On Tuesday 26th March I was taking the 7am bus from Phong Nha to Hoi An, where I was meeting up with an old friend. Caroline had kindly invited me to stay with her and her dog, Vee, near the An Bang beach area of Hoi An. Captain Caveman had booked me a cheap hotel for the first night, just so that I had somewhere definite and then I could move to Caroline’s one bedroom apartment the next day, until Sunday, when I was off to Danang.
I always have a bad stomach whenever I need to travel and I was not looking forward to the journey, one bit. I was due to arrive in Hoi An at 3pm, 8 hours later, on a sleeper bus with no toilet. At 6.30am, Captain Caveman was still in the room, finishing off showering so he said to go and he would catch me up to wave me off in town. Mr Diep Le drove me on his motorbike to the bus and I had to remind him where the Hanh Luyen bus company office was. The bus was already there, I still didn’t have a working phone so I tried to message Captain Caveman using free WiFi nearby to tell him I was already on board and ready to depart. The buses often claim they have WiFi but don’t give out the password or say it’s not working. I was a bit sad that I wouldn’t get to say goodbye or wish him well for his forthcoming Saigon Children’s Charity bicycle ride.
I got comfy in my seat with a neck pillow and my rucksack with me. I never put anything I don’t have to, in the luggage boot as I’ve heard of it ‘going missing’ before. The driver never lets westerners take seats near the front and often bully us white people in to the back seats. I knew this so chose one about halfway back behind the driver. There are 3 rows and all the seats recline in to beds and have a pillow and storage for shoes, which you have to take off. We set off and turned around to pick up more people along the way. The last pick up in Phong Nha was at Tree House, where Captain Caveman was stood to say bye. I got back off the bus and gave him a hug and a kiss, he would next see me at the cycle event finish line in Danang (if I could find it in time, this year).
I did manage to get some sleep, a drowsy type antihistamine (for my mozzie bites) helped. However, at 11.30am we had a bit of an issue; we were just outside Hue when we got a flat tyre. It was incredibly hot but the bus pulled in to a petrol station with toilets. All of us westerners got off and some of the Vietnamese stayed sleeping on the bus. The toilets weren’t the best squat toilets I’ve seen but they definitely weren’t the worst and I had tissues with me and they had soap! Some passengers tried to buy refreshments at the petrol station but it wasn’t that type where there was a shop. They had a chest fridge, no water, and just some random drinks like birds nest soup in a can or Super Horse energy drink.
I ate 2 apples and drank 0.5 litre of my water (brought with me from the hotel) then got talking to a Dutch and an Australian passenger. Between us, we decided the bus was going nowhere and in the relentless heat it was getting uncomfortable. We decided to order a Grab taxi to take us to Hoi An. It would cost us about 2,000,000VND (£63) between 4 of us which was the price of the whole bus journey each again. It was also only the price of a bottle of wine and, while Captain Caveman had given me some spending money, I was willing to blow it on a taxi. I got my bag off the bus which, by now, was a sweat box with Vietnamese passengers still in there and the engine off.
The taxi arrived and the bus driver came over to say we shouldn’t go as the repair mechanic was on his way and we would be ready to go within the hour. They were quite insistent and obviously didn’t want a complaint or to have to refund (neither of which we were bothered about). We reluctantly agreed and the taxis took the passengers who were destined for Hue, close by.
By 12.24pm the mechanic had arrived and, rather impressively, jacked up the bus and changed the tyre.
At 1pm we were all back on the oven temperature bus, begging for the AC to blast on, as we carried on our journey.

At just after 3pm, already a couple of hours late, but having got there sooner than I thought we would, we arrived in Danang bus station. This is where anyone for Hoi An was meant to change on to that bus. I went to get off and there were lots of shouty taxi drivers crowding my exit asking if I wanted a taxi. When I put my Vietnamese porter sandals on to the floor to put back on, they all looked at me and I said ‘Quang Binh’, which is the Province of Phong Nha. They retreated to give me more space, looked impressed that I had the army shoes and stopped hassling me. Of course, the Hoi An bus connection had already been missed so a taxi had been arranged for me, the Dutch girl and 2 Australian ladies. We were escorted in to the car and told to wait a few minutes. After 10 minutes of waiting and a local driver giving us some Banh Ep (a cracker type snack) with his dirty hands and a fag on, we were still not moving.
We ended up waiting for another passenger, which the driver lied to us about. We were told it was a passenger who had been forgotten so we were patient and felt sorry for them. The girl arrived, looking fresh, and had come from Phong Nha on the 9am bus, with no issues at all. We should have took the taxi when we had the chance. The driver took all of our individual hotel addresses and said he would drop each of us off. I was dubious about that and said I wanted dropping off at the Hoi An bus station. Captain Caveman had specifically booked my hotel within walking distance of the bus station and marked it on my maps to be able to use offline. We drove almost an hour to Hoi An and the driver dropped me first. It wasn’t at the actual bus station and I didn’t have a working phone to know where I was so I took a photo of the Dutch girl’s phone. Then the driver decided he wanted to charge each of the other passengers  50,000VND (£1.58) to continue to their respective hotels. The Aussie ladies got out and said no at first but then realised another Grab would be more. I left and started walking in a direction I thought might be the right one. I passed a Gioi Di Dong phone shop and realised I might be able to get a SIM card so turned back. Around 4.30pm I had paid for my SIM and given my passport and all was going well until the staff member took my photo. Once again, many attempts were made but my photographed face did not match my passport face so they were unable to give me a SIM card. They returned my passport, refunded me the money and pointed me in the direction of Hai Ba Trung street, where I was staying. When I arrived at Hoi An Old Town Hostel at 5.40pm, looking like I’d been through the mill quite a bit, the receptionist upgraded me to a lovely room with 2 double beds. I got the WiFi password and, of course, had messages from Captain Caveman and Caroline wondering where I’d got to. After a quick call to both and the fastest shower ever, I was back outside the hotel ready to meet my Grab motorbike.

At 6pm Caroline had sent her motorbike Grab driver to get me and he was ready and waiting to take me to meet her at Le Cabanon. It’s one of my favourite restaurants in Hoi An and does some lovely french food and wine. When we arrived the driver gave me a SIM card for free, as he was helping me out. How nice of him! Caroline was excited to see me and looked well. She had already got a bottle of Saint Joseph 2020 red wine on the go and so I joined her. It was weigh day tomorrow but I was about to overindulge after not eating all day, aside from 2 apples and a mushroom flavoured cereal bar, so I was hungry. We shared a baked camembert with bread and salad, french sausage and potatoes with mustard and a beef stew. We couldn’t eat it all but we did manage a second bottle of wine. I was conscious of the prices but Caroline had insisted this was her treat, which was very kind. We finished the night with a soda water and she dropped me off at the hotel in a Grab car after a really lovely night. Tomorrow, I would move in to her’s and it was about to be a hectic week!