Phong Nha – 5th May

I decided to try something different for breakfast on Sunday 5th May but I regretted it, slightly. The pork and rice noodle soup came with a fried egg on top and I don’t like eggs. Captain Caveman scooped it on to his plate and ate it but then my breakfast was a bit too greasy for me. I washed it down with Yorkshire tea and orange juice and then caught up on some blogging in the shade. Captain Caveman was now spending hours each day, playing Bridge and wearing his noise cancelling headphones. We didn’t have lunch again so by the time it was getting to dinner time I was very hungry. After saying bye to the couple we had met from the UK, Captain Caveman, René and I cycled to the Phong Nha Farmstay to meet Veronika for happy hour and Sunday dinner. Mina, the dog, followed a long as far as Elements where 2 dogs came out on the attack and she retreated off home. When we got to Phong Nha Farmstay, Veronika and her friend joined us and some of us ordered the happy hour drinks. The Sunday dinner was nice and the pork was tasty however the Yorkshire puddings looked like someone had forgotten to keep the oven door shut. Veronika shared some of her celebratory red wine and I also managed 2 happy hour rum and cokes. For afters I went completely off my diet as the dessert is included in the price and I had the chocolate brownie with ice-cream. Captain Caveman paid so I didn’t see the total bill after the service charge and VAT was added, but as a guide the roast dinner is 300,000VND (£9.20) per person. It includes a drink but we forgot to order ours as we had the happy hour drinks, then the wine. It had made a nice change to go out, especially as I had never seen René anywhere else but at Greenfield Ecostay.
We cycled back in the dark, I had brought my light which I was glad about. The small roads to Greenfield are a bit off the beaten path and my eyesight only works in daylight, unlike Captain Caveman’s. We had a last drink at the bar before going to bed, I was still coughing and full of sniffles.

Phong Nha – 4th May

It was Captain Caveman’s 6th day off on Saturday 4th May and he had another week off due to a schedule change. This was so fortuitous and great for Captain Caveman to relax, even if it did mean he was playing so much Bridge we hardly spoke to each other. It was also Tatas’ day off but she was sick so couldn’t come out to play, as we’d hoped. I had a full blown cold again which was probably as a result of getting caught in heavy rain 2 days ago. There was a storm in the early hours and morning which was quite bad and when we came downstairs, Veronika had already gone back to her duties at the Phong Nha Farmstay.
For breakfast I had a pancake with mango and my Yorkshire tea. Captain Caveman had his usual and decided we were eating too much so let René know we didn’t want to eat lunch today. I wasn’t as keen on this plan as it meant I would go from 9.30am to 6.30pm without eating. I had a cold anyway so I took it easy and let the Vegan ladies know I wasn’t cycling in today.
By lunchtime I had some hassle to deal with, regarding Captain Caveman’s pool situation in Dalyan. It transpired that something was broken and needed fixing so I got in touch with the Agent and Maintenance contacts to see if we could rectify the situation any quicker.
I had a swim before sunset and got ready for dinner, still feeling a bit unwell. For dinner Ngan had prepared fried rice with squid for everyone else, but I’m allergic to it. I was served a lovely alternative of prawn and vegetable noodles in a generous portion which I really enjoyed. I also had some white wine and Captain Caveman had beers.

Phong Nha – 3rd May

As it was the weekend and I’d only had 60 syns so far this week, I chose pineapple pancakes for breakfast on Friday 3rd May. Captain Caveman had already eaten earlier as I felt under the weather and had a little lay in. He was in the pool when I got down but he had a plan that he needed to go back to Phong Nha. I took that as a good opportunity to call in at Phong Nha Vegan so Captain Caveman said he’d give me a lift on the motorbike and off we went. Just before 11am, we had to stop at the pork shop and take shelter as a downpour came. It didn’t last long and I soon was at Phong Nha Vegan where I only stayed from 11.30am to 1pm. May, the dog from down the street, was there getting some attention from a customer as he loves some fuss. On our way back, we called at Lotus restaurant and met Multi who I shared Lotus tea with from a cute tea set and Captain Caveman had a shandy. Captain Caveman and I shared a beef Luk Lak which was very tasty for our lunch as I’d not eaten at the Vegan today.
We couldn’t stay long as Veronika was on her way to Greenfield as she had some time off from teaching the grandchildren. It stopped raining long enough for us to get back and have a swim, Veronika arrived and the 3 of us had a beer. She decided to get a room and stay over when the weather looked a bit wet again and we opened a bottle of white wine. Ngan and the team had arranged an amazing dinner for tonight- a BBQ chicken with accompaniments; 2 different types of rice, pork, peanuts, chips, fresh spring rolls, green beans and salad. It was really good and one of the best BBQ chicken platters in town. We had a really lovely evening and a few frogs joined us to shelter from the rain. Guests from York and Peterborough had become our new friends and we enjoyed sharing some great laughs together before they had to move on to their next destination.

Phong Nha – 1st & 2nd May

Another relaxing day was had by Captain Caveman and I on Wednesday 1st May. I’d been away from Dalyan for over 7 weeks now but we were looking at the option of me staying in Vietnam for another 2 months. I still didn’t have a flight booked but my parents, sister and brother-in-law would be on their way to Istanbul tomorrow. I was missing Dalyan and my friends there, a few of which had kept in touch which was nice. I was definitely missing Fat Club and the accountability it gave me although I was still trying my best to track everything and make sensible choices. This week I’d only consumed 208 syns, more than 100 less than last week, and only 78 on alcohol. Today was weigh day and the 8th Fat Club I’d missed but I took my measurements. I had lost 3cm from my bust, 1cm from my waist and 4cm from my hips. I was pleased because I was under or on target for all of my measurements now. I decided I would find some scales when I next went in to town as it was almost a month since I’d got weighed.
At 8am it was 33°C and it didn’t feel unbearable as we popped our swimmers on to go down for breakfast. I had veggie noodle soup with extra greens and a cup of Yorkshire tea, Captain Caveman had an omelette with plenty of coffee. We spent the morning by the pool but at noon I got some bad news; our tenants back in Dalyan (and Jamie’s friends from his home town) were complaining about Captain Caveman’s apartment. The pool there wasn’t ready, as promised, the sunbeds and decking areas were untidy and someone on the complex was feeding lots of cats. Jamie had messaged me to tell me of his friend’s complaints with photos and to inform me that the pool wasn’t even full of water yet. He said it was hot there and they would not be happy to be without a pool when it was promised. Just what we needed, especially when I had been told by our pool and garden guy that it would be ready in plenty of time. I messaged the agent and our pool and garden man with the complaints and photos. I also let Amanda and Greg know as they had guests renting their place downstairs. Captain Caveman went in the pool at Greenfield, while I continued to try to sort all the issues out in Dalyan.
We had lunch at Greenfield which was a really nice beef and vegetable stir-fry (without chillies for me). I eventually got some time to myself and for a swim before going back to the room to speak to a friend. Unfortunately, she had some bad news about her health, and she needed surgery. This meant that her plans to come visit us would be delayed or cancelled.
In the evening, Captain Caveman drove us both in to town via the pharmacy. They had a set of old style weighing scales and I got on to find I was the same weight as when I last got weighed. I was still 3.3kg (7.7lb) heavier than when I last got weighed on Carol’s scales though, which I wasn’t convinced was true. I went to Phong Nha Vegan for 2.5 hours and the chef made me Com Suon which is fake pork with steamed rice and vegetables. She added a couple of spring rolls and I gave one to the waitress. The food was delicious and very filling. We left at 8.30pm and drove the 8km back to Greenfield as I had a video call booked in with Ma & Pa. I had one glass of wine at the bar and left Captain Caveman having a beer with René while I did the call. My parents were excited to be going back to Turkey and had a week in Istanbul before heading to Dalyan. It was good to see their happy faces as Ma got the hang of the camera angle this time.

We had the same breakfast as yesterday on Thursday 2nd May at Greenfield Ecostay. It was a bit muggy so I also drank a litre of water and we shared some mangosteen. While Captain Caveman played Bridge on his iPad, I cycled in to Phong Nha by myself. This was great as it meant that Captain Caveman had not been in to work on his day off for 3 whole days and it was doing him good. I spent a couple of hot and sticky hours at the Vegan with the girls and a couple of dogs where I had the amazing fresh spring rolls. I took half of them with me when I left as it looked like rain may come. At 4pm I had a video call scheduled in with Vanessa which I wouldn’t have time to cycle the 8km back for in time. We had already had to move it twice because of me being unavailable so I decided I would call in to The Villa’s and call from there. I mentioned to Vanessa a storm was looking likely and that I couldn’t speak for long. I had a soda water and a cheese toastie as I was peckish which I ate while on the call. It was good to catch up but we had to cut it short at only 34 minutes, for me to attempt to get back before the rain.
Of course that did not happen and I got absolutely soaked to the skin. I tried to take a short cut and ended up pushing Bluey up a muddy hill and, for the first time in weeks, I felt cold.
When I got to Greenfield, looking like I’d just got out of the shower with my clothes on, I should have gone to have a hot shower and take my clothes off. I didn’t, instead I joined Captain Caveman, Multi and René at the bar with a generous glass of red wine and then shared the fresh spring rolls with the guys. I finally showered and noticed my thighs were chafed from cycling in the rain in flimsy shorts. I ended up drinking a bottle of red wine and ate my delicious dinner. Ngan had prepared meatballs with veggies, steamed rice, peanuts and beef Lalot with water melon for afters and I really enjoyed it.

Phong Nha – 23rd & 24th April

Captain Caveman was busy on the morning of Tuesday 23rd April. He had another day off so he went to Oxalis first thing, was sorting out tips and then getting a haircut and shave. I went to join Amanda and Greg for their last breakfast in Phong Nha, at the Mountain House. Amanda’s banana and honey pancakes were so beautifully presented, I had a lovely fruit salad and Greg had a bowl of pho. They each got an extra fruit salad with yoghurt too. I was still feeling a bit delicate and wasn’t sure why, again.
I popped to The Villa’s after breakfast and had a jasmine tea with a matcha tea biscuit on the side and half a litre of water as it was a hot day. Captain Caveman, Tatas and I met back up again in the afternoon at Mountain House to say farewell to the Aussies as they headed to Dong Hoi airport. They would fly to Saigon and have a day there before their flight to Sydney. It was sad to see them go, especially knowing that they had really enjoyed their 4 months off and did not want to leave.
By 6pm I was at Phong Nha Vegan chatting to the owner, Hoan, and eating fresh spring rolls. Captain Caveman had gone to join Hung at the Rice House for dinner where he was trying some new dishes. At around 8.45pm I cycled to The Villas for a glass of red wine and to meet Captain Caveman. I was meant to have a video call with Ma & Pa but by the time we got back to Highway 20 it was 10pm and I didn’t want to disturb the other guests as the walls were thin. Jeff was still around and Captain Caveman had to tell him to make himself scarce when I went in.

On Wednesday 24th April Captain Caveman had the day off but his briefing was at 6pm so we had a few things to get done. It was also weigh day and the 7th Dalyan Fat Club I had missed. Bizarrely, I had put 3cm on my bust, lost 1cm from my waist and put 1cm on my hips. I had no idea what my weight was.
We decided to eat breakfast at Highway 20 Homestay, where we were staying, to give it a try. The lovely Nga brought me hot water for me to make my own Yorkshire tea! I’d not had one for over 2 weeks so it was nice to enjoy one while our pho and omelette was being prepared. It cost 115,000VND (£3.53) for beef noodles for me, an omelette with bread and a black coffee for Captain Caveman.
In the morning, he sorted all the tips out, which took a while. As a treat for lunch, Captain Caveman took me to Ganesh, the Indian restaurant, where we shared onion bhajis, lamb Samosas, chicken tikka starter, saffron rice, takka dahl and a garlic naan bread. It was really delicious and we had some left to takeaway.
To meet the Turkish residency rules and to pay for our balcony woodwork, Captain Caveman transferred me the money and then I would pay our agent, in Turkish lira.
At 3.30pm I had a meeting with a book publisher about getting one or two of my ideas in to print. Claire was really helpful and I really liked her, I think she got my humour and we did have a laugh. Unfortunately, for what I wanted her to do for me to get to the finished, published and illustrated product, it was going to cost me money we didn’t have. I needed another way but I wasn’t sure that I had the skills to be able to self publish it – we would see.
That evening, when Captain Caveman was at Oxalis, I went to Phong Nha Vegan and tried a dish called Bun Tron. It is a cold dish made from rice noodles, ribbons of cucumber, mango and carrot, tofu, lettuce, herbs and peanuts topped with a fake fish sauce. I had it without any chillies. It was a very sweaty night and I had an incident with a cicada which wasn’t too pleasant. It flew at me and went down my top, got scared and clung on to my bra, so much so that the waitress had to come and get it off for me. Captain Caveman came to meet me after his briefing and he had a beer while he waited for me to be ready to go home. It was 9pm when we left the Vegan, it closes at 10pm, and went back to Highway 20 where Dollar barked at me, again.

Photo credit – farewell photos taken with Greg’s camera

Phong Nha – 21st April

On Sunday 21st April Captain Caveman was due out of Son Doong but I’d already arranged to see Amanda and Greg in the afternoon. For a late breakfast I had another fruit salad with yoghurt and granola from Tree House and 2 litres of water to set me up for the heat.
I’d been in touch with Bich to check it would be ok for the 3 of us to go to The Villas for lunch and then use the pool. I’d already mentioned this to Amanda and Greg, saying that if we were eating and drinking plenty they wouldn’t mind. When I arrived they were sat outside looking like 2 kids ready for a trip to the swimming baths. I laughed and then said we could go inside to eat. I asked how Amanda was after eating pork which she’s allergic to and she wasn’t too bad, considering. I ordered a mango lassi and a pho ga, while the Aussies decided to have fried spring rolls for Greg and fresh veggie ones for Amanda.
The rest of the afternoon was spent in the pool, talking to Multi and his kids who were also there to drink and use the pool. I had a soda water with ice and lemon then Captain Caveman arrived back from the cave and in desperate need of a beer and pizza. This year the boss had banned all alcohol on tours so Captain Caveman is often a smidge thirsty when he gets out after 4 days underground. I had a couple of white wines which are 90,000VND (£2.76) each. I’d only been in the pool once and Captain Caveman didn’t have his swimmers or time for a dip as he got picked up at 5.30pm to go to Chay Lap, we said we’d meet him in town later.

As decided yesterday, the Aussies and I went to Lantern restaurant for our dinner. I was happy to give it a try and I decided to see how the veggie Vietnamese pancake was. Amanda decided to order the same and a portion of onion rings. Greg wanted to compare dishes he’d had before so went for fried spring rolls and a pork noodle dish. My food was good but, if I’m honest, I preferred the one from Phong Nha Vegan.
After his gala dinner, Captain Caveman met us at Tree House for drinks where we had the following;
1 water 10,000
1 coke 15,000
1 Huda beer 20,000
1 ginger tea 30,000
1 watermelon juice 35,000
1 Mango Lassi 45,000
1 Strongbow cider 50,000
1 Carrot, Orange & ginger juice 60,000
Total spent 265,000VND (£8.17).
We said our goodnights as Amanda and Greg rode their borrowed bicycles back to Mountain House. Tomorrow was their last full day and night in Phong Nha, so we had plans.

Phong Nha – 7th April

On Sunday 7th April I had been asked by Chung if I would like to meet with her and Hoan, the owner of Phong Nha Vegan, at 8am. There was a new coffee shop opening in Phong Nha and they wanted to go there. I left Captain Caveman in bed with instructions to try to get the room cleaned and see if we could stay one more night.
Hi Coffee looked very nice and they had a cute little dog. I had a herbal tea and, when my friends arrived, they also had tea or juice, not coffee. Today was the opening day so we were there early and it wasn’t too busy yet.
My next stop off was at Tree House for a smoothie bowl breakfast on my way to meet Veronika. I cycled in the warm sun to meet her at Lotus Cafe & Restaurant for our lunch. I ordered the chicken Luk Lak with steamed rice instead of chips and Veronika had the pork ribs with pickled mustard greens. Both dishes were delicious and the waitress gave us a free juice, I also completely forgot to take photos of our food. My meal was 90,000VND (£2.84) which was a good price for the portion size. After, I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, in the sun, to see Captain Caveman.
Meanwhile, back in Turkey, the new rules about staying in a house where the owner wasn’t present were causing issues. It also meant I would no longer be able to pet sit for friends who were going on holiday in July, August or September, which was a bit of a problem for me, as we had tenants in Captain Caveman’s apartment until the end of September. It also meant I couldn’t stay at my parents’ place without them both being present unless I was able to prove I was related to them. Unfortunately, I still have an unrelated surname which would mean getting my birth certificate and marriage certificate, and I didn’t have them in Vietnam or Turkey. I’d not yet got the money together for my return flight either and needed to work out where I could stay until October, if I wasn’t allowed to pet sit in Turkey – another thing on the To Do list!
That evening, Captain Caveman and I cycled to Xin Chao for dinner where I had a really tasty chicken and vegetable fried rice and Captain Caveman ordered the meatball sandwich. We called in to The Villa’s for a cheeky nightcap on the way home. Tomorrow we were off to Dong Hoi in the afternoon so we both packed our bags ready for our next little adventure.

Danang – 1st April

I was hungover on Monday 1st April when Captain Caveman got up early and went down to breakfast without me. After his 3 days of charity cycling, I really didn’t know how he was still able to move. I checked my stats for March on my blog to find that the most popular country was still the UK for my readers, by a lot. Second, as I’d expected, was Turkey but the Netherlands were now a surprising third. Readers from Vietnam were still less than half as many from the Netherlands but I hoped the Vietnamese numbers would increase in April. Today marked the first day of a long term tenancy agreement at Fire Opal in Dalyan and work had started to replace the pergola that had fallen down a few years ago. I paid Aslı, in our apartment complex in Dalyan, 2,350 lira (£58.75) for the new pergola – this was a tenth of the total cost. Our wooden balconies were also getting repaired and replaced so the place was going to look good in a couple of weeks time.
I wasn’t feeling too good and had a dodgy stomach, Captain Caveman brought me back a small croissant and I forced it down with a tea I made in the room. We packed all our stuff and got ready to check out as we were off to stay at Aha Thang Bom apartment in another area of Danang for 1 night. On the way, we popped in to Quang Optic opticians for them to double check my glasses and prescription. I’d found I struggled with distance in buildings such as airports. All was fine but it was to do with the transitional lenses.

By this time it was lunch time and Captain Caveman fancied calling in to one of our favourite places, Olivia’s. My stomach was still dodgy but I was hungry so I took medication and ordered the same as Captain Caveman, a cheese and bacon burger. We had a side salad and chips too so the diet was going very well! The food was amazing and we also got complimentary shots of chocolate vodka before we left. Our lunch bill came to 724,500VND (£22.89) which included the tip.

In the evening Captain Caveman and I met up with Caroline, Vee, Julie and Gareth at Roof Top Bar. My stomach was still bad so I just had water but the others had a few beers. The bill for 13 alcoholic drinks, 1 soft drink and a water was 1,107,450VND (£34.74) which included a tip. Our restaurant of choice for dinner was Pizza 4Ps where we sat outside and ordered pizzas. I just had half of a margarita with burrata and took the rest as a takeaway. Unfortunately, it was our last night together as tomorrow, Captain Caveman and I were off back to Phong Nha as Captain Caveman had to be back at work for his 6pm briefing. I’m not sure of the prices as Caroline paid the bill before we could notice.
Caroline was the first to leave with Vee on a Grab bike, then next were us as I still wasn’t feeling well. Julie and Gareth had another couple of days in Danang before going to Hoi An. It was sad to say goodbye to everyone but we would definitely see each other again in the not too distant future. Back at our accommodation, Captain Caveman was fast asleep by the time I had come out of the bathroom. I had a bit more pizza and then went to bed too.

Saigon Children’s Charity is still accepting donations:

Either direct to their bank accounts – https://www.saigonchildren.com/engage/bank-details/

Or via the donation page –
https://www.justgiving.com/page/adam-spillane-1706519544673?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Fadam-spillane-1706519544673&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-share

Thank you very much; if you have already donated.
If you haven’t donated yet please do, if you can – no amount is too small.
In my opinion 308km of hard hot riding over 3 days is surely worth the cost of a pint!?

Hoi An to Danang – 31st March

Sunday 31st March was a busy and full on day to end the month with. It was also my Dad’s birthday and I hoped I would be able to speak to him later on. Caroline went to 9 Grains Bakery while I packed and tried to finish my Canva course as today was the last day. I didn’t get too far on practising anything as Caroline returned with a little friend; Le’s little boy. She also brought me a tea and a croissant for my breakfast which was good of her.
Captain Caveman was cycling from Hue to Danang today for his last day of the Saigon Children’s Charity Cycling Adventure. We were leaving by car for Danang at 1pm so it was only right that Caroline thought it a good idea to put her bikini on and jump in the shower with Vee, the dog, to give her a good wash. Vee needed to be clean before her girl’s night away at The Sheraton. She was also trying to teach Le’s son how to shower a dog, neither the kid nor the dog seemed keen. Le’s wife arrived to pick up the child but there was almost an incident when the small child decided to scale the balcony side to see the small dog downstairs better. He almost fell over the side, a massive drop, so the mother decided it was time to go.
Caroline and I had a couple of things left on the to do list that we hadn’t got round to doing yet. They were; buying some leather flipflops and trinkets to take to Phong Nha, eating the traditional Hoi An noodle dish of Cao Lau and Caroline wanted me to get my hair chemically straightened at her hairdresser’s. I decided the only one on that list which was feasible was to eat the Cao Lau, so Caroline ordered it to be delivered. It was so tasty and Vee loved us sharing a bit with her, but only the meat. Caroline also decided she needed to give me some unwanted clothes, which I was surprised to find did fit me. But they wouldn’t fit in my rucksack and I had to use a Vietnamese laundry bag.
At 1pm the car was here but, of course, we weren’t quite ready. Jake was staying in the apartment while we were gone and there was still the issue of whether the thumb print door knob would work. By 1.20pm, we were on our way to Danang, to a yet to be confirmed location and finish line for the Saigon Children’s Charity cycle adventure.

Captain Caveman had sent me the map coordinates of where we needed to be for the finish line. This is where Caroline got the car to stop, after we had dropped our bags off at our respective hotels. It was literally in the middle of nowhere on a busy main road. Caroline kept the driver on stand by which was definitely a good thing. I messaged Julie and Gareth so that they could join us and we all waited at a little stall for word from Captain Caveman. After 30 minutes of being sat about, Captain Caveman sent a photo of himself at the top of the Hai Van Pass – he’d made it up the hill! They were waiting for the rest of the cyclists to all get to the top and then they would do the last section, downhill, together. He video called and he looked hot and sweaty but happy he was almost finished. We were told to look out for a bus or wagon which would come to mark the finish line. When we saw the guy on a motorbike with a finishing flag, it was almost too late. Captain Caveman and whoever was in the front were only a minute behind this man and we only just captured the video of them arriving.
It was so hot and all the cyclists made it to the side of the road where Heart of Darkness had provided some beers. I was thirsty and eager to have a drink but I made sure I waited until all the cyclists had one. It was great to see them all so humble but quietly proud they had done it.

Video of Captain Caveman finishing the cycling event

Video of more cyclists finishing

Captain Caveman joined the rest of the group to go to the Nalod hotel to shower and change. Caroline, Vee, Julie, Gareth and I got in the car and went to Maia Beach Bar for drinks. It was a lovely place but, as is the case with a lot of the beach bars in Danang, service wasn’t the best and there was no soap in the toilets. Captain Caveman joined us briefly before he headed off to the end of the event dinner at My Casa. Our next stop for the 4 of us was to Esco Beach bar where we ordered food, and more drinks. Caroline ordered Vee a steak and she was a bit fussy over how it was cooked but ate it. I had a really nice sweet and sour chicken with rice. Caroline ordered seafood, while Julie and Gareth were keen to try some Vietnamese food.
When Captain Caveman rejoined us, he was proudly wearing his medal from the Saigon Children’s Charity Cycling adventure. He was quite merry but pretty tired and we went back to the hotel when the bar closed.
Vee got the best service at the Sheraton hotel, where they really cater well for dogs, so Caroline was really happy. At 12.50 am, it was 6.50pm in the UK so we were able to call my Dad and say ‘Happy Birthday’. I still hadn’t told my parents the news about Captain Caveman’s job at Oxalis finishing this year and it wasn’t the right time to discuss now and spoil Dad’s birthday or a great weekend for Captain Caveman. Hopefully, I would get to speak to them properly once we were back in Phong Nha in a couple of days.

Hoi An – 30th March

On Saturday 30th March Caroline had a treat booked in for us, while poor Captain Caveman was cycling in high heat and humidity from Dong Ha to Hue! Caroline and I had a short trip to Weaver’s Cafe in An Bang with Hawk and Hong for brunch. It’s a cute little cafe run by a Vietnamese woman and her English husband and they do a greasy spoon style English breakfast. Hawk and Hong were already there and he had a pot of Yorkshire tea on the go. Caroline and I ordered a soda water and a pot of Yorkshire tea to share. I obviously ordered the Full English breakfast but without eggs or tomatoes, Hawk and Hong had a chicken salad with poached eggs on top, Caroline had lasagne and chips. Caroline had already paid the bill when I tried to get mine and I don’t remember the prices but it seemed reasonable for western food. The breakfast was good but I knew my body wouldn’t think so and I had a bad stomach before I even left Weaver’s. This didn’t bode well for our next adventure as we were off back to Golden Girls Spa for a 4 hands massage each and I’d booked in for a snatch wax (aka Brazilian).

The massage was amazing and I almost fell asleep, I was also pleased to be able to fit in to the little outfits they gave us, which are normally far too tight for me.
After the massage, Caroline went home to walk and feed Vee, the dog, while I got a very thorough waxing from Caroline’s friend. It was very good but it was a little disconcerting when she complimented my lady garden! She had used the wax that peels off rather than the papers so I was pleased but she didn’t have anything to get the residue off with. There was no time to worry about that as I had to get dressed, pay the 750,000VND (£23.61) for the hour massage and the waxing and meet Caroline at the 3 Dragon’s pub. We had arranged to meet Hawk and Jake there but I was first, closely followed by Caroline. I stuck to water while Caroline drank beers and we had some chicken strips to share. The 3 Dragon’s menu is good but not very Slimming World friendly so I decided having smaller portions was a good idea. Hawk arrived and had a chicken dish and Jake didn’t eat. Another guy, Jack, joined us and we all talked for a while. I could see Caroline was looking a bit tired so I suggested we leave and we said our goodbyes. I paid for our food and drinks which came to about 400,000VND (£12.57) as it was definitely my turn. Back at Caroline’s, we were met with a bit of an issue; her newly fitted thumbprint door access wouldn’t work and we couldn’t get in to her apartment. Jake had been in previously and had also left Vee out on the balcony so she was distressed when Caroline asked the landlord to climb up to get in. He couldn’t get in as Jake had locked that door so he had to climb back down and try the door knob again, and again! When we finally got in, busting for a wee, we stayed up talking and Caroline booked her hotel for tomorrow night – her and Vee were going to stay at The Sheraton hotel, near to Captain Caveman and I, in Danang.

Hoi An – 29th March

While Captain Caveman started his cycle ride from Phong Nha Farmstay on Friday 29th March, I was already begging for mercy a little bit. We’d woken up without any drinking water in the house so Caroline had ordered some to be delivered and gone to 9 Grains Bakery. She wanted me to join her but I needed to shower and I wasn’t ready. Off she went while I revisited Day 2 of the 3 Day Canva course I had started. I was quite happily getting in to it when Caroline returned and started taking her door knob and lock off. She had bought a door knob which only opens with your thumb print and she was looking at how to fix it on. I remember thinking it would be a nightmare for me, my fingers often can’t turn on, off, up or down a ring on the electric hob in Turkey, never mind let me in to my own home when I’ve had a few drinks and am desperate for a wee.
Caroline gave up faffing after a bit and insisted we go back to 9 Grains for lunch. I was hungry as it was almost 2pm so off we went. Jake, a friend, had returned from Cambodia and she’d offered him the use of her motorbike. He’d left his bicycle at 9 Grains and it needed riding back to Caroline’s place. After a chicken, cheese, lettuce and onion sandwich on sourdough, some fruit and a berry juice I tackled the ride back on the busy road. I’m not very confident around traffic and we had a lorry in the way which meant a diversion through the fields, but I made it.
By 4.30pm I was back at the Chiropractor for another session with Dr An and is team. This time they used a giant vibrator on my back, which was pretty nice and I was stretched on the decompression machine, yet again. I was now 2cm taller than I was when I got to Hoi An. Maybe this was a good plan; to report to Fat Club that I’d grown instead of becoming any lighter!

I got changed in to a frock in the toilet after my final chiropractor session. The chiropractor had cost just 250,000VND (£7.90) per session but I’d paid only £15 for about 5 hours’ worth. The crux of my issue was that my thighs and hip muscles were too tight! There wasn’t much time before our next bit of excitement as Caroline picked me up in a golf buggy to drive us to Apggujung Korean BBQ restaurant. Joining us were Dr An, the chiropractor, a customer of his, Hawk and his wife, Hong. Caroline and I were the first there as it started to rain heavily just as we got there and the others were delayed. By the time the 6 of us were seated I’d come to the conclusion that I disliked grape soju, a Korean rice wine. I was also feeling a bit out of sorts after the therapy and was extremely tired. While I was feeling jaded from laying down or resting for most of the day, Captain Caveman had made the 135km from Phong Nha to Dong Ha and was having a beer and some food. Our Korean BBQ was fantastic and definitely one of my favourite meals. I’d paid 850,000VND (£26.87) which included Caroline and I paying for the chiro and his friend’s rice wine. Hawk and Hong, who don’t drink, sensibly left after the meal but the remaining 4 of us went in to town for a bit of a knees up.

I was conscious of money so was going to take it easy. We went to a trendy little cocktail bar next to a temple, where Caroline and the 2 fellas had a few mango daiquiris and I nursed a glass of white wine. They decided to try a new cocktail which Nick (not his real name) and his bar man performed for the customers. It was a red concoction, where fire and gold leaf were involved. My stomach can’t handle normal food so I wasn’t up for swallowing precious metals. We all had a laugh that they were covered in glitter and would be having sparkling shits tomorrow. Dr An picked up the tab for the drinks so I needn’t have restricted myself to 2 drinks, but I didn’t want to be cheeky.
When we tried to get a Grab home, Caroline was a bit tiddly and got a bit annoyed with the Grab motorbike driver who wanted to charge us an expensive 100,000VND (£3.16) and get both of us on the bike at once. Dr An and his friend had a car and tried to offer us a lift which Caroline, for some unknown reason, had declined.
In the end, we couldn’t get another Grab so we both got on the motorbike with (surprisingly) enough room. When we got to her’s she gave him 300,000VND (£9.48), well over the odds, and some words on not ripping foreigners off.
The night didn’t end there, Caroline and I stayed awake, talking, until 4am! We’d had an amazing day and night but tomorrow was my last full day in Hoi An.

Hoi An – 28th March

Caroline and I woke up on Thursday 28th March with Vee still between us on the bed. She’d obviously decided her mom needed guarding or that she was not missing out on the girls’ sleep over. Caroline had no specific plans, as she was feeling unwell still, so we headed to 9 Grains Bakery so that I could have breakfast and she could go to the chemist.
I had an earl grey tea and a fruit salad with yoghurt and granola. While Caroline brought back dehydration sachets of industrial strength and some charcoal tablets, we watched the flour delivery. It looked like a scene from a Pablo Escobar documentary.

Our next stop was for some pampering at Golden Girls Spa, on Phan Boi Chau street in Hoi An. As Caroline (and Vee) are friends with the owners and frequent the place regularly we were given the royal treatment at great prices. Even without mate’s rates, though, the prices and services were good and a pedicure with normal polish was 125,000VND (£3.95). I really enjoyed my pedicure and the leg massage that it included. Vee even got a cute and quick massage too while Caroline had a manicure, a leg and a shoulder massage.

In the late afternoon we were at the Chiropractor where I got more of the same treatment but a bit more of the machines, including an exercise one where my legs were worked.
While we were doing all that, Captain Caveman was over at the Phong Nha Farmstay getting ready for a practice cycle with some of his fellow Saigon Children’s Charity cyclists.
Caroline had needed to pick up her glasses and a pair of trousers she’d had made, which hadn’t been ready yet so she popped off to drop Vee back at home.

The 3 Dragons pub was our choice for a bite to eat, another one on the list of places we’ve visited often. It is a sports bar so we sat outside, hoping to avoid whatever sporting event was on the big screens. I was quite hungry as we hadn’t had time for lunch and it was almost 5pm. I ordered the pork ribs with BBQ sauce and fries and I had a small San Miguel beer which came to a total of 335,000VND (£10.59) and was rather good. Caroline had an Aperol spritz and a burger.

By 7.20pm we had gone to see Caroline’s business partner, Le, at one of his other business ventures. Pho May is a small Vietnamese restaurant, popular with Koreans, where we had a beer each and I had to try the prawn and pork wontons. They were amazing but very filling and our bill was paid for by either Caroline or Le.

Caroline had insisted that Le come meet us after he finished work so, after a quick drink at The Box, we went to Salt pub to meet him. It was very nice, Caroline knew the owner so we chatted for a bit, we had a go on the seesaw (as you do), before going to sit by the beach. We tried to order frozen margaritas but we had a bit of trouble so settled on normal ones. Caroline insisted on getting the bill again which came to 625,000VND (£19.76) for 4 margaritas and a bottle of Huda.

Hoi An – 27th March

In the absence of scales I got up and fished out my trusty tape measure on Wednesday 27th March. Today would be the 3rd Dalyan (Not so) Fat Club I’d not attended, since being in Vietnam. I was missing it but we had a group chat on Messenger that was keeping me going with support from other members and Carol. My pee was the colour of treacle and I was severely dehydrated after yesterday’s overly long journey and the amount of wine I’d had last night. This week my total syn consumption was 352, more than 3 times my allowance, and 197 of those syns were on alcohol. So, I was very surprised with my results this week;
Bust no change and still 1cm under target,
Waist -2cm and back at target,
Hips -1cm and back at target.
It was a miracle but I was already aware this could catch up with me next week!
Captain Caveman topped up my SIM card from Phong Nha but I didn’t know how to get a phone package on so Caroline booked me her Grab driver to come get me. She also met me outside the hotel and we then changed plans. She gave my bag to the driver and asked him to put it in her apartment, he had a key. Then I got on the back of her scooter and we went to 9 Grains Bakery, which she co-owns. Once there, I was treated to a pot of earl grey tea and an amazing pain au chocolat for breakfast. While there, the Grab driver sent a photo of my bag in her house which was so nice. I met Le, Caroline’s business partner, who helped me put a package on my phone. We also met up with Hawk, a fitness guru and motorbike tour guide from the Uk. He and I met years ago through Captain Caveman, we get on well and he’s now one of Caroline’s best mates. It was good to see him and have a bit of English banter. At 11.30am I also got a great cheese, lettuce and onion sandwich on sourdough and a peppermint tea for an early lunch.

Our next adventure was a trip to Mommy Shark, my favourite swimwear shop in Vietnam. Here I bought some more of the cycling shorts with secret pockets at only 245,000VND (£7.73), a green baggy t-shirt at 250,000VND (£7.88), and a black lightweight top for 300,000VND (£9.46). A total of 795,000VND (£25.06) was expensive for my unemployed budget but also necessary if I was going to be travelling by motorbike more often.
We got back on the motorbike and went to Caroline’s house which was really lovely. Vee, the dog, was super cute too and as we walked her, we met the neighbour’s puppy.

Caroline took me with her to her chiropractor later in the afternoon and, while I was there, she paid for me to have a session. It was definitely strange and I had about 90 minutes of Tens machine, manipulation and back stretching on a decompression machine not unlike some kind of horizontal electric chair. Dr An, the chiropractor, recommended I come back for 2 more sessions and could tell I wasn’t quite back to normal from my injury 3 years ago.

That evening we ate at Blue Fin restaurant in An Bang where it was my turn to pay. Here’s what we had;
6 frozen margaritas 380,000
Pulled pork tacos 190,000
1 truffle and mushroom pizza 220,000
1 burger patty and fried egg 75,000
+ Vat 76,800
Total 941,800VND (£29.72).
The food was really good and I really enjoyed it. The burger and egg was for Vee, the dog, who snaffled it down super quick with it being her favourite meal there. Unfortunately, a horny street dog came over and was being a pain so Caroline had to take Vee home and come back. She also wasn’t feeling too good and had a bad stomach. The food and cocktails were excellent but it wasn’t a late night. Caroline and I shared her bed, which was pretty big and we had our own quilt each (game changer when sharing a bed). Vee came on to the bed for a snuggle with an expectation that she would go to her bed after a while but we all fell asleep together.

Phong Nha – 17th March

There was no celebrating of St Patrick’s Day for me in Phong Nha on Sunday 17th March. Captain Caveman, Andrea and I started the day with a lovely breakfast at The Villa’s. The 2 of them had Eggs Benedict and coffees while I had my favourite Vietnamese breakfast, Pho Ga, with Jasmine tea. Here the chicken noodle soup was only 60,000VND (£1.90) and I think it tasted better than others I’d had recently. After breakfast, Andrea checked out of Lucky Homes where we had all had a good stay. We waved Andrea off then went back to bed for a lay down and some forward planning for the rest of March. We had put some laundry in and it was already back, folded nicely too. Captain Caveman booked me a hotel in Hoi An, which was near to the bus station so that it was convenient. I was off to visit Caroline for a week later in the month and was going to get the bus from Phong Nha to Hoi An. Captain Caveman would meet me in Danang after completing his Saigon Children’s Charity cycle event, over 3 days.
Around 4pm we had a saunter by the river to The Villa’s to meet up with our mate, Tatas. Unfortunately, we couldn’t stop long as we had been invited to a family dinner with Mr & Mrs Lucky Homes and 2 other guests. We had a feast and I got to drink fizzy grape juice while Captain Caveman took the rice wines in his stride. We had a lovely evening with great home cooked food and I even got acquainted with Lu and So, the homestay dogs.

Dong Hoi to Phong Nha – 15th March

Captain Caveman and I had plans for Friday 15th March which included our friend, Andrea. She was due to fly from Saigon on the same flight I’d taken 2 days ago, arriving in to Dong Hoi at 9am. We had arranged to meet her at the airport to pick her up and go to Phong Nha. But first, for breakfast we went to Mr Bull’s for Bo Ne again and, while we were there, Andrea messaged to say her flight was delayed. We thought it might be, as there was fog in Dong Hoi.
At 10.15am we were sat in Dong Hoi airport waiting for the flight to come in. I noticed that the cafe sold pho for only 55,000VND (£1.73), which is reasonable.
Once Andrea had arrived, we drove the 50km by private car, which Captain Caveman had booked through Oxalis, to Phong Nha. Captain Caveman had also booked 2 rooms at Lucky Homes for the weekend and we were able to check in before 12 noon, which was nice.

We were given a downstairs family room which was lovely with a massive bathroom. Andrea had an upstairs triple room and I gather we got the last 2 rooms of this perfectly located homestay. We have known Mr and Mrs Lucky Homes for 7 or 8 years, have eaten and drank at their riverside restaurant quite a lot but we’ve never stayed in their homestay. Captain Caveman already rents a room at the Glass House but it wasn’t in an ideal state for me to stay there at the moment so he preferred we stay in other places during my visit.

By 1.30pm Captain Caveman and Andrea were on the Huda beers at The Villas, which is a restaurant within Victory Road Villas hotel, owned by our friends Ben and Bich. I had a jasmine tea, determined not to have beer. The drinks were 30,000VND (95p) each which was still very reasonable given the location and quality of service.

Back at Lucky Homes we borrowed the free bicycles for guests and cycled to Tree House in town. We shared some wine; a bottle of the Francis Gillot red was 400,000VND (£12.79) and the Benjamin Mendy 450,000VND (£14.39) so quite reasonable. I preferred mine warm but Andrea and Captain Caveman popped ice in their red wine!

We cycled back to Lucky Homes to unpack and freshen up but then cycled back again to go out for dinner. Captain Caveman had chosen Ganesh, the only Indian restaurant in Phong Nha, and a massive favourite of ours. We had a feast to share between the three of us. These are the dishes and drinks with prices in Vietnamese Dong;

1 Huda beer 25,000
1 soda water 25,000
Saffron rice 49,000
Vegetable Samosas 60,000
Garlic Naan bread 60,000
Onion bhajis 85,000
Taka Dahl 98,000
Chicken 65 115,000
Chicken Tikka 120,000
1 bottle of red wine 270,000
Total spent 907,000VND (£29.00)

I’ve not had an Indian meal for a while so I wasn’t sure if that was good value but it seemed it to me and there was more than enough food for the 3 of us – we even took some back to the homestay.
On our way back we had to have a couple of drinks at The Villas again for good measure. Andrea and I had margaritas which were still as good as I remembered them, 180,000VND (£5.78) each. Captain Caveman had gin and tonic. It’s worth noting that the bar closes at 10pm and we were certainly pushing that deadline a little as we paid up and went off to get some sleep. I didn’t know it at the time but Andrea and Captain Caveman had plans to wear me out tomorrow.