Phong Nha – 22nd April

Monday 22nd April was Amanda and Greg’s last full day in Phong Nha and Captain Caveman had a day off so I’d suggested we have a little outing. Our first job was to check out of the Phong Nha Homestay, which had been amazing and it was going to be hard to find somewhere as good for the price. We were moving to a more rustic homestay further out of town and had told Vinh, the owner, that we would be checking in after 4pm. Captain Caveman and I packed our bags and left them in reception, letting them know we would pick them up later. The car picked up the Aussies, then drove down to collect us and was costing just 400,000VND (£12.33) to have the car take 4 of us to the Pub with Cold Beer and then wait for us and bring us back again later. That was an absolute bargain however, it turned out the road was being repaired so the driver could only take us as far as the suspension bridge. We had to walk over it but both Amanda and I were scared of walking on the metal mesh surface which you can see the river below on. It was very hot but we were glad to get to the Pub with Cold Beer where we were welcomed by Nhat. We ordered the famous BBQ chicken, which is charged at 250,000VND (£7.71) per 1kg of the alive bird. There is an option for you to pick, catch and kill your own but we did the more practical option of having the owners do that part. We chose rice, morning glory and plenty of peanut sauce to go with our meal and then waited about an hour or so for it to cook. We were in no hurry as there are hammocks aplenty for lolling about in and a lovely pool for a refreshing swim. I noticed that they now offer to accommodate people who want to swim but not eat or drink for a fee of 50,000VND (£1.54). It’s still one of our all time favourites and we always love to see Nhat and her family as they are so lovely.
Instead of a cold beer, which I would normally have several of, I had a fresh coconut at 40,000VND (£1.23) and a litre of water at 25,000VND (77p). Multi came to join us but didn’t eat or drink any alcohol, he just had water and plenty of fags! By 12.45pm we were tucking in to a very tasty feast in a delightful place. Captain Caveman had several beers which are also 25,000VND (77p) each and are always very cold!

We left around 3pm and had to walk back over the scary bridge, where I proceeded to get my frock caught on the barrier rails and my hat nearly blew off. Greg had to unhook me and hold my dress from blowing on to the metal again. We dropped Captain Caveman off at Phong Nha Homestay on the way back to pick up bags and pay the bill. It was just 980,000VND (£30) for our 5 night stay, which was an absolute steal and I definitely wanted to stay there again.
I got dropped off at The Villas, where I had left Bluey, and I cycled on to Highway 20 Homestay. Captain Caveman drove his motorbike up and we were given the end triple room in the traditional wooden house. It was really lovely and had a bathroom lay out which meant the toilet didn’t get soaking wet when taking a shower (always a bonus).

That evening we had been invited to Mountain House for Amanda and Greg’s farewell dinner with the owners, Ai and Hoai. Tatas and a customer from Captain Caveman’s Son Doong trip were also invited. Ai had prepared a massive feast and An, her brother, was giving out the beers. He was shocked that I didn’t want a beer but Captain Caveman had brought some Jameson’s whisky and I brought my boozy fruitcake. The meal was good and the Aussies were sad to be leaving, especially as they didn’t want to go back to their stressful life back in Australia.
Unfortunately, I had a bad stomach around 10.30pm and had to leave all of a sudden. Knowing that I wouldn’t shit myself on a bicycle I sped off back to the homestay but as I got within a few metres, 5 dogs came running out at me. A local man on a motorbike saw me and parked to help me get to the gate, which was closed. When I got in to Highway 20, their own dog (which I didn’t know they had) came running out at me and was going mental. Vinh came out and told me if I say her name she would be friendly but I wasn’t convinced but she calmed down a bit to let me pass. I made it to the bathroom in time, only to be sat on the toilet when I noticed I had company!
A massive huntsman spider was within touching distance and I don’t like spiders at the best of times. I had the quickest visit I could in a spider occupied khazi and then had a lay down in the AC until Captain Caveman returned. It was late when he got back, he’d helped polish off the whiskey and I hoped he’d come to the rescue with the spider situation. That was not to be, as he encouraged the spider over to the shower area and named him Jeff.

Phong Nha – 21st April

On Sunday 21st April Captain Caveman was due out of Son Doong but I’d already arranged to see Amanda and Greg in the afternoon. For a late breakfast I had another fruit salad with yoghurt and granola from Tree House and 2 litres of water to set me up for the heat.
I’d been in touch with Bich to check it would be ok for the 3 of us to go to The Villas for lunch and then use the pool. I’d already mentioned this to Amanda and Greg, saying that if we were eating and drinking plenty they wouldn’t mind. When I arrived they were sat outside looking like 2 kids ready for a trip to the swimming baths. I laughed and then said we could go inside to eat. I asked how Amanda was after eating pork which she’s allergic to and she wasn’t too bad, considering. I ordered a mango lassi and a pho ga, while the Aussies decided to have fried spring rolls for Greg and fresh veggie ones for Amanda.
The rest of the afternoon was spent in the pool, talking to Multi and his kids who were also there to drink and use the pool. I had a soda water with ice and lemon then Captain Caveman arrived back from the cave and in desperate need of a beer and pizza. This year the boss had banned all alcohol on tours so Captain Caveman is often a smidge thirsty when he gets out after 4 days underground. I had a couple of white wines which are 90,000VND (£2.76) each. I’d only been in the pool once and Captain Caveman didn’t have his swimmers or time for a dip as he got picked up at 5.30pm to go to Chay Lap, we said we’d meet him in town later.

As decided yesterday, the Aussies and I went to Lantern restaurant for our dinner. I was happy to give it a try and I decided to see how the veggie Vietnamese pancake was. Amanda decided to order the same and a portion of onion rings. Greg wanted to compare dishes he’d had before so went for fried spring rolls and a pork noodle dish. My food was good but, if I’m honest, I preferred the one from Phong Nha Vegan.
After his gala dinner, Captain Caveman met us at Tree House for drinks where we had the following;
1 water 10,000
1 coke 15,000
1 Huda beer 20,000
1 ginger tea 30,000
1 watermelon juice 35,000
1 Mango Lassi 45,000
1 Strongbow cider 50,000
1 Carrot, Orange & ginger juice 60,000
Total spent 265,000VND (£8.17).
We said our goodnights as Amanda and Greg rode their borrowed bicycles back to Mountain House. Tomorrow was their last full day and night in Phong Nha, so we had plans.

Phong Nha – 19th & 20th April

I had a very busy day on Friday 19th April, it was also the day that our new Turkey tenants were moving in to Captain Caveman’s apartment. Jamie was picking them up from the airport and had agreed to buy them a welcome pack. He got the essentials like milk, bread, wine and beer which came to 700 lira (£17) and I transferred him the money straight away. I picked up the 4.7kg of laundry from Oxalis and paid the 141,000VND (£4.35) for it. I cycled back to The Villas where I had a pho ga (chicken noodle soup) and 2 cups of tea for breakfast, costing 120,000VND (£3.70). I’d posted the blog on my Facebook, where I mentioned about Captain Caveman’s contract with Oxalis coming to an end and it had got a bit lively with messages and comments – some of which I couldn’t answer the questions, as I didn’t know.

I met the Aussies at Phong Nha Vegan after I’d been back to the hotel to drop off the laundry. They were excited to have booked Hai’s Eco Tour for tomorrow and had invited me but I didn’t have the money, or the stamina to walk through the jungle looking for wildlife in this heat. I politely declined and we each ordered some food at Phong Nha Vegan for our lunch; I ordered the mushroom La Lot for the 3 of us to share and some fresh spring rolls, Greg ordered fried spring rolls, braised eggplant and steamed rice, Amanda chose the Banh Xero (Vietnamese pancake). We randomly ended up with a crispy veggie ramen dish which turned out to be one of my new favourites. I drank kumquat tea, my fellow diners had smoothies and I paid 200,000VND (£6.16) for my share of the bill. After our fantastic vegan lunch, the Aussies cycled off to their homestay and I mine but arranged to meet up later for dinner at The Villas.

I was still not tempted to drink alcohol so I just had a pot of tea and a margarita pizza for my dinner. It came to 200,000VND (£6.16) again and it was very good. It wasn’t a late night and I arranged to meet Amanda and Greg after they got back from their adventure tomorrow.

I had quite an easy day on Saturday 20th April, with being too poor and lazy to go on the day trip which the Aussies were on. I caught up on my blog and generally tried to keep out of the heat. I set the hotel room’s AC to 27°C to keep cool and drank lots of water to stay hydrated. For breakfast I had a lovely fruit bowl with yoghurt and granola/nuts from Tree House, then carried on doing some editing in there with a fan on. For lunch I had a soda water and a chicken fried rice which was excellent (I forgot the photo). My total bill came to 180,000VND (£5.55) for breakfast, lunch and a drink.
That afternoon, I got a message from the Aussies to say they were at Bamboo cafe, having just come back from the tour. I went to meet them and I had a fresh coconut. They didn’t have transport so decided to go straight out for food, rather than go back to shower, and they wanted my recommendations. The requirements were quite straight forward; Amanda can not eat fish or pork as it makes her ill and she wanted to eat street food, Greg said he’d try anything but both agreed it had to be Vietnamese. With only a week left here before being back in Sydney there was no point eating western food. I have never had street food in Phong Nha so I suggested a few places including the banh xeo, snails, baby birds and small restaurants around the market. I wasn’t certain if they would use pork products in their food but if Amanda stuck to chicken, snails or prawns she should be fine. As we walked past the Winmart and towards the market I mentioned that the pork place is good, but obviously not for Amanda. Greg was keen to try it and Amanda asked me if they did any other dishes, they do a good veggie and tofu soup. So in we went and I ordered the pork, rice, morning glory and omelette plate for 60,000VND (£1.85), Greg chose the pork noodle soup and Amanda’s choice was a bit of a surprise. She loves Banh Mi which is a pork sandwich and she decided to chance it and have the pork filled baguette anyway. When the food came, we all ate every bite and it was so delicious and cheap. Our total bill came to 240,000VND (£7.40) with a soft drink each. We ended up going in to Lantern restaurant for drinks after and the Aussies decided that we would eat at Lantern tomorrow as they had lots of Vietnamese dishes on the menu that they fancied.

Phong Nha – 18th April

I was feeling partially human on Thursday 18th April and had decided I was never drinking again. Captain Caveman was off in to the big cave so we were up early, having had a good rest at our latest accommodation, Phong Nha Homestay. We had 2 big double beds and a small balcony, overlooking the mountains and some wriggly tin. The bathroom was small but very functional and the place was super clean.

We went to Oxalis for breakfast where I had an orange juice and a bacon sandwich as I was hungry after hardly eating yesterday. I said goodbye to Captain Caveman who would be back out on Sunday afternoon. Almost instantly, I had a bad stomach and had to cycle back to the hotel. Luckily, I’ve found you can’t shit yourself on a bicycle so I was ok while ever I rode Bluey but it was touch and go in the supermarket. I had to leave promptly after buying sugar free milk, 5 Grains savoury biscuits and more tissues (I was still suffering with that cold from Hanoi) at a total cost of 90,000VND (£2.77).
That afternoon, I had a wedding to go to and the heat could not have been much hotter if it tried. I spent a couple of hours resting and blogging before I had to go but I really didn’t relish the temperature and humidity out there. Tatas had also arranged for a car to take the Aussies and her over to Phong Nha Farmstay for a pool afternoon and I had agreed to meet them there for dinner after the wedding.

Chung offered to give me a lift to the wedding at 3.30pm from outside my accommodation and we went with Ca Chua from Lantern restaurant and Moon from Funny Monkeys. On arrival, we met with Pe Map and Giang and we formed a girls only table. Lan looked fantastic and I was surprised that she wasn’t sweating as much as I was! I also didn’t have a nice dress to wear as they were all in the laundry at Oxalis so I wore one that had a nice colour, orange!
I was determined I wouldn’t be eating at the wedding as the outside temperature is certainly not conducive to the safe keeping of the food usually offered. However, with me being the only white Western woman on a table of friendly Vietnamese women, most of them mothers, I was not going to be able to do that! I was given prawns, chicken, beef stew and sticky rice, I voluntarily took a bread roll but managed to avoid any chillies or mystery food. I generously counted it as 10 syns, half expecting it not to stay in that long. There was no beer at our table, only water and Super Horse, until Hoan arrived and did a cheers. Chung took one for the team and I left with Moon, shortly after Giang had left. Vietnamese weddings are exciting for the first few times of going but I was really struggling to cope with an outdoor wedding in a mild heat wave.

Moon very kindly dropped me off at Phong Nha Farmstay and I headed over to the pool, where Tatas and the Aussies were having a dip. We all chatted and caught up with all the goings on, before ordering some dinner. Greg had got so drunk on Raki in Istanbul with our friend, Murat, that he was also never drinking again, Amanda didn’t drink but Tatas had a G & T for happy hour and a beer with dinner. I stuck to soda water with my beef in bamboo, Greg ordered the Nem Lui, Amanda thé Tofu curry and I think Tatas had a salad. The food was great and we had a good night, getting the taxi back around 10pm. My meal and drink came to 235,000VND (£7.24) but at the Farmstay they add service and tax on to the total bill. I spent 400,000VND (£12.33), which I gave to Tatas for my share of the bill and my taxi ride back with them. It had been an expensive but fun day and Tatas was off in to a cave tomorrow for 4 days, leaving me and the Aussies to have some fun until they left on Tuesday.

Hanoi to Phong Nha – 17th April

I think it’s fair to say that Wednesday 17th April could definitely have gone better! I was in a real tangle and could not function when Captain Caveman’s alarm went off at 6am. Our flight from Noi Ba airport in Hanoi left at 8.55am and Captain Caveman had to take one for the team and get me to the airport in my completely incapable state! He had left Lizzy’s key card at our reception when she had gone home without it and this caused some confusion with the receptionist. Captain Caveman had completely done the right thing getting to the airport earlier and by 7.30am I was checked in and lolling on a seat trying not to be sick or collapse. I don’t even remember leaving the hotel, the taxi ride to the airport or going through security. How Captain Caveman was functioning I do not know and, if it wasn’t for him, I would not have made it to the flight. Looking back I was still drunk as I’d had less than 4 hours of sleep and the most alcohol I’d drank since I missed my flight in Rhodes. I slept through the flight and was glad to get in to the Oxalis car at Dong Hoi airport. I was not so thrilled to be in the back of the pick up service for a customer who was quite sociable. Luckily, Captain Caveman was dealing with all the questions. We got to Phong Nha before midday and dropped me off at Phong Nha Homestay where we were staying for a few nights. I was so happy that the early check in was available and I got straight in to bed, only then realising I was still wearing last night’s clothes.
Captain Caveman had his Oxalis briefing at 6pm and, quite frankly, I was so glad it wasn’t me who had to work tonight – I was broken. I’d eaten nothing all day so I managed a full fat coke and some crisps. It was weigh day, obviously I didn’t get weighed as I’d barely made it through the day before I knew what day it was. I took my measurements to find there was no change to my bust or hips and 1cm off my waist. I counted the syns for last week, including what I’d had last night (using photos) and Captain Caveman’s rather observant memory – it was the most I’d had in months at 323 syns.
I went to sleep not even checking any of my messages or getting in touch with Amanda and Greg who had come to see us in Phong Nha for a week on their way back to Australia.

Photo credit – Captain Caveman

Bangkok to Hanoi – 16th April

While the Aussies (Amanda and Greg) had arrived in Vietnam already, Captain Caveman and I were leaving Bangkok on Tuesday 16th April. It had certainly been a very moist weekend despite our efforts to not participate fully in the water festivals of Songkran, the Thai new year. Our belongings were packed in a plastic bag within our rucksacks and we were getting an early Grab to Suvarnabhumi airport. By 8.15am we were at the airport for a 11.55am flight with a Grab driver who had no change. Captain Caveman had to go in to the airport to faff about changing a note while I waited outside. There was a 7-Eleven shop in the airport so we got ourselves a couple of ham and cheese toasties and some peanuts, Captain Caveman had a coffee. They weren’t expensive (but I didn’t keep the receipt) and tasted really delicious. We only had hand luggage and were already checked in so we went through to the gate early, even before it opened. Captain Caveman treated himself to a can of Heineken beer for 199 baht (£4.30) – the most expensive beer of the trip.
At the gate we were held up because all non-residents to Vietnam, including me, had to have their visa checked. We boarded the plane just after 11am and Captain Caveman gave me his aisle seat while he took the middle one. We got a tasty meal of chicken noodles on the flight to Hanoi and when we landed we took the 86 bus for a total of 90,000VND (£2.77) for both of us.

From Hanoi airport to the train station the journey was just less than an hour and we were staying at a hotel within walking distance and very close to Puku.
Captain Caveman dropped me off there while he went to the bank/gold shop and I had a passion fruit and mint slushy drink, without sugar, for 85,000VND (£2.62). We love Puku and have been visiting for years, it’s open 24 hours a day, every day, and is in central Hanoi. It’s been ideal for when we have got off the overnight train early in the morning, the menu is vast too so there is always something suitable to eat and drink.
Our hotel was a small one above Fika Coffee shop, which we initially walked past. We checked in and dropped our bags off, Captain Caveman went straight back out to say hello to Lizzy, a friend of Josh’s and fellow caver, who was in Hanoi with her brother. I met Captain Caveman back at Puku and then we went over to meet Johan, we had planned for a civilised evening with nice food, as tomorrow we had an early flight.

Felix – Spanish fusion tapas was small and nicely decorated. The menu was pretty exciting and I know a meal with Johan is always going to be excellent as he has great taste in food, he particularly loves meat and cheese. We started with one bottle of Primitivo, an Italian red wine, between the 3 of us. The food was tapas style and Johan made some great recommendations. Here’s what we had with the prices in Vietnamese Dong;
3 crispy duck tacos 255,000
2 tuna carpaccio 315,000
1 smoked salmon 125,000
4.5 beef prata 428,000
1 brie with jam 189,000
1 grilled duck 199,000
1 pork banh mi 275,000
1 unagi with eggplant 125,000
400g suckling pig 415,000
2 bottles Primitivo wine 1,760,000
1 San Pellegrino water 90,000

Our total bill came to a whopping 4,772,544VND (£146.80) which included 8 – 10% Vat and a 5% obligatory service charge.
Johan and Captain Caveman had all the fish/seafood ones and I stuck to more of the meat tapas. Instead of a dessert, because none of us are sweet people, we finished with a tapas each of our favourites; I chose the beef prata which we asked for 3 individual bites rather than the 2 (so a one and a half portion), the boys chose crispy duck and a tuna carpaccio. The food was absolutely amazing and definitely the best food I’ve had in Vietnam so far. Having the second bottle of Primitivo was Johan’s idea, and I wasn’t sure it was a good one. At 8pm, we sensibly got the bill and shared the cost, at £50 a head we had enjoyed a fabulous feast and were very full.

To end the night we decided to join Johan in a cocktail at a bar that he knew, where we were just in time for the 2 for 1 happy hour cocktails. By 8.30pm we were doing cheers; Johan with a whiskey sour and us with a martini. As we had to leave about 6.30am tomorrow for the airport, it was obviously a mistake to have another round. Captain Caveman and I had sensibly chosen the same drink as each other so that we could just have the one, but that left Johan to drink a second whiskey sour alone. It was only 8.55pm and happy hour ended in 5 minutes so we ordered 2 more martinis, but Johan ordered another cocktail which looked like a pornstar martini. We met some fellow drinkers who had just missed the happy hour and we got chatting while finishing our final drink, as I was already feeling a little tiddly. Needless to say the night got quite out of hand as Captain Caveman and I had another 5 martinis! I remember walking Johan to his Grab taxi, as we were on a walking street, but then got temporarily lost on my way back. We met a nurse who was from America but turned out he had lived in Germany but was of Turkish parentage. I got excited thinking I could speak Turkish to him.
After Captain Caveman paid our bill, which I don’t remember the amount, we walked with our new nurse friend to Puku to meet up with Lizzy. I proceeded to order red wine and Lizzy had a bit of a to do with her brother who she had left in their hotel room but had brought the key card with her. We had a great time in a very full Puku where I finally made some Turkish speaking friends. They were cabin crew for Turkish airlines, and I was able to prattle on in their native language to my heart’s content. I ordered another red wine and it was gone 2am when we left Puku. Lizzy left her key card and I left my phone, Captain Caveman had to go back for both and luckily they were still there. As I got in bed fully clothed and absolutely hammered, I don’t remember falling asleep, packing or setting alarm for tomorrow’s morning flight to Dong Hoi.

Hanoi to Ayutthaya – 12th April

I’ve had some unusual Fridays in my life but Friday 12th April certainly fell in to that category. We got up and packed our bags ready for an exciting break to Thailand, I was feeling a bit better but still had a cold and a cough. We walked to Saint Honore bakery to get some breakfast to take to the airport. They were building outside so it wasn’t easy to get in and we ended up just getting a croissant. By 10.30am we had exited Vietnam at Hanoi airport so that I could send a photo of my passport stamp to Lynn Visa. She was going to apply for another visa for me while I was out of the country and, hopefully, send me the new one on Tuesday before our lunchtime flight back. Captain Caveman had organised a weekend in Bangkok for us and we were going to be meeting up with one of his Son Doong customers. Thailand was celebrating Songkran this weekend so there would be lots of water festivals everywhere. Our Vietnam Airlines flight from Hanoi to Bangkok left at 12.45pm and we got seats sat together, me in my preferred aisle seat. We boarded 30 minutes late but still departed on time. On the flight we got a really nice meal which included; a banana, a beef noodle dish and some bread – even the hot tea with milk wasn’t bad. On landing, Captain Caveman had to change $200 at a fairly low rate and got 6,742 Thai baht. Even though money was still a concern to me, Captain Caveman had put money aside for this holiday and said not to worry.
We were not staying in Bangkok for the next 2 nights, Captain Caveman had booked us in to a small hotel in Ayutthaya, the old capital. The journey there was not for the inexperienced traveller as we had to ask a member of staff at Bangkok airport train station how to get there. He told Captain Caveman it was off the edge of the map, but, luckily, he was well versed with the London Underground map and it wasn’t dissimilar. The train was a bit of an eye-opener and we only just made it on to it in time. Somehow we had managed to get from Bangkok airport to Bang Sue Junction, buy a 14 baht (30p) ticket each, for a 90 minute journey and grab a seat. The train was not unlike one I’d been on in India, it was insanely hot and fairly busy and I found it difficult to cope. I moved seats several times to try to get near a fan, while Captain Caveman played Bridge on his phone for the duration of the ride. At 6.23pm I had never been so ready to alight the train, an absolutely dripping mess of sweat. The train station at Ayutthaya was nice and Captain Caveman managed to get a Grab taxi without any issue. When we arrived at Nature Home, our accommodation for the next 2 nights, the owner showed us to our room. He proceeded to educate Captain Caveman on how to work an Air Con remote, how to open and close windows and how it was very hot here for English people. That went down well and I could tell Captain Caveman had stopped listening.
At 6.55pm I unexpectedly received a message from Lynn Visa, who had already got my new Vietnamese visa for me. I checked it, it was correct, and thanked her for such a quick service – well worth the $80 (£64). This meant that I was permitted to stay in Vietnam for another 90 days should I need to.
That evening we needed to get some laundry so we spent our Friday night between Happy Mix Wash & Dry launderette and Earthling Craft Cafe & Bar. An usual day turned strange when I realised that the Earthling Craft Cafe & Bar had spiders, reptiles and sphynx cats. Luckily they also had good ales, a delightful cider and excellent food. Happy Mix was amazing and we managed to do a load of laundry for an acceptable 105 baht (£2.28) and this included tumble drying as well. Captain Caveman and I took it in turns to check on the cycles as it was just across the road and had free WiFi.
Our garlic bread and pizza at Earthling was very good and I don’t recall the prices as Captain Caveman paid but I know it was reasonable. Back at the Nature Home hotel, I didn’t take long to fall asleep which was good as we had a busy day tomorrow.

Hanoi – 11th April

Thursday 11th April was one of our most extravagant and expensive days of the year so far. I was still feeling really poorly when I woke up so Captain Caveman went alone to meet friends for a Bun Cha breakfast. He also had a walk to the famous Hanoi train street but didn’t take any photos as he’s been before. I got up to a lovely surprise when I needed my morning pee; a blocked toilet with a real treat from my other half! I could’ve cried but, instead, I got dressed, cleaned my teeth and walked to Oriberry cafe to use the loo and have breakfast. I had a hot winter tea to help sooth my throat and cough along with turmeric and ginger cookies.
Captain Caveman came to meet me and we had words about the toilet situation and I paid my bill of 110,000VND (£3.45). I also transferred our Turkish letting agent the money for her cut of the rent paid, a deep clean of Captain Caveman’s apartment and a replacement front door lock. The lock came as a surprise as there was nothing wrong with it when I left a month ago, but now it was broken! The only people who had been in were the workmen for the repair and replacement of the balcony railings, which we still needed to be finished by next week and were going to cost 55,000 Turkish lira (£1,358). Captain Caveman was aware of these costs and had been saving up before finding out about his job but, still, it was all pay out.
I was hungry so Captain Caveman decided to treat me to a nice lunch at Hanoi Taco Bar which looked out on to West Lake. We both ordered the lunchtime special, him with tacos and me with enchiladas. It was very tasty and for only 350,000VND (£10.98) for the both of us with a drink, it was worth it.
I was still very snotty but we decided to go to Republic for a drink overlooking the lake. To try to get some iron in me, I plumped for a Guinness and Captain Caveman had an Espresso Martini. Next, I decided to top up my calcium levels with a White Russian while Captain Caveman had 2 pints of Sapporo. Our bill for the 5 drinks came to 560,000VND (£17.57) which I didn’t think was bad for a fancy bar in Hanoi.
We walked back to Aisha hotel where I tried to make Captain Caveman deal with telling the staff about the toilet blockage. He said the cleaner would have been and sorted it out by now, but he was wrong. The cleaner was in another room so I went to get her and hoped Captain Caveman would speak to her. He laid on the bed on his phone and ignored the whole thing while she obviously thought it was my blockage. I couldn’t cope with it without heaving so, as she shoved her hand in to a plastic bag and then down the toilet, I went downstairs to sit in reception. When the lady finished she came downstairs and gave me 2 bottles of water, obviously thinking I was ill. I was so embarrassed and when I got back to the room, Captain Caveman had not moved or spoken to the woman! I was not pleased, at all!

Captain Caveman had arranged for us to meet up with Johan at a fancy restaurant in Dang Thai Mai, Tay Ho (West Lake) in the evening. On the way, we called for a cheeky drink at The Bottle Shop, I just had a soda as I was still not well but was getting better.
At Los Fuegos, where Johan was a regular, we indulged in the most amazing meal I’d had so far in Vietnam. No expense was spared as we tasted so many different dishes and it was Captain Caveman’s holiday, after all. I really ẹnjoyed 2 of the dishes which I thought I’d replicate once I was back in Turkey; the water melon & feta skewers and the dates with goats cheese – both were simple but amazing! Johan chose the wine which was a vintage Pinotage/Syrah at 840,000VND (£26.35) per bottle. Here’s what the 3 of us ordered and shared for our dinner, prices in Dong;

Black garlic sauce 60,000
Grilled Brussel sprouts 80,000
Watermelon & feta 125,000
Cheese 135,000
Bone Marrow 220,000
3 bottles of sparkling water 420,000
Rump steak 490,000
Skirt steak 730,000
3 bottles of red wine 2,520,000
Churros 100,000
Dates with Goats cheese 140,000
Total (Inc tax & tip) 5,020,000VND (£157.60)

It was worth the just over £52 each, which included a bottle of wine and a bottle of San Pellegrino water each, but I did feel a bit out of sorts for spending almost a week’s budget on one meal. It definitely made up for the shitty toilet incident earlier, though. Los Fuegos closed at 10pm so, after a quick photo with a Maradona painting, we were back to The Bottle Shop for one last drink. We said goodbye to Johan with a loose arrangement to meet up on our return to Hanoi.
Back in the hotel by 11.30pm, Captain Caveman fell asleep instantly on top of the covers, in just his pants. I stayed awake coughing for quite some time, hoping to be better for tomorrow’s 12.45pm flight.

Hanoi – 10th April

I slept in until pretty late on Wednesday 10th April and my cold had got a lot worse. Captain Caveman and I walked to the nearest shoping centre for breakfast and he had coffee and a cheese and ham toastie. He bought me a croissant and an earl grey tea but I could hardly taste it and kept coughing a lot. I was running out of underwear so we went to Rico where I bought 2 pairs of sensible knickers for 200,000VND (£6.38) and Captain Caveman thought it was a bit of an unnecessary expense. I rarely spend any money on clothes and when I do it’s always for practical reasons, but these were essential. I’d had my eye on one of the cute dresses they had for 400,000VND (£12.31) to take on our trip to Thailand but I was too sick and the budget didn’t include clothes to make me look pretty. On the way back to Aisha hotel we called a the shop for more essentials, here’s what we got and the prices in Dong;

Winmart Supermarket
1.5l water 10,600
Revive isotonic drink 11,800
Lays crisps 12,100
Japanese Crisps 19,000
Fridge cost 500
Total spent 54,000VND (£1.69)

Once back, I decided I needed to get back in bed and Captain Caveman was going to meet a friend for lunch, without me, but bring me something back to eat. As it was weigh day, and the 5th Fat Club in Dalyan that I’d been away for, I did my measurements. We had no scales but I’d put 1cm on my bust and waist, my hips had remained the same – maybe I didn’t need clothes in a smaller size if I was going to fill my baggy clothes again!
When Captain Caveman returned from a nice lunch at a yoga retreat with Cuc, he had brought me back a beautifully presented takeaway box. He told me they were fresh veggie spring rolls with a pesto dip. I bit in to one and it was super slimy and I had to spit it out. Unfortunately, he had brought me avocado rolls with some guacamole dip and had forgotten I hate avocado. Instead I ate crisps but I was still hungry.
That evening we were meeting our friend and Vietnamese teacher, Lien, for dinner but she had to rearrange plans and we met at Oriberry cafe. They do food but there was nothing I liked on the menu so I had a herbal tea and a slice of banana bread which Captain Caveman had half of and it was more like cake. It was only a brief meet up with Lien but it was good to see her, she looked really well. Captain Caveman decided we were going to go to an old favourite, Dalcheeni Indian restaurant, for dinner but Lien didn’t want to join us. I was a snotty mess and took ages to decide what to order. My eyes were streaming so I could hardly see the menu. I wasn’t having a good day where food was concerned as the samosas and my chicken tikka were too spicy so I ate the rice, naan bread and some of Captain Caveman’s chicken starter. Luckily Captain Caveman was able to eat what I had ordered without any complaints.
We walked back to the hotel, via the same shop where we bought the following;

Winmart Supermarket
1.5l water 10,600
Tissues 30,500
Total spent 41,100VND (£1.29)

Strangely, there was no extra cost for drinks from the fridge this time. Back at the hotel, I took some medication and went to sleep, hoping to feel better in the morning.

Dong Hoi to Hanoi – 9th April

Captain Caveman and I were tucking in to Bo Ne at Mr Bull’s in Dong Hoi before 8am on Tuesday 9th April. Our flight from Dong Hoi to Hanoi was at 10.50am, meaning we would arrive in to the capital city just before midday. I was a bit cranky in Dong Hoi airport, as I had ordered what I thought was an oolong tea but it turned out to be a bottled sweet tea with tons of sugar. Captain Caveman often goes in to complete shutdown in an airport and doesn’t respond to being spoken to, he is so used to travelling alone that he spends the entire time on his phone and I find it rude. The flight was as expected and we arrived on time with plans to get the number 86 bus to Xuan Dieu to meet an old friend. Captain Caveman had arranged to meet Leonard, who used to live in Phong Nha, at a nice little Italian restaurant of Leonard’s choosing. We were meant to be meeting at Giovanni’s between 12.30 and 1pm but, unfortunately, there was a bit of a delay with our bus. There were quite a few pushy men at the bus station, asking where we were going and probably trying to get us to take an illegal taxi. Captain Caveman was having none of it and we both kept our wits about us as we saw what looked like a bit of scamming. We got on the bus and paid the 90,000VND (£2.84) for the pair of us to go to Xuan Dieu. We sat a while and then we were asked to get on another bus, which was further delayed and meant that Leonard was waiting a long time for us. We didn’t get going until 12.46pm and it meant we had about 15 minutes before the Giovanni’s kitchen closed at 2pm, once we arrived. We said hello to Leonard who was looking very well and was dining on a pesto pasta dish which Captain Caveman also ordered and I went for the tomato version. It was very tasty but I had started to feel a bit under the weather and had a bit of a cough. I put it down to the pollution as we walked Leonard back to his nearby apartment and said our goodbyes.

We walked, with our bags, to the Aisha Hotel where we were staying for 3 nights. It was very nice and it had a super comfy bed and no windows – ideal for getting to sleep in at last! There was no rest to be had though as we needed to get ready for the evening’s entertainment and, quite frankly, Captain Caveman had excelled himself with what he had up his sleeve!

Captain Caveman and I had been invited by his friends, Martin and Martina, to an evening event at the Czech Embassy in Hanoi. We arrived to a champagne reception and I was glad I had worn one of my new dresses, a black floor length number. There was a fundraiser for Blue Dragon where the founder, Do Duy Vi, was there to receive donations from an auction. The designer Mimi Lan Nguyen put on a fashion show which incorporated Vietnamese silk with Czech linen to raise money for the charity. Hynek Kmoníček, the Czech ambassador, was there to introduce it all and was quite an amusing speaker. Vi and Mimi were great and their stories were particularly moving, especially Vi who had grown up in poverty himself. There were stalls dotted around the outside of the building, my favourite being the Belgian chocolate one. We got to taste amazing chocolates by chocolatier Peter Rudolf Braun and it was so good.
After the show there was a chance to mingle with the likes of the Finnish ambassador and his wife, both wearing big shiny rings. A buffet of fancy canapes was put on and I had 3 with a glass of red wine. Captain Caveman managed to snaffle down a considerable amount more than me but was still up for food and drink elsewhere later. I’d really enjoyed my evening of Vietnamese and Czech culture a lot more than I thought I would – definitely another first for me.

We left Martin and Martina to ‘finish their duties’ as they work at the embassy and we headed over to 7 Bridges where we arranged to meet back up with them. Here I drank cider as I was still trying to stay off the beer while Captain Caveman tried a couple of different IPAs. We also had some food, I had quesadillas and Captain Caveman had sausage. When Martin and Martina rejoined us we each had a slice of pizza too. It had been a great night, something a little different. Around 11pm we paid half each of our 1,580,000VND (£49.38) bill which consisted of 6 beers, 1 cider, 1 soft drink, 1 quesadilla, 1 sausage, and 4 slices of pizza. I was definitely glad of my bed that night and had a bit of a sore throat as I went to sleep.

Phong Nha to Dong Hoi – 8th April

On Monday 8th April at 7am the humidity was over 80% and my weather app said it would rain. Captain Caveman was convinced it wouldn’t and that it would be fine until we left for Dong Hoi at 4.15pm. At 8am Captain Caveman went to the Glass House and Oxalis to do work related stuff on his day off.
At 10.30am I met Hoan and Chung at Phong Nha Vegan where I ordered the Vegan Pho for breakfast. What I didn’t realise is that I’d been invited to the communal lunch at 11am so I, obviously, didn’t join in on the food. I met the staff and established their ages so that I knew whether to call them em or chi. Yen, Thuong, Nhung, Ha, Thuong Hai and Phuong all introduced themselves. I didn’t meet Hanh, as she starts later in the day but I already knew her.

My next stop off was to The Villa’s to meet Captain Caveman, as we had 3 hours until our pick up car and Captain Caveman was peckish. He had lunch there and some drinks and, here’s what we had and the prices in Vietnamese Dong.

The Villa’s
2 cups of Jasmine tea 60,000
2 Huda beers 70,000
1 cheese & onion toastie 95,000
Total spent 225,000VND (£7.10)

Just as we were getting ready to leave to get back to Oxalis for the pick up car, it started to rain. I was wearing a low cut top so I got quite wet with no time to dry off as the driver was already early and waiting. I was cold in the car with the AC on and had to close the flaps for the 50 minute journey to the Minh Quang hotel in Dong Hoi. We got checked in to a nice room and were meant to be meeting Dung (aka Seven) and his family at Tree Hugger for dinner but he cancelled. I was looking forward to Tree Hugger so Captain Caveman and I went by ourselves. Unfortunately, Captain Caveman tried to order 2 meals which were both unavailable and he had to settle for fried spring rolls. I ordered the beef and vegetable stir fry with brown rice and we both had a white russian and then walked back to the hotel.
Here’s the prices at Tree Hugger, they do a great White Russian;

Tree Hugger
1 Fried spring rolls 50,000
1 beef and veg rice plate 65,000
2 White Russian cocktails 120,000
Total paid 235,000VND (£7.42)

I had another live session booked in, about running my own business, so Captain Caveman went to meet Stu at the Korean BBQ place. My stomach wasn’t good so it was an early night as we were off to the airport in the morning.

Phong Nha – 7th April

On Sunday 7th April I had been asked by Chung if I would like to meet with her and Hoan, the owner of Phong Nha Vegan, at 8am. There was a new coffee shop opening in Phong Nha and they wanted to go there. I left Captain Caveman in bed with instructions to try to get the room cleaned and see if we could stay one more night.
Hi Coffee looked very nice and they had a cute little dog. I had a herbal tea and, when my friends arrived, they also had tea or juice, not coffee. Today was the opening day so we were there early and it wasn’t too busy yet.
My next stop off was at Tree House for a smoothie bowl breakfast on my way to meet Veronika. I cycled in the warm sun to meet her at Lotus Cafe & Restaurant for our lunch. I ordered the chicken Luk Lak with steamed rice instead of chips and Veronika had the pork ribs with pickled mustard greens. Both dishes were delicious and the waitress gave us a free juice, I also completely forgot to take photos of our food. My meal was 90,000VND (£2.84) which was a good price for the portion size. After, I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, in the sun, to see Captain Caveman.
Meanwhile, back in Turkey, the new rules about staying in a house where the owner wasn’t present were causing issues. It also meant I would no longer be able to pet sit for friends who were going on holiday in July, August or September, which was a bit of a problem for me, as we had tenants in Captain Caveman’s apartment until the end of September. It also meant I couldn’t stay at my parents’ place without them both being present unless I was able to prove I was related to them. Unfortunately, I still have an unrelated surname which would mean getting my birth certificate and marriage certificate, and I didn’t have them in Vietnam or Turkey. I’d not yet got the money together for my return flight either and needed to work out where I could stay until October, if I wasn’t allowed to pet sit in Turkey – another thing on the To Do list!
That evening, Captain Caveman and I cycled to Xin Chao for dinner where I had a really tasty chicken and vegetable fried rice and Captain Caveman ordered the meatball sandwich. We called in to The Villa’s for a cheeky nightcap on the way home. Tomorrow we were off to Dong Hoi in the afternoon so we both packed our bags ready for our next little adventure.

Phong Nha – 6th April

Even with Captain Caveman away, I was still awake by 7.30am on Saturday 6th April. I did some writing for my blog and generally lolled about until I realised I needed some breakfast. I wasn’t sure if Sunshine Homestay included breakfast but there was rarely anyone about. We’d been there 4 nights already and there was no sign of any cleaning of our room. I used Google translate to ask but I wasn’t sure if they understood. Bluey and I cycled in to town, as far as Tree House where I had a fruit salad with yoghurt and chopped nuts/seeds for breakfast. I also took my own Yorkshire tea bags and asked for some milk. When I paid the bill they only charged me for the fruit which was good of them as 80,000VND (£2.53) was fairly pricey for a breakfast in Vietnam.
Captain Caveman was due out this afternoon but would be going to his Gala dinner at Chay Lap tonight, Tatas was due back at 5.30pm. I kept myself free to meet either or both of them when they were available. For lunch I went to meet Chung at Phong Nha Vegan, but she was helping the staff in the kitchen. I tried the Vegan Banh Xeo, which is a rice flour pancake with tofu, mushroom and bean sprouts in, served with herbs and salad in rice paper rolls with a fake fish sauce dip. It was delicious and extremely filling. Just as I’d finished eating, Veronika messaged to ask if I fancied lunch with her at The Villa’s. Instead, she ate there and then came to meet me at the Vegan where she had a mango and coconut smoothie. I had a very refreshing iced kumquat tea as, despite the weather forecast of clouds and rain, it was quite hot and very humid.

I got back to Sunshine Homestay thinking I’d maybe have a little nannan nap but Captain Caveman was going to be back at the Glass House by 3pm. We were invited to Son’s house for a porter party at 3.30pm. I’m not usually keen on going to them as it’s lots of food which I can’t eat and warm beer with huge chunks of ice in – not my thing! Captain Caveman convinced me that it would be only for a couple of hours and he would bring a bottle of red wine for me, so I agreed. Captain Caveman and I were the first people there and we watched Son’s wife catering for the impromptu porter party with gusto. By 4.20pm I was a couple of glasses of wine in and was enjoying the BBQ pork and rice while Captain Caveman chugged beer with the boys and ate anything with chillies in. At the party there were Son, Lam, Gang, Hung, Cu Ba, a couple of other guys who’s names I didn’t catch and Bom later joined but only drank soft drinks. I was quite taken aback when Son passed round some Ferrero Rocher chocolates and I introduced them all to the making of a ring using the wrapper. As there’s not much English spoken, Gang was my translator and, after a pretend marriage ceremony, Captain Caveman got picked up for Chay Lap. Tatas said she was going to be late because she needed to do her exercises and tidy her room which was lucky, as Son and the remaining porters needed me to stay at their party. Everyone wanted a ring, except for Lam who was a firm no because he was already married and he did not want another wife – he was quite firm on this and I wasn’t sure if he was aware it was all make believe. Much hilarity and drunkenness followed until I finished my litre bottle of red and had to leave to meet Tatas.

Drunkenness at the Porter Party

Ferrero Rocher Rings

At The Villa’s Tatas had a margarita cocktail and a caesar salad while I had more red wine and a spaghetti bolognese. Captain Caveman joined us after his gala dinner, along with 3 Germans from Tatas’ last tour. More drinks were had with them, Captain Caveman ordered a pizza and our new friends insisted on paying for some of our drinks. We paid 344,000VND (£10.85) for our 2 meals and my glass of red wine which was a good deal. At 10pm, the Germans and Tatas were off to find a karaoke while a rather drunk Captain Caveman and I cycled back to Sunshine Homestay, where they still hadn’t cleaned the room or given us more than one towel! We only had one more night there so we’d survive. As I got in to bed I realised I’d missed a video call with my parents but hoped I’d catch up with them tomorrow.

Phong Nha – 5th April

I went to Oxalis early on Friday 5th April so that I could see Tatas before her 2 day Hang Va trip. She was tired and the bus hadn’t got in until gone midnight. I had a bacon sandwich and some green tea before picking up the laundry and cycling back to Sunshine Homestay.

It was a misty, humid morning but it was about to hot up so I agreed that Khanh Linh could pick me up for lunch. She drove us both to Bamboo cafe where she insisted on us having lime yoghurt drinks. I’d been brought up to never mix citrus and dairy in the belief that they curdle but that was not a rule that Vietnamese people held. It tasted good but I worried it would give me a stomach issue. We also shared fresh pork and prawn spring rolls and a mango salad with prawn crackers. It was all very nice but I had a bad stomach before we could leave the restaurant.

In the evening I took myself off for an early dinner at The Villa’s where I had a white wine and soda, smoked duck salad and a pizza. I was only on 7 syns for this week so it was time to treat myself and I only ate a bit of the pizza and took the rest home. I paid 385,000VND (£12.09) for a starter, main, and a wine and soda.
I did end up eating a bit more of the pizza before bed time though, as the fridge in the room was not on and had mould in it. Tomorrow, Captain Caveman was due out in the afternoon and he would have one day off before we went on another little jolly!

Phong Nha – 4th April

On Thursday 4th April I got an update from Tatas that she would be back in Phong Nha tonight, as there was no bus yesterday from her home town. Unfortunately, she would not be back until about midnight and was working tomorrow. I decided to take myself off to The Villa’s to catch up with some blogging. I had a fruit salad, yoghurt and muesli for breakfast with jasmine tea. I had a bee in my bonnet about the water bottles with filtered water in which sometimes harbour mould on the stoppers so I recommended to the staff that they clean them more. I didn’t drink the water out of the bottle they brought me because of this as my stomach was already delicate. I had pho bo (beef noodle soup) for lunch and then later a carrot, orange and ginger juice. I paid 220,000VND (£6.91) for breakfast, lunch and 4 drinks so that was quite a bargain.

After a rest at Sunshine Homestay, I got an invite to celebrate Chung’s birthday with her at a local Vietnamese restaurant, not far from Magic Fingers massage place. Chung gave me a lift but I had to carry 2 birthday cakes, one in each hand – a first for me on the back of a motorbike.
The party was good with lots of familiar faces as well as some new ones. I didn’t drink any alcohol, mainly because I no longer drink beer and I don’t like the rice wine. A lot of the food wasn’t suitable for me as it had seafood, innards and chillies in but Chung ordered veggie noodles and veggie fried rice for me, which was really nice.

Around 10pm there were swarms of flying ants which were a bit bothersome and I moved away from the table. Huong, from Jungle Boss, offered to give me a lift and I agreed to carry flowers and cake too. We went to karaoke and I even got persuaded to do a Britney Spears song. My battery on my phone died but I think I got in about 1am and Long, the owner of Sunshine Homestay, was surprised at my lateness. Huong gave me a lift as she was only round the corner and I couldn’t wait to get to bed.

joloyolo

The ramblings and observations of a fortysomething lady of leisure

Tag: vietnam