At 3am on Sunday 2nd March I was wishing that the bathroom lay out had the sink and toilet closer to each other! The chicken kebab I had eaten last night was not quite as enjoyable on its way out. I was so ill and felt terrible. I spent a few hours in the bathroom before trying to go back to sleep but didn’t really manage it. I had to call in sick to the Sunday meet up and had at first thought it was because I wasn’t used to drinking so much wine these days. When I went to pick up the bag with the kebab wrapper in, to take to it out to the bin, it made me puke again. I was in a bad way most of the day but there was no rest as I had 2 holiday enquiries for last minute deals that needed focusing on. Luckily, I found some ginger and honey tea in the cupboard and the dogs gave me lots of love. Edna knew I was sick and kept herself near to me. I managed a short walk with them in the afternoon but didn’t eat anything until late afternoon and then I managed toast and a cup of tea. I eventually ate a proper meal at almost dinner time, of curry with a wrap. After finishing off some work and lining up a couple more bookings for March, I had a lazy evening and watched TV. I was in bed relatively early and ready for a busy Monday.
Gratitude List 1. The kebab syns might not have stayed in long enough to count 2. Ginger tea 3. Norman and Edna being so easy to look after when I was feeling delicate.
I started the day with tea and toast while feeling a lot more human again on Monday 3rd March. Edna was overly fussy as she wanted to check I was well again, while Norman was wondering why we were all up so early. Rain was forecast so I took my laundry home, called at the bank and went to the shops to buy provisions while waiting for UK work related people to wake up. Here’s what I bought with the prices in lira;
Migros Supermarket 1 tin of tomatoes 21.95 1 wholemeal loaf 49.95 Walnuts 65.90 576g of chicken breasts 120.96 Total spent 258.76 lira (£5.64)
I had 2 bookings to complete plus more enquiries today so things were definitely looking good for holiday bookings as more people got ready to book their breaks. I had leek and potato soup for lunch and had made a chicken and mushroom stroganoff in the slow cooker for dinner. I enrolled on a Planner Ideation course with Claire Clarke who I had briefly worked with before and had last spoke to her before I published my book. I was very busy after the dog walk and, when I dialled in to a Lisa Johnson Make Money Online Masterclass, the electric went off and I couldn’t continue the webinar.
Gratitude List 1. Enrolling on a course with Claire Clarke 2. Being in a position to apply for residency now 3. Treats of walnuts in my shopping.
There was no Sunday Walk, secret squirrel or otherwise, on Sunday 23rd February. It was just too cold so I had arranged to meet some friends at Kefal Tea Gardens (indoor area) for a bit of a send-off for Zen. He was going back to work so it would be the last time we saw him until mid-April. We decided on meeting at 11.30am and joining the big table there were 8 of us. I wrapped up warm as it looked so sunny but was very cold outside.
When I arrived, the waitress helped me to move the tables in to place, in a sunny corner of the indoor area. I ordered a large Turkish tea, there were no gözleme available today. Everyone arrived and we had a good chat and beverages before ordering food. I ordered the breakfast portion (without egg) and it was rather substantial for the price of 225.00 lira (£5). I even took some of it away as I couldn’t eat it all. The sun had been very warm where we were sitting so it was very nice to feel hot and I even had to take a few layers off. My total bill with 2 teas, plus another which came included with the breakfast, came to just 255.00 lira (£5.67). I really enjoyed my Sunday Turkish brunch with friends but we were all sad to say bye to Zen. I got back in time to have a chat with a friend, living in Hoi An, Vietnam, as we were looking at planning a trip to Easter Island and Peru for her. Unfortunately, she had an incident at work so the call was put on hold. Around 5pm, I popped to the shops and here is what I bought with prices in lira;
Migros Supermarket 2 tins of tomatoes 44.92 lira (£1)
I still hadn’t managed to find a notepad and I had an important call tomorrow that I needed one for. After eating a chicken dinner, I went to look for a notepad. None of the nearest supermarkets had one but I bumped in to Kaan who took me to the Şevikoğlu where I got one for 49.90 lira (£1.11) in the sale. I walked back and called in BIM where I bought a couple of Dido chocolate bars for 39.00 lira (87p). I spoke to Captain Caveman who was in the Yorkshire Dales, he would be back in Dalyan in 5 weeks. At 11pm I was on a live Facebook update with Lisa Johnson getting ready for tomorrow’s Race to Recurring Revenue, which I was really looking forward to.
Gratitude List 1. Breakfast at Kefal with friends 2. An enquiry for Peru 3. A new notepad finally purchased.
On Friday 21st February it was absolutely freezing. After tea and toast for breakfast and a couple of enquiries for Rhodes and Belfast I nipped to the bank to make sure I had put in the rest of the money needed for February. I was chuffed to have managed it and it meant that I would be able to apply for my Residency Renewal after the 1st March when I had the evidence in bank statements for the last 6 months. New cash machines had been installed so the queue took longer as people tried to figure out how to use them. I had the rest of the feta and roasted vegetable pasta for lunch and then got back on with work. I have a Resort Experts colleague in Belfast who was able to give me some great tips on where to visit – so much so that I added Belfast to my own list of places to visit in the future. I completed all of my follow up calls that had agreed to them but I still had 2 potential customers that had not responded yet. I also got an enquiry for Vietnam about what the weather is like in March, and often people don’t realise how long the country is so there is quite a difference from North to South. Dinner was more of the spaghetti and meatballs with half a bottle of red wine and catching up on watching episodes of ‘The Apprentice’. It is my guilty pleasure as it often reminds me of people I have worked with previously and I absolutely love Alan Sugar. Captain Caveman messaged me at midnight to ask about the weather in Dalyan in April for a friend who was interested in a visit and, again, it can depend; sometimes it’s been hot and sunny and other years it’s been chilly or rainy.
Gratitude List 1. Completing all my Friday Follow up calls 2. Leftover meatballs 3. Wine.
Market day was upon us again on Saturday 22nd February and I decided I needed to go. I had quite a big list of what I thought I needed but I didn’t get there until lunch time. It had been so cold during the night and I was glad to have had 2 quilts plus extra blankets on the bed. I worked all morning as I was still working on 3 enquiries while I ate breakfast of tea and toast with cheese spread on. At the market, it was really cold in the shade so I didn’t hang about. Here’s what I bought with the prices in lira;
Stall 1 Onions 20.00 lira (44p)
Stall 2 Bananas, strawberries, mushrooms and a pineapple 445.00 lira (£9.89)
Stall 3 Peppers and courgettes 45.00 lira (£1)
Total spent 510 lira (£11.33)
This week I’d spent a bit more as I had treated myself to strawberries and a massive pineapple, but I thought it was worth the extra. After putting the shopping away and doing more work in the afternoon, I had a quick break. I went to Tez bar, just as the sun was going behind the mountains, for a wine with friends. I helped them with a search for a hotel in Rhodes. My wine cost me 170 lira (£3.78). After saying my farewells to my friends, I went to the supermarket. Here’s what I bought with the prices in lira;
Migros Supermarket 1 Bounty chocolate bar 34.90 1.5kg Washing Powder 89.95 A 1.6kg whole chicken 116.92 400g pack of fish fingers 159.95 Total spent 401.72 lira (£8.93)
The fish fingers were a bit of a luxury but were on offer, inspired by Captain Caveman after he had told me he had a fish finger sandwich so I had been fancying fish fingers ever since. I made a Slimming World style pizza using veg and meatballs for dinner as I’d only had a bit of fruit with Quark for lunch. I also had wine and later had a second dinner as I was still hungry; fish fingers with potato wedges.
Gratitude List 1. Getting to help more people find good holidays 2. Having my colleagues in the destinations to ask questions of 3. Having a catch up with friends.
On Thursday 20th February I had an impromptu trip out, as Carol from Fat Club had found herself at a loose end. I said I would go with her to Göcek while her fella had band practice at home. I had a few hours spare so it was good timing. I went to the bank and drew out some money in case I saw anything that I needed (not wanted, I was still at the prioritising purchases stage). Carol picked me up about 11am and we drove to Göcek while chatting on. The toll for the tunnel was now a whopping 60 lira (£1.33) which I had seen a few moans on social media about. We had a wander round and I ended up getting quite a few items, see below with prices in lira;
Levissi Wine House 6 bottles of Gamay Red wine 900 lira (£20)
Watson’s 1 Facemask 29.95 2 packs of wet wipes 38.95 Lense wipes 49.95 Hand cream 69.95 Total spent 188.80 lira (£4.20)
The council café 1 Large tea 15.00 1 Black coffee 50.00 Total spent 65.00 lira (£1.44)
I’d been looking for a proper cheese grater for ages and this one was reduced from 600 lira (£13.33) which I would never had paid. The whole Bella Maison shop had a 70% discount off but I resisted the urge to buy anything that I didn’t need. I was particularly impressed with the Macrocenter which had an amazing selection of booze. I was tempted by the Kahlua for 750 lira (£16.67) as I’m partial to a White Russian and had vodka at home. I resisted, of course, and turned away from looking at the Prosecco. Although I didn’t ‘need’ wine, I decided that I would always want to buy wine and the 6 bottles was the equivalent of paying for 1 bottle out in a bar so it made practical sense, while it was still on offer. It was also currently my favourite wine in Turkey and I was using money I had been given as a gift. The lady recognised me from previous visits and even gave me and Carol a free bottle and told us we had to share it. That was sweet and Carol kept it in her car so that she didn’t drink it and we could have it together another time. I went a bit mad in Watson’s, which is like a cheap Superdrug, and then I treated Carol to a coffee at the council run cafe. It had been a great trip out and all for less than £40 spent – hopefully I was still within the monthly budget and would make sure I was careful for the next week. I got straight back on with work while eating a cheese sandwich and carried on until late. I warmed up a spaghetti with meatballs for dinner and drank sage tea. Before 11pm, I had a call with Captain Caveman who had been busy with work.
Gratitude List 1. An impromptu trip to Göcek with Carol 2. Being able to afford some small luxuries 3. Having beef for dinner which was really tasty.
It had warmed up to 13°C on Tuesday 18th February but it was cloudy and wet so it looked like a day at the laptop in my office today. I had tea and toast for breakfast, then snaffled some wine gums mid-morning with my sage tea. In between work enquiries, I managed to go online and pay the rest of my credit card balance off, which I was pleased with – this Frugal February was starting to reap the rewards. By lunch time I was having vegetable soup with pasta. I was busy in the afternoon, which was good. For dinner I made myself a chicken, mushroom, onion, cabbage and cashew nut stir fry with noodles and it was surprisingly tasty. In the evening I looked at holiday deals for myself, looking forward to having some income and going on some holidays of my own later in the year. Of course, I was sensible and didn’t book anything.
Gratitude List 1. Being debt free 2. Having discipline to keep going 3. Cashew nuts – they were previously classed as a luxury.
I was back to having overnight oats with frozen berries for breakfast on Wednesday 19th February. Having had a total of 210 syns for the week, it was not unexpected that I may have put weight on this week. On the home scales I had stayed the same and my measurements showed I had lost 2cm from my bust, but put 4cm on my waist and 2cm on my hips – that wasn’t good! I worked all morning as my Turkish class was cancelled and I had a Webinar training session on Family Favourite holidays over lunch time. I just nibbled on cheese and an apple as I didn’t really have time to make anything before facing Carol’s scales at Fat Club. Once there, I got a lovely surprise to find out that I had put on just 0.3kg (0.7lb) on but was still under my target, just! On the way home I called at the bakery and supermarket to grab a few provisions, here’s what I bought with the prices in lira;
Parlak Bakery 1 loaf 15.00 1 simit 15.00 Total spent 30.00 lira (68p)
For dinner I made a really healthy concoction and resisted the urge to drink wine. I put courgette, onion, tomatoes, peppers and olives in a tray with feta cheese and baked it in the oven. I added oregano and cooked pasta to make a lovely meal which I had seconds left over for tomorrow.
Gratitude List 1. Still being under my target weight 2. Free Webinar training sessions 3. Being able to go shopping and still be within my budget.
On Monday 17th February I tried on the clothes which Janet had given me after, yesterday. They were a smaller size and all of them except for one thing fitted me, so I was pleased as they were really lovely. I had tea and toast for breakfast then got on with some work before having leek & potato soup for lunch. After finishing work for the afternoon, I popped to the bakery to buy some treats for my hosts this evening. Our friends, Sezgin and Nur, had invited me to a family dinner with them and, although they said not to bring anything, I wanted to get something nice for us to share. I also popped to the shops for some essentials. Here are the prices of what I bought, in lira:
Parlak Bakery 1 Orange Cake 50.00 1 Carrot Cake 50.00 0.5kg Baklava 480.00 Total spent 580.00 lira (£13.18)
Şok Supermarket Oregano 5.25 Pasta 12.75 Jellies 34.00 Total spent 52.00 lira (£1.18)
The reason I bought the cake was in case anyone was allergic to nuts but it turned out they both had nuts in anyway. The family are so welcoming and Nur had been cooking away in the kitchen to prepare a feast. We had chicken, fava bean purée, red cabbage tarator, spinach and potatoes. It was really tasty and there was plenty of wine, which Sezgin kept topping up and insisted I finished the bottle! It was a great night and like an extension of the weekend, I hoped I wouldn’t be hung over tomorrow.
Gratitude List 1. Treats from the shops 2. Getting together with my Turkish friends 3. A delicious dinner and lots of wine.
Sunday 9th February was still pretty cold as I went to meet friends for a Sunday stroll. I’d had a cup of tea and some overnight oats for breakfast and we aimed to walk to Gunlüklü and back. I hoped my feet would be ok as my trainers had fallen apart and my wellies still smelled of shit so I had to wear my Vietnamese porter sandals. I put an ankle support on my sore ankle to help and had a pair of socks in my bag, just in case. The walk was very nice but we did go back to show the others Shits Creek where Debbie and I got a bit of a surprise. The road with all the puddles on had been levelled off and the manure in the arık had been ‘tidied up’ somewhat. In the dry weather it did look as if it would have been impossible for the incident I had previously found myself in, to have happened without noticing. We had a cup of tea at the Gunlüklü, walked past the dinosaur and, at the end, decided to go to Kaunos tea gardens. By which time it was a bit warmer and we decided to have some food, even though my tummy had been iffy this morning. I had a sage tea and a chicken sandwich which was fantastic for 165 lira (£3.75).
On the way back home I decided to pop to the supermarket, here’s what I bought with prices in lira:
It was a sign I had increased my monthly budget, as I was splashing out on nuts and beef in the same shopping trip! I was meant to be meeting Jamie and his friend, Aimee, to celebrate her birthday but I lost my phone, which turned out to have fallen out of my pocket in Migros. When I went back the girl who found it had put it in the till, which was so good of her. Once home and after a hot shower, I did a couple of email replies, then realised I needed to rest my foot and didn’t go to join Jamie, Aimee and Scott. I ended up having left over Sunday dinner and painkillers that night and staying in. Before bed I had a sage tea and a Dido chocolate bar.
Gratitude List 1. Sunday Walk with friends 2. Ankle Support bandages 3. Dido chocolate bars.
Photo Credit – some photos by Debbie, the last one from Captain Caveman on his Sunday walk in the UK
I woke up to exciting news on Thursday 6th February; my book ‘You Can’t Shit Yourself on a Bicycle….….and other handy travel tips’ was published on Kobo 2 days earlier than expected. I was an author! People could now buy my eBook on Kobo and read 12 chapters of what not to do in various situations while abroad. It was an informative short book aimed at helping people like me who had never travelled to Vietnam or South East Asia before. I hoped my reader could get an idea how to experience better travel and have a few laughs at the situations they may find themselves in. My target audience was me, 15 years ago! I was a bit taken aback as I wasn’t expecting it to be published so fast but when I logged in to see it, the Kobo website told me I couldn’t buy my own book, as I was in Turkey. I sent the link to a Turkish friend to see if he could help in any way, but he couldn’t view it either. I also now had to figure out how to check it and get it marketed so that people would buy it. I’d had so many people say they would, while I was writing it, so I hoped so – I wanted to make a series of amusing handy travel tip books so that I could eventually get them published in book shops at airports. I would only make about £3-£4 per book so I couldn’t afford to set the price any lower than I had. I decided to see how it went, after all I do a blog for free so those readers might possibly support me as well as Facebook friends. I worked out that if I wanted the books to sell enough to support my residency in Turkey, I would need to sell at least 8 per day on each and every day of the year. I shared the link with The Aussies as Kobo can be used in Australia but they said they preferred to wait for the physical copy to be available. Kobo was eBook only. Jamie popped round to bring me 2 light fittings that he didn’t want, but Captain Caveman did, and we had a hot beverage and a chat. I told him about me becoming an author of a handy travel tips book and he too said he would like the physical copy, not an eBook. I messaged my Mom and she was also in favour of a physical copy of the book so it looked like I needed to work out how to get that sorted out.
I had more of Captain Caveman’s veggie soup with pasta for lunch and it was really tasty. Our team meeting with Resort Experts was at 2pm where Jamie did an update about Turkey which was really good. After that, I cracked back on with more work and then decided to pop to the shops as I had run out of Fabric Softener. I made the mistake of going before eating dinner and bought some treats plus a whole chicken which was on offer. Here’s what I bought with the prices in lira;
Migros Supermarket (6.30pm) 1 Bounty chocolate bar 34.90 1 pack Marshmallows 34.95 1l Pink Grapefruit 39.90 Lentils 39.95 Fabric Softener 95.95 A 2.3kg chicken 182.57 Total spent 428.22 lira (£9.73)
It was a sign I had upped the budget this month as I seemed to be doing Frivolous February, instead of Frugal February. I warmed up some of the leftover vegetable curry for dinner with steamed rice and decided to finish off the rest of the wine I had opened yesterday. At 9pm I had a video call with Vanessa who is back in Sheffield and was asking how we were both doing in our new jobs. She was hoping to catch up with Captain Caveman since they were both in the same city. We were on the phone for about 2 hours talking about anything and everything and it was nice to speak to a Dalyan friend who knows me well. When I told her about my newly published book she was up for buying it once it was available on Amazon for her Kindle!
Gratitude List 1. Having my book published on Kobo 2. Free light fittings from Jamie 3. Catching up with Vanessa.
When I woke up on Friday 7th February, it was so cold at only 3°C, with a feels like -1°C because of the wind. I stayed in my office with the AC on until the sun came out enough to warm the room up a bit more. I had wholemeal toast with cheese spread for breakfast and then had a hot chocolate with marshmallows mid-morning to keep warm. I worked all morning and signed up from some ad-hoc free trainings and webinars to increase my earning potential and freshen up my sales skills. After more soup at lunch, I finished off all my follow ups and then decided I was going to tackle Amazon KDP once again. Captain Caveman had suggested I set up a new email and reregister just for the purpose of the book(s), so I did, and faffed about for ages trying to load my manuscript on to their bespoke system in the right format. I worked on it for so long that I forgot to have any dinner and later had cheese and wine before bed. I also got a message from Vanessa to say she had sorted out a suitcase for Captain Caveman to use to bring over to Dalyan at the end of March – this was so good of her!
Gratitude List 1. Finally getting somewhere with Amazon KDP 2. Managing to stay warm in my spare room/office 3. Helpful friends in Sheffield.
I did my measurements first thing on Wednesday 5th February; I had put 1cm on my bust and waist, my hips had stayed the same – all were under or on target, though, so I was pleased. On the home scales I had put on a slight amount of 0.15kg (0.3lb) so we would see what Carol’s scales said later at Fat Club. For breakfast I had green tea and a pink grapefruit then finished off a bit of admin. I got dressed in what I thought was suitable clothing, given the sun was streaming in, but I was taken aback when I got outside. It was really cold and windy but luckily I had my big coat as I went to Turkish class. It was the first one back after Christmas and was at Ela’s Kitchen. It’s nice there but the smell of the bacon and sausages cooking is like torture when I had to resist before Fat Club later. I spent 80 lira (£1.82) on a cup of Yorkshire tea and enjoyed it. I got busy with enquiries and had to just go to Fat Club for the weighing and then leave. Surprisingly, I had lost 0.4kg (0.9lb) on Carol’s scales, taking me back to under my target! I quickly called at the shop on the way home and here’s what I bought, prices in lira;
Migros Supermarket 1 carton of Tomato puree 21.95 1 can of Chickpeas 30.95 Cheese spread 39.50 2 large packets of crisps 42.00 1 wholemeal loaf 59.75 Frozen fruit 134.95 Total spent 367.05 (£8.34)
I also got a chocolate croissant from the bakery but I forgot how much I paid exactly (less than £1).
Our team meeting tonight was now moved to Thursday afternoon, which was better for me. I shoved a load of veg, chickpeas and some spices in the slow cooker to make a veggie curry for tonight’s dinner as I had invited a friend over for wine. I worked until 6pm when I found myself researching more than I needed for a Japan enquiry. Did you know there’s a Capybara Café where you can pet them while having a drink? My friend came over and we enjoyed the Levissi wine and our veggie curry – it must have been good as we had seconds, and chatted until almost midnight.
Gratitude List 1. Losing weight and being back under target 2. Turkish class 3. Wine and curry night.
Here’s 15 things I did in January to help get through a long month on a very low budget:
1. I set a budget and divided it in to the 31 days of the month. In my case it was just less than 300 lira (£6.80) per day. 2. I introduced several planned ‘zero spend’ days in to my week where I would not shop or even nip out for a cup of tea. 3. When I knew I expected to spend more than 300 lira in a day, I would not spend anything the day before and/or after to keep within budget. 4. I limited buying any convenience foods like jars of sauce or English products, unless they were on offer. 5. I did meal plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner for every day of the week so that I didn’t spend on eating out. 6. I batch cooked soups and stews and froze at least half of everything I made, to eat later in the month. 7. I bought only fruit and vegetables that were in season at the market or supermarket, making sure to avoid the more expensive ready chopped ones and picked oranges, lemons and pink grapefruit from trees in the garden. 8. I did not throw any produce away which meant making sure I used up everything I had before it went past it’s best. 9. I only bought meat (generally chicken) when it was at a reduced price and bulked out with lentils if using mince. 10. I made 2 lists of things I might spend money on, dividing in to ‘needs’ and ‘wants’ – this really helped to focus on the priorities over the nice to haves. 11. If I went out to eat, I chose something I couldn’t make at home and took any leftovers home and I always checked the menu prices. 12. I drastically reduced the amount of alcohol I drank, specifically staying away from the bars – I’m not someone who can easily drink water or just go for one! 13. I drank tea at the tea gardens where it is very cheap to drink local cay. 14. I walked instead of going to exercise classes or a gym that I couldn’t afford. 15. I limited the amount of cash I had on me so that I wouldn’t be tempted to buy things spontaneously – if I needed it, I would go back to purchase it.
There were other things I did and I’m sure you will be able to add more ideas – feel free to let me know!
I had just one dog free day on Sunday 26th January and so, when I woke up, I felt like I should make the most of it. I’d already booked for Sunday lunch in the afternoon with friends but Debbie and I decided we would go for an impromptu Sunday Walk. Today would turn out to be quite the day and neither of us expected what happened to happen!!! It was cold so I put my footless tights on and borrowed Captain Caveman’s nice merino wool socks, they were rather thick but I planned on wearing my wellies due to the amount of rain we had yesterday. I couldn’t decide which jeans to put on so I dragged some jeggings, which were a bit big for me, out of the charity bag I had been filling up. I set off in the rain but I had my small rucksack and an umbrella so all was fine. It did stop raining once Debbie and I got started and we got quite far before the ‘incident’ occurred.
We were walking on the flat on a lane, not too far from Eskiköy, when we came to a bit of a blockage in the path. It was filled with puddles, on the left was a drop to a flowing stream and on the right was a recently ploughed farmer’s field. On our path in front of us were the dirty puddles and Debbie had trainers on. I was wearing much more appropriate footwear; yellow wellies and Captain Caveman’s socks so it made perfect sense for me to offer to test out how deep the puddles were. I suggested Debbie wait while I walked forward to test the depth and I found that the middle of the slippy lane was ankle deep. Debbie really didn’t want to get her feet wet and looked like she may take a chance on walking on the left, too near to the stream for my liking. I said not to, as I didn’t want to have to rescue her if she fell in – it was quite a drop. I mentioned that maybe we could go to the right and risk walking via the farmer’s field which had quite a bit of manure in it but was flat. What happened next was a bit of a blur as I stepped just a couple of steps to my right (if only it was as easy as doing the Timewarp) and ended up in a predicament. My right foot sank very quickly into cold, soft, smelly shit. As my left foot followed suit, I had 2 things pop in to my head, simultaneously. Practical advice from one of my former senior school teachers that was actually about not staying still if ever I was to get stuck in quicksand and to not put my hands down. So, I started to try to move my legs backwards to stop them sinking further as the manure pile was very deep and similar consistency to quick sand. I was quickly sinking further, it was so cold and wet and smelly. Then came the realisation I was not going to be able to get myself out. If you’ve ever seen the TV show ‘The Vicar of Dibley’ where Dawn French goes in to a puddle, it was not dissimilar. Debbie meanwhile, admitted her first thought was to get the camera out but she soon decided against it when she saw the sheer panic in my eyes, I told her I couldn’t move and that she would have to help drag me out. To give credit to Debbie, after the initial laughing, she did effectively manage to drag me out of the shit, without me pulling her in. I was in a mess, a bit shaken and I stunk of shit!! When I looked down I had been almost fanny deep in soaking wet cold manure and now my jeggings were covered and my wellies were full of shit! Debbie was crying with laughter as she got her phone out for a photo and was clearly disappointed not to have actually got one of me ‘in the shit’, literally.
A little way down the road, from what we would later rename ‘Shits Creek’ was a house so we decided we would go there to ask for help to wash the manure off. The farmers were stood outside looking towards us – potentially feeling bad for filling and blocking the arık (small drainage canal) with their big pile of poo. As we walked, and I worried about the squelchy shit-saturated socks I’d borrowed from Captain Caveman’s drawer without permission, I realised how lucky that my phone in my back pocket was still safe. Debbie called Mike to come and rescue us but didn’t actually tell him what happened, just to bring the car, wet wipes, bin liners and an old blanket/towel because we needed rescuing. As we approached the farmer, I saw that he had a water pump in his garden and I moved towards it, he and his wife/sister (it was hard to tell) gestured for me to get back. They hosed me down next to the stream with a powerful hose of cold (but not freezing) water. By this time a bit of shock and hysteria had set in and I was quite happy to just attempt to walk home without taking the wellies off. The shitty socks had swelled and the wellies were suctioned on as I tried to remove them, just to wash my smelly feet. The farmer was overly keen to help and proceeded to use brute force to get them off, not knowing that there was a vacuum created. My bad ankle didn’t half take some twisting and he finally yanked off the wellie while I held on to Debbie. Now that Debbie knew I would live, she was no longer holding back the laughter and we both had tears rolling down our cheeks after saying bye and a reluctant thanks to our ‘helpers’, who had more than likely dumped the manure in the arık in the first place.
Mike arrived and had assumed there was some shit involved but all 3 of us were laughing so much at me getting in such a shit situation just to prevent Debbie from getting wet feet. The bin liners weren’t big enough for me to fit in to so we tied one round each foot and I sat on another in the back seat of their car. We drove with the windows down and they dropped me off at home where I am lucky to always have hot water on. Although our Sunday stroll had been cut short I still needed to get cleaned up for the afternoon antics and pop to the shops. I said my farewell and thanks to Debbie and Mike and walked in to our complex, pondering the logistics of getting my shitty stuff off before I went in to the apartment. I sat on the bench having pulled down my dirty and wet jeggings but leaving my footless tights on. I was about to take off my wellies and socks when a workman from next door looked over and was met with what I can only assume looked like a woman having a toilet break in her own garden. By this time I didn’t care and I just wanted to not be able to smell shit. I put the wellies and socks on the steps, in one of the bin liners and the jeggings in another, destined for the bin on my way back out. That shower was probably one of the best and longest I’ve ever had – I still had manure on my knees and in between my toes which took several washes to get it off!
Jamie had said they would meet me in Sofra bar, if I wanted to meet there before the Sunday lunch. However, I was pushing it to get there on time and was paranoid that I still smelled of manure. Due to being an eczema sufferer in the past I use only natural products so I wasn’t convinced that they had eliminated the stench. I threw out the shitty jeggings but everything else went in the wash, including my ‘dinlo’ Oxalis rain jacket which may not survive. I’d invited Debbie and Mike round for a drink tonight and wanted to get a few nibbles in from the shop too. I nipped to Migros and here’s what I bought, prices in lira;
Migros Supermarket 2 plastic bags 1.00 (I had none left at home)! Plain Crisps 27.00 Plain hummus 39.75 3 x Dido chocolate bars 40.50 Tomato hummus 42.50 Crinkle crisps 44.95 Dates 81.95 Haydari 92.50 Soft cheese 105.50 1.5kg chicken 107.37 Mozarella cheese 137.90 Total spent 720.92 lira (£16.38)
I popped the shopping away and kept the bags in my rucksack, just in case! I then went to meet the others in Sofra where there were a few Dalyan Dwellers. On arrival, I asked Drew if he could smell shit and he couldn’t, so that was good! I wasn’t going to drink but after my ordeal and the fact that my leg and ankle ached, I took the white wine that Melanie didn’t want. I didn’t have time to drink it before we had to go for our Sunday lunch so I left it.
I had booked a table for the 5 of us at River House for 2pm and we were met by Orhan. It was the first time I had met the new waiter and I was a little taken aback that he kissed my hand then offered us a table outside. We all preferred a table indoors so he went to sort that out while we chatted to some of the Dalyan Dwellers who were sat outside and had finished their first course already. One of them told us that they had been coming to River House for their Sunday meal a few times and that we should ask for extra roast potatoes. I thought it a bit odd but went inside to be seated with Jamie, Drew, Melanie and Nanny Kay. I decided to have the beef, in fact everyone but Nanny Kay had beef, and she had the chicken. Drew and I shared a bottle of red wine that we didn’t think to ask the price of but the beef dinner was 650 lira (£14.77) and the chicken 550 lira (£12.50), including apple pie and custard. I ordered mine without mashed potato but they forgot so I gave mine to Nanny Kay and I should’ve remembered to ask for the gravy on the side as I’m not really a fan. We got a shared starter with bread and the wine was good, Orhan had insisted he give us some to try first as Jamie preferred white. The food was nice but the chicken dinner was better value and it was definitely diet friendly as the portion size wasn’t massive. I certainly didn’t need a Tupperware for any spare. None of us did ask for extra vegetables but we probably should have – there’s something odd about getting your main course, though, and then having to ask for more of it! The food was nice but I much prefer their Turkish food. When the bill came, Orhan explained he had given us discount on the wine, which was kind of him. My share came to a total of 1,200 lira (£27.27) for half a bottle of red wine, my 2 course dinner and a tip. It was great to go out with friends for another celebration, and River House is a nice place with good toilets. I’d definitely go again but I think I’d stick to their traditional Turkish dinners next time – they do an amazing İskender kebab.
After dinner, we went back to Sofra bar where the bar man presented me with my leftover wine from earlier, which he’d saved in the fridge, and I’d forgotten about. I had to put soda water in it to get it down, though, as I’m not a massive drinker these days. Once it started to get chilly, I said my goodbyes and decided to walk the scenic route home, prior to Debbie and Mike popping round for drinks that evening. Every now and then this morning’s manure fiasco came back in to my head and I started to laugh. Debbie and Mike arrived with homemade marmalade and a lovely bottle of wine which we shared and it was definitely not a 150 lira bottle. I did a few nibbles including a selection of cheese and crackers, soft cheese stuffed dates drizzled with honey and a few ‘bought from the shop’ dips with crisps and carrot sticks. Debbie and I could not stop laughing as we retold the ordeal in much detail to Mike, yet again. I’d messaged Captain Caveman to say we would call him as he could not believe how I had possibly managed to come a cropper in the way I did – he knew that path well. We had a video call with him so that Debbie could fill him in as to how I ended up thigh deep in a shit filled arık! Oh how we laughed, while he shook his head in disbelief. I’m sure he was more concerned about his manure-covered merino wool socks that had already been through the wash twice, than me. I drank a few glasses of wine to ease the still throbbing ankle and aching leg and my face ached from all the laughing by the time my guests left. I didn’t go to bed until late but I set my alarm for an early start tomorrow. Dalyan might be a sleepy little town in winter but there’s hardly a dull moment!
Gratitude List 1. Being rescued from a shitty situation and traumatic experience 2. Spending time with friends over a Sunday lunch 3. So much laughter with Debbie and Mike over Manure-gate!
Saturday 25th January was my last day with Lady C as her owners were arriving back late tonight. I had planned to go to the market but the weather wasn’t looking too good. Luckily, I managed to get Lady C out for a walk with Chico and back in before it started lashing it down. I had the same again for breakfast and I was definitely finding it kept me fuller for a bit longer. I noticed when I opened my diary to check flight time that the internet was due to expire today. Unfortunately, it’s a pain that we can only pay per month, with proof of residency, now so I had to venture out in the rain. For 2025 the prices had, of course, increased so I was prepared to be parting with more cash. When I got there I was soaking wet, despite the umbrella, and my tariff had gone from 400 lira (£9.09) to 550 lira (£12.50) per month. It was still much cheaper than the UK but a 38% increase here is a lot. My next job was to call at the shops as I was already out in the rain, anyway. Here’s the prices and also what I spent at the supermarket, in lira;
Pharmacy 2 boxes of Cerazette Total spent 658.36 lira (£14.96)
I got ready for Lady C’s owners returning and gave her a brush to make sure she looked smart, then I had pizza and wine for dinner while I waited for their arrival. Lady C was excited to see them and her owners were so glad to be back. The rain was still heavy so I called Fikri, the taxi driver, and little Lady C tried to jump in to the taxi with me – another dog friend happy with my services! It was nearing midnight by the time I got to bed so I was really tired and looking forward to a bit of a lay in tomorrow.
Gratitude List 1. Lady C being off the lead but walking with me and following commands 2. Pizza and wine 3. A happy dog.
Weigh day and Fat Club comes round so quickly and on Wednesday 22nd January I knew my actions from yesterday were going to have an impact. I didn’t bother getting weighed at home, I decided to leave it to Carol’s scales later and we had something a little different planned for today’s session. One of the ladies had agreed to hold a Taster Session party at her house and we all planned to take a dish and share it, along with some wine. I had tea and toast in the morning and took Lady C on a longer walk so that she would sleep all afternoon. It was remarkably sunny, despite the weather forecast saying it should’ve been bouncing down with rain, so I popped to the shops. Here’s what I bought with prices in lira;
I also worked all morning and up until just before 3pm so that I could take the rest of the day off, but I still had the team meeting tonight to get back for. I roasted some chickpeas in the air fryer and packed up some rice and my rice cooker to take to Debbie’s, who was hosting.
At the Taster Session we all got weighed first and I had, unsurprisingly, put on 0.3kg (0.7lb), meaning that I was just over my target weight now. We had so much syn free or low syn food with wine and we all had such a laugh. It was great to have this support group to keep us all on track or just be there when we fell off the plan, as was so easy to do while living in a holiday town like Dalyan. We had a really nice butternut squash soup from Sarah & Rob, which we all agreed was a firm favourite. The bulgur wheat & sweet potato burgers with an onion dip were fantastic. Debbie had even added some air fryer chips and roasted veggies. One of my favourites from a previous taster session were the cheese pasties which Carol had made and I couldn’t resist having a few of those. I loved Tina’s lentil curry which went well with my steamed rice and some couscous. My two helpings of the dahl went down so well that I forgot to get a photo of it but it always tastes better than it looks anyway. I drank red wine, Debbie also surprised us with a bottle of fizz to cheers the occasion and it was really lovely. But the most surprising dish of the afternoon came from Brigette who had turned fruit and mini meringues in to a masterpiece by stirring some Salted Caramel flavoured Options in to Quark to make the ultimate diet dessert! It was a game changer! While we were busy enjoying ourselves, there was a storm and it rained heavily but by the time Debbie had packed me up with leftover veggie burgers and dip it had stopped.
Luckily, Lady C was now a master of sploshing and she was very happy to get ankle deep in all the puddles, I sploshed along with her as I had my wellies on! That evening, I didn’t have or need any dinner and I was busy with our Resort Experts team meeting. The meeting went well but there was definitely something that I related to well. As is the nature of the business we were seeing quite a few time wasters from potential customers who were asking for quotes from multiple sources and then booking direct anyway. This was likely to happen but it was definitely increasing and we even had people asking 2 of the team for different countries but with the same names and dates. We were encouraged to share our business page with family and friends and ask them to like, follow and share, which I had been doing. I was finding I had more commitment from complete strangers and I wasn’t sure why. I was trying not to compare myself to others but I was still struggling to get family and friends to even like or follow my business page. Some of my team members had over 1,000 followers already and I was stuck at less than 250 and most of them were people I didn’t know. I had 1,700 friends on Facebook but not that many were following me. Naively I had thought at least 50% of my Facebook friends would be on board but it turned out to be less than 10%. So, if you are reading this and haven’t already, please can you like and follow my Jo Lo – Resort Experts Facebook page!? I’d be very grateful and I will most certainly have sent you an invite to it that you may have missed or ignored if you had more important things going on at the time. It really does help build up my business if I get more followers and it also allows access to other useful functions once I get over 500 followers. Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61567498001133
Thanks to all of you that have liked and followed already, or even popped a comment on – I really appreciate it and know I really can help more people find great holidays and accommodation. I’ve seen so many that I want to go to myself but I’m being sensible for now! I spoke to Captain Caveman before bed and he had a meeting tomorrow with his new manager so I didn’t bother him with my ‘first world’ problems. He was doing well and had plans to go to the cinema in Sheffield this weekend and then was off back down to London for a few days to see his parents.
Gratitude List 1. The Fat Club Taster Session party 2. Having the support of the Fat Club ladies to keep me going 3. Speaking to Captain Caveman who was adapting to England very well.
Debbie and Mike had invited me to join them for a trip out on Tuesday 21st January. The plan was to drive over to Göcek to the wine shop so that we could all take advantage of the reasonably priced wine before it went up in price. I had just 1 slice of wholemeal toast with cheese spread and a cup of tea for breakfast before walking Lady C. The drive to Göcek was smooth and we were in the Levissi Wine House by 11.30am. I was impressed that I had remembered where it was as Debbie had parked on a main road where I hadn’t got my bearings. The lady at the shop recognised me and we chatted about coming all the way from Dalyan for the lovely wine. She said that we could still buy the stock she had left at the same price but it would be going up and stocks were running low. The stocks of Merlot had depleted quite fast but there were still stocks of the Makri brand as well as the Levissi Cabernet Sauvignon, the Gamay (a favourite of ours) and the Petit Verdot. There was still lots of rosé and white but the 3 of us only wanted to get red this time. I decided on 12 bottles of the Gamay which, at still only 150 lira (£3.41), was a great spend of 1,800 lira (£41) for a case of 12. I’m sure that a couple of nights out on the town drinking wine in the Dalyan bars would come to that so I was pleased. I was well versed with borrowing the trolley from nearby Carrefour supermarket, as instructed previously on our first visit with Ian and Janet. I was still very grateful for their recommendation of Levissi Wine House as it meant that we had saved a lot of money on our wine purchases in the last few months. Steering the trolley was funny and, while Debbie went to bring the car nearer, Mike and I tried our best to not injure anyone, or ourselves, with a wayward trolley. As we were so quick stocking up on the wine, we decided to have a little wander in Göcek and we even did the tourist thing of standing on a bridge and getting photos for the Instagram. A couple of young ladies were there doing it and so we just had to join in! Göcek has a lovely port and the sun was shining so after a stroll we returned to a fancy café/restaurant on the harbour front for a beverage. West Café & Bistro was a popular place and the staff were very efficient when us ‘oldies’ didn’t want to use the QR code menus and brought actual ones for us. We weren’t eating but I did take a photo of the menu and noticed a soup was 210 lira (£4.77), pizzas started at 330 lira (£7.50) and a chicken kebab main was 570 lira (£12.95). The place was spotlessly clean and had good toilets so I thought the prices reflected the quality of the place. Debbie and Mike shared a cafetière of coffee and I really enjoyed my large Turkish tea. The tea was 75 lira (£1.70) which is very expensive for Turkish prices, however, it did come very well presented and with a biscuit. We all commented how lovely it was to sit there and enjoy our drinks in the sunshine on such a glorious day. I also thought it would be a great place to come with friends and family when they are over to visit. What we didn’t notice until we were leaving was that they had a cake counter so next time that might be one to try for a treat.
We decided, as we were on a budget, that we would stick to our plan and eat lunch at Dalaman prison café on the way back. As it was my weigh day tomorrow I was planning on eating healthily but ended up throwing caution to the wind by ordering the köfte which came with bread, chips and onion rings. It was absolutely delicious and our total bill for the 3 of us, with drinks too, came to just 730 lira (£16.60). Less than £6 each for a substantial lunch was more my kind of eatery and the service at the prison is also excellent. As we left the café, it started to rain so it looked like we had timed our jaunt well, and I’m so glad I had decided to go. When we got back to Dalyan, I got the wine in to the cupboards so that I wouldn’t be tempted to drink any tonight, my 4th consecutive alcohol free evening. Lady C and I went out for a walk early as the heavy rain was coming and Chico had been waiting patiently to join us. We also bumped in to a friend who lives round the corner and said hello to her 2 dogs and then another stray joined us on the rest of the walk. There was sploshing aplenty for Lady C and she was soaked when we got back home. She slept while I cracked on with some work and then we had a bit of fun doing the biscuit trick again. We watched repeats of ‘Celebrity Coach Trip’ on TV, the one with Paul Danan on, from ages ago. By bed time I was very tired and really looking forward to a good sleep.
Gratitude List 1. Having some time off to go to Göcek 2. Enjoying a prison lunch 3. Lady C being really well behaved and meeting other dogs.
Photo credit – the photos of me in Göcek taken by Debbie
After a couple of exciting nights out this week, it was time to take it steady on Saturday 18th January. After a dog walk and beans on toast with a cup of tea for breakfast, I decided to do something similar to last week. I had just a bit of editing and the summary of my ‘You Can’t Shit Yourself on a Bicycle…’ book to finish off so I decided to crack on with it. Unfortunately, Amazon seemed to think I already had an account so I couldn’t log in to attempt to upload the book! It also kept sending codes to a phone number that I didn’t have and was annoying. I had more cake for lunch as I didn’t have any time to make something and then I did quite a long walk with Lady C and Chico. Back home, I had a chicken and chickpea curry with steamed rice and then taught Lady C a new trick. She wasn’t keen on the biscuits in her bowl so I was trying to encourage her to eat 5 before she was allowed a piece of chicken sausage as a treat. I lined the biscuits up on the step but she wouldn’t take them. I lined them up on the carpet but then she decided she wanted to get her own biscuits from the bowl. After some perseverance she managed it and was so excited to get the treat.
Gratitude List 1. Seeing Lady C and Chico getting along on the walk 2. Lady C learning the biscuit trick 3. Having enough discipline to not quit, when Amazon tipped me over the edge (for the first time).
I was meant to be going on a walk on Sunday 19th January and I hadn’t thought I would need to set an alarm! Unfortunately, I woke up 15 minutes before I would need to be setting off and hadn’t had chance to walk Lady C. I messaged to cancel and said I would head to the Kaunos tea gardens for after they got back so that I could catch up with the Secret Squirrel Sunday walkers. After a dog walk, I had orange and pink grapefruit, tea and toast. I got invited to an online networking event for free which Lisa Johnson, a famous online business strategist, had recommended, so I signed up to do that tomorrow. I did make it in time to meet the walkers and was surprised to see so many police at and around the tea gardens but I wasn’t sure what for. On the way back I went to the bank and then the shop, here is what I bought with prices in lira;
When I got back, I sat down with a cup of tea and a Dido chocolate bar while catching up on some admin. It was lovely and sunny out, so I took Lady C out for an early walk and decided to try her off the lead for a short stretch just to see what she would do. She surprised me and was quite good. That evening I got invited round to Jamie and Drew’s where we finished off the roast chicken dinner from Wednesday (it had been frozen) but we decided to do it without any boozing. Edna was not impressed that I was on water and she had a little sulk. When I got home I did a bit of work before bed as I had an important errand to run tomorrow morning.
Gratitude List 1. Having an unplanned lay in on a Sunday 2. Having tea with the Secret Squirrel Sunday Walkers 3. An impromptu dinner with Jamie, Drew, Norman and Edna.
Photo credit – some of the Sunday walk from Debbie
joloyolo 