Hanoi to Ayutthaya – 12th April

I’ve had some unusual Fridays in my life but Friday 12th April certainly fell in to that category. We got up and packed our bags ready for an exciting break to Thailand, I was feeling a bit better but still had a cold and a cough. We walked to Saint Honore bakery to get some breakfast to take to the airport. They were building outside so it wasn’t easy to get in and we ended up just getting a croissant. By 10.30am we had exited Vietnam at Hanoi airport so that I could send a photo of my passport stamp to Lynn Visa. She was going to apply for another visa for me while I was out of the country and, hopefully, send me the new one on Tuesday before our lunchtime flight back. Captain Caveman had organised a weekend in Bangkok for us and we were going to be meeting up with one of his Son Doong customers. Thailand was celebrating Songkran this weekend so there would be lots of water festivals everywhere. Our Vietnam Airlines flight from Hanoi to Bangkok left at 12.45pm and we got seats sat together, me in my preferred aisle seat. We boarded 30 minutes late but still departed on time. On the flight we got a really nice meal which included; a banana, a beef noodle dish and some bread – even the hot tea with milk wasn’t bad. On landing, Captain Caveman had to change $200 at a fairly low rate and got 6,742 Thai baht. Even though money was still a concern to me, Captain Caveman had put money aside for this holiday and said not to worry.
We were not staying in Bangkok for the next 2 nights, Captain Caveman had booked us in to a small hotel in Ayutthaya, the old capital. The journey there was not for the inexperienced traveller as we had to ask a member of staff at Bangkok airport train station how to get there. He told Captain Caveman it was off the edge of the map, but, luckily, he was well versed with the London Underground map and it wasn’t dissimilar. The train was a bit of an eye-opener and we only just made it on to it in time. Somehow we had managed to get from Bangkok airport to Bang Sue Junction, buy a 14 baht (30p) ticket each, for a 90 minute journey and grab a seat. The train was not unlike one I’d been on in India, it was insanely hot and fairly busy and I found it difficult to cope. I moved seats several times to try to get near a fan, while Captain Caveman played Bridge on his phone for the duration of the ride. At 6.23pm I had never been so ready to alight the train, an absolutely dripping mess of sweat. The train station at Ayutthaya was nice and Captain Caveman managed to get a Grab taxi without any issue. When we arrived at Nature Home, our accommodation for the next 2 nights, the owner showed us to our room. He proceeded to educate Captain Caveman on how to work an Air Con remote, how to open and close windows and how it was very hot here for English people. That went down well and I could tell Captain Caveman had stopped listening.
At 6.55pm I unexpectedly received a message from Lynn Visa, who had already got my new Vietnamese visa for me. I checked it, it was correct, and thanked her for such a quick service – well worth the $80 (£64). This meant that I was permitted to stay in Vietnam for another 90 days should I need to.
That evening we needed to get some laundry so we spent our Friday night between Happy Mix Wash & Dry launderette and Earthling Craft Cafe & Bar. An usual day turned strange when I realised that the Earthling Craft Cafe & Bar had spiders, reptiles and sphynx cats. Luckily they also had good ales, a delightful cider and excellent food. Happy Mix was amazing and we managed to do a load of laundry for an acceptable 105 baht (£2.28) and this included tumble drying as well. Captain Caveman and I took it in turns to check on the cycles as it was just across the road and had free WiFi.
Our garlic bread and pizza at Earthling was very good and I don’t recall the prices as Captain Caveman paid but I know it was reasonable. Back at the Nature Home hotel, I didn’t take long to fall asleep which was good as we had a busy day tomorrow.

Hanoi – 11th April

Thursday 11th April was one of our most extravagant and expensive days of the year so far. I was still feeling really poorly when I woke up so Captain Caveman went alone to meet friends for a Bun Cha breakfast. He also had a walk to the famous Hanoi train street but didn’t take any photos as he’s been before. I got up to a lovely surprise when I needed my morning pee; a blocked toilet with a real treat from my other half! I could’ve cried but, instead, I got dressed, cleaned my teeth and walked to Oriberry cafe to use the loo and have breakfast. I had a hot winter tea to help sooth my throat and cough along with turmeric and ginger cookies.
Captain Caveman came to meet me and we had words about the toilet situation and I paid my bill of 110,000VND (£3.45). I also transferred our Turkish letting agent the money for her cut of the rent paid, a deep clean of Captain Caveman’s apartment and a replacement front door lock. The lock came as a surprise as there was nothing wrong with it when I left a month ago, but now it was broken! The only people who had been in were the workmen for the repair and replacement of the balcony railings, which we still needed to be finished by next week and were going to cost 55,000 Turkish lira (£1,358). Captain Caveman was aware of these costs and had been saving up before finding out about his job but, still, it was all pay out.
I was hungry so Captain Caveman decided to treat me to a nice lunch at Hanoi Taco Bar which looked out on to West Lake. We both ordered the lunchtime special, him with tacos and me with enchiladas. It was very tasty and for only 350,000VND (£10.98) for the both of us with a drink, it was worth it.
I was still very snotty but we decided to go to Republic for a drink overlooking the lake. To try to get some iron in me, I plumped for a Guinness and Captain Caveman had an Espresso Martini. Next, I decided to top up my calcium levels with a White Russian while Captain Caveman had 2 pints of Sapporo. Our bill for the 5 drinks came to 560,000VND (£17.57) which I didn’t think was bad for a fancy bar in Hanoi.
We walked back to Aisha hotel where I tried to make Captain Caveman deal with telling the staff about the toilet blockage. He said the cleaner would have been and sorted it out by now, but he was wrong. The cleaner was in another room so I went to get her and hoped Captain Caveman would speak to her. He laid on the bed on his phone and ignored the whole thing while she obviously thought it was my blockage. I couldn’t cope with it without heaving so, as she shoved her hand in to a plastic bag and then down the toilet, I went downstairs to sit in reception. When the lady finished she came downstairs and gave me 2 bottles of water, obviously thinking I was ill. I was so embarrassed and when I got back to the room, Captain Caveman had not moved or spoken to the woman! I was not pleased, at all!

Captain Caveman had arranged for us to meet up with Johan at a fancy restaurant in Dang Thai Mai, Tay Ho (West Lake) in the evening. On the way, we called for a cheeky drink at The Bottle Shop, I just had a soda as I was still not well but was getting better.
At Los Fuegos, where Johan was a regular, we indulged in the most amazing meal I’d had so far in Vietnam. No expense was spared as we tasted so many different dishes and it was Captain Caveman’s holiday, after all. I really ẹnjoyed 2 of the dishes which I thought I’d replicate once I was back in Turkey; the water melon & feta skewers and the dates with goats cheese – both were simple but amazing! Johan chose the wine which was a vintage Pinotage/Syrah at 840,000VND (£26.35) per bottle. Here’s what the 3 of us ordered and shared for our dinner, prices in Dong;

Black garlic sauce 60,000
Grilled Brussel sprouts 80,000
Watermelon & feta 125,000
Cheese 135,000
Bone Marrow 220,000
3 bottles of sparkling water 420,000
Rump steak 490,000
Skirt steak 730,000
3 bottles of red wine 2,520,000
Churros 100,000
Dates with Goats cheese 140,000
Total (Inc tax & tip) 5,020,000VND (£157.60)

It was worth the just over £52 each, which included a bottle of wine and a bottle of San Pellegrino water each, but I did feel a bit out of sorts for spending almost a week’s budget on one meal. It definitely made up for the shitty toilet incident earlier, though. Los Fuegos closed at 10pm so, after a quick photo with a Maradona painting, we were back to The Bottle Shop for one last drink. We said goodbye to Johan with a loose arrangement to meet up on our return to Hanoi.
Back in the hotel by 11.30pm, Captain Caveman fell asleep instantly on top of the covers, in just his pants. I stayed awake coughing for quite some time, hoping to be better for tomorrow’s 12.45pm flight.

Hanoi – 10th April

I slept in until pretty late on Wednesday 10th April and my cold had got a lot worse. Captain Caveman and I walked to the nearest shoping centre for breakfast and he had coffee and a cheese and ham toastie. He bought me a croissant and an earl grey tea but I could hardly taste it and kept coughing a lot. I was running out of underwear so we went to Rico where I bought 2 pairs of sensible knickers for 200,000VND (£6.38) and Captain Caveman thought it was a bit of an unnecessary expense. I rarely spend any money on clothes and when I do it’s always for practical reasons, but these were essential. I’d had my eye on one of the cute dresses they had for 400,000VND (£12.31) to take on our trip to Thailand but I was too sick and the budget didn’t include clothes to make me look pretty. On the way back to Aisha hotel we called a the shop for more essentials, here’s what we got and the prices in Dong;

Winmart Supermarket
1.5l water 10,600
Revive isotonic drink 11,800
Lays crisps 12,100
Japanese Crisps 19,000
Fridge cost 500
Total spent 54,000VND (£1.69)

Once back, I decided I needed to get back in bed and Captain Caveman was going to meet a friend for lunch, without me, but bring me something back to eat. As it was weigh day, and the 5th Fat Club in Dalyan that I’d been away for, I did my measurements. We had no scales but I’d put 1cm on my bust and waist, my hips had remained the same – maybe I didn’t need clothes in a smaller size if I was going to fill my baggy clothes again!
When Captain Caveman returned from a nice lunch at a yoga retreat with Cuc, he had brought me back a beautifully presented takeaway box. He told me they were fresh veggie spring rolls with a pesto dip. I bit in to one and it was super slimy and I had to spit it out. Unfortunately, he had brought me avocado rolls with some guacamole dip and had forgotten I hate avocado. Instead I ate crisps but I was still hungry.
That evening we were meeting our friend and Vietnamese teacher, Lien, for dinner but she had to rearrange plans and we met at Oriberry cafe. They do food but there was nothing I liked on the menu so I had a herbal tea and a slice of banana bread which Captain Caveman had half of and it was more like cake. It was only a brief meet up with Lien but it was good to see her, she looked really well. Captain Caveman decided we were going to go to an old favourite, Dalcheeni Indian restaurant, for dinner but Lien didn’t want to join us. I was a snotty mess and took ages to decide what to order. My eyes were streaming so I could hardly see the menu. I wasn’t having a good day where food was concerned as the samosas and my chicken tikka were too spicy so I ate the rice, naan bread and some of Captain Caveman’s chicken starter. Luckily Captain Caveman was able to eat what I had ordered without any complaints.
We walked back to the hotel, via the same shop where we bought the following;

Winmart Supermarket
1.5l water 10,600
Tissues 30,500
Total spent 41,100VND (£1.29)

Strangely, there was no extra cost for drinks from the fridge this time. Back at the hotel, I took some medication and went to sleep, hoping to feel better in the morning.

Dong Hoi to Hanoi – 9th April

Captain Caveman and I were tucking in to Bo Ne at Mr Bull’s in Dong Hoi before 8am on Tuesday 9th April. Our flight from Dong Hoi to Hanoi was at 10.50am, meaning we would arrive in to the capital city just before midday. I was a bit cranky in Dong Hoi airport, as I had ordered what I thought was an oolong tea but it turned out to be a bottled sweet tea with tons of sugar. Captain Caveman often goes in to complete shutdown in an airport and doesn’t respond to being spoken to, he is so used to travelling alone that he spends the entire time on his phone and I find it rude. The flight was as expected and we arrived on time with plans to get the number 86 bus to Xuan Dieu to meet an old friend. Captain Caveman had arranged to meet Leonard, who used to live in Phong Nha, at a nice little Italian restaurant of Leonard’s choosing. We were meant to be meeting at Giovanni’s between 12.30 and 1pm but, unfortunately, there was a bit of a delay with our bus. There were quite a few pushy men at the bus station, asking where we were going and probably trying to get us to take an illegal taxi. Captain Caveman was having none of it and we both kept our wits about us as we saw what looked like a bit of scamming. We got on the bus and paid the 90,000VND (£2.84) for the pair of us to go to Xuan Dieu. We sat a while and then we were asked to get on another bus, which was further delayed and meant that Leonard was waiting a long time for us. We didn’t get going until 12.46pm and it meant we had about 15 minutes before the Giovanni’s kitchen closed at 2pm, once we arrived. We said hello to Leonard who was looking very well and was dining on a pesto pasta dish which Captain Caveman also ordered and I went for the tomato version. It was very tasty but I had started to feel a bit under the weather and had a bit of a cough. I put it down to the pollution as we walked Leonard back to his nearby apartment and said our goodbyes.

We walked, with our bags, to the Aisha Hotel where we were staying for 3 nights. It was very nice and it had a super comfy bed and no windows – ideal for getting to sleep in at last! There was no rest to be had though as we needed to get ready for the evening’s entertainment and, quite frankly, Captain Caveman had excelled himself with what he had up his sleeve!

Captain Caveman and I had been invited by his friends, Martin and Martina, to an evening event at the Czech Embassy in Hanoi. We arrived to a champagne reception and I was glad I had worn one of my new dresses, a black floor length number. There was a fundraiser for Blue Dragon where the founder, Do Duy Vi, was there to receive donations from an auction. The designer Mimi Lan Nguyen put on a fashion show which incorporated Vietnamese silk with Czech linen to raise money for the charity. Hynek Kmoníček, the Czech ambassador, was there to introduce it all and was quite an amusing speaker. Vi and Mimi were great and their stories were particularly moving, especially Vi who had grown up in poverty himself. There were stalls dotted around the outside of the building, my favourite being the Belgian chocolate one. We got to taste amazing chocolates by chocolatier Peter Rudolf Braun and it was so good.
After the show there was a chance to mingle with the likes of the Finnish ambassador and his wife, both wearing big shiny rings. A buffet of fancy canapes was put on and I had 3 with a glass of red wine. Captain Caveman managed to snaffle down a considerable amount more than me but was still up for food and drink elsewhere later. I’d really enjoyed my evening of Vietnamese and Czech culture a lot more than I thought I would – definitely another first for me.

We left Martin and Martina to ‘finish their duties’ as they work at the embassy and we headed over to 7 Bridges where we arranged to meet back up with them. Here I drank cider as I was still trying to stay off the beer while Captain Caveman tried a couple of different IPAs. We also had some food, I had quesadillas and Captain Caveman had sausage. When Martin and Martina rejoined us we each had a slice of pizza too. It had been a great night, something a little different. Around 11pm we paid half each of our 1,580,000VND (£49.38) bill which consisted of 6 beers, 1 cider, 1 soft drink, 1 quesadilla, 1 sausage, and 4 slices of pizza. I was definitely glad of my bed that night and had a bit of a sore throat as I went to sleep.

Phong Nha to Dong Hoi – 8th April

On Monday 8th April at 7am the humidity was over 80% and my weather app said it would rain. Captain Caveman was convinced it wouldn’t and that it would be fine until we left for Dong Hoi at 4.15pm. At 8am Captain Caveman went to the Glass House and Oxalis to do work related stuff on his day off.
At 10.30am I met Hoan and Chung at Phong Nha Vegan where I ordered the Vegan Pho for breakfast. What I didn’t realise is that I’d been invited to the communal lunch at 11am so I, obviously, didn’t join in on the food. I met the staff and established their ages so that I knew whether to call them em or chi. Yen, Thuong, Nhung, Ha, Thuong Hai and Phuong all introduced themselves. I didn’t meet Hanh, as she starts later in the day but I already knew her.

My next stop off was to The Villa’s to meet Captain Caveman, as we had 3 hours until our pick up car and Captain Caveman was peckish. He had lunch there and some drinks and, here’s what we had and the prices in Vietnamese Dong.

The Villa’s
2 cups of Jasmine tea 60,000
2 Huda beers 70,000
1 cheese & onion toastie 95,000
Total spent 225,000VND (£7.10)

Just as we were getting ready to leave to get back to Oxalis for the pick up car, it started to rain. I was wearing a low cut top so I got quite wet with no time to dry off as the driver was already early and waiting. I was cold in the car with the AC on and had to close the flaps for the 50 minute journey to the Minh Quang hotel in Dong Hoi. We got checked in to a nice room and were meant to be meeting Dung (aka Seven) and his family at Tree Hugger for dinner but he cancelled. I was looking forward to Tree Hugger so Captain Caveman and I went by ourselves. Unfortunately, Captain Caveman tried to order 2 meals which were both unavailable and he had to settle for fried spring rolls. I ordered the beef and vegetable stir fry with brown rice and we both had a white russian and then walked back to the hotel.
Here’s the prices at Tree Hugger, they do a great White Russian;

Tree Hugger
1 Fried spring rolls 50,000
1 beef and veg rice plate 65,000
2 White Russian cocktails 120,000
Total paid 235,000VND (£7.42)

I had another live session booked in, about running my own business, so Captain Caveman went to meet Stu at the Korean BBQ place. My stomach wasn’t good so it was an early night as we were off to the airport in the morning.

Phong Nha – 7th April

On Sunday 7th April I had been asked by Chung if I would like to meet with her and Hoan, the owner of Phong Nha Vegan, at 8am. There was a new coffee shop opening in Phong Nha and they wanted to go there. I left Captain Caveman in bed with instructions to try to get the room cleaned and see if we could stay one more night.
Hi Coffee looked very nice and they had a cute little dog. I had a herbal tea and, when my friends arrived, they also had tea or juice, not coffee. Today was the opening day so we were there early and it wasn’t too busy yet.
My next stop off was at Tree House for a smoothie bowl breakfast on my way to meet Veronika. I cycled in the warm sun to meet her at Lotus Cafe & Restaurant for our lunch. I ordered the chicken Luk Lak with steamed rice instead of chips and Veronika had the pork ribs with pickled mustard greens. Both dishes were delicious and the waitress gave us a free juice, I also completely forgot to take photos of our food. My meal was 90,000VND (£2.84) which was a good price for the portion size. After, I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, in the sun, to see Captain Caveman.
Meanwhile, back in Turkey, the new rules about staying in a house where the owner wasn’t present were causing issues. It also meant I would no longer be able to pet sit for friends who were going on holiday in July, August or September, which was a bit of a problem for me, as we had tenants in Captain Caveman’s apartment until the end of September. It also meant I couldn’t stay at my parents’ place without them both being present unless I was able to prove I was related to them. Unfortunately, I still have an unrelated surname which would mean getting my birth certificate and marriage certificate, and I didn’t have them in Vietnam or Turkey. I’d not yet got the money together for my return flight either and needed to work out where I could stay until October, if I wasn’t allowed to pet sit in Turkey – another thing on the To Do list!
That evening, Captain Caveman and I cycled to Xin Chao for dinner where I had a really tasty chicken and vegetable fried rice and Captain Caveman ordered the meatball sandwich. We called in to The Villa’s for a cheeky nightcap on the way home. Tomorrow we were off to Dong Hoi in the afternoon so we both packed our bags ready for our next little adventure.

Phong Nha – 6th April

Even with Captain Caveman away, I was still awake by 7.30am on Saturday 6th April. I did some writing for my blog and generally lolled about until I realised I needed some breakfast. I wasn’t sure if Sunshine Homestay included breakfast but there was rarely anyone about. We’d been there 4 nights already and there was no sign of any cleaning of our room. I used Google translate to ask but I wasn’t sure if they understood. Bluey and I cycled in to town, as far as Tree House where I had a fruit salad with yoghurt and chopped nuts/seeds for breakfast. I also took my own Yorkshire tea bags and asked for some milk. When I paid the bill they only charged me for the fruit which was good of them as 80,000VND (£2.53) was fairly pricey for a breakfast in Vietnam.
Captain Caveman was due out this afternoon but would be going to his Gala dinner at Chay Lap tonight, Tatas was due back at 5.30pm. I kept myself free to meet either or both of them when they were available. For lunch I went to meet Chung at Phong Nha Vegan, but she was helping the staff in the kitchen. I tried the Vegan Banh Xeo, which is a rice flour pancake with tofu, mushroom and bean sprouts in, served with herbs and salad in rice paper rolls with a fake fish sauce dip. It was delicious and extremely filling. Just as I’d finished eating, Veronika messaged to ask if I fancied lunch with her at The Villa’s. Instead, she ate there and then came to meet me at the Vegan where she had a mango and coconut smoothie. I had a very refreshing iced kumquat tea as, despite the weather forecast of clouds and rain, it was quite hot and very humid.

I got back to Sunshine Homestay thinking I’d maybe have a little nannan nap but Captain Caveman was going to be back at the Glass House by 3pm. We were invited to Son’s house for a porter party at 3.30pm. I’m not usually keen on going to them as it’s lots of food which I can’t eat and warm beer with huge chunks of ice in – not my thing! Captain Caveman convinced me that it would be only for a couple of hours and he would bring a bottle of red wine for me, so I agreed. Captain Caveman and I were the first people there and we watched Son’s wife catering for the impromptu porter party with gusto. By 4.20pm I was a couple of glasses of wine in and was enjoying the BBQ pork and rice while Captain Caveman chugged beer with the boys and ate anything with chillies in. At the party there were Son, Lam, Gang, Hung, Cu Ba, a couple of other guys who’s names I didn’t catch and Bom later joined but only drank soft drinks. I was quite taken aback when Son passed round some Ferrero Rocher chocolates and I introduced them all to the making of a ring using the wrapper. As there’s not much English spoken, Gang was my translator and, after a pretend marriage ceremony, Captain Caveman got picked up for Chay Lap. Tatas said she was going to be late because she needed to do her exercises and tidy her room which was lucky, as Son and the remaining porters needed me to stay at their party. Everyone wanted a ring, except for Lam who was a firm no because he was already married and he did not want another wife – he was quite firm on this and I wasn’t sure if he was aware it was all make believe. Much hilarity and drunkenness followed until I finished my litre bottle of red and had to leave to meet Tatas.

Drunkenness at the Porter Party

Ferrero Rocher Rings

At The Villa’s Tatas had a margarita cocktail and a caesar salad while I had more red wine and a spaghetti bolognese. Captain Caveman joined us after his gala dinner, along with 3 Germans from Tatas’ last tour. More drinks were had with them, Captain Caveman ordered a pizza and our new friends insisted on paying for some of our drinks. We paid 344,000VND (£10.85) for our 2 meals and my glass of red wine which was a good deal. At 10pm, the Germans and Tatas were off to find a karaoke while a rather drunk Captain Caveman and I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, where they still hadn’t cleaned the room or given us more than one towel! We only had one more night there so we’d survive. As I got in to bed I realised I’d missed a video call with my parents but hoped I’d catch up with them tomorrow.

Phong Nha – 5th April

I went to Oxalis early on Friday 5th April so that I could see Tatas before her 2 day Hang Va trip. She was tired and the bus hadn’t got in until gone midnight. I had a bacon sandwich and some green tea before picking up the laundry and cycling back to Sunshine Homestay.

It was a misty, humid morning but it was about to hot up so I agreed that Khanh Linh could pick me up for lunch. She drove us both to Bamboo cafe where she insisted on us having lime yoghurt drinks. I’d been brought up to never mix citrus and dairy in the belief that they curdle but that was not a rule that Vietnamese people held. It tasted good but I worried it would give me a stomach issue. We also shared fresh pork and prawn spring rolls and a mango salad with prawn crackers. It was all very nice but I had a bad stomach before we could leave the restaurant.

In the evening I took myself off for an early dinner at The Villa’s where I had a white wine and soda, smoked duck salad and a pizza. I was only on 7 syns for this week so it was time to treat myself and I only ate a bit of the pizza and took the rest home. I paid 385,000VND (£12.09) for a starter, main, and a wine and soda.
I did end up eating a bit more of the pizza before bed time though, as the fridge in the room was not on and had mould in it. Tomorrow, Captain Caveman was due out in the afternoon and he would have one day off before we went on another little jolly!

Phong Nha – 4th April

On Thursday 4th April I got an update from Tatas that she would be back in Phong Nha tonight, as there was no bus yesterday from her home town. Unfortunately, she would not be back until about midnight and was working tomorrow. I decided to take myself off to The Villa’s to catch up with some blogging. I had a fruit salad, yoghurt and muesli for breakfast with jasmine tea. I had a bee in my bonnet about the water bottles with filtered water in which sometimes harbour mould on the stoppers so I recommended to the staff that they clean them more. I didn’t drink the water out of the bottle they brought me because of this as my stomach was already delicate. I had pho bo (beef noodle soup) for lunch and then later a carrot, orange and ginger juice. I paid 220,000VND (£6.91) for breakfast, lunch and 4 drinks so that was quite a bargain.

After a rest at Sunshine Homestay, I got an invite to celebrate Chung’s birthday with her at a local Vietnamese restaurant, not far from Magic Fingers massage place. Chung gave me a lift but I had to carry 2 birthday cakes, one in each hand – a first for me on the back of a motorbike.
The party was good with lots of familiar faces as well as some new ones. I didn’t drink any alcohol, mainly because I no longer drink beer and I don’t like the rice wine. A lot of the food wasn’t suitable for me as it had seafood, innards and chillies in but Chung ordered veggie noodles and veggie fried rice for me, which was really nice.

Around 10pm there were swarms of flying ants which were a bit bothersome and I moved away from the table. Huong, from Jungle Boss, offered to give me a lift and I agreed to carry flowers and cake too. We went to karaoke and I even got persuaded to do a Britney Spears song. My battery on my phone died but I think I got in about 1am and Long, the owner of Sunshine Homestay, was surprised at my lateness. Huong gave me a lift as she was only round the corner and I couldn’t wait to get to bed.

Phong Nha – 3rd April

Captain Caveman was off in to Hang Son Doong on the morning of Wednesday 3rd April so he’d gone on ahead to Oxalis via the Glass House. We’d decided that I needed to get my bicycle, Bluey, out of storage so I could use her to cycle in to town. I did my measurements, but without any scales I wasn’t sure how I was doing. I’d put 1cm on my waist and hips but stayed the same on my bust. I’d also had 316 syns in the last week with 108 of them being on alcohol so, if I’d been at the Dalyan (Not So) Fat Club weigh in today, I’d have probably put weight on. The weather had certainly got a lot warmer in Phong Nha since I’d returned and walking the 3km in to town wasn’t an option. I arranged to grab the dirty laundry and walk to meet Captain Caveman at Oxalis, where we could have breakfast and I could pick up Bluey. By 8.20am I was tucking in to a bowl of pho bo while admiring the river view. At 10am I was back at Sunshine Homestay, with Bluey, having the remainder of yesterday’s Vegan fresh spring rolls, for a second breakfast. It felt really hot at 38°C and 44% humidity compared to what I’d been used to so I stayed in the room for lunch with the AC on. I ordered the tofu in tomato sauce with steamed rice from Phong Nha Vegan and it was really delicious.
In the late afternoon I managed a video call with Vanessa in Sheffield who was doing well to be recovering quickly from her surgery and hoping to get well enough to be able to drive again soon.
For dinner I met an old friend, My Linh, owner of Green River Cosy Homestay, at Phong Nha Vegan. We both had a soup, shared the mushroom skewers and she had french fries. It was good to see her but she was so busy at her 2 homestays that she barely had time to eat.
That evening I had a bad stomach but I was pleased with myself for having had zero syns on weigh day.

Danang to Phong Nha – 2nd April

Captain Caveman had booked both of us on the SE6 train at 10.22am on Tuesday 2nd April, from Danang to Dong Hoi. The journey takes 6.5 hours but he’d booked the top bunks of a 4 berth coach so we could lay down. The cost was 319,000VND (£10) each so quite a bargain. Captain Caveman ate my leftover pizza for his breakfast. I don’t eat before travelling because I don’t like to have an upset stomach but there were both squat and western style toilets on the train that weren’t too bad to use. Captain Caveman brought us a packet of crisps each for the journey and ate his straight away. The train was on time, we were lucky to have well behaved bottom bunk passengers and all went according to plan. I ate my crisps once I got hungry and even managed a bit of a snooze.

When we arrived at Dong Hoi we were sharing a car with a customer who was going on an Oxalis tour on a different day to Captain Caveman. We dropped him off at Funny Monkeys, Captain Caveman went straight to Oxalis for his briefing and I checked in to Sunshine Homestay, where I would stay for the next 5 nights. I didn’t have a bicycle and Captain Caveman, in his rush to get ready for work, forgot to give me any money so I walked to Oxalis to pick some up. I then continued to walk to Phong Nha Vegan to get some much needed food. I ordered fresh spring rolls, sweet potato fries and mushroom fried rice which was for both lunch and dinner. I had a watermelon juice to drink and really enjoyed my dinner. I walked to The Villa’s next where I had 1 glass of red wine and then had a bad stomach. Our friends Giang and Aaron were back in Phong Nha on a brief visit, with their young son. They came to meet me and Captain Caveman joined after his briefing. He had 4 beers and I couldn’t manage more than the 1 glass of wine so I was a cheap date with 184,000VND (£5.77) for our combined bill.

Meanwhile, the man in charge of the Saigon Children’s Charity had been back at work after the cycling event. For those of you who have already donated, here’s what Damien (Head of the charity) had to say about how he spent his Tuesday back at work, having had Thursday to Monday off, for the ride;

“All, today I am back at work in the Saigon children office and wanted to tell you what your fundraising efforts REALLY mean….

Today I have paid for:

138 ‘regular’ scholarships for disadvantaged children in 3 provinces

21 ‘special’ scholarships for children living in a leper colony in Binh Duong

Completion payment on 2 schools in Hau Giang, and penultimate payment for 1 school in Hau Giang

Playground & classroom furniture for 1 school in Tra Vinh

Training on autism therapy for professionals in Can Tho City

Online safety training for 144 parents across the Mekong Delta

This is a fairly normal day, and it only happens because you support us!

Thank you for helping us raise money to change lives 🙏🏻.”

A slideshow from the Saigon Children’s Charity cyclists

It is a month since Captain Caveman did the ride, but Saigon Children’s Charity is still accepting donations, if you didn’t get chance to donate before but can now:

Either direct to their bank accounts – https://www.saigonchildren.com/engage/bank-details/

Or via the donation page –
https://www.justgiving.com/page/adam-spillane-1706519544673?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Fadam-spillane-1706519544673&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-share

Danang – 1st April

I was hungover on Monday 1st April when Captain Caveman got up early and went down to breakfast without me. After his 3 days of charity cycling, I really didn’t know how he was still able to move. I checked my stats for March on my blog to find that the most popular country was still the UK for my readers, by a lot. Second, as I’d expected, was Turkey but the Netherlands were now a surprising third. Readers from Vietnam were still less than half as many from the Netherlands but I hoped the Vietnamese numbers would increase in April. Today marked the first day of a long term tenancy agreement at Fire Opal in Dalyan and work had started to replace the pergola that had fallen down a few years ago. I paid Aslı, in our apartment complex in Dalyan, 2,350 lira (£58.75) for the new pergola – this was a tenth of the total cost. Our wooden balconies were also getting repaired and replaced so the place was going to look good in a couple of weeks time.
I wasn’t feeling too good and had a dodgy stomach, Captain Caveman brought me back a small croissant and I forced it down with a tea I made in the room. We packed all our stuff and got ready to check out as we were off to stay at Aha Thang Bom apartment in another area of Danang for 1 night. On the way, we popped in to Quang Optic opticians for them to double check my glasses and prescription. I’d found I struggled with distance in buildings such as airports. All was fine but it was to do with the transitional lenses.

By this time it was lunch time and Captain Caveman fancied calling in to one of our favourite places, Olivia’s. My stomach was still dodgy but I was hungry so I took medication and ordered the same as Captain Caveman, a cheese and bacon burger. We had a side salad and chips too so the diet was going very well! The food was amazing and we also got complimentary shots of chocolate vodka before we left. Our lunch bill came to 724,500VND (£22.89) which included the tip.

In the evening Captain Caveman and I met up with Caroline, Vee, Julie and Gareth at Roof Top Bar. My stomach was still bad so I just had water but the others had a few beers. The bill for 13 alcoholic drinks, 1 soft drink and a water was 1,107,450VND (£34.74) which included a tip. Our restaurant of choice for dinner was Pizza 4Ps where we sat outside and ordered pizzas. I just had half of a margarita with burrata and took the rest as a takeaway. Unfortunately, it was our last night together as tomorrow, Captain Caveman and I were off back to Phong Nha as Captain Caveman had to be back at work for his 6pm briefing. I’m not sure of the prices as Caroline paid the bill before we could notice.
Caroline was the first to leave with Vee on a Grab bike, then next were us as I still wasn’t feeling well. Julie and Gareth had another couple of days in Danang before going to Hoi An. It was sad to say goodbye to everyone but we would definitely see each other again in the not too distant future. Back at our accommodation, Captain Caveman was fast asleep by the time I had come out of the bathroom. I had a bit more pizza and then went to bed too.

Saigon Children’s Charity is still accepting donations:

Either direct to their bank accounts – https://www.saigonchildren.com/engage/bank-details/

Or via the donation page –
https://www.justgiving.com/page/adam-spillane-1706519544673?utm_medium=fundraising&utm_content=page%2Fadam-spillane-1706519544673&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=pfp-share

Thank you very much; if you have already donated.
If you haven’t donated yet please do, if you can – no amount is too small.
In my opinion 308km of hard hot riding over 3 days is surely worth the cost of a pint!?

Hoi An to Danang – 31st March

Sunday 31st March was a busy and full on day to end the month with. It was also my Dad’s birthday and I hoped I would be able to speak to him later on. Caroline went to 9 Grains Bakery while I packed and tried to finish my Canva course as today was the last day. I didn’t get too far on practising anything as Caroline returned with a little friend; Le’s little boy. She also brought me a tea and a croissant for my breakfast which was good of her.
Captain Caveman was cycling from Hue to Danang today for his last day of the Saigon Children’s Charity Cycling Adventure. We were leaving by car for Danang at 1pm so it was only right that Caroline thought it a good idea to put her bikini on and jump in the shower with Vee, the dog, to give her a good wash. Vee needed to be clean before her girl’s night away at The Sheraton. She was also trying to teach Le’s son how to shower a dog, neither the kid nor the dog seemed keen. Le’s wife arrived to pick up the child but there was almost an incident when the small child decided to scale the balcony side to see the small dog downstairs better. He almost fell over the side, a massive drop, so the mother decided it was time to go.
Caroline and I had a couple of things left on the to do list that we hadn’t got round to doing yet. They were; buying some leather flipflops and trinkets to take to Phong Nha, eating the traditional Hoi An noodle dish of Cao Lau and Caroline wanted me to get my hair chemically straightened at her hairdresser’s. I decided the only one on that list which was feasible was to eat the Cao Lau, so Caroline ordered it to be delivered. It was so tasty and Vee loved us sharing a bit with her, but only the meat. Caroline also decided she needed to give me some unwanted clothes, which I was surprised to find did fit me. But they wouldn’t fit in my rucksack and I had to use a Vietnamese laundry bag.
At 1pm the car was here but, of course, we weren’t quite ready. Jake was staying in the apartment while we were gone and there was still the issue of whether the thumb print door knob would work. By 1.20pm, we were on our way to Danang, to a yet to be confirmed location and finish line for the Saigon Children’s Charity cycle adventure.

Captain Caveman had sent me the map coordinates of where we needed to be for the finish line. This is where Caroline got the car to stop, after we had dropped our bags off at our respective hotels. It was literally in the middle of nowhere on a busy main road. Caroline kept the driver on stand by which was definitely a good thing. I messaged Julie and Gareth so that they could join us and we all waited at a little stall for word from Captain Caveman. After 30 minutes of being sat about, Captain Caveman sent a photo of himself at the top of the Hai Van Pass – he’d made it up the hill! They were waiting for the rest of the cyclists to all get to the top and then they would do the last section, downhill, together. He video called and he looked hot and sweaty but happy he was almost finished. We were told to look out for a bus or wagon which would come to mark the finish line. When we saw the guy on a motorbike with a finishing flag, it was almost too late. Captain Caveman and whoever was in the front were only a minute behind this man and we only just captured the video of them arriving.
It was so hot and all the cyclists made it to the side of the road where Heart of Darkness had provided some beers. I was thirsty and eager to have a drink but I made sure I waited until all the cyclists had one. It was great to see them all so humble but quietly proud they had done it.

Video of Captain Caveman finishing the cycling event

Video of more cyclists finishing

Captain Caveman joined the rest of the group to go to the Nalod hotel to shower and change. Caroline, Vee, Julie, Gareth and I got in the car and went to Maia Beach Bar for drinks. It was a lovely place but, as is the case with a lot of the beach bars in Danang, service wasn’t the best and there was no soap in the toilets. Captain Caveman joined us briefly before he headed off to the end of the event dinner at My Casa. Our next stop for the 4 of us was to Esco Beach bar where we ordered food, and more drinks. Caroline ordered Vee a steak and she was a bit fussy over how it was cooked but ate it. I had a really nice sweet and sour chicken with rice. Caroline ordered seafood, while Julie and Gareth were keen to try some Vietnamese food.
When Captain Caveman rejoined us, he was proudly wearing his medal from the Saigon Children’s Charity Cycling adventure. He was quite merry but pretty tired and we went back to the hotel when the bar closed.
Vee got the best service at the Sheraton hotel, where they really cater well for dogs, so Caroline was really happy. At 12.50 am, it was 6.50pm in the UK so we were able to call my Dad and say ‘Happy Birthday’. I still hadn’t told my parents the news about Captain Caveman’s job at Oxalis finishing this year and it wasn’t the right time to discuss now and spoil Dad’s birthday or a great weekend for Captain Caveman. Hopefully, I would get to speak to them properly once we were back in Phong Nha in a couple of days.

Hoi An – 30th March

On Saturday 30th March Caroline had a treat booked in for us, while poor Captain Caveman was cycling in high heat and humidity from Dong Ha to Hue! Caroline and I had a short trip to Weaver’s Cafe in An Bang with Hawk and Hong for brunch. It’s a cute little cafe run by a Vietnamese woman and her English husband and they do a greasy spoon style English breakfast. Hawk and Hong were already there and he had a pot of Yorkshire tea on the go. Caroline and I ordered a soda water and a pot of Yorkshire tea to share. I obviously ordered the Full English breakfast but without eggs or tomatoes, Hawk and Hong had a chicken salad with poached eggs on top, Caroline had lasagne and chips. Caroline had already paid the bill when I tried to get mine and I don’t remember the prices but it seemed reasonable for western food. The breakfast was good but I knew my body wouldn’t think so and I had a bad stomach before I even left Weaver’s. This didn’t bode well for our next adventure as we were off back to Golden Girls Spa for a 4 hands massage each and I’d booked in for a snatch wax (aka Brazilian).

The massage was amazing and I almost fell asleep, I was also pleased to be able to fit in to the little outfits they gave us, which are normally far too tight for me.
After the massage, Caroline went home to walk and feed Vee, the dog, while I got a very thorough waxing from Caroline’s friend. It was very good but it was a little disconcerting when she complimented my lady garden! She had used the wax that peels off rather than the papers so I was pleased but she didn’t have anything to get the residue off with. There was no time to worry about that as I had to get dressed, pay the 750,000VND (£23.61) for the hour massage and the waxing and meet Caroline at the 3 Dragon’s pub. We had arranged to meet Hawk and Jake there but I was first, closely followed by Caroline. I stuck to water while Caroline drank beers and we had some chicken strips to share. The 3 Dragon’s menu is good but not very Slimming World friendly so I decided having smaller portions was a good idea. Hawk arrived and had a chicken dish and Jake didn’t eat. Another guy, Jack, joined us and we all talked for a while. I could see Caroline was looking a bit tired so I suggested we leave and we said our goodbyes. I paid for our food and drinks which came to about 400,000VND (£12.57) as it was definitely my turn. Back at Caroline’s, we were met with a bit of an issue; her newly fitted thumbprint door access wouldn’t work and we couldn’t get in to her apartment. Jake had been in previously and had also left Vee out on the balcony so she was distressed when Caroline asked the landlord to climb up to get in. He couldn’t get in as Jake had locked that door so he had to climb back down and try the door knob again, and again! When we finally got in, busting for a wee, we stayed up talking and Caroline booked her hotel for tomorrow night – her and Vee were going to stay at The Sheraton hotel, near to Captain Caveman and I, in Danang.

Hoi An – 29th March

While Captain Caveman started his cycle ride from Phong Nha Farmstay on Friday 29th March, I was already begging for mercy a little bit. We’d woken up without any drinking water in the house so Caroline had ordered some to be delivered and gone to 9 Grains Bakery. She wanted me to join her but I needed to shower and I wasn’t ready. Off she went while I revisited Day 2 of the 3 Day Canva course I had started. I was quite happily getting in to it when Caroline returned and started taking her door knob and lock off. She had bought a door knob which only opens with your thumb print and she was looking at how to fix it on. I remember thinking it would be a nightmare for me, my fingers often can’t turn on, off, up or down a ring on the electric hob in Turkey, never mind let me in to my own home when I’ve had a few drinks and am desperate for a wee.
Caroline gave up faffing after a bit and insisted we go back to 9 Grains for lunch. I was hungry as it was almost 2pm so off we went. Jake, a friend, had returned from Cambodia and she’d offered him the use of her motorbike. He’d left his bicycle at 9 Grains and it needed riding back to Caroline’s place. After a chicken, cheese, lettuce and onion sandwich on sourdough, some fruit and a berry juice I tackled the ride back on the busy road. I’m not very confident around traffic and we had a lorry in the way which meant a diversion through the fields, but I made it.
By 4.30pm I was back at the Chiropractor for another session with Dr An and is team. This time they used a giant vibrator on my back, which was pretty nice and I was stretched on the decompression machine, yet again. I was now 2cm taller than I was when I got to Hoi An. Maybe this was a good plan; to report to Fat Club that I’d grown instead of becoming any lighter!

I got changed in to a frock in the toilet after my final chiropractor session. The chiropractor had cost just 250,000VND (£7.90) per session but I’d paid only £15 for about 5 hours’ worth. The crux of my issue was that my thighs and hip muscles were too tight! There wasn’t much time before our next bit of excitement as Caroline picked me up in a golf buggy to drive us to Apggujung Korean BBQ restaurant. Joining us were Dr An, the chiropractor, a customer of his, Hawk and his wife, Hong. Caroline and I were the first there as it started to rain heavily just as we got there and the others were delayed. By the time the 6 of us were seated I’d come to the conclusion that I disliked grape soju, a Korean rice wine. I was also feeling a bit out of sorts after the therapy and was extremely tired. While I was feeling jaded from laying down or resting for most of the day, Captain Caveman had made the 135km from Phong Nha to Dong Ha and was having a beer and some food. Our Korean BBQ was fantastic and definitely one of my favourite meals. I’d paid 850,000VND (£26.87) which included Caroline and I paying for the chiro and his friend’s rice wine. Hawk and Hong, who don’t drink, sensibly left after the meal but the remaining 4 of us went in to town for a bit of a knees up.

I was conscious of money so was going to take it easy. We went to a trendy little cocktail bar next to a temple, where Caroline and the 2 fellas had a few mango daiquiris and I nursed a glass of white wine. They decided to try a new cocktail which Nick (not his real name) and his bar man performed for the customers. It was a red concoction, where fire and gold leaf were involved. My stomach can’t handle normal food so I wasn’t up for swallowing precious metals. We all had a laugh that they were covered in glitter and would be having sparkling shits tomorrow. Dr An picked up the tab for the drinks so I needn’t have restricted myself to 2 drinks, but I didn’t want to be cheeky.
When we tried to get a Grab home, Caroline was a bit tiddly and got a bit annoyed with the Grab motorbike driver who wanted to charge us an expensive 100,000VND (£3.16) and get both of us on the bike at once. Dr An and his friend had a car and tried to offer us a lift which Caroline, for some unknown reason, had declined.
In the end, we couldn’t get another Grab so we both got on the motorbike with (surprisingly) enough room. When we got to her’s she gave him 300,000VND (£9.48), well over the odds, and some words on not ripping foreigners off.
The night didn’t end there, Caroline and I stayed awake, talking, until 4am! We’d had an amazing day and night but tomorrow was my last full day in Hoi An.