I managed to work for 5 hours on Sunday 28th July so that I’d done 35 hours this week, as I only did 17.5 last week. I was back on track but I did feel like I was never drinking again when I woke up. I had tea and a toasted tea cake for breakfast and I was astonished to see Dad was fine. He had no recollection of him being a handful last night and he wasn’t hungover! Mom was still mad with him for being so drunk. I could see he’d been so excited to be out that he’d overdone it. I read in the Vietnam news that the train I’d got from Dong Hoi to Danang, and one Captain Caveman gets fairly often had a carriage come off the track and people were evacuated. I also messaged Captain Caveman to help me with sorting out how I was going to get to my next stop off. Claire had invited me down south to stay with her for a week and was initially going to pick me up but there were dog arrangements which prevented this. I was a bit concerned that I had a 20kg suitcase as well as 8kg of hand luggage (including a wine bucket!) to cart through the London underground and I would struggle. Captain Caveman recommended the National Express which he had got as it avoided the tube and I could get a train from London Victoria, straight to Sevenoaks, where Claire lived. It was also a lot cheaper than the train so I left him with it to book my tickets for me. I had a cheese toastie for lunch and carried on with work until 3pm. In the afternoon we had a little reunion for Briony planned at The Phoenix in Ridgeway. Sara had managed to get some of the old Aviva Sales Support team out and I’d invited Paz from the Berlin 10 crowd. My parents walked as far as the back of the Ridgeway Arms with me and, when they turned back, I continued on to The Phoenix. I was the first there so I got a drink at the bar. I was still feeling quite delicate and the walk up the big hill had not helped with my dehydration. I decided to have a pint of water with cordial which cost £1.85 and went to find a seat outside. It was so busy inside and only 3 or 4 tables left outside but it was 4.30pm on a Sunday. First to arrive were Sarah Saynor and Mick. Sarah had not changed a bit in either looks or mannerisms as she flicked her hair and told me she’d just had an expensive hair cut but still wanted to do her fringe herself! Mick was still the same funny bloke and was only slightly older looking and had filled out a bit more (Sarah’s words, not mine). Next to arrive in the taxi together were Sara, Helen and Briony. As they walked over to the table, it was like I’d been transported back in time to when we all worked together in Nick Reynold’s face to face team. We all hugged and got drinks, I was still sipping my cordial while the others were on it. I just couldn’t face any alcohol after yesterday’s party. Paz arrived and I instantly remembered that they all worked in the same building now at Aviva. I also realised that my old team may just be a bit ‘too much’ for Paz to take, on a nice relaxing quiet Sunday. It was great to see Paz and she looked so well, she’d driven all the way over just to catch up which was lovely. The conversation topics got more and more crude as the day went on and we all had some funny memories to share with each other. Once again I was in a position where I didn’t really get to speak to anyone one on one but we did have some laughs reminiscing of some of the tangles we all used to get ourselves in. It turned out that I was still remembered for forcing my team on to terrible low budget team building events (camping) as well as hiring a boogie bus to a Christmas party. That boogie bus stank of debauchery which really wasn’t pleasant on the way back in to work the following morning. They also took the mickey out of the time I drunkenly agreed to play my violin at Briony and Shaun’s wedding, thinking I was only doing the wedding march but the CD player wasn’t working and I had to improvise without any written music. Our cheeks hurt from so much laughing and we had a great time! After saying bye to everyone and walking home through the field path just as it was getting dark, I noticed it was quite cold but I had Captain Caveman’s down jacket on. When I got in at 9.30pm, having had no alcohol at all, I was a bit peckish so I made myself some noodles with chicken and vegetables, then went to bed.
Gayle & Neil were throwing a party for April’s 18th birthday on Saturday 27th July from 2pm. My parents and I were all excited and there was talk of what we were wearing, how we were getting there and even which door we would be leaving from. I carried on trying to get as much work done as possible but I could tell Dad was excited to be going. Before we left for the walk up the hill, wearing sandals, out of the garage door, I had some beans on toast (I was too busy for breakfast) and had a quick video call with Captain Caveman who had returned from the cave yesterday. At Gayle and Neil’s we were unfashionably bang on time and the birthday girl was still getting ready. It wasn’t her actual birthday yet so we put the presents and card on a table to be opened another time and admired the lengths my sister had gone to, to trim up the house. It reminded me of when I see American’s having a party as there were nicely arranged balloons and a light up massive number 18 in the living room. The table was ladened with treats and nibbles, outside was fizz in an ice bucket and more garlands/swathes of balloons on the pergola. The kitchen was jam packed with so much food that I wondered who was coming to ‘the small party just for close family’. We all had a glass of champagne, avoiding the larger champagne flutes which Gayle went for. April came out to say hello and fixed herself an Aperol spritz while Gayle, in her lovely summery dress, wrestled with Sumo, the dog, over a cardboard box for empties. Morgan and her boyfriend, Harry, joined April and Harley and I got to meet Harry for the first time. I was already eyeing up the beautifully presented charcuterie board and macaroons while I helped myself to a top up of Prosecco. By 3.20pm I was in the kitchen videoing the extravaganza as Gayle did some last minute preparation while chatting on. There was lots of red wine I noticed too and I was intrigued as to what the shell full of blue balloons was for – maybe a party game was coming later!
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Video of all the food in the kitchen
Neil’s parents, Susan & David, and their 2 dogs arrived who I don’t think I’d seen since Gayle and Neil got married over 20 years ago. I got Sue a fizz, Dave was driving, and the adults went to sit on the decking area while I chatted about music with the kids. I noticed Gayle had accidentally on purpose got herself a bit tiddly with the extra large champagne flute of champers and she flashed her knickers. She decided that she would take her dress off as she was too cold. Just as we were getting comfy there was a bit of excitement as it was time to have a go on the piñata. Much hilarity ensued and the funniest people to have a go were my Dad and Neil. Poor Neil seemed like he might’ve been working out some stress or anger and we all couldn’t stop laughing!!!
April, before the piñata bashing started
April V Piñata
Dad V Piñata
Neil V Piñata (1)
Neil V Piñata (2)
Jill and Rita, our aunties, arrived just after we had finished the piñata. They brought their new dog, Seacole, who joined Sumo, Milly and Holly. Neil was on with the massive BBQ mission and the food was fantastic. My diet was once again on hold as I wolfed down a burger and a hot dog. I got caught out by the chillies in the rice and had to have more Prosecco to get over it. By this time Dad had switched up to a larger champagne flute and I noticed Mom had slowed down on the booze. I went on to red wine as I ploughed through the cheeses and meats. Around 7.30pm I realised we hadn’t taken any birthday photos so we did our best to get a few group and individual photos. Of course, I took so many where Dad was messing about and would not face the camera.
Gayle had done some games, with prizes, to see how well we knew April with some hilarious answers that even April didn’t know. It was funny and tricky to concentrate as Sumo had taken a romantic interest in Seacole and we had to keep them separate which was hard to do. Harley did a really good music quiz and I teamed up with Neil and Jill. We did well but didn’t win, which was a shame. It was easily gone 9pm by the time any one left and my sister dished out food to take away as they had so much left. It would have been prudent for my parents and I to have taken a doggy bag and walked home too but we’re not well known for having sensible family shindigs. Gayle had asked us before we came if we wanted to stay over and my Mom had said no. I also had to work tomorrow so would rather get a good night’s sleep and be up early at my parents’ house, where my laptop was. Some sausages were warmed up for a midnight snack and I knew Dad was drunk when he ate 2, with onions on, and didn’t mention eating late or indigestion. Mom and I also had a hot dog and I had another red wine. As Dad was getting more merry I could see that Mom was considering staying over but she didn’t want me to walk home on my own and I couldn’t because she knew the alarm system which was on and I didn’t. To me, it seemed silly for me to stay over to wake up really early tomorrow morning to go to my parents’ house to still not be able to go in because of the alarm so I insisted I would leave that night. I didn’t realise it would take so long to walk home as Dad kept trying to walk on the road and take his sandals off. Mom was in a right mood with him and it was such hard work trying to get him to walk home properly without putting himself in danger. We eventually got in and messaged Gayle to say we made it in one piece (only just, for Dad) and I was gutted we forgot our leftovers. 12 hours after the party started, I was finally in bed having had a great day and night.
Briony’s plane was delayed by at least a couple of hours on Thursday 25th July so I got on with work until I heard from her to set off to go to meet her. I’d also bought a bottle of pink prosecco and a punnet of strawberries to welcome her for just £10 from M&S. I knew she’d be jetlagged and possibly hungover or hungry. Louisa was on standby to meet as she had the day off and we were all just waiting excitedly on Briony’s arrival. I eventually went to the Mercure hotel to meet Briony and she looked so good. America had been kind to her, her hair was a different colour and looked great. She had got a taxi from the train station as her suitcase was so heavy. We drank some Prosecco and ate a few strawberries as we messaged Louisa to say to come join us. She had missed a bus so had to drive and we said we would meet her at the car park. As we shared how excited we were to be drinking tap water again, Louisa was on her way and we walked towards a strange looking multi story car park. It was very windy and really cold for both me and Briony so we messaged Louisa to say we had gone to find a warm pub. Once again, I found myself in town looking for a pub that was open in the day time on a Thursday. Briony and I could only remember the Benjamin Huntsman as we’d had many a cheap drink in there over the years so we headed there. I dont think Louisa was enamoured with the choice of bar but Briony and I were very pleasantly surprised. You can pay cash, they have wine on tap and the prices are good as it’s a Wetherspoons. This time it was Briony’s turn to go for a pie, I chose the curry deal that is on the Thursday Curry Club and I had the spinach and chickpea curry with rice, poppadoms and a naan bread, plus another wine for £11. Louisa went for a coke, some chicken nuggets and onion rings and ordered it all on an App where the order arrives, miraculously, to your table. Time went too fast as my alarm went off to tell me I needed to go get the bus. I’d arranged to meet Chris & Amanda at The Alma tonight so I needed to get back. I said my goodbyes with promises of meeting up again and hurried for the bus. I got to The Alma a bit late, Amanda and Chris were already there and had got the drinks in, including for my parents who I joined along the walk from the bus stop. They remembered what we drank which was really kind but they hadn’t brought the dogs this time. We had a great catch up and such a laugh trying to remember everyone we used to work with back in my Aviva days. It was such a good couple of hours and I was a bit tipsy by the time we left to go for fish and chips at Tony’s. We only just made it to the chip shop before it closed, too. My parents took their’s back home but I joined Chris and Amanda as I wanted to see the dogs and Amanda had some clothes for me to try on. The dogs were so fussy but soon calmed down when they saw me putting a bit of fish to one side for them to have when I had finished my dinner. The fish and chips are just so good and it’s a good job I don’t live in that area as I would be too tempted to eat them more often. Trying clothes on after fish and chips and several ciders wasn’t the best idea but I went for it. Amanda knew I’d been feeling the cold and had no clothes with me so gave me 3 pairs of jeans, a T-Shirt, a shirt and a jumper. I loved the clothes and they all fit really well so I was happy. Downstairs I caused havoc when I threw the ball for the dogs in the lounge, which isn’t allowed so it was time to leave before Bruno or Ted damaged something.
On Friday 26th July I was working very early so that I could finish at lunch time. The jeweller at Crystal Peaks had let me know that they needed to send my G-Shock watch off to be fixed and it could take up to a month to come back but would most likely be as good as new for £60. I agreed and he asked me to call in to get the necessary paperwork and receipt so that my Mom could collect it when it was fixed. While we were at Crystal Peaks, Mom picked up a couple of things and then I popped to Beres sandwich shop. I got 3 roast pork sandwiches for £3.90 each and we took them home for lunch. Dad was in a better mood on our return this time, but we hadn’t been out long. I carried on with some work emails until it was time to meet Briony. Even though she didn’t have a phone SIM while in the UK, she had decided she would chance getting on a bus to Mosborough and I would meet her at the bus stop. It was a nice day, my parents had already gone for a walk so they had declined to come and meet Briony with me. She managed the bus fine and we had a wander around Mosborough while chatting. It was just like old times even though it was now 10 years since her and husband had got married, then moved to the USA. We walked via the kid’s park then we had a drink in the British Oak where we sat outside but got moved due to a private party coming at 4pm when it was 2.30pm. The round of 2 halves came to £6.40 and it was quite pleasant sat outside chatting about anything and everything. Our next stop was at The Alma beer garden where 2 pints came to £9.60 and the weather was pretty nice. We turned the Mosborough walk in to a pub crawl and finished off at Craftworks. Here we discovered the Fuggle Bunny Jammy Dodger ruby ale which was only £2.60 for ⅔ of a pint. We had 2 of these each and then missed the bus Briony was thinking of getting. After seeing Briony on to the later bus, I walked home to find Mom had saved me some dinner, another favourite of chicken fajitas. We had also forgotten about the strawberries and cream we bought in Sainsbury’s so I had some of those saved for me too. I’d really enjoyed today but as the weekend approached, I still needed to fit in a bit more work this week to make up for doing a few hours less last week.
While Captain Caveman had gone back in to his next Son Doong cave tour on Tuesday 23rd July, I did a morning of work. I had Shreddies and a cup of tea for breakfast and cracked on until just before lunch time. My Mom had kindly offered to take me to Crystal Peaks so that we could do a bit of shopping. We called at the Charity shop for me to drop off a load of old CDs which I was getting rid of from the loft stuff. When we got there, one of the boxes was of my own photos – it was a good job it was spotted and I put them back in the boot. Our first stop was Asda supermarket where I bought the following; 2 packs of Ibuprofen 0.78 Pickled onions 1.00 Crisps 1.35 Midget Gems 1.35 Posh crisps 1.50 Dairy Milk 1.75 Birthday card 2.28 4 packet mix sauces 3.05 2 blocks of cheese 5.50 Sleeveless play suit 10.00 Total spent £28.56
I would have bought more clothes there but there were no changing rooms and I put most of the stuff I’d picked up, back on the shelves. Next, we drove to the Crystal Peaks shopping centre and had some lunch. Mom chose MacDonald’s for the quickest and I paid as a treat, seeing as my parents had been feeding me and putting me up for almost a week now. I’d also dropped the bombshell that I was planning to stay another 2 weeks too. I was surprised that it wasn’t more expensive to be honest as it was only £12.78 for a chicken sandwich meal and a Big Mac meal. I was able to order at the counter and also was successful in getting Mom’s meal without mayonnaise. My diet was already screwed and I actually enjoyed my meal which had hot chips. With full bellies, we went to look at clothes in Sainsbury’s where Mom and I picked up loads of bargains. Again, there were no longer any changing rooms so Mom and I decided to try stuff on over our clothes on the homewares aisle so that we could look in the mirrors. This was a great idea until halfway through our activity, lots of customers suddenly needed the mirrors and book sections of the store! Mom and I couldn’t stop laughing. Here’s what I bought at Sainsbury’s, prices in £;
Single cream 0.99 400g strawberries 2.00 1 vest top 3.00 Socks 3.50 1 mouse (for laptop) 5.99 Printed long sleeve play suit 6.00 Blondie T-shirt 9.80 2 bottles of Prosecco 13.50 Total spent £44.28
I was pleased with my purchases and even had some size 12 items which actually fitted. The next shops were to look for a birthday gift for my niece’s 18th birthday and I had a bit of an idea. On the way, mom and I found a 2025 diary in the market for £1 and bought one each. I took my G-Shock watch to the jewellers to see if they could fix it and the nice young man in F. Hinds said they would have a look. I bought a couple of trinkets in Card Factory for £3.49 and then found a useful gift for April. I decided an Air Tag with matching key ring so that she can connect it to her keys and track with her phone. I did keep the receipt in case it wasn’t suitable. Back home, Dad was out of sorts and moody but I’m guessing it was because we had been out having fun without him. We had invited him but he didn’t want to come and even when Mom cooked a nice dinner he was being a bit odd and wouldn’t speak to us. I did more work in the afternoon while mom chopped the vegetables. Dinner was amazing and we had pork with vegetables – I was on 558 syns for the week, though, so I was definitely going to have put on weight tomorrow.
I got weighed on my parents scales on Wednesday 24th July to find I had put on just 0.15kg (0.3lb). This was amazing, given the amount of eating and drinking of unhealthy proportions I had been doing. My measurements were not quite as lenient but still not what I was expecting or deserved; Bust and waist – no change, Hips +3cm! I sang ‘My Hips don’t Lie’ by Shakira and decided the prawn fried rice I’d forgotten about yesterday would be an ideal breakfast choice. I also calculated my spending and really needed to reign it in a bit. I’d got some foreign currency but I really wanted to save that to meet my minimum amount for residency in to my Turkish bank account. I knew August was going to be my tightest month in a while and September would be the highest for paying for stuff. I worked from 8am until 1pm as Ma & Pa had invited me out for a walk with them. Compared to when they are in Dalyan, they don’t really go out to pubs much so this was going to be a nice treat for them. They had suggested we go on a walk, as the weather was still fairly nice, to Ridgeway and have a late lunch at The Bridge Inn. The walk there was lovely and when we got to the bar I ordered a Guiness but the pump wasn’t working, so I asked for cider and that was off too. Remembering I had tried Madri lager before, I had that and we sat down to peruse the menu. I chose unwisely for my Slimming World plan, with a steak and ale pie, Mom went for steak and Dad plumped for salmon. When the food came, it was so delicious and I loved that pie! We were joking about fitting in a pudding as I was stuffed but Mom ordered me a sticky toffee pudding and Dad an apple pie. I thought she would share mine but she didn’t but I did manage to eat it all – it was amazing! The prices weren’t bad either; my pie was £12.95, Mom’s steak was £19.50 and Dad’s salmon £16.95. The puds were £5.95 and £6.50 which were the most expensive desserts on the menu but they were huge portions and really should’ve been shared. The pump was back on so Dad and I got a cider to round off a brilliant lunch which my parents very kindly treated me to. Back home, we rounded off the afternoon with wine. At dinner time, I was too full for anything proper so I opened the pickled onions I’d bought and had them with some cheese and a mini sausage roll. Tomorrow I had more excitement planned as my friend, Briony, was currently on a flight from America and we had planned to meet up in Sheffield.
I had arranged to meet my friend, Louisa, on Monday 22nd July so I worked 9am to 2pm, while she was sleeping after her night shift. Mom was a bit disappointed that she had got all my belongings out of the loft but I had still not gone through them to throw them away yet. I promised I would later in the week because she wanted to take stuff to charity/the tip or put it in the bin. I knew I had paperwork going back over the last 7 years which my Mom had said I could use her shredder to get rid of it all. The Pampered Chef wine bucket which I purchased about 10 years ago was still amongst the tranklements, having never made it in to anyone’s suitcase or hand luggage over the years. I was as annoyed at not having it Turkey as my Mom was at still having it at her place, so I decided I was taking it back this year – even if I had to take it as a handbag! Ma had gone out to meet a friend for lunch so Dad was going to be left home alone, probably reading a book or playing his guitar. I had a cheese sandwich with salt & vinegar crisps for lunch. I got the 2.30pm bus to town and walked to The Moor to meet Louisa outside Primark. I needed something to sleep in, and some clothes to wear but I wasn’t entirely sure what. Once in the shop, I was surprised how empty it was and Louisa reminded me that since Covid a lot of shops were suffering as more people continued to work from home and were buying things online. I found it difficult to buy anything there as I’m no longer in touch with fashion and found the flowery things with frills on were just hideous and something that did not suit me at all. By 4pm we were in the paying queue and I had myself a new outfit for less than £15. Here’s what I bought, prices in English pounds;
Primark Leopard print flip flops £0.50 Hair bobbles £1.00 Red & white flip flops £1.30 Black leggings £4.00 Red dress £8.00 Total spent £14.80
Our next stop off was for a drink at The Furnace, round the back of a sadly closed Debenhams. We had a pint of Madri lager, a first for me (but wouldn’t be my last) and I hadn’t heard of it before. It’s weird that even being away for just 2.5 years that the beers available on the draft pumps in bars are unfamiliar to me. After one drink in there, we decided to walk to a place that had been added to my list of places to visit. The owner of the Milestone restaurant on Green Lane, Matt, had been forced to close up during Covid. He had now opened the largest food court in Europe (apparently) called Cambridge Street Collective. Once inside it was a bit overwhelming as there are so many different food stalls from all over the world. I’ve never tried food from Eritrea or Ethiopia but, me being fussy, we decided to choose something I knew I’d like. We found a little gyoza/dumpling place first and had a starter. Louisa was super whizzy at ordering things on a QR code and an app. A lot of places didn’t like cash so this worked ok but I was finding it a bit too laborious, especially as my GiffGaff SIM didn’t have any signal in the building. The starter was lovely and then we had a walk around. I went to the toilet and got a bit confused when there was a man in there but it turns out that the toilets are not separated by gender any more. Very modern but slightly off putting as I had to put the seat down and clean pee off the seat before I could go. My guess is the men were complaining there were no urinals and they had to lift the seat up. Most people that came in to the toilets thought they were in the wrong ones and did a double take each time they saw a person of the opposite sex, which was funny. It took us a while to decide what to eat next but Louisa had something from Gyros Express, a gyros with pitta and chips which looked amazing. I decided on Asia Thai Street Food where I got a bit excited and ordered a Pad Thai and a prawn fried rice to share with Louisa. I had a pint of cider and Louisa stuck to the Madri lager and the prices (in £) are below.
Cambridge Street Collective 1 pad Thai 1 prawn fried rice Total spent £16.50
1 pint of cider 1 pint of lager Total spent £11. 10
Unfortunately, when I saw the size of Louisa’s Gyros, I knew we wouldn’t eat the prawn fried rice so I asked if we could have a box for takeaway. Surprisingly, they do not do takeaway so I had to pinch a paper cup from a closed coffee stall and cram the rice dish in to it. I thought I would take it home and have it tomorrow for breakfast. After a lovely afternoon and evening out it was time to make our way to our respective buses.
On Saturday 20th July the weather was glorious which was a shame as I was catching up on work, having taken yesterday off. I’d done 2 hours work before Ma got up and I was having Shreddies and a cup of Yorkshire tea for breakfast. Ma and Pa had no set plans for the weekend but we were thinking we might see Gayle and family as Neil, her husband, was back from working in Scotland. Ma got the washing out as the sun was out and ideal for getting the bedding dry. Lunch time bacon sandwiches from Mom were much appreciated even though I was on 50% more syns than at the same time last week. I managed to get 7 hours of work under my belt before the garden furniture cushions needed putting out. Gayle was popping over for a cup of tea but I knew what that really meant. Dad had already been checking the wine stocks in each fridge. Captain Caveman was getting his flight from Heathrow at 5pm and had already checked in when Gayle arrived with cakes for the cup of tea. I don’t think she even got offered a tea as I cracked open the Prosecco, another thing on the must do list. We all sat outside, ate the cakes, drank the fizz, went on to the other wine and then started snacking on mini cheddars or Seabrook’s salt and vinegar crisps. There was discussions about an impromptu BBQ or pizza for dinner but with Gayle being coeliac Ma wasn’t sure if she had any suitable foods in. She decided we should ring Neil and the kids and see if they fancied an Indian at The Vine in Mosborough. Before Dad could enquire about whether he should open the Chardonnay, we were booked in and it was all systems go as we needed to get there. April was working and couldn’t make it, but Morgan and Neil didn’t need asking twice.
The Vine was absolutely packed full and we had been lucky to get a table for the 6 of us. The food was amazing, both Gayle and I tried something different due to us being a bit tiddly. We all had drinks, starters, mains and sides and it came to £35 per person, which was the most expensive meal I’d paid for so far but I did get a really good doggy bag to take home and I’d thoroughly enjoyed my 4th curry in the 12 days of being in England.
It was Captain Caveman’s last day off on Sunday 21st July as he landed in Saigon just before midday. He had his next Oxalis briefing tomorrow evening and I think he was happy to be going back for his final few weeks of this year’s season. The UK is 6 hours behind Vietnam so he had already landed before I woke up. There was some issue with his flight from Saigon to Dong Hoi that afternoon being cancelled, meaning he had to stay overnight in Saigon. I was a bit hungover and I just had tea and toast for breakfast. I’d been invited to a music event in Leopold Square in Sheffield but I was working today so I declined. My parents were invited but they prefer not to go in to town and didn’t accept either. For lunch I had my left over curry which was still as delicious as last night. For dinner Mom cooked pizzas and garlic bread which were very nice but I was now on 430 syns for the week already and it was still Sunday. At 7.15pm I met my friend, Kerrie, who I hadn’t seen for 2.5 years but it felt like longer. I was still hungover and she was driving so I had a nice cup of tea and then we went on to the alcohol free Erdinger beer which was only £3.50 for 500ml. We had a good catch up and a laugh while reminiscing and then it was time to say bye but with plans to meet up again. I wrote down Kerrie’s availability for the next week or so which I could refer to as she’s usually such a busy person. It wasn’t a late one as we both had work in the morning and I’d got plans to go clothes shopping in the afternoon.
It was crumpets for breakfast with a hangover on Friday 19th July. Last night had really been so good, I had no regrets and I was a bit sad to be seeing Captain Caveman off today. He decided it would be a good idea for us to go into town early so we could get some lunch, our last meal together before I met him in Turkey in just over 10 weeks’ time. It was time for him to say farewell to my parents but they would also be in Turkey when he returned. My Mom mentioned that there was some global IT system outage and we dismissed her when she suggested that the buses may be affected because of it. Leaving me with a suitcase half full of his clothes and shoes, we went for the 10.55am bus in to town. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn up until 11.22am and then it had a driver being trained by a gobby woman from Chesterfield who was doing nothing for my hangover! We’d gone about 6 or 7 stops and when we had to stop at Birley and wait for a mechanic. The Chezzy trainer shouted to us all that we would just be 2 minutes as they needed to fill up the water. Unfortunately, this was not true and 2 buses, which we could have got on to, sailed past. Captain Caveman’s National Express bus to London Victoria was leaving Sheffield at 12.45 pm so now we didn’t have time to go anywhere for lunch. Instead, when we got to town we rushed to Marks & Spencer’s – our first walk on Fargate and we were shocked at the state of it. Captain Caveman got himself a Roast Beef sandwich (£3.90) and an Orange & Mango juice (£2) but we didn’t have time for me to choose or even fathom what you can get in a meal deal these days. Captain Caveman was determined to have a coffee from Macdonald’s on our way back to the bus station. It was £1.59 for a double Espresso and you buy it by touching a massive screen and paying on card , which felt weird to me. Then you still went to the counter to collect it but there were staff stood around and no customers at the till. On the way to Pond Street there were a few too many obvious druggies around and it was so noticeable. At the National Express bus, it was busy with the driver faffing about with a ramp user who he had left to sit in his wheelchair in the bright sun for too long. I said my goodbyes to Captain Caveman and he did remember to give me a kiss and a hug this time, which was nice! I waved the bus off and then went to get my bus ‘home’ which was meant to be at 1pm but was late. This was fortunate as I had time to buy my lunch from WH Smith where I took advantage of the meal deal, thinking I was getting a bargain. I had a chicken wrap, some salt ‘n’ vinegar Walker’s crisps and a juice for £5.99 and it was nowhere near as good as a M&S sandwich. The bus finally arrived at 1.14pm and the young chirpy driver explained that my Mom was correct and the world had come to a bit of an IT related standstill. He had a giant sippy cup of Yorkshire tea and was ready for the abuse from all the passengers he was late for. Back home, my parents decided it had heated up enough for some outdoor lounging, drinking and eating. I helped Dad move the garden furniture and put out the cushions, a job that would become more frequent over the next few days. Ma made a curry and Dad got the wine out, but not the Chardonnay that was in the garage fridge – he was saving that. The chicken bhuna was excellent and Ma even surprised us with a couple of naans and some onion bhajis. The Pinot Grigio went down well too and it was nice to be out in the garden still at 8.30pm in a summer dress and not complaining I was cold!
It was Captain Caveman’s last full day with me in England on Thursday 18th July and it was also his birthday. I’d organised for us to celebrate later but he wanted to keep any plans casual which was proving a bit tricky. It was only 18°C at 9am as I had my tea and toast then got on with work for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, I had some bad news; my parents did not drink Yorkshire tea but I’d thought all this time that they did. They had been fans of Tetley it appeared and even had the Tetley teabags bought in bulk. It was a good job I’d brought my own, all the way from Vietnam and Turkey! Captain Caveman got all his stuff together and was leaving for London tomorrow afternoon by bus. Before midday we were bus wankers once again as we ventured in to town for some birthday fun. The bus fare from Mosborough to Sheffield city centre, which is 12km and takes about 20 minutes usually, cost us £2 each, one way. My parents had declined our invite to join us as they don’t like to go in to town if they can help it, even though they both have free bus passes, and they don’t particularly like to go out drinking in Sheffield these days. On the bus I got some messages and photos of the pool from Captain Caveman’s apartment complex which could’ve been taken on any given day and reused but he seemed to think he was on top of things now – I was still dubious. We got off the bus near the train station and headed to a cafe on Brown Street, I noticed Spearmint Rhino was no longer! I just had a soda water and Captain Caveman had a coffee as it was one of those fancy places that serves smashed avocado and I wasn’t keen so we didn’t stay. Instead we walked up towards The Moor where 2 sleeping tramps and a dog were almost blocking the door to Beres sandwich shop. We both had a pork sandwich and went to sit on a bench to eat it, as it was now sunny. My first pork sandwich since being back in England cost £3.60. It was so tasty and was another thing off our must do list. We walked through Leopold Square where Strada had now become another restaurant called Pho. I checked out the menu to find a Pho Ga (chicken noodle soup) was priced at a whopping £12.25 which, compared to £1.82 for a posh one in Victory Road Villas, Phong Nha, was absolutely shocking! We walked up West Street and along Division Street spotting new places like Glass Onion and Pieminister as well as old favourites The Frog & Parrot and the Devonshire Chippy. No cars are allowed on the road now so it seemed odd to see people sat outside the pub but on the road. There were a lot more drug addled homeless people around too, and I was shocked to see drugged up women who looked like they were desperate for a wash. At the clothing bank, I wondered why all the clothes were spread out on the floor but maybe it was for the homeless to be able to use them. As it was lunchtime on a Thirsty Thursday, we tried to go to a pub for a drink but not many were open, including another old favourite, The Bath, which didn’t open until 4pm – on a Thursday!! We unsuccessfully tried a couple of other pubs which were either not open, closed down or had the decorators in. The Forum was still going strong so we went in there but I just had a pint of water, which was completely free (more on that later) and Captain Caveman had a pint. We had a critter join us which I didn’t like but Captain Caveman persuaded me to be friends with it and we saved it by giving it some water, then it ended up in the hair of a recently graduated female with a partial tit hanging out. We decided to walk towards Kelham Island as, surely, pubs there would be open and it might be a bit more classy!?
Today was also the day of Captain Caveman’s friend’s funeral. Sid Perou, from England but living in Thailand, was a famous caver and filmmaker who had sadly passed away. We’d last met up with Sid, his wife and his grandson in May last year and he was a really fascinating and lovely man. Captain Caveman and I were of course upset by this news, Captain Caveman in particular, and he had planned to mark the evening by joining some cavers at The Cobden View pub. The Sheffield University Speleological Society (SUSS) meet there on a Thursday, right at the same time that I’d arranged a small gathering of friends to help Captain Caveman celebrate his birthday. We decided Captain Caveman would go to the Cobden View but I would go to meet everyone at Kelham Island. After the caving night, Captain Caveman would join us. In the meantime, we had stopped off at The Shakespeare for a pint on the way to Kelham Island, we both had a pint and a packet of Salt and Vinegar Discos to share. We had a walk round Kelham Island to find a few of the pubs were closed but we ended up in The Millowners Arms where I had another pint of water. I was feeling a bit dehydrated after last night and thirsty after walking in Sheffield which is far more hilly than I’m used to. To my surprise, the water was free again and I was absolutely loving being able to drink tap water whenever I liked – it was so amazing! Next, we decided to call in to the bar I had arranged to meet everyone in later tonight. I’d been to Salt before but it turned out that Captain Caveman hadn’t, as we ordered 2 on-tap cocktails for a total of £12.30. My Pornstar Martini was a bit too sweet but Captain Caveman’s Espresso Martini went down well. We also tried a gyoza snack for £4.50 which was tiny but tasty. Our next stop ended up being Craft & Dough with other choices not being open and Captain Caveman was getting a bit peckish. We decided to order a pizza to share and he had another pint of beer while I went to the loo. When I came out I went to order a pint of water and asked the barman how much it was. I never knew this but, all licensed premises in England and Wales are required by law to provide ‘free potable water’ to their customers upon request. He explained that it was illegal not to give free tap water out when asked and I was so impressed with this law. I also ordered a beer as I thought it was a good idea and we were going to be meeting a few people who were finishing work soon.
Captain Caveman and I met Tony and Paul first at 6pm at the Kelham Island Tavern. Tony was drinking from a glass labelled Left Handed Giant which might be his new nickname. Becca was also already there just as we arrived as she’d got an Uber in to town. As we tried to work out how long it had been since our last rendezvous (too long!) and who knew who from where, the beers flowed. Luan, Drexy and Jeff arrived as Captain Caveman left to go to the SUSS meet up. More reminiscing and laughter was had before we realised we needed to change venues to meet anyone else at Salt. Becca and I left first as Louisa and Linda were already sat outside and I almost didn’t recognise them as both had different hairstyles since I last saw them. Louisa was working later so couldn’t stay out long but had made the effort for Captain Caveman’s birthday, I hoped he would make it back before she had to leave. To complete the crew, Caz & Tim were next to arrive and we had a drink or two more. I felt that I didn’t get to speak to everyone enough and it dawned on me that the time I planned to be in England for would fly by. It was the school holidays so lots of parents were busy with the kids or going away so it wasn’t possible for everyone to come out, just because JoLo was back in town. As we were chatting, Luan informed us that one of our friends’ father had died. But then when she double checked it was a false alarm and we all raised a glass to him, with Linda saying ‘I’ve never met him, but I’m so glad he’s alive!’ It was nice to be with my Northern mates again and we had a great time. As I said bye to Louisa and Linda, Captain Caveman was in the taxi coming back – which was a shame they had missed each other.
We had another drink in Salt but then decided to go back to The Kelham Island Tavern. Caz and Tim also had to get back home so they said their goodbyes. Much to Captain Caveman’s aversion to acknowledging his birthday, he responded quite well to a group rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ from the rest of us in our last bar. Drexy and Jeff had offered to give Captain Caveman and I a lift back to Mosborough and the sensible thing would’ve been to take it. Luan and Paul also had work tomorrow so were leaving but I blame Tony for the rest of the evening’s shenanigans.
I don’t think Captain Caveman was expecting for it to be such an eventful (drunken) birthday on Thursday 18th July. Tony had the amazing idea that we should all go for a curry. Once we’d said bye to the people our hangovers would be wishing we were tomorrow, I called Butler’s Balti to ask them to stay open. Tony is a regular there so they agreed to wait for us but we took longer to walk there than we expected because of all the road work paraphernalia in the way. Once there, we were the only customers; Tony, Becca, Captain Caveman and I were so grateful, though, and we cracked on with ordering our drinks and food quite sharpish. Tony and I had red wine, Becca had white and Captain Caveman stuck to beer (for the time being). I’d love to write about what each of us ordered but all I can recall is that it was amazing food and that Captain Caveman and Tony went for something too hot for me to handle. At the end of the night, and as the staff were probably really hoping to lock up, Captain Caveman was presented with the ultimate birthday drink. Of course, I had to get a video of it which, to Captain Caveman’s irritation, caused a bit of an injury. While I videoed and we all sang Happy Birthday in the style of Stevie Wonder on a night out in Sheffield, Captain Caveman had to wait to blow out the flaming sambuca which then meant he burned his lip on the hot glass and lethal liquid. Outside we struggled to get taxis for 3 out of 4 of us and we were a bit merry by this stage. Becca got upset as her taxi got nicked by someone else and Captain Caveman got impatient when we ordered a second one as ours went missing. Poor Tony was left to sort us all out and make sure Becca got the taxi and he got back to his hotel. All this on a school night but we were home before 1am and our friendly taxi driver was chatting all the way back to Mosborough to his friend abroad. It only cost £16 which I didn’t think was bad considering it was probably about that 2.5 years ago. What a night, tomorrow was going to hurt but I’d fortuitously took the day off work.
Josh and Martha had weighing scales in their bathroom and it was my weigh day on Wednesday 17th July. I’d consumed just shy of 500 syns this week, but I kidded myself that at least I was still tracking it! I do realise that simply writing it down doesn’t make me lose weight, eating and drinking less does! According to these scales I had put on 0.85kg (1.9lb) which wasn’t great but my measurements weren’t too bad; bust +1cm, waist stayed the same and hips -1cm! We let down our trusty inflatable borrowed bed, which had been comfy, and tidied the room. With everything packed it was time to say bye to Martha as Josh gave us a lift to Oxenholme train station on his way to work. We had spent the last 2 days having lots of laughs and it was definitely one of the things I loved most about being back in England – spending time with friends who had a great sense of humour and banter. I don’t get as many opportunities to do that in Vietnam due to the language barrier and my comedic style being somewhere between Sid James and Jimmy Carr. My concerns about gaining weight were soon forgotten (again) as we arrived at the cafe outside the station. We’d said a hurried farewell to Josh with hopes of seeing him and Martha in Turkey this winter and had a little bit of time before our train at 9.14am. Captain Caveman had already booked our train tickets in advance and we were going via Manchester Piccadilly to Sheffield, hoping to arrive around midday. Captain Caveman ordered a toastie and I had a bacon sandwich with brown sauce. The cafe there is excellent and my bacon sandwich was so good!!
The train to Manchester was fine, although someone was sat in our allocated seats, a lady who I thought was rather mentally challenged as she kept talking to herself, even while she was shovelling a flapjack in to her mouth. She also was speaking in a tongue I had no knowledge of and I tried to guess where she might be from. When we got off at Manchester Piccadilly to change trains, Captain Caveman pointed out she was Glaswegian and had airpods in her ears – earphones without wires! Wow, I was so out of touch and then Captain Caveman called me racist because I didn’t recognise a Scottish accent – while we were stood next to lots of people with different skin colour to me! The train to Sheffield was rammed and we only just got a seat with it being a free for all and Captain Caveman making a passenger move her bags from the seat next to her so that I could sit down. She said she couldn’t move them because she had recently had spinal surgery and that was no issue for Captain Caveman as he bunged them on the overhead rack. I assured her he would get them back down for her when we got off, as I sat down. We arrived in Sheffield at 11.45am and my first activity was to need the toilet at platform 8! By 11.55am we were outside at the bus stop waiting for our bus to Mosborough and it was sunny! I wouldn’t have said it was hot but a workman on his lunch break obviously would have, as he came and did pull ups on the bus shelter while half naked. Our Giffgaff SIMs were now working so Captain Caveman didn’t notice as the workman got down on the floor and did press ups. I warned my parents we were on the way to their’s and we booked the family in for celebratory drinks tonight.
We arrived at Ma & Pa’s to warm hugs and they had even got us the kettle on and some nice food in for lunch. There were sandwiches with ham or pork, crisps, sausage rolls and scotch eggs. They were snaffled down very quickly and I didn’t even take a photo. After a bit of unpacking and repacking, all 4 of us decided it would be a good idea to go for a stroll to the nearest boozer. We love the Alma and it’s beer garden is often full of dogs with their owners. It was pretty quiet as we drank our pints. Captain Caveman and Mom stuck to beer but Dad and I had Inches cider. It was my first time of trying it and I really liked it, we commented that the glasses were nice and instantly went on to the barmaid’s watch list as she had noticed quite a few go missing already. We had pork scratchings even though we had plans for a dinner that Captain Caveman and I had been counting down to. I’d not been to Tony’s fish and chip shop for 2.5 years and it was at the very top of my list of must do places while I’m back. My parents were up for it and after a couple of rounds we left the Alma and went to the best chippy in Sheffield. Captain Caveman ordered himself a haddock, the rest of us had cod and shared two lots of chips between us. I was surprised to find that a fish was now over £6 so the whole lot came to over £40 for our dinner but it was so worth it and I could’ve eaten even more. Tony’s rarely disappoints and I hoped I’d get to go there again while I was back home – the diet could wait! In one day, I’d consumed over the weeks allowance of syns already and we still had a night out planned.
I’d booked a table at the local micro pub, Craftworks on the Mosborough high street, for 7.30pm. The motley crew joining Captain Caveman and I were my parents, my sister Gayle, my 2 nieces Morgan and April and Harley, April’s boyfriend. I went on to the red wine as I was full after the ciders and fish and chips, Captain Caveman stuck to pints, as did Ma, Pa & Harley. The ladies went a bit fancy with Aperol spritz or spirits and we gave the ball a right old kick. To give an idea of costs, pints of beer ranged from £3.90 for a Barnsley bitter or a weak pale ale, right up to over £7 for something stronger or a stout. My mom was better behaved than her last family visit here and I’m happy to report that she didn’t inspect the walls or floor this time – she knew that Neil (my brother-in-law) wasn’t here to come and rescue her this time. It was a brilliant way to celebrate Captain Caveman’s birthday early with the family and my face ached from laughing so much, especially at Gayle who is hilarious (even when she’s not trying to be). My nieces are now adults and I was kindly invited to a party next week to celebrate April turning 18. I’d not seen them since they came to Dalyan on holiday last year so it was brilliant to see them again. It was the first time I’d met Harley and we liked him straight away when we found out he was a fan of a music quiz! We were obviously the last to leave and at 11pm we were still all supping our last drinks as the really polite barmaid waited patiently for us to go home. Captain Caveman and I loved it and it was his first visit to Craftworks but maybe not his last.
Monday 15th July was another great day aside from the fact that Captain Caveman had his breakfast without me and left me a toilet gift that kept on giving! After Captain Caveman made me beans on toast and a cup of Yorkshire tea for my breakfast, it was time to pack and check out of White Cottage. The Giffgaff SIM we both had didn’t work in Askham so we couldn’t phone a taxi. Captain Caveman attempted Uber, which is the UK’s equivalent of Grab, but there was no luck. We left White Cottage which had cost £520 for 3 nights (no wonder it had been nice!) having had a really nice stay in Askham. At the Askham Grocery shop, we called a taxi and got a hot beverage each while we waited for the car to come from nearby Penrith. There is a bus but it only goes once per week, not on Mondays. The taxi was £20 so it didn’t break the bank and we got our train tickets at the station for £8.70 each. We were off to meet Watto and Chrissy for lunch in Oxenholme and they picked us up from Oxenholme train station. While we were waiting, we noticed the train station had a really good shop and cafe so we shared a sausage roll which was fantastic. It was great to see Watto and Chrissy, who we know from Phong Nha when Watto worked with Captain Caveman as an Oxalis cave expert and Chrissy was my fellow CWAG (Cavers Wives and Girlfriends). Phong Nha wasn’t the same without them making us laugh but it was good to see a retired Watto looking very well. They drove us to the Station Inn where we had decided to have lunch on a bit of a whim. We were the first in the pub and of course Chrissy and I didn’t need any persuading on having a bottle of white wine. We were so busy catching up that I didn’t take photos of the food but it was really good. I had the red pepper and tomato soup for starter and the scampi for main, both of which were really lovely and a good sized portion. We didn’t have room for a pudding but we did have a hot drink and the staff were really nice, friendly and accommodating. I remembered to get a group photo to commemorate the occasion but the lighting and angle weren’t the best.
Watto and Chrissy drove us to our next stop, which was to a house in Oxenholme. We were visiting another ex Oxalis cave expert as we were staying with Josh and Martha for a couple of nights. Martha opened the door and welcomed us but we had already decided we would drop our bags off and have a walk in to town. She works from home and would be busy and Josh was still at work so it gave us the time to have a wander. We had a walk in to Kendal where Captain Caveman encouraged me to have 2 pints of Guinness and a bag of pork scratchings in the Clock Tower pub. It was a proper boozer and the drink prices were reasonable so we were quite happy there until Josh came to meet us after work. It was great to see Josh after 6 months, we last saw him and Martha in Turkey at Christmas. We had another pint, then we walked back to the house where Martha’s friend had popped over to lend us an inflatable bed, which was ace. Much hilarity ensued as we all got involved in pumping it up in the spare room. We were lucky to be in it as that room was earmarked for the cinema room as they were doing up their relatively new home. The house was so lovely and we definitely made ourselves at home. Josh cooked us a great vegan dinner of mushroom risotto, which we had with garlic bread. I had a glass of wine and we all chatted and took the micky out of Josh. It was really good to see Josh and Martha again and we could’ve stayed up all night but tomorrow Martha and I had work to do.
I had tea and a buttered crumpet for breakfast on Tuesday 16th July after a pretty good night’s sleep on an inflatable bed. Captain Caveman and Josh had the day free so they took themselves off for a walk and a visit to Kendal castle. Martha and I said we would meet them later as we both had work to do. When I finished, I walked to meet the fellas who were in Cortillo restaurant having a beverage and waiting for us to join for lunch. I got a bit lost but turned out I was only about 50 metres away. My Giffgaff SIM still didn’t have any signal and was turning out to be a waste of money. I ordered a lemongrass and ginger tea and perused the rather extensive menu while we waited for Martha to finish a meeting. Josh, Captain Caveman and I all chose a version of a breakfast while Martha order 3 tapas of chicken wings, patatas bravas and garlic bread. The food was lovely, the decor quite unusual and we had a great lunch. Josh and Martha left us to find our own way home as Captain Caveman had decided he wanted to take me to Kendal castle where he had been this morning. I wasn’t too bothered, given that I was carrying my laptop in case I needed to reply to some emails and I’d just had a massive breakfast. I went to the toilet as I knew as soon as we set off walking, I would need to go. A mother and daughter were in a cubicle together, both using the toilet and I was shocked to see that when they came out, neither of them washed their hands – they just walked straight out! Captain Caveman and I walked towards Kendal castle via the shops and I saw a Herdy shop. I love their stuff and I wanted to pop in and see if we could get a gift for Josh and Martha. While I was there, I saw a bag for myself and, as I had just been paid, I decided I wanted it. Captain Caveman said I didn’t need one but my existing bag had a tangled strap and wasn’t practical. We got talking to the shop assistant while we couldn’t agree what to buy but eventually I bought the Herdy bag for me and a set of Herdy coasters for Josh and Martha. I know Martha likes a brew so I thought it would be a nice reminder of us when she was enjoying a cuppa. We carried on walking towards the castle and it did look a bit overcast as we approached the bridge. By the time we were in the field and close to the Castle, I needed the loo as I had a bad stomach. I was really bad and could hardly move, I didn’t even look up at the castle as we hurried in search of a toilet. As my phone didn’t work I asked Captain Caveman to Google toilets closest to the castle and I was so desperate that I considered knocking on a door to see if I could use the loo of a local. Captain Caveman didn’t look properly for a toilet and made me walk all the way back to Josh and Martha’s, almost bent double in pain. I ran in to the house and Martha could see on my face that I wasn’t well and put the radio on in her office, next to the bathroom. I can’t even whistle so I was grateful!
I worked until 4pm and then Captain Caveman, Josh and I decided to go to the local pub for a pint. When we got to the Factory Tap I realised it was within walking distance of the castle and a place we could have come to earlier when I was having a spasm, so I was a bit peeved with Captain Caveman. I managed a pint of Gluten free beer, crisps and pork scratchings as my belly was better. Martha joined us and I managed another Gluten Free beer and she had a gin and tonic. It was a really nice pub with a beer garden and the sun was out. Josh went back home a bit earlier than the rest of us, as he was doing us a veggie dinner at home and we finished our drinks. The veggie wraps and wedges were really tasty and I ate quite a bit, washed down with a glass of wine. We all got comfy in the living room and watched Below Deck, a first for Captain Caveman who really took to it. We’d had such a good time seeing Josh and Martha and were sad to be leaving tomorrow morning. Our next stop was my home town of Sheffield, Captain Caveman had just 2 days there before he had to go back to London, then Vietnam.
Captain Caveman treated the 4 of us to another cooked breakfast at White Cottage on the morning of Sunday 14th July. His family were leaving today but Captain Caveman had booked us in for 3 nights so we had the place to ourselves tonight. As part of the wedding celebrations there was a morning walk at 11am but I needed to work, as I had took tomorrow off, and I had a bit of a woolly head. The rest of the family decided not to go either as they wanted to avoid traffic, Captain Caveman didn’t go because of the rain (which isn’t like him). Everyone met at White Cottage to say farewell, with The Sprouts heading further north to Darlington. Then Ben and Lola joined Captain Caveman’s parents for the long journey back to London. By midday I was back on the laptop while under a blanket on the sofa, trying to keep warm. We walked across to the Queen’s Head pub for lunch where we shared a very good pizza and had a pint each for a total of £30 before calling at the local shop to see what we could get to cook for dinner. We bought pork sausages, an onion, a carrot and some crisps for £8 and Captain Caveman decided he would make a sausage casserole with the leftover tomatoes from breakfast.
While Captain Caveman got to work in the kitchen, I carried on with some work. When I finished and the slow cooker had done it’s magic, we opened the bottle of wine left by the owner and ate our lovely dinner. Tomorrow we had more excitement planned as we were meeting up with 2 lots of friends, both who I’d originally met in Phong Nha.
Captain Caveman’s cousin, Hugh, was marrying his girlfriend of 10 years, Maddi, on the afternoon of Saturday 13th July at Askham Hall, near Penrith. After a great night’s sleep at White Cottage, Captain Caveman got up to make me a cup of Yorkshire tea and start on breakfast. I was glad of the duvet and extra cover as it had been pretty cold in the night so I was reluctant to get out of bed. After a lovely hot shower, which I had started to get used to them being hot and powerful in England, I went downstairs. Captain Caveman had made a full English for me, him, Ben & Lola and it was lovely. Lola and I chatted about what we were going to wear as neither of us had brought warm clothing and it was cold and a bit rainy outside. Captain Caveman hadn’t told me that the theme was summery or flowery, obviously I had never seen an invite! Our cosy cottage supplied fleecy tartan blankets on the sofa so Lola read her book under one and I did a couple of hours of work under another. Anna and Captain Caveman’s dad had both said they would be over early to iron their outfits but by 12 noon they hadn’t arrived. I tried on all dresses available to me, including my new ones but in the end, after getting 4 ‘nos’ from Captain Caveman, Ben and Lola, I wore one I had for when I’m in back in Turkey. When The Sprouts did arrive we got a few photos of some of us. I even attempted a family photo outside the cottage despite it drizzling and me shivering a bit. We walked to the venue, it was probably only 15°C and we hoped it didn’t rain too much as none of us had an umbrella.
There was a bit of milling about as we were early and Captain Caveman isn’t good at introducing me to anyone. I sussed out the mother of the groom and said hello, she was wearing a lovely green dress and was with her husband, Paul, who I recognised from Aunty Marge’s funeral. Luckily we got to wish cousin Hugh luck and all the best, just before the ceremony. He looked very smart and my dress matched the pattern on his tie which reassured me I’d fitted the theme, after all. By 1.55pm we were all waiting for the bride, it was time for the wedding!
I had not yet met Maddi and she looked really stunning as she walked down the aisle. The service went well and was fairly amusing from the quite jocular wedding officiant. We were asked not to take any photos so I managed to make the whole day without taking one photo of the happy couple. After the ceremony, there was Pimm’s or beer and we were gathered on the garden for a group photo. We also got to chuck rose petal confetti on to the beautiful newlyweds, which was great. I managed to get a few photos of some of the family messing about and everyone was really happy. The canapes and champagne were very nice, then it was time to go back in to the hall for the wedding breakfast and speeches. We all were given a pair of sunglasses with our names on which we popped on as Hugh and Maddi came in to the room to a song from the musical, Greece.
The sit down dinner was lovely, we had a Turkish style köfte with salad and pitta for starters, lamb or veggie option for main and sticky toffee pudding for pud. I don’t like lamb or mashed potatoes so Captain Caveman went to ask if there were any spare veggie mains for me to swap. There was and it’s probably one of the nicest meals I’ve had in a long while; miso flavoured baked aubergine with roasted peppers, edamame beans and broccolini – amazing! The wine was provided too and we toasted lots of very funny speeches. Captain Caveman had chosen well with an extra wedding gift of Vietnamese coffee and phin cups for the happy couple. They both share a massive love of coffee and had even named their guests’ tables after their favourite coffee shops. We were given word puzzles on the table which Captain Caveman was keen to do and I helped. After dinner, we went in to another area for a hot beverage and were given a lovely piece of fudge. Captain Caveman and I continued with the wine from the table and then it was time for the live band. By this time Captain Caveman was flagging a bit as he was still on Vietnamese bed times. At 10pm pizzas were brought out so we had a couple of slices, they were really good. After a couple of glasses of water to try to keep Captain Caveman and I awake, we decided to walk back to White Cottage having had a lovely day.
Photo credit: Captain Caveman and the wedding photographer
On Friday 12th July the Turkish lira was now up to 42.7 to the pound, the highest I’d known it. We had to strip our bed and put fresh bedding on as Captain Caveman’s middle brother and his niece would be coming back down to London with their parents after the wedding weekend. Captain Caveman and I had a bit of an adventure planned until he returned next Friday. Captain Caveman ended up with feathers all over from the pillows and then was sneezing. I picked them all up by hand as best I could and then we packed our stuff for the long drive from London to Penrith. Breakfast was another family affair where I had tea, toast and cereal. Captain Caveman made sandwiches for the journey and the parents car set off before The Sprouts. I took a travel sickness pill, the expensive ones and I didn’t see anything until I woke up near the Birmingham toll. We had a stop at the services along the way and we ate our butties outside. When we eventually arrived in Penrith Captain Caveman and I were dropped off at White Cottage in Askham, where we were staying with Ben and Lola. Captain Caveman’s parents were staying at the Punch Bowl pub nearby and The Sprouts were staying at an Airbnb in Penrith. That evening, all 11 of us dined at The Punch Bowl together and the food was extremely good. I had steak pie with chips, gravy and extra veg instead of peas. I also had a pint of cider and 2 glasses of red wine. A few people had desserts but Captain Caveman and I shared a lovely cheese board. I was already on 195 syns for the week and we had the wedding tomorrow plus an extra night in Askham for Captain Caveman and I. I was quite glad that there were no scales around.
On Tuesday 9th July I got up early and positioned myself at the desk in our bedroom. I rattled through some work while Captain Caveman played Bridge on his phone, his Mom went to tennis and his Dad was up a ladder pruning some trees. It felt nice to be back but I was a bit nippy and never took my fleece off. At 11am I broke off from work for Captain Caveman to walk me to the Virgin Active gym to meet his Mom. She had very kindly organised a gym pass for me so that we could enjoy a swim, jacuzzi, steam room and sauna together. Captain Caveman handed me over and then went to get the train to Fulham where he was off to the bridge club. On mentioning to his mom that he seemed to be getting rather obsessed with this new hobby of Bridge she put me straight. Apparently, he had been playing it since a child and obviously, he was somewhat of an expert at it! I loved the swimming pool and managed 20 X 25m lengths so I was pleased with that. The best bit was the water jets in the jacuzzi pool which were so good on my left buttock where I’d started to suffer with sciatica on my good leg. It was also really nice to spend time with Captain Caveman’s mom too. Back at home, she and I had some lunch of cheese sandwiches and an apple – easily one of my favourite lunch time meals. The bread was soft granary and there was a selection of cheese. There is nothing better than an English apple with that extra juicy crunch. I resumed work after lunch and then went for a short walk with Captain Caveman. It started to rain so we came home and I booked my flight back to Dalaman. I had decided I would stay until the 11th August and would incorporate a trip down south after I’d been up north. In the afternoon it continued to rain but we still managed a family trip to the local Sun Inn for a cheeky pre dinner pint. I had my first cider in a while and it was so refreshing. Captain Caveman’s Mom cooked a roast chicken with garlic, chips and salad for dinner. It was very tasty and it went down rather well. Just before bed, I noticed a friend from over 12 years ago had written on Facebook to say he was going to be in London tomorrow and was anyone about. Captain Caveman and I were already meeting Clare at Waterloo after she finished work so I sent Shaun a message to see if he wanted to join us.
Wednesday 10th July was weigh day and I should’ve been going to Fat Club, however I was in London and couldn’t. I had consumed 374 syns which was only 6 less than last week and still over 3 times the allocated amount. 156 syns were used on alcohol so the 0.9kg (2lb) weight gain this week was not unexpected. My measurements, however, were a lot more favourable; bust no change, both waist and hips -4cm! I had tea and toast for breakfast which Captain Caveman brought up to the bedroom so I could crack on with work. He was off to the Fulham Bridge Club for the whole day. His parents were off to meet friends for lunch and would probably be out all afternoon. At 12.30pm I broke off for lunch and decided to walk to the post office. My next stop was Marks and Spencer in Barnes where the security guard made me jump by greeting me, very pleasantly and calling me Ma’am. I didn’t even know M&S had security guards!!! I bought a sandwich, some pasta and a loaf of bread for £8.25 which I had to put on card but was served by an actual person this time. Back ‘home’, I ate the food and checked my phone to find I had a complaint from our Dalyan tenant. They had not seen the pool and garden man since they had arrived, 3 days ago, there was also no sign of the new hose which each of the 10 property owners had been charged £10 for so had cost us £100 in total! The tenant had told me she had cleaned the pool herself and then found some chemicals with the lid off that she was concerned for the kids around there. I messaged the maintenance company who told me they were there this morning and had been speaking to my neighbours. He said he didn’t get what my problem was and would be back there in 30 minutes. I messaged the tenant and told her to meet him. In a mood, the only thing to cheer me up was the frog toilet roll holder at Captain Caveman’s parents’ house, it is so cute! I went back to work knowing I needed to finish by 4pm to meet Captain Caveman, Clare and my old friend Shaun in Waterloo. Captain Caveman had told me the directions but that meant nothing to me, I got lost on the way to Barnes station as I followed the road sign, which apparently pointed the wrong way. Captain Caveman didn’t answer his phone or read his messages because he was at Bridge Club so I had to follow people with wheely suitcases along the road, in the hope they were going to the train station. Luckily, they were and I got on the train, which was absolutely rammed and people were squeezing themselves in the doors but they weren’t closing. There were delays as people wouldn’t move to let the doors close and I stood near the toilet trying not to feel claustrophobic. I got an update message from the tenant and the garden guy, they had exchanged phone numbers and she had given him what for – there is no messing with her! The maintenance guy, once again, agreed to go daily and had said he’d been told by one of the other residents that he couldn’t go in the mornings – what!? She had told him that was bullshit and to bloody get on with it! Luckily, I had set off early as, at Waterloo, I couldn’t find the King’s Arms and went the wrong way. Captain Caveman had to come out and get me and walk me back to the rather busy pub. I had a lovely pint of cider, Captain Caveman had a pint of IPA and I didn’t notice the cost. Clare arrived and she looked so lovely, I think she may even have lost a bit of weight since I saw her just shy of a year ago. I had another pint of cider, Captain Caveman had another IPA and Clare had a white wine spritzer which I think the round came to about £22. Shaun joined us shortly after and also chose cider and we enjoyed a bit of reminiscing. He fitted in ever so well with the 2 others, considering they had never met, but we had to keep our eye on the time as Clare was getting the train back to Southampton. It turned out that I had wrongly believed that Shaun had left Norwich Union when he moved to Capita to then go to KPMG. I had it completely wrong as he didn’t go there but he had moved to Suffolk. I also let him know that I once mislead people on a conference call when I had to leave exactly on time to sell my French Horn. Everyone had misheard that I was rushing off to sell my Friend Shaun – you can see how the confusion may have arose. We had one more drink after Clare left the King’s Arms but then Captain Caveman got peckish. He’d located a restaurant not too far away called Flat Iron and the 3 of us went there. The food was amazing, I had one of the best steaks I’d had in a while and we shared some sides including mac n cheese and creamed spinach. I was very impressed with prices and service. The steaks (we all had the same) were £14.50 and were fantastic, the sides were all £5.50 each and weren’t massive but they were delicious. We also had a lovely bottle of wine, the bottles of red wine ranged from £22 to £39 but I can’t remember which one Captain Caveman chose. After our mains, we got given a tiny silver cleaver at the end of the meal. This was a token to be redeemed for an ice-cream at the counter on the way out. Captain Caveman and I are not fans of ice-cream and weren’t going to bother but it was free. I’m so glad we did as they were so good and really finished off a lovely evening. We said our goodbyes to my Friend Shaun around 10.30pm, it was a school night after all and he had work meetings in the morning. We didn’t get back to Barnes until 11.30pm and it was very cold on the way back. Captain Caveman also fell asleep on the train and we were both a bit squiffy. I had been using my Turkish bank card as an Oyster card and today’s transport had cost me 304.98 lira (£7.26).
On Thursday 11th July I had tea and toast in bed then cracked on with work. Captain Caveman pottered about a little, as did his Dad while his Mom was at tennis. Some news came in mid morning that some family plans had changed so The Sprouts were on their way. I was working as Captain Caveman was updated that his youngest brother, sister-in-law and 3 nephews were on their way over from Brussels, they were no longer going straight up north as planned. I hadn’t heard their nickname before but it was amusing and obviously very fitting as they live in Brussels and were affectionately called The Sprouts. We had meant to be meeting them at the wedding in Penrith but they were going to stay in Barnes tonight instead. Tomorrow The Sprouts and the rest of us would drive up there and meet the other brother and Captain Caveman’s only niece. Captain Caveman popped to the shop to get some travel sickness pills for me which cost £7.59 so had better be good. When Captain Caveman’s Mom returned from tennis it was all systems go while she made all the practicalities happen for putting up the 5 extra guests tonight. We had lunch of quiche available which I’m normally not a fan of so I had a cheese sandwich but I did try the 2 different quiches to find the feta and spinach one was rather good. I carried on working in the afternoon until The Sprouts arrived only stopping for a quick walk to the shop for travel provisions. At Morrisons we bought a lucozade, midget gems, tic-tacs and a twirl chocolate bar for £5.70. back at home, we all sat in the garden with wine and nibbles and had a catch up in what was actually quite a sunny spell. The kids found the cherries were almost ready and ate a few but they were still a little sour. That evening, we were spoiled with a feast for the whole 9 of us; there was a ham joint, potatoes, carrots with a white sauce, broccoli and green beans and it was an absolute delight. It was lovely to sit at the table for a family meal together as it’s a rare event for Captain Caveman. The excitement must’ve got to him though, as once on the sofa he instantly nodded off. We were in bed by 10pm and had the alarm set to get up early for our family road trip up north!
I managed to go without buying any food or drink at Dalaman airport in the early hours of Monday 8th July. I absolutely begrudged paying the ridiculous rip-off prices but with a 2 hour delay to the flight and the AC not being particularly cool due to how crowded it was, it was tough going. By the time I got on the plane, I was thirsty so I bought a cup of tea, a water and one of those vegan snack boxes which had hummus, oatcakes, dried mango and chocolate in. I paid on card and got no receipt but later checked to find it had cost me 345.44 lira (£8.22) so was much cheaper than buying at the airport. The flight went ok but of course, we were later than planned and I was meeting Captain Caveman in London. We were meant to have landed at 3am in Gatwick but at 4.20am we were still in the air, although I could see land. When we landed, I had no working phone but managed to log on to the free WiFi. Captain Caveman had tracked the flight so wouldn’t be waiting the extra 2 hours for me in a 24 hour cafe in Farringdon, where we had arranged to meet. At the airport I was peckish and thirsty again so I went to the shop and here’s what I bought, priced in English pounds;
Marks and Spencer 2 pack of sausage rolls £1.10 1 pack of Salt & Vinegar crisps £1.30 Water £1.65 Total spent £4.05
There were staff stood chatting but not allowed to serve me and I had to scan my own items. This turned out to be a bit of a faff but I did manage to pay with a £50 note, a feat that would prove more and more difficult the further north I went. I made my way to the train station where I managed to buy a £14.40 one way ticket to Farringdon station. Nowhere would allow cash so I had to pay on my Turkish card. I followed explicit instructions from Captain Caveman on how to get the 300m to La Forcetta cafe, including the walk with the Pret a Manger on my left. It turned out that there was quite a few Pret a Manger shops on that stretch but I finally found it. Unfortunately, Captain Caveman’s idea of a 24 hour cafe so that I would have somewhere to go on arrival did not have a toilet and I was busting for a wee. I ordered a cup of tea but the breakfasts weren’t ready to order yet and Captain Caveman had much more pressing issues to deal with. He’d hardly welcomed me when he was insisting on inserting my Giffgaff SIM card in to my phone so that I had credit. He had ordered it to come to his mom’s and all I had to do was top it up with £10 credit. The current exchange rate was 41.9 lira to the pound but my £10 top up took 428.84 lira out of my Turkish account. Finally, we ordered the Full English Breakfast and I was so pleased with the buttered white toast. The breakfast came with chips and lots of baked beans, my bacon was too salty so I gave that, along with my eggs and tomatoes, to Captain Caveman. I did wonder if I was doing the right thing eating it when I needed the toilet and I had an appointment for my passport renewal this morning.
There were so many coffee shops in the area and I really needed the loo so badly, I’d not been since on the plane and it was already 8.20am. I had taken the day off work today as I needed to be at the passport office at 11.50am. Captain Caveman felt certain if we headed to a Macdonald’s there would be a toilet but I was concerned there would be a big Monday morning queue and that we would have to buy something to get a code for the toilet door first. MacDonald’s didn’t have a toilet so we nipped in to a nearby Cafe Nero and Captain Caveman got himself a second breakfast of juice and a croissant. I didn’t ask how much it cost but those places aren’t cheap. Our next stop was a walk through Bloomsbury and on to a Wetherspoons where Captain Caveman left me with the bags while he ran errands. I was delighted with a hot beverage refill for only £1.56 a cup and proceeded to have 3 hot chocolates and an earl grey tea plus 2 more toilet visits – bargain. This would not be my first visit to a Wetherspoons and I was rather impressed with this one. We walked to the train and went a few stops to the passport office at Warehouse K and it has The Fox pub almost next door. I left Captain Caveman having a pint of Guinness while I went for my appointment. The queue to go in was only about 10 minutes and that was the longest part of the whole thing. I was a total of 15 minutes and I had my new passport. I wasn’t impressed that the passports aren’t as firm as the old ones and they feel rather flimsy but, for an outrageous £220, I now had my new extra pages passport and could travel abroad again. I got myself a Guinness which was £6.75 and thought that would equate to about 280 lira if I was in Dalyan. In the afternoon we went to an Indian restaurant which was rammed full. Captain Caveman got us a tali to share but I could barely eat any of the mains due to the chillies. I ate bread and rice then we left to wander through a strange exhibition with butterflies before getting the train to Barnes. I got a lovely welcome from Captain Caveman’s parents who I probably hadn’t seen for about 4 or 5 years. They hadn’t changed a bit. It was 3pm and I hadn’t slept since Saturday night so I had a little nap before dinner. Captain Caveman’s Ma made a lovely risotto for dinner and we had a glass or 2 of wine with it. At bedtime I unpacked and Captain Caveman had bought a lightweight down jacket from Uniqlo which he said I could have when he left. London felt extremely cold to me but it probably wasn’t too bad – passengers had been wearing coats and jeans at Barnes station though. The bed was super comfy and I think I fell asleep immediately!
joloyolo 