It was crumpets for breakfast with a hangover on Friday 19th July. Last night had really been so good, I had no regrets and I was a bit sad to be seeing Captain Caveman off today. He decided it would be a good idea for us to go into town early so we could get some lunch, our last meal together before I met him in Turkey in just over 10 weeks’ time. It was time for him to say farewell to my parents but they would also be in Turkey when he returned. My Mom mentioned that there was some global IT system outage and we dismissed her when she suggested that the buses may be affected because of it. Leaving me with a suitcase half full of his clothes and shoes, we went for the 10.55am bus in to town. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn up until 11.22am and then it had a driver being trained by a gobby woman from Chesterfield who was doing nothing for my hangover! We’d gone about 6 or 7 stops and when we had to stop at Birley and wait for a mechanic. The Chezzy trainer shouted to us all that we would just be 2 minutes as they needed to fill up the water. Unfortunately, this was not true and 2 buses, which we could have got on to, sailed past. Captain Caveman’s National Express bus to London Victoria was leaving Sheffield at 12.45 pm so now we didn’t have time to go anywhere for lunch. Instead, when we got to town we rushed to Marks & Spencer’s – our first walk on Fargate and we were shocked at the state of it. Captain Caveman got himself a Roast Beef sandwich (£3.90) and an Orange & Mango juice (£2) but we didn’t have time for me to choose or even fathom what you can get in a meal deal these days. Captain Caveman was determined to have a coffee from Macdonald’s on our way back to the bus station. It was £1.59 for a double Espresso and you buy it by touching a massive screen and paying on card , which felt weird to me. Then you still went to the counter to collect it but there were staff stood around and no customers at the till. On the way to Pond Street there were a few too many obvious druggies around and it was so noticeable. At the National Express bus, it was busy with the driver faffing about with a ramp user who he had left to sit in his wheelchair in the bright sun for too long. I said my goodbyes to Captain Caveman and he did remember to give me a kiss and a hug this time, which was nice! I waved the bus off and then went to get my bus ‘home’ which was meant to be at 1pm but was late. This was fortunate as I had time to buy my lunch from WH Smith where I took advantage of the meal deal, thinking I was getting a bargain. I had a chicken wrap, some salt ‘n’ vinegar Walker’s crisps and a juice for £5.99 and it was nowhere near as good as a M&S sandwich. The bus finally arrived at 1.14pm and the young chirpy driver explained that my Mom was correct and the world had come to a bit of an IT related standstill. He had a giant sippy cup of Yorkshire tea and was ready for the abuse from all the passengers he was late for. Back home, my parents decided it had heated up enough for some outdoor lounging, drinking and eating. I helped Dad move the garden furniture and put out the cushions, a job that would become more frequent over the next few days. Ma made a curry and Dad got the wine out, but not the Chardonnay that was in the garage fridge – he was saving that. The chicken bhuna was excellent and Ma even surprised us with a couple of naans and some onion bhajis. The Pinot Grigio went down well too and it was nice to be out in the garden still at 8.30pm in a summer dress and not complaining I was cold!
It was Captain Caveman’s last full day with me in England on Thursday 18th July and it was also his birthday. I’d organised for us to celebrate later but he wanted to keep any plans casual which was proving a bit tricky. It was only 18°C at 9am as I had my tea and toast then got on with work for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, I had some bad news; my parents did not drink Yorkshire tea but I’d thought all this time that they did. They had been fans of Tetley it appeared and even had the Tetley teabags bought in bulk. It was a good job I’d brought my own, all the way from Vietnam and Turkey! Captain Caveman got all his stuff together and was leaving for London tomorrow afternoon by bus. Before midday we were bus wankers once again as we ventured in to town for some birthday fun. The bus fare from Mosborough to Sheffield city centre, which is 12km and takes about 20 minutes usually, cost us £2 each, one way. My parents had declined our invite to join us as they don’t like to go in to town if they can help it, even though they both have free bus passes, and they don’t particularly like to go out drinking in Sheffield these days. On the bus I got some messages and photos of the pool from Captain Caveman’s apartment complex which could’ve been taken on any given day and reused but he seemed to think he was on top of things now – I was still dubious. We got off the bus near the train station and headed to a cafe on Brown Street, I noticed Spearmint Rhino was no longer! I just had a soda water and Captain Caveman had a coffee as it was one of those fancy places that serves smashed avocado and I wasn’t keen so we didn’t stay. Instead we walked up towards The Moor where 2 sleeping tramps and a dog were almost blocking the door to Beres sandwich shop. We both had a pork sandwich and went to sit on a bench to eat it, as it was now sunny. My first pork sandwich since being back in England cost £3.60. It was so tasty and was another thing off our must do list. We walked through Leopold Square where Strada had now become another restaurant called Pho. I checked out the menu to find a Pho Ga (chicken noodle soup) was priced at a whopping £12.25 which, compared to £1.82 for a posh one in Victory Road Villas, Phong Nha, was absolutely shocking! We walked up West Street and along Division Street spotting new places like Glass Onion and Pieminister as well as old favourites The Frog & Parrot and the Devonshire Chippy. No cars are allowed on the road now so it seemed odd to see people sat outside the pub but on the road. There were a lot more drug addled homeless people around too, and I was shocked to see drugged up women who looked like they were desperate for a wash. At the clothing bank, I wondered why all the clothes were spread out on the floor but maybe it was for the homeless to be able to use them. As it was lunchtime on a Thirsty Thursday, we tried to go to a pub for a drink but not many were open, including another old favourite, The Bath, which didn’t open until 4pm – on a Thursday!! We unsuccessfully tried a couple of other pubs which were either not open, closed down or had the decorators in. The Forum was still going strong so we went in there but I just had a pint of water, which was completely free (more on that later) and Captain Caveman had a pint. We had a critter join us which I didn’t like but Captain Caveman persuaded me to be friends with it and we saved it by giving it some water, then it ended up in the hair of a recently graduated female with a partial tit hanging out. We decided to walk towards Kelham Island as, surely, pubs there would be open and it might be a bit more classy!?
Today was also the day of Captain Caveman’s friend’s funeral. Sid Perou, from England but living in Thailand, was a famous caver and filmmaker who had sadly passed away. We’d last met up with Sid, his wife and his grandson in May last year and he was a really fascinating and lovely man. Captain Caveman and I were of course upset by this news, Captain Caveman in particular, and he had planned to mark the evening by joining some cavers at The Cobden View pub. The Sheffield University Speleological Society (SUSS) meet there on a Thursday, right at the same time that I’d arranged a small gathering of friends to help Captain Caveman celebrate his birthday. We decided Captain Caveman would go to the Cobden View but I would go to meet everyone at Kelham Island. After the caving night, Captain Caveman would join us. In the meantime, we had stopped off at The Shakespeare for a pint on the way to Kelham Island, we both had a pint and a packet of Salt and Vinegar Discos to share. We had a walk round Kelham Island to find a few of the pubs were closed but we ended up in The Millowners Arms where I had another pint of water. I was feeling a bit dehydrated after last night and thirsty after walking in Sheffield which is far more hilly than I’m used to. To my surprise, the water was free again and I was absolutely loving being able to drink tap water whenever I liked – it was so amazing! Next, we decided to call in to the bar I had arranged to meet everyone in later tonight. I’d been to Salt before but it turned out that Captain Caveman hadn’t, as we ordered 2 on-tap cocktails for a total of £12.30. My Pornstar Martini was a bit too sweet but Captain Caveman’s Espresso Martini went down well. We also tried a gyoza snack for £4.50 which was tiny but tasty. Our next stop ended up being Craft & Dough with other choices not being open and Captain Caveman was getting a bit peckish. We decided to order a pizza to share and he had another pint of beer while I went to the loo. When I came out I went to order a pint of water and asked the barman how much it was. I never knew this but, all licensed premises in England and Wales are required by law to provide ‘free potable water’ to their customers upon request. He explained that it was illegal not to give free tap water out when asked and I was so impressed with this law. I also ordered a beer as I thought it was a good idea and we were going to be meeting a few people who were finishing work soon.
Captain Caveman and I met Tony and Paul first at 6pm at the Kelham Island Tavern. Tony was drinking from a glass labelled Left Handed Giant which might be his new nickname. Becca was also already there just as we arrived as she’d got an Uber in to town. As we tried to work out how long it had been since our last rendezvous (too long!) and who knew who from where, the beers flowed. Luan, Drexy and Jeff arrived as Captain Caveman left to go to the SUSS meet up. More reminiscing and laughter was had before we realised we needed to change venues to meet anyone else at Salt. Becca and I left first as Louisa and Linda were already sat outside and I almost didn’t recognise them as both had different hairstyles since I last saw them. Louisa was working later so couldn’t stay out long but had made the effort for Captain Caveman’s birthday, I hoped he would make it back before she had to leave. To complete the crew, Caz & Tim were next to arrive and we had a drink or two more. I felt that I didn’t get to speak to everyone enough and it dawned on me that the time I planned to be in England for would fly by. It was the school holidays so lots of parents were busy with the kids or going away so it wasn’t possible for everyone to come out, just because JoLo was back in town. As we were chatting, Luan informed us that one of our friends’ father had died. But then when she double checked it was a false alarm and we all raised a glass to him, with Linda saying ‘I’ve never met him, but I’m so glad he’s alive!’ It was nice to be with my Northern mates again and we had a great time. As I said bye to Louisa and Linda, Captain Caveman was in the taxi coming back – which was a shame they had missed each other.
We had another drink in Salt but then decided to go back to The Kelham Island Tavern. Caz and Tim also had to get back home so they said their goodbyes. Much to Captain Caveman’s aversion to acknowledging his birthday, he responded quite well to a group rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ from the rest of us in our last bar. Drexy and Jeff had offered to give Captain Caveman and I a lift back to Mosborough and the sensible thing would’ve been to take it. Luan and Paul also had work tomorrow so were leaving but I blame Tony for the rest of the evening’s shenanigans.
I don’t think Captain Caveman was expecting for it to be such an eventful (drunken) birthday on Thursday 18th July. Tony had the amazing idea that we should all go for a curry. Once we’d said bye to the people our hangovers would be wishing we were tomorrow, I called Butler’s Balti to ask them to stay open. Tony is a regular there so they agreed to wait for us but we took longer to walk there than we expected because of all the road work paraphernalia in the way. Once there, we were the only customers; Tony, Becca, Captain Caveman and I were so grateful, though, and we cracked on with ordering our drinks and food quite sharpish. Tony and I had red wine, Becca had white and Captain Caveman stuck to beer (for the time being). I’d love to write about what each of us ordered but all I can recall is that it was amazing food and that Captain Caveman and Tony went for something too hot for me to handle. At the end of the night, and as the staff were probably really hoping to lock up, Captain Caveman was presented with the ultimate birthday drink. Of course, I had to get a video of it which, to Captain Caveman’s irritation, caused a bit of an injury. While I videoed and we all sang Happy Birthday in the style of Stevie Wonder on a night out in Sheffield, Captain Caveman had to wait to blow out the flaming sambuca which then meant he burned his lip on the hot glass and lethal liquid. Outside we struggled to get taxis for 3 out of 4 of us and we were a bit merry by this stage. Becca got upset as her taxi got nicked by someone else and Captain Caveman got impatient when we ordered a second one as ours went missing. Poor Tony was left to sort us all out and make sure Becca got the taxi and he got back to his hotel. All this on a school night but we were home before 1am and our friendly taxi driver was chatting all the way back to Mosborough to his friend abroad. It only cost £16 which I didn’t think was bad considering it was probably about that 2.5 years ago. What a night, tomorrow was going to hurt but I’d fortuitously took the day off work.
Josh and Martha had weighing scales in their bathroom and it was my weigh day on Wednesday 17th July. I’d consumed just shy of 500 syns this week, but I kidded myself that at least I was still tracking it! I do realise that simply writing it down doesn’t make me lose weight, eating and drinking less does! According to these scales I had put on 0.85kg (1.9lb) which wasn’t great but my measurements weren’t too bad; bust +1cm, waist stayed the same and hips -1cm! We let down our trusty inflatable borrowed bed, which had been comfy, and tidied the room. With everything packed it was time to say bye to Martha as Josh gave us a lift to Oxenholme train station on his way to work. We had spent the last 2 days having lots of laughs and it was definitely one of the things I loved most about being back in England – spending time with friends who had a great sense of humour and banter. I don’t get as many opportunities to do that in Vietnam due to the language barrier and my comedic style being somewhere between Sid James and Jimmy Carr. My concerns about gaining weight were soon forgotten (again) as we arrived at the cafe outside the station. We’d said a hurried farewell to Josh with hopes of seeing him and Martha in Turkey this winter and had a little bit of time before our train at 9.14am. Captain Caveman had already booked our train tickets in advance and we were going via Manchester Piccadilly to Sheffield, hoping to arrive around midday. Captain Caveman ordered a toastie and I had a bacon sandwich with brown sauce. The cafe there is excellent and my bacon sandwich was so good!!
The train to Manchester was fine, although someone was sat in our allocated seats, a lady who I thought was rather mentally challenged as she kept talking to herself, even while she was shovelling a flapjack in to her mouth. She also was speaking in a tongue I had no knowledge of and I tried to guess where she might be from. When we got off at Manchester Piccadilly to change trains, Captain Caveman pointed out she was Glaswegian and had airpods in her ears – earphones without wires! Wow, I was so out of touch and then Captain Caveman called me racist because I didn’t recognise a Scottish accent – while we were stood next to lots of people with different skin colour to me! The train to Sheffield was rammed and we only just got a seat with it being a free for all and Captain Caveman making a passenger move her bags from the seat next to her so that I could sit down. She said she couldn’t move them because she had recently had spinal surgery and that was no issue for Captain Caveman as he bunged them on the overhead rack. I assured her he would get them back down for her when we got off, as I sat down. We arrived in Sheffield at 11.45am and my first activity was to need the toilet at platform 8! By 11.55am we were outside at the bus stop waiting for our bus to Mosborough and it was sunny! I wouldn’t have said it was hot but a workman on his lunch break obviously would have, as he came and did pull ups on the bus shelter while half naked. Our Giffgaff SIMs were now working so Captain Caveman didn’t notice as the workman got down on the floor and did press ups. I warned my parents we were on the way to their’s and we booked the family in for celebratory drinks tonight.
We arrived at Ma & Pa’s to warm hugs and they had even got us the kettle on and some nice food in for lunch. There were sandwiches with ham or pork, crisps, sausage rolls and scotch eggs. They were snaffled down very quickly and I didn’t even take a photo. After a bit of unpacking and repacking, all 4 of us decided it would be a good idea to go for a stroll to the nearest boozer. We love the Alma and it’s beer garden is often full of dogs with their owners. It was pretty quiet as we drank our pints. Captain Caveman and Mom stuck to beer but Dad and I had Inches cider. It was my first time of trying it and I really liked it, we commented that the glasses were nice and instantly went on to the barmaid’s watch list as she had noticed quite a few go missing already. We had pork scratchings even though we had plans for a dinner that Captain Caveman and I had been counting down to. I’d not been to Tony’s fish and chip shop for 2.5 years and it was at the very top of my list of must do places while I’m back. My parents were up for it and after a couple of rounds we left the Alma and went to the best chippy in Sheffield. Captain Caveman ordered himself a haddock, the rest of us had cod and shared two lots of chips between us. I was surprised to find that a fish was now over £6 so the whole lot came to over £40 for our dinner but it was so worth it and I could’ve eaten even more. Tony’s rarely disappoints and I hoped I’d get to go there again while I was back home – the diet could wait! In one day, I’d consumed over the weeks allowance of syns already and we still had a night out planned.
I’d booked a table at the local micro pub, Craftworks on the Mosborough high street, for 7.30pm. The motley crew joining Captain Caveman and I were my parents, my sister Gayle, my 2 nieces Morgan and April and Harley, April’s boyfriend. I went on to the red wine as I was full after the ciders and fish and chips, Captain Caveman stuck to pints, as did Ma, Pa & Harley. The ladies went a bit fancy with Aperol spritz or spirits and we gave the ball a right old kick. To give an idea of costs, pints of beer ranged from £3.90 for a Barnsley bitter or a weak pale ale, right up to over £7 for something stronger or a stout. My mom was better behaved than her last family visit here and I’m happy to report that she didn’t inspect the walls or floor this time – she knew that Neil (my brother-in-law) wasn’t here to come and rescue her this time. It was a brilliant way to celebrate Captain Caveman’s birthday early with the family and my face ached from laughing so much, especially at Gayle who is hilarious (even when she’s not trying to be). My nieces are now adults and I was kindly invited to a party next week to celebrate April turning 18. I’d not seen them since they came to Dalyan on holiday last year so it was brilliant to see them again. It was the first time I’d met Harley and we liked him straight away when we found out he was a fan of a music quiz! We were obviously the last to leave and at 11pm we were still all supping our last drinks as the really polite barmaid waited patiently for us to go home. Captain Caveman and I loved it and it was his first visit to Craftworks but maybe not his last.
Monday 15th July was another great day aside from the fact that Captain Caveman had his breakfast without me and left me a toilet gift that kept on giving! After Captain Caveman made me beans on toast and a cup of Yorkshire tea for my breakfast, it was time to pack and check out of White Cottage. The Giffgaff SIM we both had didn’t work in Askham so we couldn’t phone a taxi. Captain Caveman attempted Uber, which is the UK’s equivalent of Grab, but there was no luck. We left White Cottage which had cost £520 for 3 nights (no wonder it had been nice!) having had a really nice stay in Askham. At the Askham Grocery shop, we called a taxi and got a hot beverage each while we waited for the car to come from nearby Penrith. There is a bus but it only goes once per week, not on Mondays. The taxi was £20 so it didn’t break the bank and we got our train tickets at the station for £8.70 each. We were off to meet Watto and Chrissy for lunch in Oxenholme and they picked us up from Oxenholme train station. While we were waiting, we noticed the train station had a really good shop and cafe so we shared a sausage roll which was fantastic. It was great to see Watto and Chrissy, who we know from Phong Nha when Watto worked with Captain Caveman as an Oxalis cave expert and Chrissy was my fellow CWAG (Cavers Wives and Girlfriends). Phong Nha wasn’t the same without them making us laugh but it was good to see a retired Watto looking very well. They drove us to the Station Inn where we had decided to have lunch on a bit of a whim. We were the first in the pub and of course Chrissy and I didn’t need any persuading on having a bottle of white wine. We were so busy catching up that I didn’t take photos of the food but it was really good. I had the red pepper and tomato soup for starter and the scampi for main, both of which were really lovely and a good sized portion. We didn’t have room for a pudding but we did have a hot drink and the staff were really nice, friendly and accommodating. I remembered to get a group photo to commemorate the occasion but the lighting and angle weren’t the best.
Watto and Chrissy drove us to our next stop, which was to a house in Oxenholme. We were visiting another ex Oxalis cave expert as we were staying with Josh and Martha for a couple of nights. Martha opened the door and welcomed us but we had already decided we would drop our bags off and have a walk in to town. She works from home and would be busy and Josh was still at work so it gave us the time to have a wander. We had a walk in to Kendal where Captain Caveman encouraged me to have 2 pints of Guinness and a bag of pork scratchings in the Clock Tower pub. It was a proper boozer and the drink prices were reasonable so we were quite happy there until Josh came to meet us after work. It was great to see Josh after 6 months, we last saw him and Martha in Turkey at Christmas. We had another pint, then we walked back to the house where Martha’s friend had popped over to lend us an inflatable bed, which was ace. Much hilarity ensued as we all got involved in pumping it up in the spare room. We were lucky to be in it as that room was earmarked for the cinema room as they were doing up their relatively new home. The house was so lovely and we definitely made ourselves at home. Josh cooked us a great vegan dinner of mushroom risotto, which we had with garlic bread. I had a glass of wine and we all chatted and took the micky out of Josh. It was really good to see Josh and Martha again and we could’ve stayed up all night but tomorrow Martha and I had work to do.
I had tea and a buttered crumpet for breakfast on Tuesday 16th July after a pretty good night’s sleep on an inflatable bed. Captain Caveman and Josh had the day free so they took themselves off for a walk and a visit to Kendal castle. Martha and I said we would meet them later as we both had work to do. When I finished, I walked to meet the fellas who were in Cortillo restaurant having a beverage and waiting for us to join for lunch. I got a bit lost but turned out I was only about 50 metres away. My Giffgaff SIM still didn’t have any signal and was turning out to be a waste of money. I ordered a lemongrass and ginger tea and perused the rather extensive menu while we waited for Martha to finish a meeting. Josh, Captain Caveman and I all chose a version of a breakfast while Martha order 3 tapas of chicken wings, patatas bravas and garlic bread. The food was lovely, the decor quite unusual and we had a great lunch. Josh and Martha left us to find our own way home as Captain Caveman had decided he wanted to take me to Kendal castle where he had been this morning. I wasn’t too bothered, given that I was carrying my laptop in case I needed to reply to some emails and I’d just had a massive breakfast. I went to the toilet as I knew as soon as we set off walking, I would need to go. A mother and daughter were in a cubicle together, both using the toilet and I was shocked to see that when they came out, neither of them washed their hands – they just walked straight out! Captain Caveman and I walked towards Kendal castle via the shops and I saw a Herdy shop. I love their stuff and I wanted to pop in and see if we could get a gift for Josh and Martha. While I was there, I saw a bag for myself and, as I had just been paid, I decided I wanted it. Captain Caveman said I didn’t need one but my existing bag had a tangled strap and wasn’t practical. We got talking to the shop assistant while we couldn’t agree what to buy but eventually I bought the Herdy bag for me and a set of Herdy coasters for Josh and Martha. I know Martha likes a brew so I thought it would be a nice reminder of us when she was enjoying a cuppa. We carried on walking towards the castle and it did look a bit overcast as we approached the bridge. By the time we were in the field and close to the Castle, I needed the loo as I had a bad stomach. I was really bad and could hardly move, I didn’t even look up at the castle as we hurried in search of a toilet. As my phone didn’t work I asked Captain Caveman to Google toilets closest to the castle and I was so desperate that I considered knocking on a door to see if I could use the loo of a local. Captain Caveman didn’t look properly for a toilet and made me walk all the way back to Josh and Martha’s, almost bent double in pain. I ran in to the house and Martha could see on my face that I wasn’t well and put the radio on in her office, next to the bathroom. I can’t even whistle so I was grateful!
I worked until 4pm and then Captain Caveman, Josh and I decided to go to the local pub for a pint. When we got to the Factory Tap I realised it was within walking distance of the castle and a place we could have come to earlier when I was having a spasm, so I was a bit peeved with Captain Caveman. I managed a pint of Gluten free beer, crisps and pork scratchings as my belly was better. Martha joined us and I managed another Gluten Free beer and she had a gin and tonic. It was a really nice pub with a beer garden and the sun was out. Josh went back home a bit earlier than the rest of us, as he was doing us a veggie dinner at home and we finished our drinks. The veggie wraps and wedges were really tasty and I ate quite a bit, washed down with a glass of wine. We all got comfy in the living room and watched Below Deck, a first for Captain Caveman who really took to it. We’d had such a good time seeing Josh and Martha and were sad to be leaving tomorrow morning. Our next stop was my home town of Sheffield, Captain Caveman had just 2 days there before he had to go back to London, then Vietnam.
Captain Caveman treated the 4 of us to another cooked breakfast at White Cottage on the morning of Sunday 14th July. His family were leaving today but Captain Caveman had booked us in for 3 nights so we had the place to ourselves tonight. As part of the wedding celebrations there was a morning walk at 11am but I needed to work, as I had took tomorrow off, and I had a bit of a woolly head. The rest of the family decided not to go either as they wanted to avoid traffic, Captain Caveman didn’t go because of the rain (which isn’t like him). Everyone met at White Cottage to say farewell, with The Sprouts heading further north to Darlington. Then Ben and Lola joined Captain Caveman’s parents for the long journey back to London. By midday I was back on the laptop while under a blanket on the sofa, trying to keep warm. We walked across to the Queen’s Head pub for lunch where we shared a very good pizza and had a pint each for a total of £30 before calling at the local shop to see what we could get to cook for dinner. We bought pork sausages, an onion, a carrot and some crisps for £8 and Captain Caveman decided he would make a sausage casserole with the leftover tomatoes from breakfast.
While Captain Caveman got to work in the kitchen, I carried on with some work. When I finished and the slow cooker had done it’s magic, we opened the bottle of wine left by the owner and ate our lovely dinner. Tomorrow we had more excitement planned as we were meeting up with 2 lots of friends, both who I’d originally met in Phong Nha.
Captain Caveman’s cousin, Hugh, was marrying his girlfriend of 10 years, Maddi, on the afternoon of Saturday 13th July at Askham Hall, near Penrith. After a great night’s sleep at White Cottage, Captain Caveman got up to make me a cup of Yorkshire tea and start on breakfast. I was glad of the duvet and extra cover as it had been pretty cold in the night so I was reluctant to get out of bed. After a lovely hot shower, which I had started to get used to them being hot and powerful in England, I went downstairs. Captain Caveman had made a full English for me, him, Ben & Lola and it was lovely. Lola and I chatted about what we were going to wear as neither of us had brought warm clothing and it was cold and a bit rainy outside. Captain Caveman hadn’t told me that the theme was summery or flowery, obviously I had never seen an invite! Our cosy cottage supplied fleecy tartan blankets on the sofa so Lola read her book under one and I did a couple of hours of work under another. Anna and Captain Caveman’s dad had both said they would be over early to iron their outfits but by 12 noon they hadn’t arrived. I tried on all dresses available to me, including my new ones but in the end, after getting 4 ‘nos’ from Captain Caveman, Ben and Lola, I wore one I had for when I’m in back in Turkey. When The Sprouts did arrive we got a few photos of some of us. I even attempted a family photo outside the cottage despite it drizzling and me shivering a bit. We walked to the venue, it was probably only 15°C and we hoped it didn’t rain too much as none of us had an umbrella.
There was a bit of milling about as we were early and Captain Caveman isn’t good at introducing me to anyone. I sussed out the mother of the groom and said hello, she was wearing a lovely green dress and was with her husband, Paul, who I recognised from Aunty Marge’s funeral. Luckily we got to wish cousin Hugh luck and all the best, just before the ceremony. He looked very smart and my dress matched the pattern on his tie which reassured me I’d fitted the theme, after all. By 1.55pm we were all waiting for the bride, it was time for the wedding!
I had not yet met Maddi and she looked really stunning as she walked down the aisle. The service went well and was fairly amusing from the quite jocular wedding officiant. We were asked not to take any photos so I managed to make the whole day without taking one photo of the happy couple. After the ceremony, there was Pimm’s or beer and we were gathered on the garden for a group photo. We also got to chuck rose petal confetti on to the beautiful newlyweds, which was great. I managed to get a few photos of some of the family messing about and everyone was really happy. The canapes and champagne were very nice, then it was time to go back in to the hall for the wedding breakfast and speeches. We all were given a pair of sunglasses with our names on which we popped on as Hugh and Maddi came in to the room to a song from the musical, Greece.
The sit down dinner was lovely, we had a Turkish style köfte with salad and pitta for starters, lamb or veggie option for main and sticky toffee pudding for pud. I don’t like lamb or mashed potatoes so Captain Caveman went to ask if there were any spare veggie mains for me to swap. There was and it’s probably one of the nicest meals I’ve had in a long while; miso flavoured baked aubergine with roasted peppers, edamame beans and broccolini – amazing! The wine was provided too and we toasted lots of very funny speeches. Captain Caveman had chosen well with an extra wedding gift of Vietnamese coffee and phin cups for the happy couple. They both share a massive love of coffee and had even named their guests’ tables after their favourite coffee shops. We were given word puzzles on the table which Captain Caveman was keen to do and I helped. After dinner, we went in to another area for a hot beverage and were given a lovely piece of fudge. Captain Caveman and I continued with the wine from the table and then it was time for the live band. By this time Captain Caveman was flagging a bit as he was still on Vietnamese bed times. At 10pm pizzas were brought out so we had a couple of slices, they were really good. After a couple of glasses of water to try to keep Captain Caveman and I awake, we decided to walk back to White Cottage having had a lovely day.
Photo credit: Captain Caveman and the wedding photographer
On Friday 12th July the Turkish lira was now up to 42.7 to the pound, the highest I’d known it. We had to strip our bed and put fresh bedding on as Captain Caveman’s middle brother and his niece would be coming back down to London with their parents after the wedding weekend. Captain Caveman and I had a bit of an adventure planned until he returned next Friday. Captain Caveman ended up with feathers all over from the pillows and then was sneezing. I picked them all up by hand as best I could and then we packed our stuff for the long drive from London to Penrith. Breakfast was another family affair where I had tea, toast and cereal. Captain Caveman made sandwiches for the journey and the parents car set off before The Sprouts. I took a travel sickness pill, the expensive ones and I didn’t see anything until I woke up near the Birmingham toll. We had a stop at the services along the way and we ate our butties outside. When we eventually arrived in Penrith Captain Caveman and I were dropped off at White Cottage in Askham, where we were staying with Ben and Lola. Captain Caveman’s parents were staying at the Punch Bowl pub nearby and The Sprouts were staying at an Airbnb in Penrith. That evening, all 11 of us dined at The Punch Bowl together and the food was extremely good. I had steak pie with chips, gravy and extra veg instead of peas. I also had a pint of cider and 2 glasses of red wine. A few people had desserts but Captain Caveman and I shared a lovely cheese board. I was already on 195 syns for the week and we had the wedding tomorrow plus an extra night in Askham for Captain Caveman and I. I was quite glad that there were no scales around.
On Tuesday 9th July I got up early and positioned myself at the desk in our bedroom. I rattled through some work while Captain Caveman played Bridge on his phone, his Mom went to tennis and his Dad was up a ladder pruning some trees. It felt nice to be back but I was a bit nippy and never took my fleece off. At 11am I broke off from work for Captain Caveman to walk me to the Virgin Active gym to meet his Mom. She had very kindly organised a gym pass for me so that we could enjoy a swim, jacuzzi, steam room and sauna together. Captain Caveman handed me over and then went to get the train to Fulham where he was off to the bridge club. On mentioning to his mom that he seemed to be getting rather obsessed with this new hobby of Bridge she put me straight. Apparently, he had been playing it since a child and obviously, he was somewhat of an expert at it! I loved the swimming pool and managed 20 X 25m lengths so I was pleased with that. The best bit was the water jets in the jacuzzi pool which were so good on my left buttock where I’d started to suffer with sciatica on my good leg. It was also really nice to spend time with Captain Caveman’s mom too. Back at home, she and I had some lunch of cheese sandwiches and an apple – easily one of my favourite lunch time meals. The bread was soft granary and there was a selection of cheese. There is nothing better than an English apple with that extra juicy crunch. I resumed work after lunch and then went for a short walk with Captain Caveman. It started to rain so we came home and I booked my flight back to Dalaman. I had decided I would stay until the 11th August and would incorporate a trip down south after I’d been up north. In the afternoon it continued to rain but we still managed a family trip to the local Sun Inn for a cheeky pre dinner pint. I had my first cider in a while and it was so refreshing. Captain Caveman’s Mom cooked a roast chicken with garlic, chips and salad for dinner. It was very tasty and it went down rather well. Just before bed, I noticed a friend from over 12 years ago had written on Facebook to say he was going to be in London tomorrow and was anyone about. Captain Caveman and I were already meeting Clare at Waterloo after she finished work so I sent Shaun a message to see if he wanted to join us.
Wednesday 10th July was weigh day and I should’ve been going to Fat Club, however I was in London and couldn’t. I had consumed 374 syns which was only 6 less than last week and still over 3 times the allocated amount. 156 syns were used on alcohol so the 0.9kg (2lb) weight gain this week was not unexpected. My measurements, however, were a lot more favourable; bust no change, both waist and hips -4cm! I had tea and toast for breakfast which Captain Caveman brought up to the bedroom so I could crack on with work. He was off to the Fulham Bridge Club for the whole day. His parents were off to meet friends for lunch and would probably be out all afternoon. At 12.30pm I broke off for lunch and decided to walk to the post office. My next stop was Marks and Spencer in Barnes where the security guard made me jump by greeting me, very pleasantly and calling me Ma’am. I didn’t even know M&S had security guards!!! I bought a sandwich, some pasta and a loaf of bread for £8.25 which I had to put on card but was served by an actual person this time. Back ‘home’, I ate the food and checked my phone to find I had a complaint from our Dalyan tenant. They had not seen the pool and garden man since they had arrived, 3 days ago, there was also no sign of the new hose which each of the 10 property owners had been charged £10 for so had cost us £100 in total! The tenant had told me she had cleaned the pool herself and then found some chemicals with the lid off that she was concerned for the kids around there. I messaged the maintenance company who told me they were there this morning and had been speaking to my neighbours. He said he didn’t get what my problem was and would be back there in 30 minutes. I messaged the tenant and told her to meet him. In a mood, the only thing to cheer me up was the frog toilet roll holder at Captain Caveman’s parents’ house, it is so cute! I went back to work knowing I needed to finish by 4pm to meet Captain Caveman, Clare and my old friend Shaun in Waterloo. Captain Caveman had told me the directions but that meant nothing to me, I got lost on the way to Barnes station as I followed the road sign, which apparently pointed the wrong way. Captain Caveman didn’t answer his phone or read his messages because he was at Bridge Club so I had to follow people with wheely suitcases along the road, in the hope they were going to the train station. Luckily, they were and I got on the train, which was absolutely rammed and people were squeezing themselves in the doors but they weren’t closing. There were delays as people wouldn’t move to let the doors close and I stood near the toilet trying not to feel claustrophobic. I got an update message from the tenant and the garden guy, they had exchanged phone numbers and she had given him what for – there is no messing with her! The maintenance guy, once again, agreed to go daily and had said he’d been told by one of the other residents that he couldn’t go in the mornings – what!? She had told him that was bullshit and to bloody get on with it! Luckily, I had set off early as, at Waterloo, I couldn’t find the King’s Arms and went the wrong way. Captain Caveman had to come out and get me and walk me back to the rather busy pub. I had a lovely pint of cider, Captain Caveman had a pint of IPA and I didn’t notice the cost. Clare arrived and she looked so lovely, I think she may even have lost a bit of weight since I saw her just shy of a year ago. I had another pint of cider, Captain Caveman had another IPA and Clare had a white wine spritzer which I think the round came to about £22. Shaun joined us shortly after and also chose cider and we enjoyed a bit of reminiscing. He fitted in ever so well with the 2 others, considering they had never met, but we had to keep our eye on the time as Clare was getting the train back to Southampton. It turned out that I had wrongly believed that Shaun had left Norwich Union when he moved to Capita to then go to KPMG. I had it completely wrong as he didn’t go there but he had moved to Suffolk. I also let him know that I once mislead people on a conference call when I had to leave exactly on time to sell my French Horn. Everyone had misheard that I was rushing off to sell my Friend Shaun – you can see how the confusion may have arose. We had one more drink after Clare left the King’s Arms but then Captain Caveman got peckish. He’d located a restaurant not too far away called Flat Iron and the 3 of us went there. The food was amazing, I had one of the best steaks I’d had in a while and we shared some sides including mac n cheese and creamed spinach. I was very impressed with prices and service. The steaks (we all had the same) were £14.50 and were fantastic, the sides were all £5.50 each and weren’t massive but they were delicious. We also had a lovely bottle of wine, the bottles of red wine ranged from £22 to £39 but I can’t remember which one Captain Caveman chose. After our mains, we got given a tiny silver cleaver at the end of the meal. This was a token to be redeemed for an ice-cream at the counter on the way out. Captain Caveman and I are not fans of ice-cream and weren’t going to bother but it was free. I’m so glad we did as they were so good and really finished off a lovely evening. We said our goodbyes to my Friend Shaun around 10.30pm, it was a school night after all and he had work meetings in the morning. We didn’t get back to Barnes until 11.30pm and it was very cold on the way back. Captain Caveman also fell asleep on the train and we were both a bit squiffy. I had been using my Turkish bank card as an Oyster card and today’s transport had cost me 304.98 lira (£7.26).
On Thursday 11th July I had tea and toast in bed then cracked on with work. Captain Caveman pottered about a little, as did his Dad while his Mom was at tennis. Some news came in mid morning that some family plans had changed so The Sprouts were on their way. I was working as Captain Caveman was updated that his youngest brother, sister-in-law and 3 nephews were on their way over from Brussels, they were no longer going straight up north as planned. I hadn’t heard their nickname before but it was amusing and obviously very fitting as they live in Brussels and were affectionately called The Sprouts. We had meant to be meeting them at the wedding in Penrith but they were going to stay in Barnes tonight instead. Tomorrow The Sprouts and the rest of us would drive up there and meet the other brother and Captain Caveman’s only niece. Captain Caveman popped to the shop to get some travel sickness pills for me which cost £7.59 so had better be good. When Captain Caveman’s Mom returned from tennis it was all systems go while she made all the practicalities happen for putting up the 5 extra guests tonight. We had lunch of quiche available which I’m normally not a fan of so I had a cheese sandwich but I did try the 2 different quiches to find the feta and spinach one was rather good. I carried on working in the afternoon until The Sprouts arrived only stopping for a quick walk to the shop for travel provisions. At Morrisons we bought a lucozade, midget gems, tic-tacs and a twirl chocolate bar for £5.70. back at home, we all sat in the garden with wine and nibbles and had a catch up in what was actually quite a sunny spell. The kids found the cherries were almost ready and ate a few but they were still a little sour. That evening, we were spoiled with a feast for the whole 9 of us; there was a ham joint, potatoes, carrots with a white sauce, broccoli and green beans and it was an absolute delight. It was lovely to sit at the table for a family meal together as it’s a rare event for Captain Caveman. The excitement must’ve got to him though, as once on the sofa he instantly nodded off. We were in bed by 10pm and had the alarm set to get up early for our family road trip up north!
I managed to go without buying any food or drink at Dalaman airport in the early hours of Monday 8th July. I absolutely begrudged paying the ridiculous rip-off prices but with a 2 hour delay to the flight and the AC not being particularly cool due to how crowded it was, it was tough going. By the time I got on the plane, I was thirsty so I bought a cup of tea, a water and one of those vegan snack boxes which had hummus, oatcakes, dried mango and chocolate in. I paid on card and got no receipt but later checked to find it had cost me 345.44 lira (£8.22) so was much cheaper than buying at the airport. The flight went ok but of course, we were later than planned and I was meeting Captain Caveman in London. We were meant to have landed at 3am in Gatwick but at 4.20am we were still in the air, although I could see land. When we landed, I had no working phone but managed to log on to the free WiFi. Captain Caveman had tracked the flight so wouldn’t be waiting the extra 2 hours for me in a 24 hour cafe in Farringdon, where we had arranged to meet. At the airport I was peckish and thirsty again so I went to the shop and here’s what I bought, priced in English pounds;
Marks and Spencer 2 pack of sausage rolls £1.10 1 pack of Salt & Vinegar crisps £1.30 Water £1.65 Total spent £4.05
There were staff stood chatting but not allowed to serve me and I had to scan my own items. This turned out to be a bit of a faff but I did manage to pay with a £50 note, a feat that would prove more and more difficult the further north I went. I made my way to the train station where I managed to buy a £14.40 one way ticket to Farringdon station. Nowhere would allow cash so I had to pay on my Turkish card. I followed explicit instructions from Captain Caveman on how to get the 300m to La Forcetta cafe, including the walk with the Pret a Manger on my left. It turned out that there was quite a few Pret a Manger shops on that stretch but I finally found it. Unfortunately, Captain Caveman’s idea of a 24 hour cafe so that I would have somewhere to go on arrival did not have a toilet and I was busting for a wee. I ordered a cup of tea but the breakfasts weren’t ready to order yet and Captain Caveman had much more pressing issues to deal with. He’d hardly welcomed me when he was insisting on inserting my Giffgaff SIM card in to my phone so that I had credit. He had ordered it to come to his mom’s and all I had to do was top it up with £10 credit. The current exchange rate was 41.9 lira to the pound but my £10 top up took 428.84 lira out of my Turkish account. Finally, we ordered the Full English Breakfast and I was so pleased with the buttered white toast. The breakfast came with chips and lots of baked beans, my bacon was too salty so I gave that, along with my eggs and tomatoes, to Captain Caveman. I did wonder if I was doing the right thing eating it when I needed the toilet and I had an appointment for my passport renewal this morning.
There were so many coffee shops in the area and I really needed the loo so badly, I’d not been since on the plane and it was already 8.20am. I had taken the day off work today as I needed to be at the passport office at 11.50am. Captain Caveman felt certain if we headed to a Macdonald’s there would be a toilet but I was concerned there would be a big Monday morning queue and that we would have to buy something to get a code for the toilet door first. MacDonald’s didn’t have a toilet so we nipped in to a nearby Cafe Nero and Captain Caveman got himself a second breakfast of juice and a croissant. I didn’t ask how much it cost but those places aren’t cheap. Our next stop was a walk through Bloomsbury and on to a Wetherspoons where Captain Caveman left me with the bags while he ran errands. I was delighted with a hot beverage refill for only £1.56 a cup and proceeded to have 3 hot chocolates and an earl grey tea plus 2 more toilet visits – bargain. This would not be my first visit to a Wetherspoons and I was rather impressed with this one. We walked to the train and went a few stops to the passport office at Warehouse K and it has The Fox pub almost next door. I left Captain Caveman having a pint of Guinness while I went for my appointment. The queue to go in was only about 10 minutes and that was the longest part of the whole thing. I was a total of 15 minutes and I had my new passport. I wasn’t impressed that the passports aren’t as firm as the old ones and they feel rather flimsy but, for an outrageous £220, I now had my new extra pages passport and could travel abroad again. I got myself a Guinness which was £6.75 and thought that would equate to about 280 lira if I was in Dalyan. In the afternoon we went to an Indian restaurant which was rammed full. Captain Caveman got us a tali to share but I could barely eat any of the mains due to the chillies. I ate bread and rice then we left to wander through a strange exhibition with butterflies before getting the train to Barnes. I got a lovely welcome from Captain Caveman’s parents who I probably hadn’t seen for about 4 or 5 years. They hadn’t changed a bit. It was 3pm and I hadn’t slept since Saturday night so I had a little nap before dinner. Captain Caveman’s Ma made a lovely risotto for dinner and we had a glass or 2 of wine with it. At bedtime I unpacked and Captain Caveman had bought a lightweight down jacket from Uniqlo which he said I could have when he left. London felt extremely cold to me but it probably wasn’t too bad – passengers had been wearing coats and jeans at Barnes station though. The bed was super comfy and I think I fell asleep immediately!
I went over to Captain Caveman’s apartment on the morning of Saturday 6th July, so that I could see the maintenance company in action. I knew they wouldn’t be there and that the garden area still wouldn’t have been done and I was now fed up. The tenants would arrive back this weekend and wanted to meet up with me before I went to the airport tomorrow night. I felt sure they would want to move out because of the complex grounds not being maintained well enough. Captain Caveman was in Saigon but would be flying to London from midnight tonight. My friend, who had kindly given me a lift, had come round to look and also agreed our gardener was not telling me the truth – nothing had been touched since my visit yesterday. My friend and I got the bus to Ortaca and I was in a bit of a mood about the garden situation. Apart from buying a brush, a hose and some other tools to do it myself, I didn’t know what else to do. I messaged the maintenance man and said I was sick of it and wanted to meet him tomorrow. I also let the agent know so they could try harder to get something done before the tenants arrived tonight.
We got off the bus at the Ortaca bus station and walked a short way to a clothes shop which ladies from the moonlight boat trip had recommended to me. They had lots of choices and I tried loads on with my friend being honest on what looked good and what didn’t. In the end, I had narrowed it down to a red shirt dress, a burgundy long dress, a bright dress for boat trips and a patterned one for the family wedding. The 4 dresses came to not much more than the dress which I almost bought in Köyceğiz at a total of 1,500 lira (£36) and I was very impressed with the shop and could easily have bought more. We called at the Gratis pharmacy where I bought a Dove deodorant stick for a whopping 199.50 lira (£4.78) as I had almost run out. I prefer the solid sticks as you can use them on thighs and under boobs to prevent any chafing. We had a bit of a walk around Ortaca and managed to get lost but found a nice stream and some columns which looked to be old and part of the Lycian way. It was very hot and I wish I’d brought sun cream as we walked past the hospital and a closed antique shop. We decided to stop at Cafe Deryası for lunch where we both had a water, a juice and Turkish ravioli (mantı). The lunch was really good and I would definitely go there again. It cost 390 lira (£9.35) each so it wasn’t cheap but we thoroughly enjoyed it.
Both my friend and I had to get back to work so we got the bus back, it was hot and sweaty but at least we had a seat. As it was my last night staying at my friend’s we decided to have our dinner with wine on the roof terrace. We decided to call at the supermarket for some bits and have a little picnic style dinner. Here’s what I bought for my contribution with prices in lira;
Şevikoğlu Supermarket Crackers 34.90 Salt & Vinegar crisps 35.00 Peanuts 84.90 2 bottles of Cumbuş red wine 199.80 Total spent 354.60 lira (£8.50)
I also brought cheese, brownies and some cherries that I already had in the fridge. It was such a lovely evening and we stayed out there until it went dark.
I was in a bit of a rush on Sunday 7th July to fit everything in. I didn’t have anything for breakfast but I did do some washing and packing. I worked all morning and then had a lift in to town to drop my stuff off at Jamie’s. We went for a last meal together at Kefal tea gardens where I had a cheeseburger and 2 lemon sodas for a total of 160 lira (£3.84). While we were there we saw a turtle, 2 snakes and lots of fish which was amazing.
Watersnake
Watersnake
The turtle
The turtle and the watersnake
After, I was dropped back at Jamie’s so I could check on the dogs, as Jamie was out, and repack all my stuff. My flight was after midnight tonight and I only had the smallest easyJet hand luggage to fit all my stuff in to. It was a squeeze with my laptop and I was sad to leave my toiletries behind. I had a little sit down on the sofa with Norman and Edna only to fall asleep for about 3 hours. In the meantime, Captain Caveman had arrived in London and was heading to his parents’ house in Barnes. I went to Ela’s Kitchen to say hello to Nicola and Sev, bumped in to Melanie and Gareth and had a big bottle of water before going back towards town. Later on, I decided to have a rosé wine and soda in Grandma’s Garden and enquired how much their rooms were per night for next month. It was out of my price range unfortunately but the owners seemed very nice. I called at the bank to withdraw some money as I was meeting the tenants and Jamie for a drink at Lukka later and then I decided I was hungry so I called at one of my favourite restaurants.
It was quiet at Duble as I was early and I asked for the chicken soup as a starter, a large bottle of water and then for main I chose the chicken and mushroom pasta to be made without chicken. The food was lovely, especially the soup but I did notice that the prices had definitely gone up a bit and my mushroom pasta was still the same price as the chicken one. The water was only 55 lira, the chicken soup was 120 lira and the mushroom pasta 350 lira. My total meal came to 525 lira (£12.59) which was more expensive than I’d expected but it was rather tasty. Luckily, it did mean I had 500 lira (£12) left to get me a drink at Lukka and for any emergency at Dalaman airport. I arrived before Jamie and the dogs and introduced myself to our tenants. They ordered proper drinks for them but I just ordered a soda water to keep it cheap. They were very nice people and we had a bit of a laugh as well as discussing concerns that were all to do with our pool and garden company. Jamie was taking me to the airport so he wasn’t drinking either so when it came to pay, I said I’d get Jamie’s. Unfortunately, the bill came all 4 of us together and we decided to split it, although I put in 500 lira (£12) for mine and Jamie’s drinks, but it wasn’t enough and Jamie had to add more for our half. I hoped my flight wasn’t delayed as I now didn’t have spare cash to get anything at the airport. Norman and Edna came to the airport with us and it was a first for me to say bye to pets at Dalaman. I said bye to Jamie and the flight was still as scheduled. The queue to check in was huge and it took a while, the man behind me got quite shitty about the special assistance queue having so many people in the entourage of the disabled person – one wheelchair user got a group of 14 checked in together and he nearly lost it. Once through security, chaos ensued and my flight was delayed by 2 hours.
By the time I woke up on Thursday 4th July, my parents had already left for the airport so I didn’t get to go and wave them off. Ordinarily, this would not have happened but given that I would see them in 13 days time none of us were upset about it. I had tea and toast for breakfast then got my stuff packed to move accommodation. I worked in the morning and then ate the rest of the blueberries for lunch, sharing them with Norman and Edna. Blueberries are meant to be good for dogs so Edna wolfed them down, Norman was yet to be convinced. I left some stuff at Jamie’s, including my laptop, as I was off on a moonlight boat trip that afternoon. It was another one of the ‘Ladies only’ ones that I had helped to organise with a friend. We boarded Captain Fuat’s Adil boat around 4pm, bound for Köyceğiz. As we were setting off, one of the ladies went to the shop with the Captain to buy a last minute purchase and then it was time to go. Captain Fuat shared some fruits from his garden, the fresh figs were amazing, as well as a delicious cake made my his daughter. We had a mooch around Köyceğiz where I tried on a dress for a forthcoming wedding in Penrith. It was a nicely fitting, off the shoulder, green and flowery number but I noticed it was coming apart at the seams a little. It was also 1200 lira (£28.92) so I decided it was out of my budget. We all left the shop and I was the last one to go, as I was leaving the older lady of the shop started to turn angry with me and accused me of ripping the poorly sewn garment. I walked out without saying anything and decided I wouldn’t be going in that shop again. Back on the boat, we had a very lovely evening with more excellent food including hot chips after our first swim stop, courgette fritters and chicken nuggets to nibble on before dinner. One of the ladies had sold her parents’ house and wanted to share with us her good news so she had bought a couple of bottles of fizz for us all. I had a couple of glasses of rosé wine with a couple of the other ladies but I noticed most of the women weren’t drinking much, if at all – it was very civilised. Not everyone swam but a friend and I went a few times round the boat and the sunset was amazing. We had a delicious tomato based soup as a starter and then the main course which was a mixture of dishes to accommodate meat eaters and vegetarians. I really enjoyed it and the evening was finished off with fizz/rosé and stargazing which was very relaxing. We didn’t get back until almost midnight after what had been an amazing moonlight boat trip. The cost was £30 (1,250 lira) and Captain Fuat always looks after us very well.
I was up very early on Friday 5th July as I needed to walk over to Jamie’s to say bye to Drew, Nick and Mark before work. They were off back to the UK after a lovely holiday/stay. I called at Migros to buy a thank you bottle of wine for Jamie and I grabbed some noodles which were on offer. I spent just 337.90 lira (£8.10) and I even got Angora wine for that. I needed to get my laptop and a few things I’d not taken on the boat with me last night. It was only 24°C at 7am but there was an excessive heat weather warning for later and I also wanted to check Captain Caveman’s apartment complex again. I had been told by the pool and maintenance bloke that they had worked there this morning so I was going to inspect. When I arrived, it was less than satisfactory and obvious that no one had been that morning, or even in the last few days. Dead plants, dried leaves and generally weeds needing sorting which were easy and obvious jobs. I wasn’t happy and I messaged the maintenance man, who once again told me that they had been this morning. He blamed it on not having a hose and that there was nothing he could do as all 10 apartments needed to give him money for a hose. I told him to go buy one and I would pay and I didn’t hear back, only to say he had ordered one. I checked on Trendyol and the most expensive one was not more than 2000 lira (£47.96) and I just wanted the place clean and tidy for our guests – it was proving far too much to ask for. I sent the pool and garden man photos as I was stood there and he said that he also had photos from his brother and that it didn’t look the same – how dare they call me a liar! I suspected his workers were either tired, lazy or lying and so he promised me he would personally check every day – he had already promised this several times so I didn’t hold my breath! I also let the rental agent know but she was on holiday and the guy left in charge wasn’t able to get through to the maintenance company either. It was a joke and I really wished we’d never agreed to rent the place out. The ironic thing is that Captain Caveman and I had never agreed to this maintenance company but we had been told we were outvoted. The Aussies downstairs had not experienced any complaints from their tenants (of which they had several different customers) so it was unfortunate that only my tenants were being affected. Because of all the faffing about, I wasn’t back ‘in the office’ until 11am, having picked up a bottle of water and a couple of simits for a bargain total of 31 lira (74p). I worked all day then had a video chat with Captain Caveman, he was flying from Dong Hoi to Saigon tomorrow to start his journey back to the UK for his holiday. In the evening I headed to the tea gardens for dinner with my my new house mate. We had sandwiches and soft drinks followed by an ice-cream for a total of 400 lira (£9.64). The place was very busy but there was a lovely breeze and the staff were very efficient. We went back home and arranged to get up early to go to Ortaca before work tomorrow.
Wednesday 3rd July was a lovely day for me in Dalyan. Jamie and the boys were still celebrating Mark’s birthday so I gave the dogs their breakfast and made sure they had their wees and poos before it got too hot. I also took my measurements in readiness for weigh-in at Fat Club this afternoon. I had put 5cm on my waist and hips but there was no change to my bust. This was not good news and would definitely mean I had put weight on too. I had strawberries, olives and a simit for breakfast then cracked on with some work on the patio. Midmorning I popped to the shops for some essentials;
Migros Supermarket Quark 29.95 Skimmed milk 37.95 Soda water 40.00 Total spent 107.90 lira (£2.60)
I called at the bank to deposit cash (English and Lira) so that my total amount was met for July in regard to the residency rules. I worked more until it was time to face Carol’s scales at Fat Club. After 17 weeks away and without my own kitchen I knew I should not expect miracles but I was certainly hoping I’d managed not to put too much weight back on. I was pleased to see I had only put 0.1kg (0.2lb) on since last week and just a total of 1.4kg (3lb) in the time I’d been away from Dalyan. My last Dalyan Fat Club weigh-in had been at the beginning of March and now I was just 2.1kg (4.6lb) over my target. That wasn’t too bad, although I was off to the UK in 5 days time so I couldn’t see it being easy to stick to the plan there. At Jamie’s, the guys were back and we were booked in to celebrate Mark’s birthday with a fancy meal out at Le Bohème that evening. I had to close up my outdoor office as the wine was being poured and the guys were having a dip in the pool. Nanny Kay and Hannah joined us at the villa for a cheeky pre dinner drink. When we arrived at the venue, there was a lady outside having some sort of allergic reaction which Mark and Hannah went to help with while ex nurse Nanny Kay and I swerved the situation and went on inside.
Le Bohème was very nice and we had a lovely table where Emma and Yusuf were already waiting for us. We shared the beautifully presented mixed mezes for a starter and had some white wine between a few of us. For main I chose the chicken with halloumi, spinach and potatoes and it was really tasty. I was thoroughly impressed with all the food, the service and the ambience of Le Bohème. I think my share of the meal came to about 1600 lira (£38.55), including thirds on 2 bottles of good wine. It was more expensive than where I usually eat but not extortionate for what we had and I would certainly recommend for a special occasion or treat. After the meal some of us went to Aşkın’s bar for another drink and to round off the lovely evening. A round of 3 drinks came to a reasonable 450 lira (£10.84) and is definitely one of our go-to bars. Back ‘home’, I was meant to set my alarm for tomorrow as my parents were leaving for the airport at 7am.
On Monday 1st July I did some work first thing and then joined my parents, Adam, Kath & Kate on the yellow boat trip to Köyceğiz. Like an idiot, I forgot to take my phone so there were no photos of the day out. Kate and I headed to the market as soon as we got there while everyone else went for a drink. I bought what I would have got from the market in Dalyan on Saturday, if I’d not missed it; strawberries and a bit of veg. At Carrefour, I bought 2 bottles of Prosecco for 720.05 Lira (£17.35) ready for tonight as Jamie and the boys had invited me, and Nanny Kay, for dinner again. For lunch we all ate at Tuana where I had a chicken burger and some lemon soda as I didn’t fancy alcohol, for a change. I nipped to the supermarket on my way back for some treats for the house and bought the following, prices in Turkish Lira;
We had a lovely chilled out evening at Jamie and Drew’s, with lots of laughs and a very tasty chicken salad for dinner. Drew’s homemade croutons were definitely a hit, Nanny Kay’s chocolate brownie with jelly was so good and I really enjoyed the meal.
I woke up early on Tuesday 2nd July and had tea and toast for breakfast. Tomorrow was weigh day and I’d completely gone off track this week with the food and booze. Jamie and the boys were off on a trip for Mark’s birthday, just local, but I was going to spend the day with Norman and Edna. I did some washing and then got on with some work. Edna wanted to help send some emails and got on my knee to get nearer the laptop. By 9am I was in the newly kitted out köşk enjoying the fresh air while I worked. I saw an unusual critter on the table and the temperature shot up to 35°C in the shade. In the afternoon, I attempted to arrange to meet up with our elusive pool and garden man but, unsurprisingly, he wasn’t forthcoming. Our tenants were arriving again in a few days and I was concerned that Captain Caveman’s apartment complex still looked a mess and it was getting very frustrating. I worked some more in the afternoon and in the evening I was meeting my parents for our last meal in Dalyan. They were off to Göcek tomorrow with their friends so I needed to say bye to them tonight. They would fly back to England on Thursday morning but I would see them in Sheffield in July.
After feeding the dogs and watching Norman confidently patrol the property perimeter, I went to call for Ma & Pa. I still needed to see Sonuç to pay hım the £30 (or 1200 lira) that I owed him for the airport pick up when I arrived, so I popped over to his new office. It was very smart and looked good. Our next stop was for a cheeky drink in Cafe Ivy where they do a nice white wine at a reasonable price. For dinner we decided to try Sea Breeze, as we know the owner, Suha, from when he was a waiter at Bistro Blue restaurant. It was the day of a football game that we wanted to avoid so it looked like a nice quiet place to eat. An older waiter took our order and we decided not to have starters. We ordered a bottle of house red wine which was 750 lira (£18) for the cheapest Buzbağ brand. We got a bottle of water to share for 80 lira (£1.93) and we all had a steak. My parents had onion steaks, I had a blue cheese steak and the price was 850 lira (£20.48) each. When it was served, it was presented on wooden boards which I really don’t like so I asked for a spare plate and transferred it over. It’s very common in Dalyan to serve meals on wooden boards but I find it not only looks bad, it’s unhygienic and impractical, especially if having a sauce. This was evidently not the cheapest place in town but the food quality and taste was excellent. We all really enjoyed our dinner but I felt a bit uneasy about the waiter and wondered if he regularly worked there. He asked us to put a review on Trip Advisor before we’d finished and, when he cleared the plates, he ate a leftover vegetable from Dad’s plate. This was the first time this had happened to me ever in any restaurant and it did take me by surprise. I usually do leave reviews but this then put me off doing one and I haven’t bothered. I paid the 3,380 lira (£81.45) on my credit card and Ma gave me cash so I could continue to add money to my Turkish account to keep up the residency requirements. I didn’t think £27 each for a decent meal was too bad and it did include a free appetiser of olives, warm bread and dips. I wanted to get back for Norman and Edna so I invited my parents over for a nightcap. We went to Yaman Büfe off licence on the way and bought a bottle of red and a bottle of white wine for just 590 lira (£14.22) – and we splashed out on Angora. Dad and I shared the red, Mom had some of the white while we had to pretend to give Edna red. I was giving her water from a glass behind my red wine but when she realised we were hoodwinking her, she wasn’t too happy. It was gone 11.30pm when my parents left and we said goodbye – Norman had already fell asleep but Edna came to say farewell, unaware she wouldn’t see them again until September.
I’d planned on going to the weekly Dalyan market on Saturday 29th June, however, I had work to do and it was too hot by the time that I’d finished. For lunch I joined my parents at the Kefal tea garden where I had a lovely chicken sandwich and some lemon soda. After lunch I went over to Captain Caveman’s apartment complex to better inspect the garden so that I could let the pool and maintenance company know that I wasn’t happy with the lack of work being done. Back at Jamie’s villa, Norman and Edna had been in the pool with the boys and were trying to keep cool. I had a shower and then got ready for a dinner at ‘home’. I’d been invited to dine al fresco with Jamie, Drew, Nick & Mark and we had a delicious chicken pesto pasta dish with garlic bread. I’d drank too much yesterday so I kept it to just one glass of wine with dinner and then retired for an early night. I still wasn’t caught up on sleep from missing a night of it when I came from Vietnam.
I worked all morning and until 2pm on Sunday 30th June before heading off to meet Kate at the bus station. Kate had suggested we go to Günlüklu restaurant for lunch, where she’d been told there was some music on. It sounded good and it was too hot to walk so we got the bus. Kate and I had totally got the wrong end of the stick where the music was concerned as it wasn’t even in the restaurant part. There was a small copse in the nearby woods where a stage area had been made, ready for a bit of an afternoon shindig but we had already ordered shandies and food. Kate and I shared haydari, fava bean dip and bread with our beers and it was rather delicious. After eating, we walked to the area where we had seen a few familiar faces taking cooler boxes and fold-up chairs to see what we were missing. On first look we both agreed the gathering wasn’t for us today, it was already getting late and no musicians had started playing yet. Kate was wearing an all in one outfit which would not be conducive to peeing behind a tree, if needed either. We said hello to a few friends, walked to the underwhelming water wheel then left. I had to get back to feed Norman and Edna as the boys were on a day trip and wouldn’t be back until later. In the evening I finally got round to booking my appointment and paying £219.50 for a UK passport express renewal service. I had an appointment at the Passport office in London in 8 days! It was expensive but I wanted a guarantee it would be completed and in my hand the same day.
On Friday 28th June my parents and I had quite an adventure. Ma & Pa had booked the 3 of us on a Captain Boris boat trip for the day and I was so looking forward to it. I woke up at 6am feeling happy to have the temperature cooler than I was used to in Vietnam. By 8am it was still under 30°C outside but it was definitely getting hotter as I left for our day on the boat. Captain Boris is one of the more luxurious boat trips with exceptional food, hosted by the lovely Rebecca & Basrı. The cost was £40 per person and included a massive lunch with lots of different dishes. Rebecca was a bit miffed that they had 2 lots of bookings today and she had to go on the second boat, leaving 16 of us in the safe hands of Basrı and Anıl. We headed out to sea and, although there were parts where the sandbanks were high, we got through. The sea was very rough and I was glad I’d taken a precautionary sea sickness tablet, as did one other passenger. After we got to a nice calm bay we had a swim stop and there were crisps and dips to help ourselves to. A BBQ and full buffet (including prawns) was served for lunch just after 1pm and it was absolutely amazing. The prawns and the chicken casserole were definitely my 2 favourite dishes. Ma & Pa stuck to beers but I had rose wine and we were all having a great time with a fantastic bunch of random people. Just before 3pm, there was a bit of a disaster when something happened to the engine and the Captain instantly called May Day on the walkie talkie. I looked over the side and there seemed to be a fire or something causing a lot of smoke – it didn’t look good and we were out at sea in very choppy waves.
The food was fantastic
Short video of the boat
Captain Boris had to arrange for us to be rescued from our boat trip after we tried to get a tow but the waves were strong and Basrı needed to get out weight off this boat. Already he had neighbouring boats helping, including Princess of Ekincik who we were on last night and a cooperative, smaller boat. It became essential that we were going to have to climb over from our boat to the rescue one while bobbing about. I started to feel a bit worried for my parents; my mom has a dodgy leg and my Dad’s eyesight isn’t great. To be honest, I wasn’t sure my balancing skills stretched to straggling 2 boats of different heights while at sea. It was a bit of a to-do but we all made it – with all our bags! Boris and Anıl kept calm and efficient during the mini crisis and they got us all on to the cooperative boat safely. We got took off to the beach to wait for Captain Boris to get sorted out but unfortunately, we had forgotten to bring our shoes. Ma braved a walk to the toilet on the beach but the floor was red hot so I didn’t attempt it. By 5pm we had been rescued and were back on Boris’s Boat, the way we had got on but in less choppy waters. We saw yellow boat and also another Captain, Simon, who came by paddle board to say hello. We got towed to Magic Lake and Basrı insisted on a free bar to apologise and, of course, Dad and I made good use of this to help encourage other guests (a couple were first timers). We were meant to be back by 5pm but it was more like 6.45pm when we got off the boat. My Dad was on a mission to carry on the night but my Mom was insisting he’d had enough so we all went home.
Of course, Dalyan wouldn’t be Dalyan without a bit of drama and it turned out neither my parents nor I would stay in that evening. When I arrived back at Jamie’s, the 4 fellas (Jamie, Drew, Nick & Mark) were waiting for me to join them for a drink at Lukka bar. It was their Friday music bingo night and the boys were booked in for food. My parents had a shower and Dad decided they were going to meet up with other Dalyan Dwellers in Tapa and Tez bars. After a shower and change for me, I joined the guys for Lukka music bingo and it was brilliant. I had some cheesy chips and some wine, to see me through, I had a good boogie and a sing to the first half of the bingo. At the interval, Jamie had decided we were moving on to Sofra bar to enjoy the rest of the night but Mark and I decided to stay a bit longer to hear Joseph sing Sweet Dreams and have a sing-along to the start of the second half. At Sofra bar the rest of the gang had met up with some of the regular characters and were having a good time. I nursed a pint of beer for the rest of the evening as I’d overdone it but I managed to have a go on the karaoke and probably did a bad Adele or something. I bumped in to Jack, Stan and Nigel and I enjoyed watching Jack perform one of my old favourites, Psycho Killer. It was gone 1am when we finally went home and it was a good job I was working flexible hours for tomorrow.
joloyolo 