar faces as well as some new ones. I didn’t drink any alcohol, mainly because I no longer drink beer and I don’t like the rice wine. A lot of the food wasn’t suitable for me as it had seafood, innards and chillies in but Chung ordered veggie noodles and veggie fried rice for me, which was really nice.

Around 10pm there were swarms of flying ants which were a bit bothersome and I moved away from the table. Huong, from Jungle Boss, offered to give me a lift and I agreed to carry flowers and cake too. We went to karaoke and I even got persuaded to do a Britney Spears song. My battery on my phone died but I think I got in about 1am and Long, the owner of Sunshine Homestay, was surprised at my lateness. Huong gave me a lift as she was only round the corner and I couldn’t wait to get to bed.

Phong Nha – 3rd April

Captain Caveman was off in to Hang Son Doong on the morning of Wednesday 3rd April so he’d gone on ahead to Oxalis via the Glass House. We’d decided that I needed to get my bicycle, Bluey, out of storage so I could use her to cycle in to town. I did my measurements, but without any scales I wasn’t sure how I was doing. I’d put 1cm on my waist and hips but stayed the same on my bust. I’d also had 316 syns in the last week with 108 of them being on alcohol so, if I’d been at the Dalyan (Not So) Fat Club weigh in today, I’d have probably put weight on. The weather had certainly got a lot warmer in Phong Nha since I’d returned and walking the 3km in to town wasn’t an option. I arranged to grab the dirty laundry and walk to meet Captain Caveman at Oxalis, where we could have breakfast and I could pick up Bluey. By 8.20am I was tucking in to a bowl of pho bo while admiring the river view. At 10am I was back at Sunshine Homestay, with Bluey, having the remainder of yesterday’s Vegan fresh spring rolls, for a second breakfast. It felt really hot at 38°C and 44% humidity compared to what I’d been used to so I stayed in the room for lunch with the AC on. I ordered the tofu in tomato sauce with steamed rice from Phong Nha Vegan and it was really delicious.
In the late afternoon I managed a video call with Vanessa in Sheffield who was doing well to be recovering quickly from her surgery and hoping to get well enough to be able to drive again soon.
For dinner I met an old friend, My Linh, owner of Green River Cosy Homestay, at Phong Nha Vegan. We both had a soup, shared the mushroom skewers and she had french fries. It was good to see her but she was so busy at her 2 homestays that she barely had time to eat.
That evening I had a bad stomach but I was pleased with myself for having had zero syns on weigh day.

Danang to Phong Nha – 2nd April

Captain Caveman had booked both of us on the SE6 train at 10.22am on Tuesday 2nd April, from Danang to Dong Hoi. The journey takes 6.5 hours but he’d booked the top bunks of a 4 berth coach so we could lay down. The cost was 319,000VND (£10) each so quite a bargain. Captain Caveman ate my leftover pizza for his breakfast. I don’t eat before travelling because I don’t like to have an upset stomach but there were both squat and western style toilets on the train that weren’t too bad to use. Captain Caveman brought us a packet of crisps each for the journey and ate his straight away. The train was on time, we were lucky to have well behaved bottom bunk passengers and all went according to plan. I ate my crisps once I got hungry and even managed a bit of a snooze.

When we arrived at Dong Hoi we were sharing a car with a customer who was going on an Oxalis tour on a different day to Captain Caveman. We dropped him off at Funny Monkeys, Captain Caveman went straight to Oxalis for his briefing and I checked in to Sunshine Homestay, where I would stay for the next 5 nights. I didn’t have a bicycle and Captain Caveman, in his rush to get ready for work, forgot to give me any money so I walked to Oxalis to pick some up. I then continued to walk to Phong Nha Vegan to get some much needed food. I ordered fresh spring rolls, sweet potato fries and mushroom fried rice which was for both lunch and dinner. I had a watermelon juice to drink and really enjoyed my dinner. I walked to The Villa’s next where I had 1 glass of red wine and then had a bad stomach. Our friends Giang and Aaron were back in Phong Nha on a brief visit, with their young son. They came to meet me and Captain Caveman joined after his briefing. He had 4 beers and I couldn’t manage more than the 1 glass of wine so I was a cheap date with 184,000VND (£5.77) for our combined bill.

Meanwhile, the man in charge of the Saigon Children’s Charity had been back at work after the cycling event. For those of you who have already donated, here’s what Damien (Head of the charity) had to say about how he spent his Tuesday back at work, having had Thursday to Monday off, for the ride;

“All, today I am back at work in the Saigon children office and wanted to tell you what your fundraising efforts REALLY mean….

Today I have paid for:

138 ‘regular’ scholarships for disadvantaged children in 3 provinces

21 ‘special’ scholarships for children living in a leper colony in Binh Duong

Completion payment on 2 schools in Hau Giang, and penultimate payment for 1 school in Hau Giang

Playground & classroom furniture for 1 school in Tra Vinh

Training on autism therapy for professionals in Can Tho City

Online safety training for 144 parents across the Mekong Delta

This is a fairly normal day, and it only happens because you support us!

Thank you for helping us raise money to change lives 🙏🏻.”

A slideshow from the Saigon Children’s Charity cyclists

It is a month since Captain Caveman did the ride, but Saigon Children’s Charity is still accepting donations, if you didn’t get chance to donate before but can now:

Either direct to their bank accounts – https://www.saigonchildren.com/engage/bank-details/

Or via the donation page –
https://www.justgiving.com/page/adam-spillane-1706519544673?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Fadam-spillane-1706519544673&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-share

Danang – 1st April

I was hungover on Monday 1st April when Captain Caveman got up early and went down to breakfast without me. After his 3 days of charity cycling, I really didn’t know how he was still able to move. I checked my stats for March on my blog to find that the most popular country was still the UK for my readers, by a lot. Second, as I’d expected, was Turkey but the Netherlands were now a surprising third. Readers from Vietnam were still less than half as many from the Netherlands but I hoped the Vietnamese numbers would increase in April. Today marked the first day of a long term tenancy agreement at Fire Opal in Dalyan and work had started to replace the pergola that had fallen down a few years ago. I paid Aslı, in our apartment complex in Dalyan, 2,350 lira (£58.75) for the new pergola – this was a tenth of the total cost. Our wooden balconies were also getting repaired and replaced so the place was going to look good in a couple of weeks time.
I wasn’t feeling too good and had a dodgy stomach, Captain Caveman brought me back a small croissant and I forced it down with a tea I made in the room. We packed all our stuff and got ready to check out as we were off to stay at Aha Thang Bom apartment in another area of Danang for 1 night. On the way, we popped in to Quang Optic opticians for them to double check my glasses and prescription. I’d found I struggled with distance in buildings such as airports. All was fine but it was to do with the transitional lenses.

By this time it was lunch time and Captain Caveman fancied calling in to one of our favourite places, Olivia’s. My stomach was still dodgy but I was hungry so I took medication and ordered the same as Captain Caveman, a cheese and bacon burger. We had a side salad and chips too so the diet was going very well! The food was amazing and we also got complimentary shots of chocolate vodka before we left. Our lunch bill came to 724,500VND (£22.89) which included the tip.

In the evening Captain Caveman and I met up with Caroline, Vee, Julie and Gareth at Roof Top Bar. My stomach was still bad so I just had water but the others had a few beers. The bill for 13 alcoholic drinks, 1 soft drink and a water was 1,107,450VND (£34.74) which included a tip. Our restaurant of choice for dinner was Pizza 4Ps where we sat outside and ordered pizzas. I just had half of a margarita with burrata and took the rest as a takeaway. Unfortunately, it was our last night together as tomorrow, Captain Caveman and I were off back to Phong Nha as Captain Caveman had to be back at work for his 6pm briefing. I’m not sure of the prices as Caroline paid the bill before we could notice.
Caroline was the first to leave with Vee on a Grab bike, then next were us as I still wasn’t feeling well. Julie and Gareth had another couple of days in Danang before going to Hoi An. It was sad to say goodbye to everyone but we would definitely see each other again in the not too distant future. Back at our accommodation, Captain Caveman was fast asleep by the time I had come out of the bathroom. I had a bit more pizza and then went to bed too.

Saigon Children’s Charity is still accepting donations:

Either direct to their bank accounts – https://www.saigonchildren.com/engage/bank-details/

Or via the donation page –
https://www.justgiving.com/page/adam-spillane-1706519544673?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Fadam-spillane-1706519544673&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-share

Thank you very much; if you have already donated.
If you haven’t donated yet please do, if you can – no amount is too small.
In my opinion 308km of hard hot riding over 3 days is surely worth the cost of a pint!?

Hoi An to Danang – 31st March

Sunday 31st March was a busy and full on day to end the month with. It was also my Dad’s birthday and I hoped I would be able to speak to him later on. Caroline went to 9 Grains Bakery while I packed and tried to finish my Canva course as today was the last day. I didn’t get too far on practising anything as Caroline returned with a little friend; Le’s little boy. She also brought me a tea and a croissant for my breakfast which was good of her.
Captain Caveman was cycling from Hue to Danang today for his last day of the Saigon Children’s Charity Cycling Adventure. We were leaving by car for Danang at 1pm so it was only right that Caroline thought it a good idea to put her bikini on and jump in the shower with Vee, the dog, to give her a good wash. Vee needed to be clean before her girl’s night away at The Sheraton. She was also trying to teach Le’s son how to shower a dog, neither the kid nor the dog seemed keen. Le’s wife arrived to pick up the child but there was almost an incident when the small child decided to scale the balcony side to see the small dog downstairs better. He almost fell over the side, a massive drop, so the mother decided it was time to go.
Caroline and I had a couple of things left on the to do list that we hadn’t got round to doing yet. They were; buying some leather flipflops and trinkets to take to Phong Nha, eating the traditional Hoi An noodle dish of Cao Lau and Caroline wanted me to get my hair chemically straightened at her hairdresser’s. I decided the only one on that list which was feasible was to eat the Cao Lau, so Caroline ordered it to be delivered. It was so tasty and Vee loved us sharing a bit with her, but only the meat. Caroline also decided she needed to give me some unwanted clothes, which I was surprised to find did fit me. But they wouldn’t fit in my rucksack and I had to use a Vietnamese laundry bag.
At 1pm the car was here but, of course, we weren’t quite ready. Jake was staying in the apartment while we were gone and there was still the issue of whether the thumb print door knob would work. By 1.20pm, we were on our way to Danang, to a yet to be confirmed location and finish line for the Saigon Children’s Charity cycle adventure.

Captain Caveman had sent me the map coordinates of where we needed to be for the finish line. This is where Caroline got the car to stop, after we had dropped our bags off at our respective hotels. It was literally in the middle of nowhere on a busy main road. Caroline kept the driver on stand by which was definitely a good thing. I messaged Julie and Gareth so that they could join us and we all waited at a little stall for word from Captain Caveman. After 30 minutes of being sat about, Captain Caveman sent a photo of himself at the top of the Hai Van Pass – he’d made it up the hill! They were waiting for the rest of the cyclists to all get to the top and then they would do the last section, downhill, together. He video called and he looked hot and sweaty but happy he was almost finished. We were told to look out for a bus or wagon which would come to mark the finish line. When we saw the guy on a motorbike with a finishing flag, it was almost too late. Captain Caveman and whoever was in the front were only a minute behind this man and we only just captured the video of them arriving.
It was so hot and all the cyclists made it to the side of the road where Heart of Darkness had provided some beers. I was thirsty and eager to have a drink but I made sure I waited until all the cyclists had one. It was great to see them all so humble but quietly proud they had done it.

Video of Captain Caveman finishing the cycling event

Video of more cyclists finishing

Captain Caveman joined the rest of the group to go to the Nalod hotel to shower and change. Caroline, Vee, Julie, Gareth and I got in the car and went to Maia Beach Bar for drinks. It was a lovely place but, as is the case with a lot of the beach bars in Danang, service wasn’t the best and there was no soap in the toilets. Captain Caveman joined us briefly before he headed off to the end of the event dinner at My Casa. Our next stop for the 4 of us was to Esco Beach bar where we ordered food, and more drinks. Caroline ordered Vee a steak and she was a bit fussy over how it was cooked but ate it. I had a really nice sweet and sour chicken with rice. Caroline ordered seafood, while Julie and Gareth were keen to try some Vietnamese food.
When Captain Caveman rejoined us, he was proudly wearing his medal from the Saigon Children’s Charity Cycling adventure. He was quite merry but pretty tired and we went back to the hotel when the bar closed.
Vee got the best service at the Sheraton hotel, where they really cater well for dogs, so Caroline was really happy. At 12.50 am, it was 6.50pm in the UK so we were able to call my Dad and say ‘Happy Birthday’. I still hadn’t told my parents the news about Captain Caveman’s job at Oxalis finishing this year and it wasn’t the right time to discuss now and spoil Dad’s birthday or a great weekend for Captain Caveman. Hopefully, I would get to speak to them properly once we were back in Phong Nha in a couple of days.

Hoi An – 30th March

On Saturday 30th March Caroline had a treat booked in for us, while poor Captain Caveman was cycling in high heat and humidity from Dong Ha to Hue! Caroline and I had a short trip to Weaver’s Cafe in An Bang with Hawk and Hong for brunch. It’s a cute little cafe run by a Vietnamese woman and her English husband and they do a greasy spoon style English breakfast. Hawk and Hong were already there and he had a pot of Yorkshire tea on the go. Caroline and I ordered a soda water and a pot of Yorkshire tea to share. I obviously ordered the Full English breakfast but without eggs or tomatoes, Hawk and Hong had a chicken salad with poached eggs on top, Caroline had lasagne and chips. Caroline had already paid the bill when I tried to get mine and I don’t remember the prices but it seemed reasonable for western food. The breakfast was good but I knew my body wouldn’t think so and I had a bad stomach before I even left Weaver’s. This didn’t bode well for our next adventure as we were off back to Golden Girls Spa for a 4 hands massage each and I’d booked in for a snatch wax (aka Brazilian).

The massage was amazing and I almost fell asleep, I was also pleased to be able to fit in to the little outfits they gave us, which are normally far too tight for me.
After the massage, Caroline went home to walk and feed Vee, the dog, while I got a very thorough waxing from Caroline’s friend. It was very good but it was a little disconcerting when she complimented my lady garden! She had used the wax that peels off rather than the papers so I was pleased but she didn’t have anything to get the residue off with. There was no time to worry about that as I had to get dressed, pay the 750,000VND (£23.61) for the hour massage and the waxing and meet Caroline at the 3 Dragon’s pub. We had arranged to meet Hawk and Jake there but I was first, closely followed by Caroline. I stuck to water while Caroline drank beers and we had some chicken strips to share. The 3 Dragon’s menu is good but not very Slimming World friendly so I decided having smaller portions was a good idea. Hawk arrived and had a chicken dish and Jake didn’t eat. Another guy, Jack, joined us and we all talked for a while. I could see Caroline was looking a bit tired so I suggested we leave and we said our goodbyes. I paid for our food and drinks which came to about 400,000VND (£12.57) as it was definitely my turn. Back at Caroline’s, we were met with a bit of an issue; her newly fitted thumbprint door access wouldn’t work and we couldn’t get in to her apartment. Jake had been in previously and had also left Vee out on the balcony so she was distressed when Caroline asked the landlord to climb up to get in. He couldn’t get in as Jake had locked that door so he had to climb back down and try the door knob again, and again! When we finally got in, busting for a wee, we stayed up talking and Caroline booked her hotel for tomorrow night – her and Vee were going to stay at The Sheraton hotel, near to Captain Caveman and I, in Danang.

Hoi An – 29th March

While Captain Caveman started his cycle ride from Phong Nha Farmstay on Friday 29th March, I was already begging for mercy a little bit. We’d woken up without any drinking water in the house so Caroline had ordered some to be delivered and gone to 9 Grains Bakery. She wanted me to join her but I needed to shower and I wasn’t ready. Off she went while I revisited Day 2 of the 3 Day Canva course I had started. I was quite happily getting in to it when Caroline returned and started taking her door knob and lock off. She had bought a door knob which only opens with your thumb print and she was looking at how to fix it on. I remember thinking it would be a nightmare for me, my fingers often can’t turn on, off, up or down a ring on the electric hob in Turkey, never mind let me in to my own home when I’ve had a few drinks and am desperate for a wee.
Caroline gave up faffing after a bit and insisted we go back to 9 Grains for lunch. I was hungry as it was almost 2pm so off we went. Jake, a friend, had returned from Cambodia and she’d offered him the use of her motorbike. He’d left his bicycle at 9 Grains and it needed riding back to Caroline’s place. After a chicken, cheese, lettuce and onion sandwich on sourdough, some fruit and a berry juice I tackled the ride back on the busy road. I’m not very confident around traffic and we had a lorry in the way which meant a diversion through the fields, but I made it.
By 4.30pm I was back at the Chiropractor for another session with Dr An and is team. This time they used a giant vibrator on my back, which was pretty nice and I was stretched on the decompression machine, yet again. I was now 2cm taller than I was when I got to Hoi An. Maybe this was a good plan; to report to Fat Club that I’d grown instead of becoming any lighter!

I got changed in to a frock in the toilet after my final chiropractor session. The chiropractor had cost just 250,000VND (£7.90) per session but I’d paid only £15 for about 5 hours’ worth. The crux of my issue was that my thighs and hip muscles were too tight! There wasn’t much time before our next bit of excitement as Caroline picked me up in a golf buggy to drive us to Apggujung Korean BBQ restaurant. Joining us were Dr An, the chiropractor, a customer of his, Hawk and his wife, Hong. Caroline and I were the first there as it started to rain heavily just as we got there and the others were delayed. By the time the 6 of us were seated I’d come to the conclusion that I disliked grape soju, a Korean rice wine. I was also feeling a bit out of sorts after the therapy and was extremely tired. While I was feeling jaded from laying down or resting for most of the day, Captain Caveman had made the 135km from Phong Nha to Dong Ha and was having a beer and some food. Our Korean BBQ was fantastic and definitely one of my favourite meals. I’d paid 850,000VND (£26.87) which included Caroline and I paying for the chiro and his friend’s rice wine. Hawk and Hong, who don’t drink, sensibly left after the meal but the remaining 4 of us went in to town for a bit of a knees up.

I was conscious of money so was going to take it easy. We went to a trendy little cocktail bar next to a temple, where Caroline and the 2 fellas had a few mango daiquiris and I nursed a glass of white wine. They decided to try a new cocktail which Nick (not his real name) and his bar man performed for the customers. It was a red concoction, where fire and gold leaf were involved. My stomach can’t handle normal food so I wasn’t up for swallowing precious metals. We all had a laugh that they were covered in glitter and would be having sparkling shits tomorrow. Dr An picked up the tab for the drinks so I needn’t have restricted myself to 2 drinks, but I didn’t want to be cheeky.
When we tried to get a Grab home, Caroline was a bit tiddly and got a bit annoyed with the Grab motorbike driver who wanted to charge us an expensive 100,000VND (£3.16) and get both of us on the bike at once. Dr An and his friend had a car and tried to offer us a lift which Caroline, for some unknown reason, had declined.
In the end, we couldn’t get another Grab so we both got on the motorbike with (surprisingly) enough room. When we got to her’s she gave him 300,000VND (£9.48), well over the odds, and some words on not ripping foreigners off.
The night didn’t end there, Caroline and I stayed awake, talking, until 4am! We’d had an amazing day and night but tomorrow was my last full day in Hoi An.

Hoi An – 28th March

Caroline and I woke up on Thursday 28th March with Vee still between us on the bed. She’d obviously decided her mom needed guarding or that she was not missing out on the girls’ sleep over. Caroline had no specific plans, as she was feeling unwell still, so we headed to 9 Grains Bakery so that I could have breakfast and she could go to the chemist.
I had an earl grey tea and a fruit salad with yoghurt and granola. While Caroline brought back dehydration sachets of industrial strength and some charcoal tablets, we watched the flour delivery. It looked like a scene from a Pablo Escobar documentary.

Our next stop was for some pampering at Golden Girls Spa, on Phan Boi Chau street in Hoi An. As Caroline (and Vee) are friends with the owners and frequent the place regularly we were given the royal treatment at great prices. Even without mate’s rates, though, the prices and services were good and a pedicure with normal polish was 125,000VND (£3.95). I really enjoyed my pedicure and the leg massage that it included. Vee even got a cute and quick massage too while Caroline had a manicure, a leg and a shoulder massage.

In the late afternoon we were at the Chiropractor where I got more of the same treatment but a bit more of the machines, including an exercise one where my legs were worked.
While we were doing all that, Captain Caveman was over at the Phong Nha Farmstay getting ready for a practice cycle with some of his fellow Saigon Children’s Charity cyclists.
Caroline had needed to pick up her glasses and a pair of trousers she’d had made, which hadn’t been ready yet so she popped off to drop Vee back at home.

The 3 Dragons pub was our choice for a bite to eat, another one on the list of places we’ve visited often. It is a sports bar so we sat outside, hoping to avoid whatever sporting event was on the big screens. I was quite hungry as we hadn’t had time for lunch and it was almost 5pm. I ordered the pork ribs with BBQ sauce and fries and I had a small San Miguel beer which came to a total of 335,000VND (£10.59) and was rather good. Caroline had an Aperol spritz and a burger.

By 7.20pm we had gone to see Caroline’s business partner, Le, at one of his other business ventures. Pho May is a small Vietnamese restaurant, popular with Koreans, where we had a beer each and I had to try the prawn and pork wontons. They were amazing but very filling and our bill was paid for by either Caroline or Le.

Caroline had insisted that Le come meet us after he finished work so, after a quick drink at The Box, we went to Salt pub to meet him. It was very nice, Caroline knew the owner so we chatted for a bit, we had a go on the seesaw (as you do), before going to sit by the beach. We tried to order frozen margaritas but we had a bit of trouble so settled on normal ones. Caroline insisted on getting the bill again which came to 625,000VND (£19.76) for 4 margaritas and a bottle of Huda.

Hoi An – 27th March

In the absence of scales I got up and fished out my trusty tape measure on Wednesday 27th March. Today would be the 3rd Dalyan (Not so) Fat Club I’d not attended, since being in Vietnam. I was missing it but we had a group chat on Messenger that was keeping me going with support from other members and Carol. My pee was the colour of treacle and I was severely dehydrated after yesterday’s overly long journey and the amount of wine I’d had last night. This week my total syn consumption was 352, more than 3 times my allowance, and 197 of those syns were on alcohol. So, I was very surprised with my results this week;
Bust no change and still 1cm under target,
Waist -2cm and back at target,
Hips -1cm and back at target.
It was a miracle but I was already aware this could catch up with me next week!
Captain Caveman topped up my SIM card from Phong Nha but I didn’t know how to get a phone package on so Caroline booked me her Grab driver to come get me. She also met me outside the hotel and we then changed plans. She gave my bag to the driver and asked him to put it in her apartment, he had a key. Then I got on the back of her scooter and we went to 9 Grains Bakery, which she co-owns. Once there, I was treated to a pot of earl grey tea and an amazing pain au chocolat for breakfast. While there, the Grab driver sent a photo of my bag in her house which was so nice. I met Le, Caroline’s business partner, who helped me put a package on my phone. We also met up with Hawk, a fitness guru and motorbike tour guide from the Uk. He and I met years ago through Captain Caveman, we get on well and he’s now one of Caroline’s best mates. It was good to see him and have a bit of English banter. At 11.30am I also got a great cheese, lettuce and onion sandwich on sourdough and a peppermint tea for an early lunch.

Our next adventure was a trip to Mommy Shark, my favourite swimwear shop in Vietnam. Here I bought some more of the cycling shorts with secret pockets at only 245,000VND (£7.73), a green baggy t-shirt at 250,000VND (£7.88), and a black lightweight top for 300,000VND (£9.46). A total of 795,000VND (£25.06) was expensive for my unemployed budget but also necessary if I was going to be travelling by motorbike more often.
We got back on the motorbike and went to Caroline’s house which was really lovely. Vee, the dog, was super cute too and as we walked her, we met the neighbour’s puppy.

Caroline took me with her to her chiropractor later in the afternoon and, while I was there, she paid for me to have a session. It was definitely strange and I had about 90 minutes of Tens machine, manipulation and back stretching on a decompression machine not unlike some kind of horizontal electric chair. Dr An, the chiropractor, recommended I come back for 2 more sessions and could tell I wasn’t quite back to normal from my injury 3 years ago.

That evening we ate at Blue Fin restaurant in An Bang where it was my turn to pay. Here’s what we had;
6 frozen margaritas 380,000
Pulled pork tacos 190,000
1 truffle and mushroom pizza 220,000
1 burger patty and fried egg 75,000
+ Vat 76,800
Total 941,800VND (£29.72).
The food was really good and I really enjoyed it. The burger and egg was for Vee, the dog, who snaffled it down super quick with it being her favourite meal there. Unfortunately, a horny street dog came over and was being a pain so Caroline had to take Vee home and come back. She also wasn’t feeling too good and had a bad stomach. The food and cocktails were excellent but it wasn’t a late night. Caroline and I shared her bed, which was pretty big and we had our own quilt each (game changer when sharing a bed). Vee came on to the bed for a snuggle with an expectation that she would go to her bed after a while but we all fell asleep together.