Captain Caveman was off in to the cave on Friday 16th June and he would be doing 2 tours back to back over the next 8 days. I was looking forward to some quieter, less active days. In 2 weeks time I would be arriving in Rhodes to stay at Steve and Michelle’s house in Lardos. Captain Caveman and I ate left over pizza, from The Villa’s, for breakfast and then I saw him off from Ho Khanh’s homestay. I worked 10am to 7.15pm but with a couple of gaps for breaks. I ate cheese, biscuits, fruit, yoghurt and peanuts and after work I had a cheeky can of Huda beer from the fridge then watched Netflix. It felt cooler or was it because I was acclimatising after cycling in sun the last 3 days!?
For a change of scenery on Saturday 17th June, I chose to work from Victory Road Villas. I sat in the AC room of The Villa’s restaurant at the back and decided to go off piste on my breakfast order. I thought I’d try the recommendation from Captain Caveman of Bo Ne (without eggs) which was a little on the pricier side to my usual breakfast. When it came, it was different to what I imagined it to be; instead of sausage it had pâté, which I don’t like and the dish was in lots of tomato sauce, served with cucumber, which I don’t eat either. The bread was also sweet so I didn’t eat it all but I enjoyed the little hone made cookie served with my pot of Jasmine tea. I worked from 10.15am to 1.15pm then ordered an orange juice and some fresh spring rolls with prawns in. Lunch was very tasty and I washed it down with another pot of tea and got back to work. I finished around 4.15pm as I had planned to meet Lucie, who had returned from the new Jungle Boss tour. I had a soda, a lime juice and some peanuts while I waited for Lucie to get ready. Her son, and Lucie’s mom also joined us and we all ate together, we should have ordered a bottle of wine as I had 3 by the glass. The Showstopper pizza was as good as always and we had a lovely evening.
Here’s my bill at The Villa’s restaurant for the whole day;
Bo Ne 170,000 2 pots of jasmine tea 100,000 Fresh orange 60,000 Soda water 25,000 Lime juice 30,000 Fresh prawn spring rolls 100,000 Peanuts 35,000 Showstopper pizza 240,000 3 glasses of wine 270,000 Total 1,030,000vnd Discount of 206,000vnd Total spent 824,000vnd (£27.19)
I cycled home and slept very well that night, having the bed to myself.
A question I often get asked is ‘Don’t you ever learn?’ Judging by my actions on Wednesday 14th June, I think it is fair to say that I don’t . Captain Caveman and I were up early to find that the weather was cloudy and the forecast predicted thunderstorms. I think I may have been over ambitious but I suggested another outing, it was Captain Caveman’s last full day off and I wanted us to make the most of it. I quickly took my measurements after my shower and was surprised that I didn’t ache much from my cycling 23km yesterday. I measured everything and here are the results; Bust -1cm, Waist -1cm, Hips +1cm. I suggested we should visit the Pub with Cold Beer as the owner had been following all my updates on Facebook since I left Vietnam, she’s a lovely woman and I’d missed her family and their place. Captain Caveman offered to drive the motorbike and, looking back, I should have agreed. I said we should cycle because Bluey would miss me when I’m back in Dalyan and it was cloudy. I drank rehydration tablets for my breakfast to keep from having any issues as I’d been getting a bit of cramp. As soon as we got out of the door I had to put on my sun hat as the sun came out! We pretty much did the same route as yesterday but I managed to cycle all the way to the Duck Stop without a break. When we got there Quynh, the owner, gave us a free drink and peanuts – I looked like a beetroot and was beginning to wish we’d gone by motorbike.
Captain Caveman hates it when I moan, in fact he says I complain a lot, so I had no choice but to soldier on. Even Bluey was having trouble and I had to push her up the hill from the Duck Stop until I could get back on for the downhill bit. I arrived at the Pub with Cold Beer in blazing sun, another drippy mess, any sun cream I’d had on had definitely sweated off. Nhat and her daughters were so pleased to see us, they got Captain Caveman a cold beer and me a water straight away. We decided to order chicken, pork, rice and morning glory because we hoped our friends, Chung and Uy, would join us. While Nhat killed a chicken and I rested in a hammock, Captain Caveman cycled up to the Wild Boar Farm to see Cuong. I couldn’t manage any more and was regretting cycling 13km away from home, not knowing if I’d be able to make it back.
Uy and Chung couldn’t make lunch but we arranged to meet tonight for dinner as it was their 6 year wedding anniversary. For lunch we had an absolute feast, including 2 bowls of the famous peanut sauce which we both love so much. Captain Caveman said it was only 10 minutes more to cycle to the Wild Boar Farm and wanted me to go after lunch but I decided another 10 minutes in the opposite direction would be foolish. Instead, I suggested we have a swim, seeing as there is a lovely swimming pool at the Pub with Cold Beer. I went to the toilet and, as I flushed, a frog jumped up from the bowl, I’d peed on it’s head and it wasn’t thrilled. I shouted Captain Caveman over to bring a camera as this wasn’t the first time I’d been startled by a frog in my toilet, in fact it was the third! (Once, while camping in India and the other while on Safari in Kenya). When it got to 3pm we decided we had better start making our way back, we had really enjoyed our time and food at the Pub with Cold Beer. We said our goodbyes and Captain Caveman and Bluey had already decided we would go the other way back, over a narrow, grid floor, suspension bridge which I was scared to cross. At first, Bluey was going to ride us across but I had to get off and push because I was having a panic on.
We cycled back through the valley and some of it was shaded which I was grateful for, some of it was steep and I had to push Bluey uphill. We soon ran out of water and I knew I wouldn’t make it back to Phong Nha in one go so Captain Caveman pushed Bluey for a bit and suggested a slight detour. Half an hour later, we were sat in Multi and Diem’s kitchen at the Pepper House being offered rice wine. I declined and had loads of much needed water while Captain Caveman had rice wine and beer (he’s an animal)! There were kids’ swimming lessons going on in the pool and I’m sure they were laughing at my red sweaty face. We finally left Multi’s to cycle home but I was a little tender on the undercarriage. Captain Caveman could tell I might not make it home so he suggested we cycle past where we used to live in Khuong Ha and stop off at a new place, he even got another video of me and Bluey.
Captain Caveman’s video of me and Bluey, in Khuong Ha
Phong Nha Funky Beach is a new venture owned by our friend, Mo (ex Oxalis colleague) and the previous owner of Greenfield Homestay. We arrived and sat overlooking the river on one of the platform style seating areas. It wasn’t particularly comfy for my achy legs but Mo was pleased to see us and was with another colleague of Captain Caveman’s, Nu, so they joined us. We had a cold beer, Mo brought us some vegan spring rolls and Nu gave us some vegan Banh Ep. Both were lovely but I was a bit distracted as it was already gone 5pm, it goes dark around 6pm and I hadn’t brought any lights. We said our goodbyes after a brief overview of the various activities that can be done there and set back off.
Our next stop was a quick nip in to Jungle Boss HQ, the boss was still not around to say hello to, but it was a good place for me to stop off to rest and use the toilet. We were due to meet Chung and Uy at 7pm but I was a sweaty mess and needed to go home for a shower. I’d drank all of the water we had between us so we had to stop for a coconut at Tree House Cafe on the way back home. I had a shower, then a naked lay on the bed in AC before rushing to get ready to go back out for dinner.
Captain Caveman and I met Chung at the Bia Hoi BBQ duck place, next door to Victory Road Villas. Uy was still on his was so we ordered the Bia Hoi beer which was about 60,000vnd (£1.98) for a small keg. Chung ordered food without Uy as it got to 8pm and he still wasn’t there yet but he arrived, a bit merry! It certainly was one of the more unusual anniversary celebrations I’d been on and turned out not to be much better than our own last year! Uy just drank and smoked but didn’t eat and another keg of cheap weak beer was consumed, mainly by the fellas. By the end of the meal, which tasted fantastic by the way, Uy was telling Chung she needed to do more exercise because she was fat. Luckily, the events of the last 2 days meant that Captain Caveman couldn’t possibly say the same about me today. Somehow, the birth of the LLC came out right there and then as Chung and I pledged to cycle together as the 2 founder members of the Lazy Ladies Club. The BBQ duck, veggies, noodles and beers came to a total of 400,000vnd (£13.20) which was a bargain.
We said our goodbyes and then instead of going home ourselves we had a sneaky bottle of red wine (also 400,000vnd) in The Villas to finish off our night. It was a good job, so that I could stop moaning that my bits were on fire from the 28km I’d managed to cycle on Bluey today on a very hot day! That was 3km more than yesterday, the furthest I cycled since before my injury and we did it in the height of summer. On the way home, I spotted a snake in the Stick or Snake game and it was alive in the Dead or Alive game, so I shouted to Captain Caveman behind me to stop so he could take a photo. It was heading back to the river after a spot of sunbathing and was slithering across the road, it was beautiful. I was glad to get in bed that night and at least we could have an easy, restful, quiet non-cycling day tomorrow, couldn’t we!?
Captain Caveman was not scheduled to work for the next 5 days so we had a busy day planned on Saturday 10th June. Of course, a day off would not be a day off without the need to go to Oxalis to sort some work stuff out! While sat by the river, I noticed that our neighbouring apartment in Dalyan was being advertised for renting out, using old photos. It looked like the Russians who’d been there for months were no longer there or were about to move out. It was likely I’d have new neighbours when I got back to Dalyan! By 9.40am I had ordered myself some breakfast at Oxalis Home and was tucking in to a Bo Ne without the eggs, forgetting I didn’t like the sweet baguettes.
It was Stu’s 50th birthday celebrations in Dong Hoi tonight so we had decided to make a trip of it and stay at the Vin Pearl hotel, another of my favourites. We got the Oxalis staff bus and were dropped off near the town centre where we then had to get a Grab taxi to the hotel. It had changed to now be a Melia hotel and they had made a few changes. As it was the weekend, the cost of the room including breakfast for the 2 of us was 1,650,646vnd (£54.47) but, given its 5 star like status, that was not a bad price. They let us check in early, we had a good welcome and a note from the manager, which I always find nice. We decided to go to get some lunch, given that we knew we would be getting on the booze later. Captain Caveman and I both chose the pork place but it turns out we had different places in our heads. We ended up at the one Captain Caveman and Stu recommended where we ordered 2 pork dishes a lemon juice and a beer for a total of 131,000vnd (£4.32). We also got a free winter melon soup included so that was a bargain but I wasn’t a fan of the soup. My pork, rice and salad was very good though and I’d eat there again if it wasn’t for the 4 staff all being on their phones on full volume, one playing games!
Back at the hotel, we decided to have a bubble bath, the robes that I used to love so much had changed! Gone were the brightly printed ones, that Josh had once attempted to go to breakfast in, and they were replaced by the white thick towelling ones – too hot to wear. There was a knock at the door and I had to leave Captain Caveman in the bath while I answered it, still covered in bubbles, to an embarrassed young staff member. She had brought us a welcome cake and delivered it in to the room while I shouted to Captain Caveman to lower the bathroom blind. I got dressed, even dried my hair and popped on Carol’s white dress with the marked pocket. We were about to go to an unconventional 50th birthday celebration!
Stu had told us to be at the Ra Khoi bar on the beach at 5.30pm. We arrived late on account of me eating cake in the hotel but we were the first to arrive. There were some shirtless locals in the bar but they were nothing to do with Stu. We got a beer each and sat overlooking the beach until Stu, Max and Jack arrived. When they did, I was clearly overdressed and, not long after, I found I was the only female attendee. It was going to be one of those parties, as the rest of the motley crew of guests arrived and headed on to the beach. Captain Caveman and I agreed a password for emergency evacuation, just in case. We decided the first 2 items on the shopping list, used in tandem, would be the signal for us to leave if it got too lively for us!
Dong Hoi airport is very close by
By the time I’d had 6 of the small Huda beers I was getting peckish so Captain Caveman and I decided to get a taxi back to town for dinner at Tree Hugger. We both had burgers, shared some fries and had a cheeky White Russian, again the diet was clearly on hold. The food was lovely and it wasn’t even 9pm so we took a taxi to rejoin Stu’s 50th birthday celebrations, which had now moved on to his own home. One of the cool dudes from the beach was DJing, it was very hot, I had 1 more beer and danced, mainly by myself. I noticed all the guys were disappearing upstairs but not many were coming back down – it was time to wang out the safe word to Captain Caveman. I’d forgotten the first 2 things on the shopping list but then managed to get ‘Broom Crackers’ out over the music. I was surprised we had lasted until midnight on just 7 beers and a White Russian. We’d had a great time but when the fan had to be used for the decks instead of the makeshift dancefloor I was just too hot to function – I was getting old!
Wednesday 7th June was a much calmer day than yesterday. I was naturally up early with the sound of the lost Casio watch at 6.45am and it was measurements day. My bust had remained the same but I had lost 6cm from my waist and 3cm from my hips. I still didn’t have any scales so I wasn’t sure how much I’d had put on from our holiday. I decided to take myself off out for breakfast, seeing as I didn’t eat well yesterday. It was back to being hot and sunny again but it was early enough for me to cycle in to town to visit the supermarket. Phong Nha now has a Winmart and I was keen to get some ‘healthy’ provisions.
Here’s what I bought with the prices in Vietnamese Dong:
I’d completely forgotten how expensive apples are in Vietnam and should have bought bananas instead. I think 54p each for an apple may be a bit much but they turned out to be one of the nicest apples I’d had. At The Villas I had a mango smoothie and a beef noodle soup for breakfast. It came to 128,000vnd (£4.22) and was very nice. I was back home working on the laptop in the afternoon and had just a cereal bar, an apple and a KitKat for lunch. For dinner I had cheese with crackers and another KitKat – the KitKat diet was going well!
It was the 12th anniversary of Oxalis on Thursday 8th June so I was expecting there might be some sort of event either today or this weekend to celebrate. Captain Caveman and I had plans at the weekend but we would have to cancel them if there was an Oxalis party. So I was surprised when Tatas confirmed we would meet this evening for wine and then go for a curry. I asked her if there was any party planned but she said she’d not heard of anything. For breakfast I had a cereal bar, a yoghurt and an apple which meant I was back on the Slimming World plan. I worked from 9am until 3.45pm stopping for a lunch break at home of another cereal bar, 60g of cheese and 2 apples. I met Tatas at 7pm at Tree House for red wine and there was still no mention of an Oxalis anniversary party. However, one glass in to the bottle, she received a call to say there would be a bit of a do at Big Ben and could she come over after she had finished dinner. We drank the wine, which had to go in an ice bucket as it was still very hot at night here.
At Ganesh Indian restaurant I ordered chicken samosa for starter, then for main a chicken tikka with saffron rice and a garlic naan. Tatas, who likes everything extra spicy, ordered an extra hot chicken vindaloo with plain naan bread. We both had a couple of bottles of Saigon beer each. My food was amazing, even though my samosas looked like a pair of boobs and I’d brought my trusty Tupperware to take half home! Tatas was upset that her’s still wasn’t spicy enough despite it making me cry when I sniffed it! Here’s the prices of what we had so you can compare how much it costs where you are:
Towards the end of the meal, while I was still eating but Tatas had given up, the calls and messages from Tatas’ colleagues increased. By 9pm she had left me to go to Big Ben for the Oxalis anniversary party. I decided to chat to the staff at Ganesh and get some photos. When I left, one of the Indian guys came out to help me put my light on my bike as I had my hands full of tomorrow’s Indian takeaway! It was great to have an Indian restaurant back in Phong Nha and, although we missed Raj at Namaste, Ganesh was certainly one of my new favourites. I cycled home, popped my leftovers in the fridge and set my alarm for work tomorrow.
Friday 2nd June was another busy and a pretty exciting day for us in Danang. After finishing work for the week, it was time for a spot of lunch. Captain Caveman had been to the shop on the corner and bought the following:
We called at the bus limo service office and Captain Caveman booked us our next trip which would be for tomorrow morning. We had a lovely lunch at Poomba’s Smokehouse where they have a great air conditioned room up a ladder style staircase. Captain Caveman had a Reuben’s sandwich, I had a slider trio and we both had beer. It was a ‘feels like’ temperature of 42°C outside, no breeze and high humidity so I was so grateful of the air con. On the way back to the hotel, we bought more stuff at the corner shop – 3 tubes of sensodyne toothpaste and 1.5l of water for 264,000vnd (£8.45). We had a bit of a rest in the AC at the hotel and then we got ready to go meet Caroline, she was back from Cambodia and it was about to get messy!
Captain Caveman had arranged for us to meet our friend, Caroline, at the Paradise Beach bar in Danang for sunset drinks. The traffic was bad but we had an over keen Grab driver who was determined to get us there without being concerned for anyone’s safety. We took a seat, not on the beach as I’m not keen on sand, then ordered cocktails while we waited for Caroline to get over from Hoi An. Service was pretty slow and it appeared that there was only one bar tender making cocktails but numerous other staff milling about. I realised I had mistakenly left the hotel wearing the shower flipflops, which didn’t really set off Carol’s (from Fat Club) dress too well. Caroline arrived and we had far too many frozen margaritas for us and long island iced teas for Captain Caveman while we caught up on what’s been going on.
At 8.30pm we had a table booked at Le Comptoir, a really lovely french restaurant and I insisted we ate inside in the AC as it was still boiling hot. We decided to have the Tasting menu with wine pairing as well as extra oysters for Captain Caveman and Caroline. We started off well but by the main course it was carnage; Caroline and I had an extra red wine while Captain Caveman lagged behind, when the main course came those two had disappeared and I had to ask for their food to be kept warm while I tucked in to mine. I ended up having 2 of the puddings and yet more wine before we staggered out in search of the nearest cocktail bar.
At the Craftsman I remembered having a lychee martini, Captain Caveman was wasted and Caroline wasn’t much better. We also were hoping to see our Phong Nha friend, Smiley Fox, who worked here but he wasn’t there. He messaged back to say he was actually in Phong Nha! We all went off in our Grab taxis very much worse for wear but having had an amazing night. I was not looking forward to the early alarm tomorrow and I suspected Captain Caveman may be slightly less enthusiastic about our arrangements than he usually would have been.
Photo credit – some photos by Caroline and Captain Caveman
I had planned to work my last 3 hours of the week on Thursday 1st June, however, it made sense to finish them tomorrow. Instead, we had breakfast at the Silkian Hotel then got ready and packed to check out before noon. We had an expensive day ahead of us as we were heading over to Danang for a couple of nights. But first I was off shopping at one of the best swimwear places in Hoi An. During Covid lockdown, Mommy Shark had helped me out with getting some swimmers and shorts sent up to me in Phong Nha (without having been in the shop) and they had fit. Now we were actually going to the shop which was a bit tricky to find but did have AC and a fan. Na and her mom greeted us and welcomed us in to the overstocked shop. I explained what I was looking for, she plonked Captain Caveman down on a seat with a fan and then started to sift through piles of items for me to try on. I tried a lot of bikinis and shorts on, some of which looked good, others that didn’t suit me or Captain Caveman didn’t like. We both loved the cycling shorts with hidden pockets in though and their matching bra tops.
Here’s what I bought at Mommy Shark and the prices in Vietnamese Dong: 1 red & white bikini 350,000 1 floral bikini 450,000 1 zebra print bikini 680,000 1 black bikini shorts 220,000 3 cycling shorts 750,000 2 sports bra tops 600,000 Total spent 3,050vnd (£97.60)
I wasn’t planning on buying so much but after losing weight, there was so much more stuff that fitted me and it’s better to get it when you can. I thought the prices were extremely good value too. We said our goodbyes and called a grab to head to the Meliora Hotel in Danang. We were a bit early for check in so the receptionist gave us a bottle of water and we sat in reception to wait, it was melting hot outside. Once in the room we made use of the washing machine and I got my Mommy Shark purchases out. We had to hurry along though as we had places to be and people to meet, as is usual.
After drinking 2 cold beers, which I’d got from the shop next door for 11,818vnd (38p) each and waiting for the washing to finish, Captain Caveman and I decided to visit an old favourite restaurant. The Nomad Kitchen, which was within walking distance from our hotel, had changed premises and no longer had AC. It did have a roof top with a bit of breeze and some fans so we went up there. We each ordered a glass of wine, I fancied the chicken salad as I had bikinis to look good in, Captain Caveman ordered pasta. The food was great, more wine was had (we should have ordered a bottle) and then his friend and former colleague came to meet us. Katie, her husband Sasha and her little baby, Sam, are really lovely and we spent a couple of hours with them chatting. We had a complimentary cheese cake, said hello to the owner and our friends shared a generous portion of fish and chips which looked great. I forgot to take a note of the bill as Captain Caveman paid online.
In the evening, I collected my new glasses from the opticians while slightly squiffy and was convinced I couldn’t see as well as before. The optician suggested I wear them and check again tomorrow. Captain Caveman treated us both to a fantastic meal at another one of our favourite restaurants, Olivia’s Steakhouse. Here’s what we had and the prices;
1 pepper sauce 65,000 1 750ml still water 70,000 1 grilled sweetcorn 100,000 1 macaroni cheese 120,000 1 grilled asparagus 145,000 1 bottle red wine 950,000 2 250g fillet steaks 2,400,000 5% service charge 196,000 Total spent 4,116,000vnd (£131.71)
This was probably the most expensive meal we’d had in Vietnam so far but it really was worth it. We were served complimentary bread and dips, which Captain Caveman asked for seconds of and we weren’t charged for. We also got 3 shots of complimentary chocolate vodka each for our dessert. Olivia’s has been one of our favourites for a while and the new venue was a winner. We also felt really lucky to have been able to go as Captain Caveman had only just got confirmation that he didn’t have to go back to work earlier than expected. We were back at the hotel by 9pm as I wanted to be up early for work tomorrow.
Wednesday 31st May was another busy day in Hoi An; I worked from 6.45-8.15am, before breakfast. It was weigh day but I had no scales so I just took my measurements. My bust was the same, my waist had increased by 6cm and my hips by 3cm – not a good result, but hardly surprising. Captain Caveman and I ate in the Silkian Hotel for breakfast and it was ok but nothing special. I went back to work for another 2.5 hours while Captain Caveman had gone out looking at phones. I got a grab taxi to meet him for lunch at Baba’s Kitchen, the Indian restaurant. We both ordered the masala dosa but, when it came, mine had chillies in. I didn’t realise until it was too late and I’d already eaten quite a bit and had to have a cheeky lunchtime beer to help take the burn off. I got a taxi back to the hotel, I left Captain Caveman to his own devices and managed a whole hour of work before I became ill. My stomach swelled so much that it looked like I had swallowed a football or was about to give birth and I spent far too long in the bathroom. I measured my waist again to find it was 24cm bigger than when I was in Dalyan and 15cm bigger than before I ate chillies a couple of hours ago! I also had very swollen cankles! I was worried I wasn’t going to make it out tonight, as arranged, to meet 2 of our lovely friends.
Not being one to miss a night out and, after a very short rest, antihistamines and Maalox, I was ready to go out out. Looking and feeling like I was pregnant, I went to meet Captain Caveman. He was already with our friends, Steve and June, at Market Bar and I managed to navigate a Grab taxi to find the bar. It was a lovely place with 2 for 1 on gins so I had two with cucumber and two with cocoa nibs (as you do). It was great to see our friends to catch up after 11 months of not seeing them. They took us to a lovely French restaurant, Le Petit Bistro, in Hoi An, which their friend owns and it was an absolute delight. June and I ordered the rum punch and we tried some nibbles courtesy of the chef. The staff were lovely and we all ordered main meals, I had wine, the men had beer and June was on the water. My beef stew was gorgeous and not particularly diet friendly. By 9.30pm it was home time, back to the Silkian Hotel for our last night. Tomorrow we had more exciting plans!
Tuesday 30th May was jam-packed with activity and a bit of drama! We left the Deluxe Boutique Hotel by pre-booked taxi, just as the sun was rising. Our flight with Air Asia was at 7.25am from Chiang Mai to Danang, we were off back to Vietnam with my 30 day visa. At the airport we didn’t get any breakfast or a drink but instead we spent 970 of the 1,000 Thai Baht hotel deposit on Duty Free. I chose a bottle a bottle of Prosecco and a bottle of Hardy’s red wine which came to £21.55. Our luggage allowance on the flight was only 7kg so Captain Caveman had taken most of the fresh laundry in his bag as I think mine weighed heavier because of my lap top. We landed in Danang around 10am and went to the official taxi queue where the man with the lanyard walked us over to a car and driver. The car was not an My Linh or a Vina Sun taxi, it didn’t have a yellow plate and there was something odd about the chubby taxi driver with foreign arm tattoos. We got to the opticians where I had an appointment at 11am but we were early, when we asked how much to the driver. He tried to more than double the fare and wouldn’t let us out. Captain Caveman told him the money was in the bag in the boot so he let him out while I was winding the window down to try to let myself out but it was locked. Captain Caveman gave the driver half of what he asked for but then he got aggressive, telling him to get back in the car. I took photos so that we could (yet again) report it to the airport authorities and Captain Caveman told him to F off. Once in the opticians we were a bit wound up and this was not the first time for it to happen to me. It was concerning as this could be a reason tourists would not return to Vietnam. Captain Caveman said he would report it and I sent him the photo evidence, which I luckily got. I had my eye test appointment and decided on transitional lenses in my new glasses to save swapping normal glasses to sunglasses all the time. I had all the protective/glare stuff on and finally picked some lightweight transitional specs to the total tune of 3,660,000vnd (£117.12) – so much cheaper than in the UK.
Our next stop was a taxi ride to Hoi An for us to check in at the Silkian Hotel, we used Grab to be safer. Captain Caveman had picked it because it was new, had a good price and was close to Caroline’s cafe. Unfortunately, Caroline had took off on an impromptu trip to Cambodia so we didn’t know if we would get to see her this trip. The hotel was nice, the staff friendly and our room was lovely. We dumped our stuff and popped to 9 Grains (Caroline’s cafe) for our lunch because we’d had no breakfast. We both had juices, hot drinks and bacon sandwiches all of which were great and I spotted, and bought, the last bar of ‘my’ particular soap which is made from coconut and helps my eczema. I worked from 1.30-6.30pm with super whizzy free internet at the hotel room, while Captain Caveman entertained himself and booked a table for dinner.
The Slimming World diet had not been going well of late but I really did push the boat out at Le Cabanon, one of my favourite restaurants in Hoi An. We ate baked camembert with rosemary and honey, a Cochonne pizza to share, drank 2 bottles of Viognier wine and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Our bill was as follows: Camembert 360,000 Pizza 170,000 2 bottles of wine 1,360,000 Total spent 1,890,000vnd (£60.48)
There was an offer on for wine and pizza so our actual bill was less than this in the end. It was so hot in there and the waiter was absolutely fantastic as it was very busy so Captain Caveman did leave a tip.
We decided to have a little walk to find a bar Captain Caveman had been recommended, called Mescal. I was so impressed when we walked in as the building is amazing and it’s hard to find. Captain Caveman had an Old Fashioned while I went completely mad and ordered a trio of tequilas with a watermelon sangria. For 240,000vnd (£7.68) it was definitely up there with the most memorable drink choice I’ve ever had the pleasure of. It took me ages to drink it so Captain Caveman had a second Old Fashioned which were 250,000vnd (£8) each. I don’t recall getting back to the hotel that night!
On Sunday 28th May Captain Caveman asked me where I wanted to go for breakfast and I decided that the best thing I could go for would be SP Chicken. On the way, Captain Caveman wanted to stop off at a cafe, called Sun Ray, for a coffee. I ended up getting hangry and moany as they had an inefficient system for seating people and I hate pretentious coffee places. This time at SP Chicken, we ordered the chicken (obviously), rice and 2 plates of veggies. I always give Captain Caveman the skin from the chicken and it’s been barbecued on a spit so is reasonably healthy. It was so delicious that I said I could eat it every day! It was extremely hot, compared to what we had been used to in Sapa, so we headed back to the hotel. On the way there, Captain Caveman met an astronaut and I took his photo. At the hotel, I managed to book in at my favourite opticians back in Vietnam for Tuesday.
That evening, wearing one of my favourite dresses from a Dalyan friend, we went out to Why Ribs and Rumps. A place with a terrible name but excellent pork ribs, which we shared. I really liked it there and can’t recall the prices as Captain Caveman paid and I didn’t keep a receipt. For dessert we went to another old favourite, Cru, for wine and a cheeseboard. Aside from there being far too many tomatoes for my liking, we enjoyed it. We walked via a shop for beers and water which we had when we got back to the room, tomorrow would be our last night in Chiang Mai.
We were the first in to the dining room of the Silk Path Grand Resort and Spa Hotel at 6am on Friday 26th May. At breakfast we made up a sandwich to take with us for the long journey as we didn’t have long until our limousine bus was coming to pick us up. As I drank my cup of tea, I realised what was missing from our afternoon tea yesterday – the tea! I’d been looking forward to trying all the teas but had not noticed that they had never brought us any tea, nor even asked if we would like some. How odd, and even stranger that I’d not noticed! We’d already packed and checked out ready to make the journey to Hanoi airport which was just under 300km away. Unfortunately, the bus was over an hour late and we had to sit in the back seats which were more bumpy. At the service stop off along the way, we saw a cute dog with red dye on it and some very interesting ladies toilets.
We arrived on time for our flight to Chiang Mai, Thailand, checked in and got a beer which was $5.50. It was the busiest I’d seen Hanoi airport and we sat at a different gate to our one to eat our ham and cheese sandwiches. We arrived in Chiang Mai, got a taxi to the Deluxe Boutique hotel and quickly checked in around 6pm. We took a Grab taxi to Gekko restaurant where we were meeting an old friend of Captain Caveman’s for dinner at 6.30pm. Sid Perou has been a caver and film/documentary maker as well as having written a book – a very interesting man. We got there as they were arriving and sat with Sid, his wife and grandson. We all had beers and I ordered Pad Thai, Captain Caveman had a masaman curry. Both meals were great and we had a good laugh chatting with our friends. It wasn’t a late one as Sid and his wife had to be up early tomorrow and it was already past their grandson’s bedtime. We had a relatively early night for our first of three nights in Chiang Mai.
It was another great day on Thursday 25th May, but sadly our last one in Sapa. I only had a 15 day visa exemption for Vietnam so I had to be out of the country before the 29th May, I also was still waiting on my next visa approval. I had a bit of a lay in until 7.30am and was surprised when I looked out of the window to see it was raining. Captain Caveman and I went for the buffet breakfast just after 8am and it was delicious. We decided that as it wasn’t great weather we would book in some hotel things to do. The hotel manager was brilliant and so on his game as we booked me in for one of the spa packages and then afternoon tea. When we got back to the room I got an email to say my 30 day Vietnam visa was approved. Captain Caveman was glad to hear this as we were flying to Thailand tomorrow. My Thai massage with Cherry was absolutely amazing and I almost fell asleep at the end. I went to Cat Cat bar afterwards to meet Captain Caveman who had brought me Carol’s (ironically of Fat Club fame) dress to change in to for our afternoon tea with a bit of a difference (I will see if you can tell what the difference was from the photos)! I’d done so well to not have put weight on this week but now I found myself shovelling sandwiches and cake down a bit too greedily. As I was already dressed for the occasion, but wearing trainers because of the rain we booked the free shuttle bus in to to town.
We visited Saparis bar again for cocktails before doing the short uphill walk to Ganesh, the Indian restaurant. I tried to stay as healthy as possible with a chicken tikka (no sauce), rice and a spinach dish but I did have a couple of beers to go with it. The food was nice and filling, we walked back down the hill to the bus pick up spot and to say bye to Sapa town. Tomorrow we had another early start to what might be a long day of travelling.
Foolishly, I’d hoped for quality time and extra snoozes on Sunday 21st May but, obviously, Captain Caveman had other ideas. As he had promised me a shopping trip, we had to get up early to get it done. I’m sure he gave a good reason why and it could’ve been due to the weather but I was too tired to note it. By 7.30am we were showered, dressed and in the hotel dining room tucking in to a shared fruit plate. We both had the chicken noodle soup (pho ga) and a hot drink before Captain Caveman insisted we look lively for today’s mission. At 8am it was already 31°C with a ‘feels like’ 39°C and the air quality was not good in the capital city. Just a couple of weeks ago, Hanoi had suffered a heatwave with the highest temperatures ever recorded. We got a Grab taxi, which are really cheap in Hanoi, to the shopping centre to find we had to wait for it to open. Once inside, we headed straight for Uniqlo where I’d been online to check the choices and had taken screenshots of a few items I liked the look of. It didn’t quite pan out as well as expected because the largest they had in stock for almost everything was an L (about a size 12). Captain Caveman helped me pick out a few practical items and I headed to the Fitting room a little too optimistic. I hate shopping anyway so I did get a little despondent when the first couple of things didn’t fit. I had to remind myself that this time last year I wouldn’t have even got in the XL (size 14 approx) if they had any. In less than an hour I had managed to spend 3,194,00vnd (£108.60) of Captain Caveman’s hard earned cash on 6 items and I was happy to have 2 pairs of skorts, which I’d never had before! We dropped my wares off at the hotel and I had a little fashion show with my new clothes while Captain Caveman took terrible photos of me in them, from the position of him laying on the bed. I’d not even been here quite a week and he was getting bored of taking photos on demand.
Our next stop was to meet two Phong Nha friends for lunch; Leonard, the old guy who stayed at Funny Monkeys from before the pandemic, now lives in Hanoi, and our good friend Kat, who divides her time between Hanoi and Phong Nha. Both were available on the same day so Leonard had chosen one of his nearby favourite restaurants, Pizza 4 Ps. Captain Caveman and I were the first to arrive and we decided to order a cider that came with some cheese as a pre starter! Leonard was the next to arrive with his arm strapped up after breaking his collar bone in a fall. Other than that he was on good form and it was great to see him. Kat arrived next and was only able to stay for an hour due to her having an upcoming painful dentist appointment. We were having such a good catch up that I almost forgot to take some photos and I had a weird incident in the toilets with the cleaner who wanted me to rate the toilets, on an electronic board, as ‘needing improvement ‘ and then comment on why. The toilets were fine, so I wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at but Leonard said a similar thing happened to him. The half and half pizza which I shared with Captain Caveman was fantastic, the salad was a bit too drenched in balsamic vinegar for me but I managed to get it down me with another cider (no cheese).
After lunch and walking Leonard back to his hotel, Captain Caveman and I walked to the gold shop to exchange some foreign currency and it was so hot that I was getting a bit moany. We had to make a refreshment stop at Puku cafe where, to my delight, they had the iced slushy drinks with passion fruit at 80,000vnd (£2.72) each. Just as I thought we were off back for a siesta or a rest, Captain Caveman announced we were meeting Lien, our old Vietnamese teacher and friend. We got a Grab taxi to Oliberry cafe where Lien was already waiting. We got chatting about clothes shopping and Lien recommended a woman’s independent clothes shop nearby called Rico Clothing. Within minutes, I was on the back of Lien’s Honda Cub heading to Rico, where I picked out a few dresses to try on. Captain Caveman walked it there and caught us up to give his opinion on the clothes I tried on. I bought a lovely dress and even tried a Size L which was too big for me, I also found a couple of pairs of knickers that fit me too. We said our goodbyes and I hoped we’d be going home to freshen up and get ready for our dinner date tonight – no, we were out out. Captain Caveman and I had arranged to meet Johan, a friend through caving and Andrea, for tapas with a bit of a difference at Pinchos. We were a little early so we called in to 7 Bridges for a pint of ale, as you do.
At Pincho’s we shared sparkling water and red wine but we didn’t go mad as Johan was on a strict regime and would be up early for boxing class before work tomorrow. Pincho’s was easily one of the best meals I’ve had and it was amazing to be able to eat so much meat and cheese. We tried quite a lot of the different tapas dishes and I only got a surprise chilli the once, luckily I could smell it. We were back to the Aquarius Grand Hotel by 9.30pm and were already setting our alarms for another very early get up. Our day had been an amazing one and when I got in I had to try my new dress on, which I liked more the second try on. The hotel room had cost 765,000vnd (£26) per night and well worth that price, which included breakfast. Captain Caveman paid our bill which also included the 400,000vnd car pick up service (£13.60) from Hanoi airport to the hotel. We also paid in advance for 2 bus tickets at 480,000vnd (£16.32) each as we were off to our next destination for 4 nights at 6.30am tomorrow!
I was so hot that I couldn’t sleep and was still awake at 1.40am on Friday 19th May. I got up and drank a lot of water with Oresol in, to keep hydrated. At 3.15am I was checking out prices of my return flights with Scoot and they were quite pricey. I had about 6 weeks left until I was due to go back and I wasn’t quite sure how I would survive this heat. I also remembered I was meant to have applied for my next visa as I was only allowed to stay in Vietnam on the 15 day exemption until 28th May. I dozed off around 3.40am and woke up with the loud speaker at 6am, which was irritating. Of course Captain Caveman’s lost watch went off at 6.45am then I went back to sleep, despite the room being a bit warm already. I’d arranged to meet Veronika at VRV for lunch at noon, so I got myself ready for a cycle in red hot sun. I borrowed Captain Caveman’s trousers and a T-shirt to protect me from the 38°C sun and I took a dress to change in to. I have Factor 50 sun cream with me but I find it runs off quite easily. Veronika had been looking after her eldest grandson for a whole month, while Ben and Bich were in Australia. She was eager to get out and celebrate her freedom as they were back in Phong Nha now. When she arrived she had a bottle of our favourite fizz in the fridge and she asked for it with an ice bucket and 3 glasses. Another lady, Jenny, was joining us and we decided to order lunch too. I had the courgette salad, Veronika had the duck and Jenny had a pho. All of the food was good and we were having a lovely lunch when a customer started chatting to us. It turned out that the customer and her lively young son knew the Wiringi family and had come here on Melissa’s recommendation. Captain Caveman arrived back from his Son Doong tour and came to join us around 3pm at The Villa’s restaurant before he had to go to his Gala Dinner at 5.30pm. He was a bit cross with me that I’d still not got round to applying for my 30 day visa so he did it for me, he also brought me a backlight for my cycling home in the dark. Veronika had booked to stay the night at VRV so she went for a Nannan nap, Jenny went for a swim and I started work. I only had 2 hours left to work this week so planned to work 4-6pm and today I was working on something new. At 6pm, Veronika came back to join me, as well as Tatas, Jenny had returned to the Farmstay. I decided to be naughty and ordered my favourite Villa’s pizza, the Showstopper. It had salami, blue cheese, fig jam and spring onion on and is not in the least bit Slimming World friendly. It was delicious and we had a great night. Captain Caveman rejoined us after he’d finished work. I had some work queries and corrections which needed finishing so I had to do another hour’s work from 8.30-9.30pm so that the task wasn’t left until Monday. This meant I would only work 15 hours next week which was fortunate as Captain Caveman now had at least 2 weeks off, with a possibility of it being 17 days holiday. This was great news, as he had been working a lot recently and he really was ready for a break. He’d also planned a really great holiday for the two of us, including a trip to Thailand, starting from tomorrow!
My bill for today’s food and drink at The Villa’s restaurant was as follows:
I was in the reception of the Common Inn hotel at 5.20am on Monday 15th May, wishing I’d had more sleep and looking like shit! I was bobbing about with sea sickness symptoms which must have been caused by jet lag. There was no time for breakfast, not that anywhere was open, and we were checked in and sat in a busy Saigon airport at 6.15am. By 7.20am we were sat next to each other on the plane to Dong Hoi, which isn’t a given with Captain Caveman. I’d already arranged to not do any work today due to travelling and spending time with Captain Caveman before he was in the cave for 4 days. On the same flight was Captain Caveman’s friend, Phuong, who was returning to Phong Nha to do another Oxalis cave tour.
We’d arranged to meet friends in Dong Hoi for a very early lunch so we got a taxi to Buffalo Home & Chill Bar. I was already hungry so we ordered some spring rolls and a drink to keep us going, as we were early. Captain Caveman was happy to be back in his province of Quang Binh, while I was already having issues with the extreme heat. Dong Hoi is by the sea so there is some breeze, allbeit a warm one, so Phong Nha was definitely going to be more of a challenge for me. Jack was the first to arrive, we said hellos and he and Captain Caveman grabbed a beer. It was still too early for me to have alcohol though. Stu and Max arrived shortly after and they both ordered beers and, as they were in their lunch hour, we ordered food. Captain Caveman and I shared the pork ribs while the lads had burgers or curry. I succumbed to a beer with my dinner as it only seemed right for our welcome back lunch. Trang arrived shortly after and just had a drink with us while she was back in town. It was good to see everyone and even Captain Caveman was happy I was finally here. The food was great and I was enjoying eating pork in Vietnam.
We had a car coming to pick us up at 12.30pm because Captain Caveman had to get back for his Son Doong briefing tonight. He needed to go to the Oxalis office so it was decided that I would be dropped off at Victory Road Villas (VRV). It’s one of the more up market places in town, owned by Ben and Bich, halfway between town and where Captain Caveman was living now. He was back staying at the Glass House, our original place, because he was mostly in the jungle so didn’t need to be paying for anywhere fancy with a pool. Captain Caveman took my suitcase home while I had a light refreshment then he came back to join me. We had some drinks and even had a dip in the pool before it was time for Captain Caveman to go to work. I spent the afternoon at VRV, drinking beer and having a loll about on a sun bed – I may have fell asleep on one of the very comfy loungers.
By 6.30pm I was hungry so decided to sample dinner at The Villa’s restaurant. The menu was very similar to the last time I’d been here, 9 months ago, with just a few changes. I had the vegetarian fresh spring rolls for a starter which are 80,000vnd (£2.64) and very healthy. I left the soy sauce dip as I find it a bit too strong. For main, I chose the chicken and bacon sandwich (no mayo) forgetting it came with chips. At 180,000vnd (£5.94) it’s good value and a generous portion. I was still eating it when Captain Caveman returned from his briefing so he had another beer. Beers for 330ml were 35,000vnd (£1.16) which are the most expensive in town but do come with an iced glass, ice and are cold. Back home, via a short motorbike ride on Trigger, I was shocked to see the Glass House was lacking a bit of TLC, somewhat. There was no internet and the bathroom tap had broken so Captain Caveman had tied it up with string to turn it off. I was going to be roughing it a bit these next few days but I didn’t mind too much, at least I could catch up on some much needed sleep while Captain Caveman was away.
I landed at 5.45am in Singapore on Sunday 14th May, 6 hours ahead of Greece and Turkey (8 hours ahead of the UK). Even though I’d had some sleep, it had been a bit uncomfy and I was not looking forward to my lay over in Singapore. I would ordinarily have hammered the lounge but the thought of drinking any alcohol made me feel sick. My next flight wasn’t until 1.25pm which meant I had about 7 hours to kill. I had a little rest in a quiet spot but wasn’t there long as a load of people came and sat next to me, making a noise. The amount of people who listen to their phone on high volume instead of having earphones in makes me so angry! I do not want to listen to it! I decided that I would go to a lounge in Changi airport to pass the time on and for a bit of peace. I didn’t drink any alcohol though, which was a first for me in an airport lounge. I just did 3 hours in there and ate some nice food before finding a reclined seat for a nap. I set my alarm and was about to drift off when the guy next to me decided he would have a very loud conversation on his phone, in the quiet area! At the gate for my flight from Singapore to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City), the staff insisted that I put my hand luggage in the hold because the plane was full. This was annoying as I didn’t want to be waiting for luggage at the other end. I decided to take out all my essentials, including my laptop, in case the luggage went missing – I didn’t take any spare clothes out though. My third flight was uneventful and took less than 2 hours, landing in Saigon at 2pm. It took me 2 hours to get through the very lengthy queues at immigration. I had a little wobble when the official asked where my visa was, I told him I was entering on the 15 day visa exemption, he said “no” and pointed to the visa area, expecting me to go to buy a visa. I knew this was not the case and stood my ground, maybe he was confused or maybe they were trying to get people to spend money on visas they didn’t need. Anyway, after a few minutes, he let me through but by then the carousel for our luggage had been stopped and my case was not there. Great!
At around 4pm on Sunday 14th May, I found a baggage handler, in Saigon International airport, and tried to ask him where the cases from my Singapore flight were. He said ‘finished’, which was useful! The queue for the lost luggage was rather large so I grabbed a man with a lanyard who looked official, to explain my predicament. He asked if I had checked at the other end of the airport, I hadn’t (obviously) so off I toddled. I found my case sat in a corner, by itself, 10 carousels further along. Brilliant, I would have fresh clothes to wear now! As instructed by Captain Caveman previously, I went to the domestic terminal to get the taxi and managed to be more assertive than I was last time at this airport. He tried to tell me to get in a different taxi and I said no and chose the one I would get, for myself. It was extremely hot in Saigon and very humid, I was still dressed in jeggings and trainers! The taxi cost less than 250,000vnd and took less than half an hour to get to one of my favourite hotels, The Common Inn, where Captain Caveman was staying. When I arrived he was already there and had been on a mammouth cycle ride with a brewery stop off! I had the luxury of a hot shower (I’d not had one since Friday afternoon) and popped on a dress as we were in a rush to go out. We went to Mad Wine in Thao Dien and Captain Caveman said how happy he was that I was finally here, little did he know I nearly wasn’t! Our friend Andrea arrived, who’d also been on the cycle ride and she’d been a little tired afterwards so wasn’t joining us for dinner. Valerie arrived next for just a drink and we all had a wine or two to celebrate being back in Vietnam. It was really nice to see Andrea and Valerie and I was surprised that Captain Caveman had thought to organise a reunion rather than have a quiet night in – he was even happy to take photos and I knew Steve’s sunglasses would come in handy! There’s always a method in Captain Caveman’s madness though; our flight tomorrow had been changed! It had been brought forward to 8.30am, we needed to be at the airport by 7.30am so it would be an early get up and the promised shopping trip was no more. To further smooth the disappointment of us not being in Saigon very long and Captain Caveman having to be back at work tomorrow at 6pm, he had chose somewhere nice to dine tonight. To be honest, I could quite easily have gone straight to bed but Captain Caveman was going to be away for the first 4 days of me being in Phong Nha. We went to a place called Arto House in Thao Dien, District 2, which had been recommended by another of Captain Caveman’s cycling mates. We shared a burrata cheese starter which was amazing, then I had duck and Captain Caveman had pasta with lots of mushrooms. The food and the bottle of red wine we shared was so good and it was a great first meal in Vietnam. Our bill came to 1,567,500vnd (£51.73) including the bottle of nice wine. I noticed that Captain Caveman must no longer be suffering with his gout, like he was in December, because mushrooms and red wine are usually triggers for it. I hardly remember getting back to the Common Inn as I was starting to feel a bit of jet lag. Captain Caveman ordered the car to go to the airport for 5am the next day and we set out alarms. Tonight I would probably dream about sleep!
