I made Captain Caveman and I some chicken fried rice for breakfast on the morning of Monday 22nd August. We discussed where I would stay in Saigon and I decided The Common Inn, Thao Dien, because we had stayed before and really like the place. I finished all my packing and we got the cases very full. I was quite concerned that I would not be able to lift the big case and I would definitely struggle to get all my luggage out of a taxi or up any steps, should I need to. The cleaners came to make up the bed in the spare room and they also returned the pillows but we didn’t need them for much longer. They even put a full complement of towels in the spare bathroom too. Floating in the pool we found a glow in the dark ladybird and we rescued it from drowning. That afternoon Captain Caveman had to go to Oxalis for something important and left me to plan my journey to return Bluey to the Glass House. I was not relishing the 13.5km cycle and, predictably, the sun was now shining. Captain Caveman had advised me to wait until 5pm when the sun might be starting to go in and we deduced that it might take me an hour. He was booked in for a haircut and shave at 5pm so we agreed I would head towards the hairdresser’s for 6pm, as he would have the keys. I left the house at 5pm and it was almost five past by the time I cycled on to the road beside Elements. I’d drank lots of water and was ready to endure the heat. I cycled past René’s Greenfield Homestay within 7 minutes and by 5.15pm I was as far along as the old Bomb Crater bar. The next section was harder than I remembered and I missed the shortcut turn off to go via Sy’s Homestay. At 5.25pm I had reached Magic Fingers massage place and was feeling very hot and saddle sore. As I turned on to the main Phong Nha road I was tempted to stop for a sugar cane juice on the roadside but decided to go to Coffee Station. I got there at dead on 5.30pm, which was impressive, but they were closing. Bluey was not phased and I got back on after a swig of water, which was now the temperature of how I drink my hot tea. Bluey continued to be super whizzy and I decided, as I was earlier than expected, to stop for a smoothie at The Villas. I must’ve looked a sight for sore eyes because all of the staff, who were eating dinner, stopped and looked at me. Hong came to serve me and I had a mango lassi, which was great and it didn’t touch the sides! Back on the bicycle I made it to the hairdresser’s, via a quick chat with Phuong at Little Leaf. There was now a huge Catholic church being built next to the hairdresser’s. Captain Caveman was in the chair getting a shave so I sat down and waited. He was impressed that I had got there before 6pm and, quite frankly, I was too! This was definitely a sign that my bad leg was back to normal again, after 2 years and 4 months! I cycled on to the Glass House, Captain Caveman drove Trigger and we popped Bluey inside. Captain Caveman put her up on the first floor ready for any winter floods which might come while we were gone. We had hoped to hear from Tatas to possibly meet to go to the Jungle Boss Pub. Captain Caveman had messaged her but she already had plans to go out with her customers instead. We went anyway as it was going to be my last chance before I left Phong Nha in 2 days time. Tatas said she would see us both tomorrow and Captain Caveman suggested we invite Stu and the boys round to say bye too. We really enjoyed the Jungle Boss Pub, I had 3 beers and we shared some of the stringy cheese and 2 portions of pork scratchings. We didn’t really want to leave but Captain Caveman was driving so we had to go. We were home before 7.30pm, had a beer and went to bed early. Tomorrow was my last day in Phong Nha and we hoped to make the best of it.
My weekly measurements on Friday 19th August were: Bust -1cm, Waist +2cm, Hips -2cm, Thighs no change Right calf -0.5cm, Left calf -1cm. Eating and drinking whatever I liked was definitely not helping the waistline. I had passion fruit, mango and strawberries for breakfast and pottered about a bit. Caroline had left early for Hoi An and Tatas had gone on a 2 day tour so they were both going to miss out on the fun tonight. I had the remaining chicken fried rice for lunch and watched the rain as it came down quite heavily. I then got on with organising how I was going to get to Phong Nha later, I certainly wouldn’t be cycling Bluey in the rain, despite it still being warm. The new Jungle Boss Pub was having their grand opening tonight from 6pm and, of course, I was keen to go. Everyone was invited and I hoped to see a few friends there. Trang was in Dong Hoi, from Saigon, but was going to be there with Trinh, the owner of Buffalo Home and Chill bar in Dong Hoi. I was cheeky and asked if I could get a lift with them and Trinh, who was driving, very kindly agreed. The rain stopped but I still decided to wear jeans and my jungle inspired top – I even had my hair down.
After my chaperones got a bit lost in Khuong Ha, we were on our way and we were even bang on time for the party. As we arrived there were masses of flowers to wish Jungle Boss luck for the opening. We were met by Dung, the owner of Jungle Boss, and said hello and congratulations for opening the much needed Phong Nha bar.
When I walked inside, I was impressed – the place looked amazing! It was very modern and different, with some great soft furnishings. The seats were very comfortable and we chose a table next to the stage. We ordered drinks from some familiar faces, it was nice to see Quan and Nga working as bartenders again. Food was ordered from the snack menu and it was great to see a mix of Vietnamese and western style choices. I was particularly excited to see they had pork scratchings on the menu too, Captain Caveman would love them.
We had a few drinks and listened to some amazing live music, there were more and more familiar faces and I got to catch up with lots of old friends, mainly from Jungle Boss. I managed to get up dancing and joined in on some singing, it was a superb opening night and I hoped the Jungle Boss pub would continue to flourish after I’d left Phong Nha. Trinh kindly dropped me back off and when I got in I decided to make myself a hotdog to finish off the night.
Photo credit – some photos from Jungle Boss Pub, Trang & Trinh
I still had 10 days left on my Vietnamese visa on Tuesday 16th August but there were certainly signs that my stay was now coming to an end. Captain Caveman went to Oxalis while I had my usual teacake loaf for breakfast, then he went to the Glass House to get me a suitcase and drove it back on his motorbike. I already had the suitcase, which I had borrowed from my parents, but Captain Caveman wanted me to utilise the whole of my 25kg allowance, so I needed a bigger case. He would bring back 2 cases, including my parents’ one as he had a bigger allowance than me. Captain Caveman had picked up the sausages from Viet Ha so he made me a 2nd breakfast. It was lovely too and I was impressed with the sausages. I also ordered some strawberries but they would be available to pick up tomorrow. Just before lunch time the cleaners came and stripped the spare bed down to everything except for the mattress protector and took all the remaining towels. I thought they were going to replace them but maybe because of the rain, and the Dong Hoi bedding woman saga, they didn’t have enough to cover both rooms. Captain Caveman had invited Stu and the boys round for beers, dinner and a dip in the pool so they arrived at 5pm. Caroline had already drove over and we had some pool beers. It was a fun evening for us and we carried on drinking and swimming, even after everyone had gone home and the spaghetti bolognese had been eaten.
Wednesday 17th August was super exciting and I was sworn to secrecy about most of it! You will find out more about the secret shenanigans eventually but, for now, I have to keep it under my hat. What I can tell you is that Captain Caveman and I took Trigger, the motorbike, in to Phong Nha to meet Tatas at Coffee Station. She had missed out on enough fun and celebrations already, due to being underground, so she was keen to meet up. While Captain Caveman went to Oxalis, she and I caught up and ate an English style breakfast with smoothies (and coffee for her). She had enjoyed her last Son Doong tour of the season and one of her guests was Turkish, I suggested I could meet him but she didn’t seem keen. In fact, after our meeting, she was off to meet her tour group for lunch and drinks at Len Con Peak but I didn’t get an invite. Stu and the kids arrived, with friends, as we were eating breakfast and we said hello. They ordered breakfast, then Captain Caveman arrived and he had coconut coffee and a mango smoothie. I made the mistake of ordering a second mango smoothie and then had a terrible stomach, due to too much fibre at once. Caroline arrived shortly after, as we had arranged to meet her for a ‘secret squirrel’ mission. She had failed to realise that the intended plans could not include taking Vee, the dog, so she had to go back to drop her off. Our secret mission involved Captain Caveman driving us both in to the Phong Nha Ke Bang National Park on Trigger, who really struggled on the steep hills but we managed it. Captain Caveman, Caroline and I spent the morning in the national park then met Harry, Linh and Chuc for a cold drink at the Botanical Gardens before riding back in to town. Our strawberry delivery had arrived so we called at Phong Nha Vegan to collect them from Chung. I was peckish and suggested we go to The Pork Shop for a Banh Mi so we met back there for a late lunch. While eating, Captain Caveman got a call from work saying that he had to go to Dong Hoi for a police check. I, luckily, had Caroline there to give me a ride home on her Royal Enfield motorbike and I had my own helmet with me already. It’s a really nice bike and so comfortable, Caroline rides it well too. Back at mine it seemed really warm as I said bye and arranged to meet for beers at ours later. It turned out that there was a bit of a to do with Captain Caveman’s paperwork which resulted in him having to go straight to his briefing instead of coming home to join me for a swim. It did work out well for me and my mom though, as he had time to nip to the phone shop to get my mom a new phone. By 4pm it was raining in Phong Nha and I wondered what I might have for dinner. I had a makeshift beans on toast but then had a bad stomach again. Captain Caveman was late home after his briefing so we cancelled the beers with Caroline. Although Captain Caveman would be in Son Doong tomorrow, Tatas had a rare day off and I was looking forward to doing something with her.
Captain Caveman brought me a pot of Yorkshire tea in bed, before 7am on Thursday 18th August. He left for his last Son Doong trip of the season and would be back on Sunday. I was looking forward to having Tatas and Caroline round for an afternoon in the pool with some beers. I made myself some chicken fried rice for brunch and got through all my tasks so that I would be free for frivolities later. Captain Caveman called me from the village on his way to Son Doong to ask me to ride Bluey from Elements to the Glass House. This was a distance of 13.5km and the heat was too much for me to do this, but he said if I didn’t do it, it would only be another job for him to have to do when I left. I decided to wait until a cooler day, or maybe even cycle to an event in Phong Nha tomorrow evening, after the sun had gone down! Tatas was the first to cancel this afternoon’s plans because she had to go to Dong Hoi at lunch time. At first she said she would come to mine on the way back but then said she wouldn’t have time as she needed to tidy her room and pack for her next trip tomorrow. Caroline was next to cancel when she found out she had to be back in Hoi An earlier than expected. She decided to spend her last night, tonight, at Ho Khanh’s Homestay but did invite both Tatas and I over there instead. I wasn’t fancying getting a taxi there and back so I declined. Tatas didn’t answer any texts to ask if she wanted to go to meet Caroline, which was nearer to her house than mine. My afternoon involved watching Trainwreck on Netflix, a documentary about a Woodstock style festival in 1999 which gets completely out of hand. That evening I chilled out and had French onion soup for dinner.
On Monday 15th August, we were wondering what to do with the massive bunch of flowers that were in our sink. Captain Caveman went outside to find the housekeeping staff to ask for a vase, they took the flowers and said they would sort them out. What we got back in a small vase was only a portion of the flowers, we don’t know what happened to the rest but I never saw them again. Flowers aren’t treated in the same way they are back home and they probably just got shared in to the other rooms or binned, which was a shame. We had toasted teacake loaf for breakfast which is my new favourite.
Captain Caveman was probably feeling the effects of too much booze for the second night running because he hardly said a word and lolled about all morning on his phone. I think he had wanted to go to Phong Nha (for work, with it being a Monday) but his motorbike was still at Karst Villas. He was hoping for Caroline to be able to ride it to our place, as her motorbike was still at ours, from impromptu pool party night. When Caroline did come over with his bike and our helmets it was too late for him to bother going to work. Instead, Caroline suggested a trip to the Phong Nha Farmstay. Captain Caveman contacted the reception to ask them to send the jeep to pick us up. The message was lost in translation as he didn’t specify it was for 3 of us plus a dog. Chien turned up razzing the engine of the Ural and tried to say he could get us all on the motorbike and side car. I said not and asked Chien to take Captain Caveman, Caroline and Vee first but come back for me afterwards. It was great to see Cuong for the first time since the start of the pandemic too, he’d been injured and was slowly getting better and could now walk, but with a limp.
When we arrived at the Farmstay there was no way I could have any alcohol after the weekend we’d had! Captain Caveman and Caroline, however, managed several frozen margaritas and food was ordered. I said I’d share Captain Caveman’s salami pizza and Caroline went for one of the Aussie meat pies with chips and gravy. Kat came over from Phong Nha to meet me and it was great to see her and Caroline get on. They are so very different but both have very interesting lives so I was pleased to see them find some common ground to chat about. Our pizza was very good and was proven by me only getting 2 slices and Captain Caveman snaffling the rest in record time! Kat wasn’t able to stay long because her boyfriend, Buu, was on his way out of the caves and she wanted to see him while she could. I didn’t think we would stay much later anyway but we stayed long enough for a swim in the pool and to see Benjamin off. We’d made another new Phong Nha friend and I felt sure our paths would cross again.
Long, the Phong Nha Farmstay manager, reminded me that I still had Bluey in the car park so, while the others were getting a lift back to Elements, I was about to cycle back home. Long was insistent that he drive us all in the Troopy and he put Bluey in the back. When we got back, Caroline took her bike back to Karst Villas and Captain Caveman got on with making french onion soup for dinner. I found out that Viet Ha, who I know from when we worked at Jungle Boss, was now selling homemade pork sausages so we ordered 500g. I took a photo of our reduced size bouquet and only then realised we had a big vase with dried flowers in which I could have used to place all of the rest of the flowers in! The French onion soup was very tasty but we were definitely ready for bed early that night!
By 9am on Thursday 11th August I was eating teacake loaf and drinking orange juice for breakfast. I caught up with some blogging and other chores, the weather was quite dull and a storm threatened but never came. I made bruschetta for lunch, using Captain Caveman’s tomato sauce and cheddar cheese, and had it with a beer. I was ill straight after and had to have a lay down on the bed. Later I ate some crisps but was ill again so I got in bed. I did lots of Turkish Duolingo and our friend, Caroline, had arrived at Karst Villas with her dog, Vee. I couldn’t meet her as I was still so ill with my stomach. I went to bed without any dinner and slept, a lot.
I was feeling much better on Friday 12th August when I got up. It was measurements day and here were my results: Bust & Waist no change Hips +4cm Both thighs +1cm Right calf +1cm Left calf +2cm After having such a bad stomach yesterday I’d hoped for better. I had toasted teacake loaf and orange juice for breakfast and my stomach was fine. Even my Bolognese lunch and a glass of wine had no reaction. In the afternoon I had some disappointing news from my friend, unfortunately her plans for her forthcoming holiday to Marmaris didn’t match with my plans in Dalyan and we were no longer going to be able to meet up. In the afternoon, I decided to cycle Bluey to the Farmstay for happy hour to cheer myself up and thought I could leave her there if I didn’t come home before dark. Caroline was also thinking she might meet me there but she had to go to celebrate prayer day. Most of the locals were celebrating the relatives who have died by getting together to pray, eat and drink. When I got to the Farmstay, Michael told me that Caroline had been there looking for me but she must have just missed me. I had a couple of 2 for 1 rum and cokes then ordered the pork clay pot for dinner. The Farmstay was quite empty tonight compared to usual so it was nice to enjoy the peace and quiet. Caroline never reappeared but Cameron did and he joined me for some drinks. I had red wine, he had Pina Colada and we had a good chat. Bich joined us for a little while and Long brought me over some mushroom skewers from his visit to Phong Nha Vegan. It turned in to a pleasant evening, I locked Bluey up in the car park and got a lift home with Long at 10pm, as we had no Duyet.
Although we were up by 7.30am, on Monday 8th August, the weather was wet and it looked like a day of staying at home was on the cards. Captain Caveman and I lolled about most of the morning and didn’t even have any breakfast. We had sandwiches for lunch with the fresh baguette and watched the rain while eating passion fruit. In the afternoon, Captain Caveman made tomato sauce for pasta. The rest of the day was very rainy so Captain Caveman couldn’t go to Phong Nha as he’d planned. We had wine and pasta for dinner, with the homemade tomato sauce which was lovely. It was Captain Caveman’s last day off – the last few days had gone so quickly.
On Tuesday 9th August we both had breakfast together then Captain Caveman had to go in to Phong Nha in the rain. I stayed at home and enjoyed a pot of Yorkshire tea. When he got home I asked about his next trip and he said he wasn’t allowed to talk about it and that he had to sign a 2 year gagging order. I automatically jumped to the assumption that, finally, all those times that Captain Caveman’s boss, had promised David Beckham or Leonardo DiCaprio were going to Son Doong that it might be actually happening. It wasn’t. I made us a second breakfast of fried rice and we waited for the heavy rain to stop. Once it slowed down, Captain Caveman headed back to Phong Nha to meet his next Son Doong guests who were a film crew, and the photographer Ryan Deboodt. My day wasn’t quite as exciting but I did meet Sammy the slug, who was walking up our window. In the evening I was supposed to be joining Captain Caveman in Phong Nha but the weather was far too wet. He stayed in Phong Nha and went to his briefing at Oxalis, I had a cider and updated my diary. When Captain Caveman got home we had red wine with cheese, crisps, nuts and gherkins.
Captain Caveman set off early for his special film crew Son Doong trip on Wednesday 10th August and I prepared myself for a few quiet days at home. In the weather news, from the Hanoi Weather Dude who we follow on Facebook because he’s really accurate and interesting, we were in for some stormy weather. The North would suffer the most but that’s why we had been experiencing the rain here. I had buttered crumpet for breakfast and completed Level 1 of Duolingo Turkish to the end. I had only 2 weeks left in Phong Nha and Captain Caveman only 3 weeks left until he flew to Saigon. I decided to go on a bicycle ride with Bluey, not far, just to get some fresh air and see the rice paddies nearby. The last time I’d cycled the same route my bad leg had still hurt but now I found it was back to normal and I could cycle faster than the pedals would allow, without gears. I got to the French Road, where I had parked up to take photographs, when a man on his motorbike saw me and pulled over. I was a bit apprehensive as he came over and spoke to me (in Vietnamese, which I didn’t understand) but he just wanted to take a photo of me and then a selfie with me. I didn’t hang about to chat after that though and cycled back home. Bluey was super whizzy and I’d not even been gone 20 minutes in total when I checked the time. I made a veggie lunch of aubergine, peppers, tomato and garlic with steamed rice and it was quite tasty. In the afternoon the cleaners were in and I thought they may be bringing the pillows back to the spare room, but they didn’t and even the towels in there seemed to not be being replaced. I sat in the kitchen and did loads more Turkish on Duolingo then ate some passion fruit. In the evening I finished off the wine with my Bolognese, which was lovely.
We had a great day on Saturday 6th August, it was a hot sunny day and ideal for a bicycle ride, according to Captain Caveman. We had been invited to René’s Greenfield Homestay to celebrate his 59th birthday with free cold Huda beers. We decided to have lunch first because we needed to line our stomachs. I said I would make us a chicken and rice dish but we nearly ended up in a big row as Captain Caveman thinks he knows best on how to cook things in the kitchen. I had put chicken in with the rice, in the rice cooker to steam, with a plan to slice it and make a kind of stir fry with a BBQ sauce. Of course, Captain Caveman took over and we ended up with boiled carrots a piece of chicken with BBQ sauce on and steam rice with corn in. The rice hadn’t come out well because the chicken had been too watery so it didn’t really taste too good. Bluey was out for the first time in so long that she was super whizzy, she didn’t even stop when my sun hat flew off so I had to catch it and put it in my basket. I thought she might struggle on the up hill after the bridge but she was fine and my legs were doing really well. I even thought that Bluey could do with her seat raising a bit as she felt a bit low for me after riding other bicycles in Dalyan. When we arrived at René’s I was a sweaty mess and very hot, Captain Caveman was dry as a bone and couldn’t understand why I was so hot, he took Bluey and rode her to the parking spot while I walked up the little path to the homestay. It was the first time I’d been here and it was really lovely. René was already drinking beer and chatting with 2 other guests, who I didn’t realise at the time had been invited by Captain Caveman. Harry and Linh work for a charity organisation, Animals Asia, who rescue, care for, rehabilitate and release wild or endangered animals. Captain Caveman had met Harry before so we were all introduced and had a bit of a laugh at the rumour that there had been a sighting of a tiger in the jungle. René gave us cold beers and we chatted about animal rescue related stuff and tourism. Of course, I had so many questions about the animals but I managed to get on to the subject of droppings – did you know wombat poo is cube shaped!? Harry is looking after some tigers at the moment so he told us about them. In the National Park, Harry and Linh are working with lots of other animals too but mainly different species of rescued monkeys. We were thinking about making our next beer our last when I decided to have a wander around the grounds of the homestay. They have a working farm and it is beautiful, I met Mina, the dog, and she seemed really shy and hot – she loved the fan. A group of customers returned from their day out and we got talking to them. One of them, Max, was from Bristol and worked at a Wetherspoon’s pub which then lead to all of us Brits talking about Wetherspoon’s, possibly for a bit too long for the foreigners’ liking. I think Captain Caveman could have stayed there all day but I was conscious of me having to ride Bluey home drunk and we do have to go along the road where there is some traffic every now and again. I also did not want to be going back in the dark as Bluey has no lights. After 1 last birthday beer, we decided to go home for dinner, we rode home around 5pm and I actually was quite quick. I felt the incline after the bridge but I made it without contemplating getting off. I think it took me less than 10 minutes to get home so I was pleased with that progress.
Seeing as it was Saturday night and Captain Caveman wasn’t working, we decided to go to the Farmstay for dinner. By 7pm we were sharing a bottle of red wine and had ordered some starters to share. This time we ordered things we both liked; chicken quesadillas and pitta bread with artichoke and olives – a couple of our favourites. For mains, Captain Caveman surprised me by ordering a Vietnamese dish, and one I often choose, the pork clay pot with rice and vegetables. I had something I don’t usually have but Lottie had really loved it on Monday, the tofu curry with steamed rice. I also thought it was really good and is great value for money. Of course we ended up drunk and I don’t even remember getting a lift home from the Farmstay. I’d also completely forgotten that tomorrow we had to get up early, as Captain Caveman had arranged for a car to pick us up at 8am!
My intention was to ride Bluey up to the Farmstay at 7am on Tuesday 2nd August. I’d arranged to have breakfast with Andrea, Nick and Lottie before they left to go to Hue. The rains yesterday had cleared the air and it looked like it was about to be very hot today. Duyet was waiting for me in the jeep and I remembered (drunkenly) saying to him last night “tôi đi Farmstay bảy giờ” which means “I go to Farmstay at seven o’clock”. I was the first there, closely followed by Andrea, and Nick’s promise of a 6am swim had been forgotten. For breakfast I ordered a Pho Bo (beef noodle soup), Andrea chose omelette which comes with bread and the others had a sausage related breakfast with a big hash brown. It had been great to catch up with them and they were looking forward to a sightseeing trip, by private car, to Hue this morning. I sent recommendations through as well as the reminder of the Nook Eatery where Andrea had eaten with Captain Caveman before. We said our goodbyes and I hoped to see Andrea in Ho Chi Minh on my way back to Turkey, later in the month. I had to wait 30 minutes for Duyet because he was busy so I hung around the Farmstay bar, trying to keep out of the hot sun at 8am. I noticed a glass container which should be used for drinks being used as a fish tank – it was a bit random. I chatted to Bich who was looking forward to joining Ben and their friends on a 5 day motorbike trip up in the north of Vietnam.
Back home, I did a few chores and when it was a little cooler I did a bit of shade-bathing on the lounger by the pool, where I saw lots of dragon flies. For lunch I had fruit and teacake loaf and then had a swim. I got a message from my mate, back in Southampton, who was going to be in the Muğla province of Turkey, the same province as where I would be, at the end of August. I was so excited and we decided we would plan to meet up, as it turned out that we were both arriving at Dalaman airport on the same day which was a great coincidence.
In the evening I had been invited to another party but this time it was a sad occasion; Duyet was leaving on Friday and was having a party in the garage with the staff tonight. He had invited me to join them at 7.30pm and I had assumed it would just be for some beers. I had an early dinner of chicken and veg stir-fry with steamed rice then had a shower and got ready for a few drinks. When I went outside there was an abundance of drinks and food, all the staff were there including Duyet’s replacement, Quoc. The party was great and we had a good old laugh using Google translate, and they said how much they loved having me there. I told Duyet we would miss him and that we were sad that he was leaving. His plan was to go to work in either Hanoi or Saigon but it had not been finalised yet – none of us wanted him to leave but I tried to be understanding. The party turned out to be a good one and I even taught one of the housekeeping staff’s kid to dance to ‘Billy Jean’, by Michael Jackson. I managed 3 beers but Hien managed at least 5 and we all had a joke that she could almost drink as much as Captain Caveman. It was a lovely evening and the Elements Collection team showed so much generosity and kindness.
Having been awake most of the night due to the storm, I woke up to nice weather on Wednesday 13th July. Our mate, Stu, had invited me over to his place for lunch with Tatas today and I was looking forward to that. Because their house is a bit far for me to walk, and is slightly too far to cycle in hot sun, Stu arranged for me to get picked up. Jack, Stu’s son, came to collect me on his motorbike and I was a bit apprehensive at first. He’s very experienced in riding motorbikes solo, despite only being 16, but I wasn’t sure if he’d taken a (heavy) passenger like me before. I have my own crash helmet so I was ok and he went fairly slowly through the countryside lanes. Tatas didn’t know the way so she followed from my place, which meant I could have had a lift with her if I’d known. Stu’s home is a fab 4 bedroom house with a large pool and open plan living/dining/kitchen area. It has plenty of space and great bathrooms – they even have sunken baths! It’s in the Cu Nam area which is higher up than where we are, in Khuong Ha, so is a safe place, even in flood season. Did I mention that it is currently up for sale and at a great price too? If anyone is in the market for a property near to Phong Nha and Dong Hoi they could get an amazing property at the Belafonte, as it’s nicknamed. It was the first time that Tatas had been for a visit as she had been busy with work so it was good to see her on her day off. We were given beers with ice as we sat down at the huge kitchen table to catch up on what the boys had been up to. We ordered East Hill chicken for lunch, which was fantastic, chatted a bit more and drank a few beers. Stu is not normally a drinker these days but he joined us for a couple of cold ones on this hot day. Tatas had forgotten her swimmers but that didn’t stop her jumping off of the plunge pool edge, in to the big swimming pool below, in denim shorts. I got in to the plunge pool to cool off as it was so hot and humid again. Tatas kindly took some photos of us in the pool as the clouds started to roll in a bit more. When she left, as she had a briefing that night, I had a lift back to mine with her. We had just got back in time when another storm came and we were fortunate to have left when we did. It had been a fun day out, with lots of laughs, and we hoped to meet up again when Captain Caveman and Tatas had days off at the same time. For dinner I had pasta with Stilton cheese, I watched the rain and had yet another early night.
Captain Caveman was on day 2 of his tour and I was expecting rain, the skies were cloudy and it felt a bit cooler on Friday 1st July. I decided I’d been a bit slack with not taking my measurements or getting weighed each week and would reintroduce it. In Phong Nha we don’t have any scales but Captain Caveman had previously brought over a tape measure. The last time I had taken measurements was the 6th May, so almost 2 months ago and I was shocked by the results. I’d had a good month of going out in Dalyan and then a quieter month with less drinking in Phong Nha. These were my results this morning; Bust -3cm, Waist -5cm, Hips -6cm, Right thigh -0.5cm, Left thigh -2cm, Right calf -2.5cm, Left calf -3.5cm. Wow, I wish I knew my weight. My calves had lost a lot, probably from not cycling, walking or dancing like I was in Turkey. Both calves measured the same but my thighs had a 1cm difference still and I was sure the swimming was helping my overall measurements. I treated myself to a breakfast of buttered teacake toast and then got to moving Captain Caveman’s winter clothes in to the spare room. I also noted while tidying up his stuff that he had in excess of 10 pairs of sunglasses including 1 pair of mine that I had given him last year when he said he didn’t have any to wear – they were my only spare pair. For lunch I took a Snickers out of the freezer and it defrosted naturally within minutes. In the afternoon the cleaners came, so I chopped fruit in the kitchen. I put mango and passion fruit in the fridge and freezer and ate an orange. The rain didn’t come and the humidity level was very high, I heard thunder nearby. At 6.30pm I got picked up for pizza night with the Le Mitchell family at The Villas. When we arrived it was very busy so Veronika wanted to sit by the river, I find that it’s easier to get served nearer the bar so I joined René who was sat at a table outside but near to the door. I ordered a beer and said yes to the all you can eat pizza for 180,000vnd (£6.30). Veronika, Ross and the grandchildren came to sit next to us and went for the same deal. We chatted on about the visa extension debacle and the pizzas were great, as always. The company was lovely and I had a really good evening. René and I exchanged phone numbers and told me he was happy to come pick me up on his motorbike to go to his, while Captain Caveman was away which was really kind. Veronika and Ross also said they fancied a trip out to see his homestay and we could perhaps cycle there together. It wasn’t too far and I quite fancied doing that.
When Captain Caveman goes in to the cave I’m not usually one for being down about it, I always have a list of things to do to keep me entertained. On Thursday 30th June, though, I did feel a bit out of sorts and I wasn’t entirely sure why. It could have been that I had only 5 days left in Vietnam, potentially. It could have been that my family and friends in Dalyan were having a DBL (Deep Blue Leg-Ends) reunion today and I really wished I was able to be there. The day started super early, obviously, as Captain Caveman was awake about 5.30am and we were going to have ‘McMuffins’ for breakfast. Before 7am I was tucking in to a bacon and brown sauce muffin, Captain Caveman was devouring his bacon, fried egg and cheese (with mayonnaise) muffin. I said goodbye and decided I would go to pump up Bluey’s tyres. It was hot but a little cloudy so today just might be a good day to cycle to the Phong Nha Farmstay. I’d already said I would meet Veronika and Ross, Tatas was hoping to join us later too, as she had a day off. My Vietnamese was never brilliant but I’d noticed, since learning Turkish, that I had forgotten a lot of the Vietnamese I had learned so I ended up causing a bit of a misunderstanding with Duyet. Bluey’s tyres were completely flat and the small bike pump, which Captain Caveman had at home, was next to useless, mainly as the valve wouldn’t fit properly. I tried to tell Duyet this but I wasn’t sure if he understood and he gave me a lift in the jeep instead.
Veronika and Ross had already had breakfast so I didn’t bother ordering anything and we got reacquainted. They had spent the last 9 months back home in Australia and were staying at the Farmstay in the Jungalo Collection, on holiday for just 2 weeks. Stu and Jack came to join us and when I told them all my bike pump translation issue they were laughing at me for inadvertently propositioning Duyet. We decided that when I got back I should go check the bicycle first and if Bluey’s tyres were still flat, I should be concerned I’d said the wrong thing! Tatas arrived and we had a draught beer each while chatting to everyone, she concurred that I had probably given Duyet the wrong impression. After Stu and Jack left, the rest of us ordered lunch. Both Tatas and I had the Nem Lui which is one of my favourite Vietnamese pork dishes and it was very tasty. Tatas bought a bottle of wine and we managed a swim in the Farmstay pool. We’d got out and we were getting down the wine when there was a sudden downpour. There was only one thing for it, more wine! I spent 950,000vnd (£34.20) on food and (mostly) drink but it was a brilliant day, ending with a pint of draught beer. I got home late and forgot to check Bluey, but there were no surprises from Duyet so I think all was well. The coming weekend would be my last one in Phong Nha before I left for Singapore, I really hoped it wouldn’t be the last time I saw Captain Caveman for a while.
On Tuesday 14th June Captain Caveman was up early, ready for his next tour. I asked him to resend me his schedule for June, July and August as I didn’t realise that he’d only have 2 more days off in the rest of the month. Captain Caveman had already had the first 8 days of June off to go to meet me in Saigon. I hadn’t realised this before my flight was booked to turn up 5 days into his days off, I should have come earlier if I wanted to see him more. Before Captain Caveman left, we went out to see Bluey, my bicycle, and he managed to adjust her seat for me so that I had a way of getting about, if it ever got cool enough for me to attempt it. I didn’t bother with breakfast as I was feeling too hot but by the time it got to lunch time I was peckish. I put the rice cooker on and had my left over butter chicken and naan bread with steamed rice and it was delicious. In the afternoon I chilled out by the pool with my new book, Two Pillars Remain, and a White Russian (the cocktail, not a war refugee). I got in touch with Tatas and Darren to arrange doing something tomorrow, as they both had a day off then a briefing together. We hoped to go to one of my favourite places in Phong Nha, if the weather was ok.
A friend kindly pointed out that when I left Dalyan, after a 36 week and 3 day stay, that there was probably a lot I would miss. Here’s my list of what I think I will miss the most:
1. People – obviously I’m going to miss my family and friends. This visit has also meant I’ve been lucky enough to meet up with both old and new friends. I’ve been so grateful to meet some very special people who I love spending time with. I will particularly miss the banter and jokes that I can have with friends in Dalyan, it’s hard to find that same sense of humour when I’m away.
2. Independence – it’s going to be tricky having to get used to fitting to Captain Caveman’s schedule again. I’ve had 8.5 months of being able to do what I choose to do, when I want so it will take some adjusting to.
3. Boat trips – I’d been doing a few per month so it was going to be hard not to be enjoying all the lovely boat trips and swimming in the turquoise water.
4. Food – of course I will miss the massive choice of food available in Dalyan. Not having an oven in Phong Nha will take some getting used to. I was also going to miss Kate’s fruitcake and the fresh bread for only 3 lira a loaf at the local bakery.
5. Speaking the lingo – I’d made a bit of progress learning the Turkish language and was beginning to like being able to make myself understood. Despite having kept up some Vietnamese practice on Duolingo no one in Phong Nha understands a word of my Vietnamese, and never has.
6. The dry heat – although I’m not good in high temperatures I find it much easier in Turkey with the dry heat than the humidity of Vietnam.
7. Booze – in Dalyan there is so much opportunity and choice where alcohol is concerned. Going to a bar to drink or to someone’s house for a wine or two is no problem and mostly within walking distance. There’s never a day goes by without an invite to something involving a drink.
8. Supermarkets and shops – I’m not much of a shopper but I will certainly miss being able to walk or cycle to a supermarket, pharmacy or shop to buy essentials.
9. Exercise classes – I’m going to miss being able to go to Zumba and Pilates every week as I’ve really enjoyed how they had benefited my bad leg.
10. Transport – I’ve been spoiled by being able to use Mark and Kate’s electric bikes, I will certainly miss being able to whizz about with assisted pedalling when it’s hot or hilly. It’s also easy to go out and about with a taxi or a bus to a nearby place in Dalyan. It’s not as simple or as affordable as that in Phong Nha so it means relying on lifts and other people.
I think the words ‘hanging out of my own arse’ have never been truer than on Friday 3rd June, when I woke up to messages from Captain Caveman. He was suddenly excited to be seeing me and had sent me a blurred photo of a flight he had booked for when my visa expired, in case I needed to show it at check-in. I stayed in bed to transfer money to him for the electricity and water over the next few months. I’d had some really lovely messages from friends who’d been unable to come out last night, Sue managed to bring a tear to my eye with her kind words. Mark and Kate had invited me, Matt and my parents over to their place for a final farewell in the afternoon. I had a bit of a laugh at Matt, who may also have been hungover, when he posted on a group chat to say he would be going over to Mark and Kate’s for bacon sandwiches at 1pm. Mark had also replied on the group chat to ask me or Matt to bring bread and that it might be sausages as they were having trouble locating the bacon. My parents had the workmen in and so they couldn’t go, which hindered my plans slightly as I was meant to be cycling to Penny and Phil’s. The idea was I would ride Bluey2 to their’s, slightly before the others got the taxi to Mark & Kate’s. I could then drop Penny’s bike off and get in the taxi for the rest of the way. Instead, Matt would cycle over about 1pm, my Dad would wait in with the workmen and my Mom would come and help me pack. I would then cycle to Mark and Kate’s but drop the bike off on the way back before going out for my final meal. As my flight had been changed it turned out I could have gone to a Jubilee party after all. I checked the Jubilee group on Facebook so I could see what time to perhaps pop in but I’d been removed already. I’m not really in to the Royal family any way but maybe they’d found out how bad we had been on questions about the Queen at the Retro bar quiz and I had got an automatic ban – it might be better to leave it to the more patriotic. When Ma arrived her facial expressions were a treat as she couldn’t believe how far off being ready I was!
Luckily for her, I’m a list maker and I had a note of all the jobs still to do (before 1pm ideally): 1. Print out my Vietnamese visa (I don’t have a printer but Kate was going to do it) 2. Pack away all my belongings in to the various lockable cupboards 3. Store all the non-perishable kitchen items in the lockable cupboard 4. Sort out 2 loads of washing 5. Empty the kitchen cupboards of spare food 6. Empty the fridge and decide who to give what to 7. Empty the freezer and give everything I could to Mom 8. Bin anything that wasn’t going to last or be donated 9. Empty the bins 10. Do the washing up 11. Pack my suitcase 12. Pack my hand luggage 13. Charge my laptop and phone 14. Defrost the fridge freezer
My Mom suggested I should let Mark, Kate and Matt know I’d be late and that it would be better for Matt to get the bread. I messaged (not in the group) to say I would leave mine at 2pm and then Mom and I got on with it. It was the hottest day of the year so far and it didn’t help that yesterday one of the Aircon remotes had stopped working. We had done a couple of hours without AC but we were both a drippy mess by noon. Luckily, I didn’t need any lunch on account of me only just remembering that I had eaten cheese on toast and the half portion of beef wrap from Hotel Dalyance at 3.45am this morning – more luck than judgement, really. Ma was instrumental in helping with the pots, sorting out the piles of clothes, packing and sorting the fresh and frozen produce out with me. She also managed to fill a whole bin liner of stuff to throw away. My Mom left looking frazzled and a bit bewildered as to why I hadn’t done all this sooner. She had a bag of store cupboard stuff, some frozen stuff and some very nice home cooked meals to see her through the week. I also ended up with a large bag of stuff for Kate, as I knew she wouldn’t have me throw stuff away, including a jar of pickled red cabbage. All I needed to do now was hang the washing out and cycle over to Mark and Kate’s for another last farewell.
I arrived at Mark and Kate’s house at just after 2pm, a hot and sweaty mess. I had the bag of stuff, including a meat pie, brown and BBQ sauce, Lurpak butter, the curry paste which Kate had made me, but I’d not used it yet, and a few other bits and bobs. Mark sorted me out with a shandy while I squidged items in to the fridge and freezer. Matt was already sipping a shandy and had brought plenty of bread for the hot dogs. We had a couple more shandies, then Mark got cracking with the sausages. He even treated us to fried onions with them and we used up some of the BBQ sauce I brought. Kate offered us all fruitcake with butter and Red Leicester cheese on but I didn’t want to upset Mark, I declined but Mark and Matt enjoyed some. I had even packed some of Kate’s fruitcake, Red Leicester and Stilton cheeses to take with me to Vietnam. I decided to change in to my swimmers so that I could get in the pool, I noticed my pink towel on the terrace railing, which was odd. I hadn’t remembered putting it in their bag last night so that I didn’t have to carry it round. Then it was time for my farewell treat; Prosecco! It was the real stuff too and it was bloody lovely, in fact we ended up having 3 bottles between 3 of us, Matt just had the 1 glass. We took some photos and we almost forgot to print off the visa, as Kate was in charge but getting a bit merry. I realised I’d still not been in the pool but it was almost time to leave. I still had to drop Bluey2 off at Penny and Phil’s, get home and get ready for dinner with my parents. In my head I’d mistakenly anticipated having time for a nap at some point today but that wasn’t going to happen. Kate and Mark kindly offered to sort out the returning of Penny’s bike and suggested I get a taxi back to mine so that I wouldn’t be too late. Matt left earlier than me, I gave him a big hug and then had 1 more glass of Prosecco. When it came to saying goodbyes I was sad, I said I’d call them from time to time, Mark and Kate said they’d keep in touch too. I got to say bye to the cats who were already glad I was going because they had ‘my’ bed to themselves. Fikri dropped me off at my apartment and we confirmed my airport pick up would be Fikri personally later, at 01.45am to be precise. I’d only just finished packing when it was time to go out.
We were booked in at our favourite restaurant in Dalyan for my last meal here. My parents and I arrived at 7.30pm and had a lovely table on the mosque square side of the restaurant. I’d already decided I would have steak and I think it was a given that we would have a bottle of wine. We love Bistro Blue because of the great food, excellent service, but also because we like the owners and staff, plus it has a lovely ambience which makes you feel relaxed. My Dad had one of his favourite dishes, the liver and onions with bacon, served with mashed potatoes. Mom decided she would have steak with onions and chips while I ordered my favourite, the pepper steak. The wine flowed, the food was excellent and I even got some good photos for our last night together. Our evening at Bistro Blue would not have been complete without seeing Selahı get out his huge grinder and pepper Annie’s plate, which made my parents laugh more than it should have. It was a little strange that we had no idea when we would see each other again or even which country it would be in. I’m lucky that I have residency in Turkey until October 2023 but my parents and Captain Caveman are only permitted to stay for 90 days in an 180 day rolling period, which is somewhat restrictive. The residency rules in Turkey have since changed and only 6 months as a maximum is allowed now. After saying bye to Annie and Selahı we had a wander home and, as you can probably imagine, Ma was up for a nightcap. My taxi wasn’t coming until after midnight so we went to Tez bar where I enjoyed another glass of red wine, my parents were on the spirits! Roy, Melanie and Gareth happened to turn up and so I got to say bye to them before I went, still disappointed I hadn’t been able to say bye to Debbie (Darling) or Sue who’d have probably had me crying. On my short walk round the corner I was able to quickly say bye to Jamie too, as he was at Lukka bar. I tried to be brave when I said bye to my parents but I was quite tearful after they had gone. As Fikri arrived to pick me and my cases up, I don’t think it had quite sunk in that I was actually going back to Vietnam and Captain Caveman!
It was my last full day and night in Dalyan on Thursday 2nd June and I wasn’t at all ready to leave. I was obviously looking forward to seeing Captain Caveman again, after 257 days apart, and was keen to find out what he had planned for when I arrived. Captain Caveman is a good planner but a man of very few words so he was keeping anything he did have in mind to himself. He did send me a photo of the place we would be staying at when I landed in Ho Chi Minh City. I was pleased it looked like the monsoon rains there were subsiding a bit and it was mainly happening in the afternoons. Here, in Dalyan, it was a lovely sunny day and definitely bikinis and pool weather. Our complex was full of holiday makers in or around the pool and it was the first time I’d seen it busy. At lunch it was time for my next leaving ‘celebration’ as I’d been invited out to Hotel Dalyance. Angela had organised for us to have a little gathering with Nick, Maddie and Lyndsey as they were unable to make my party that evening. I met them at Casablanca hotel first and had a coke before we wandered round. I was tempted by the chicken and mushroom alfredo but was conscious I needed to not have a reaction to the creamy sauce so I ordered the beef wrap with chips. I was not disappointed as it was delicious and a very generous portion for a lunch time meal. Others did have the pasta dish, Lyndsey had an omelette and everything looked amazing too. I even had a glass of red wine with my food but found I couldn’t manage all of the beef wrap and took a doggy bag home. It was a lovely afternoon and I was going to miss my friends, we were already talking of reunions in September. Just before it was time to say bye, both Maddie and I had bad stomachs, as is often the case with the pair of us, so Nick had to drive Maddie home without me saying farewell. I cycled home but had to take some stomach medication to make sure I was ok for tonight’s excitement. Kate had certainly pulled out all the stops with what she’d organised for my party tonight and I was looking forward to seeing everyone! By 5pm I was not any closer to being packed for my departure to Vietnam. The apartment now looked like a bomb had hit it and there were various half filled boxes all over the place. It was hot and I had a dodgy stomach so I had a little rest and lots of water before setting off for my leaving celebrations. I still had all day tomorrow to sort everything out and get packed – loads of time, what could possibly go wrong!!?
I had to cycle Bluey2 to Kaan’s Tequila boat, the venue for my final leaving party at 6.30pm. Kaan helped me on board as the promenade had not been finished and it was a bit of a to do to access the boats. He was also a bit worried that we had too many people as I think Kate had almost 30 potential attendees at one point. As I got on, one of my friends was stressed and came straight over to me, he had to get off because his wife was at home, quite ill and they couldn’t make it, which was understandable. Sarah arrived and had her dog, Yaps, in tow. Kate is allergic to and not a fan of dogs so then I had to faff about several times taking Yaps off the boat, but she kept getting back on. Yaps didn’t understand when I told her she wasn’t invited, and the boat was already too full for her to come, she just wanted to stay with Sarah. Kate had made one of my favourites, lemon drizzle cake and buns, which she had put on the table for all to share. She had brought my delivery from Trendyol (an online shop) for something that had arrived just in time for Vietnam. Kate had also took the opportunity to invite Shiela to bring her accordion and guests had been encouraged to request some songs for her to play later. I was very happy, who gets a real life accordion player at their leaving do? It was certainly a new first for me and I was so pleased. Mark had kindly taken over dog watch at the back of the boat as he could see I was getting thirsty while we waited for some stragglers! We waited another 10 minutes after the departure time, until 6.40pm, as we were still missing a couple of people who had not shown up yet. As we had only booked Kaan and the Tequila boat for 2 hours, we wanted to make the most of our booze cruise. Kaan’s fridge was so fully stocked with everyone’s preferences that we were certainly on for a great trip. Kaan was much happier that we had only 20 people on board; 4 had cancelled because it was a bit too busy for them, 2 no shows, 2 because of sickness, 1 had to work, and 1 decided to wait in Aşkın’s bar as we would be back by 8.30pm.
Kate and Kaan arranged for us to go to Jimmy’s island, I did a short speech to thank everyone for coming. I confessed I would miss everyone and that I was lucky to have had the chance to have spent so much time with such fantastic people. I was so surprised to see so many come to see me off (or make sure I left). I cut the cake and everyone had a slice or a bun, it was so delicious and perfectly moist. I played waitress for a few minutes, to help Kaan out and to make sure everyone had a full glass as we sailed along the river. Mark told me he had a present for me but he hadn’t wanted to give it to me in front of everyone (oo-er, that would get the gossipers going)! Kate had even suggested it would be more convenient if I could get it tomorrow, at their place, instead and I wondered what it could be. They both signed a card with a cat on to give me and I would keep it in my diary, which Ann bought me (to remind me of Dalyan). Kate had got her play list at the ready and had selected a relaxed stargazing selection which had worked well for her before. Shiela got her accordion out and we went on to sing a variety of songs. It was mainly Kate and I who did the singing but it was good to see Nanny Kay joining in on the ones she knew from singing group. Ma & Pa joined in too and Adam was forced to get involved when it was time for his request. Shiela had been learning ‘Friggin’ in the Riggin” by the Sex Pistols all afternoon and did a pretty excellent job while Adam, some of the men and I gave it our best shot. It was absolutely brilliant, Shiela played lots of great songs and we all loved it. When Mark questioned Kate’s choice of playlist, as Van Morrison crooned ‘Moondance’, she decided to turn it up a notch with her playlist, to party and dance mode.
The drinks flowed and we were positioned in a beautiful location at Jimmy’s island. Adam got off for a wander and found some donkeys and an English caravan club member to occupy him. I’d asked Annie to take some photos which was fortuitous as I either forgot, or took terrible ones. As we danced well past 8.30pm I realised I had a party dress stuffed in my bag, as well as a bikini and a towel which didn’t get used. I managed to change without going to the toilet, not revealing anything inappropriate, and I tried to get as many drunken photos with everyone as I could. I missed a few people out though which was disappointing. Kaan was amazing, and much to my astonishment, didn’t set off back to Dalyan until 10.30pm because no one had given him the instruction to. Of course, I’d had no WiFi while on the boat so the people who had gone to Aşkın’s for 8.30pm had either gone home without seeing me or were a bit peeved when I turned up a lot later than planned. In true leaving party fashion, I was hammered, so were most of us who made it out out! Matt, Mark and Kate were almost as plastered as me and were so funny at Aşkın’s. Adam and Kath were definitely merry on account of none of us having eaten a meal since lunch. Viv’s husband, Paul, was glad to see her and Nanny Kay were back safely and was happy we’d had an incredible time. Jamie was still there and I’m so glad I got to have a hug and a chat before I left, especially as I’d hardly seen him this visit. Even Gareth and Julie were still out with family so I got to say farewell to them too. Debbie (Darling) and Roy had waited as long as they could but I was very disappointed I wouldn’t get to see them one last time. When I went back to join Ma & Pa at the table, Matt was buying a T-shirt and was trying it on – he doesn’t usually do many boat trips so I was impressed and happy he had made it. I even said Vanessa should go away more often as Matt was on top form, being the life and soul of the party a few times. We had more drinks at Aşkın’s then went on to Sofra bar, which I don’t remember an awful lot of. I do remember my parents, Matt and I thinking we were the lasts ones standing at Sofra bar and deciding to go to Sunset bar for a last drink. They set off walking and I went to get my bicycle to ride there. When I arrived they weren’t there and I suspected they had given me the slip, but I still rode back to Sofra to check. Luckily, Davut and Şükrü miss nothing and said they had walked down the left path towards home. Merrily I cycled back to Sunset bar where I had drinks with Annie. We finished the amazing night off with me playing gooseberry and drinking Amaretto until about 3.30am. Good old Bluey2 managed to get me home, somehow unscathed. I didn’t quite appreciate the fact that this would be my last chance to sleep in a bed, until Sunday night in Vietnam.
joloyolo 