Askham, near Penrith – 13th July

Captain Caveman’s cousin, Hugh, was marrying his girlfriend of 10 years, Maddi, on the afternoon of Saturday 13th July at Askham Hall, near Penrith. After a great night’s sleep at White Cottage, Captain Caveman got up to make me a cup of Yorkshire tea and start on breakfast. I was glad of the duvet and extra cover as it had been pretty cold in the night so I was reluctant to get out of bed. After a lovely hot shower, which I had started to get used to them being hot and powerful in England, I went downstairs. Captain Caveman had made a full English for me, him, Ben & Lola and it was lovely. Lola and I chatted about what we were going to wear as neither of us had brought warm clothing and it was cold and a bit rainy outside. Captain Caveman hadn’t told me that the theme was summery or flowery, obviously I had never seen an invite!
Our cosy cottage supplied fleecy tartan blankets on the sofa so Lola read her book under one and I did a couple of hours of work under another. Anna and Captain Caveman’s dad had both said they would be over early to iron their outfits but by 12 noon they hadn’t arrived. I tried on all dresses available to me, including my new ones but in the end, after getting 4 ‘nos’ from Captain Caveman, Ben and Lola, I wore one I had for when I’m in back in Turkey. When The Sprouts did arrive we got a few photos of some of us. I even attempted a family photo outside the cottage despite it drizzling and me shivering a bit. We walked to the venue, it was probably only 15°C and we hoped it didn’t rain too much as none of us had an umbrella.

There was a bit of milling about as we were early and Captain Caveman isn’t good at introducing me to anyone. I sussed out the mother of the groom and said hello, she was wearing a lovely green dress and was with her husband, Paul, who I recognised from Aunty Marge’s funeral. Luckily we got to wish cousin Hugh luck and all the best, just before the ceremony. He looked very smart and my dress matched the pattern on his tie which reassured me I’d fitted the theme, after all.
By 1.55pm we were all waiting for the bride, it was time for the wedding!

I had not yet met Maddi and she looked really stunning as she walked down the aisle. The service went well and was fairly amusing from the quite jocular wedding officiant. We were asked not to take any photos so I managed to make the whole day without taking one photo of the happy couple.
After the ceremony, there was Pimm’s or beer and we were gathered on the garden for a group photo. We also got to chuck rose petal confetti on to the beautiful newlyweds, which was great. I managed to get a few photos of some of the family messing about and everyone was really happy. The canapes and champagne were very nice, then it was time to go back in to the hall for the wedding breakfast and speeches. We all were given a pair of sunglasses with our names on which we popped on as Hugh and Maddi came in to the room to a song from the musical, Greece.

The sit down dinner was lovely, we had a Turkish style köfte with salad and pitta for starters, lamb or veggie option for main and sticky toffee pudding for pud. I don’t like lamb or mashed potatoes so Captain Caveman went to ask if there were any spare veggie mains for me to swap. There was and it’s probably one of the nicest meals I’ve had in a long while; miso flavoured baked aubergine with roasted peppers, edamame beans and broccolini – amazing! The wine was provided too and we toasted lots of very funny speeches. Captain Caveman had chosen well with an extra wedding gift of Vietnamese coffee and phin cups for the happy couple. They both share a massive love of coffee and had even named their guests’ tables after their favourite coffee shops. We were given word puzzles on the table which Captain Caveman was keen to do and I helped. After dinner, we went in to another area for a hot beverage and were given a lovely piece of fudge. Captain Caveman and I continued with the wine from the table and then it was time for the live band. By this time Captain Caveman was flagging a bit as he was still on Vietnamese bed times. At 10pm pizzas were brought out so we had a couple of slices, they were really good. After a couple of glasses of water to try to keep Captain Caveman and I awake, we decided to walk back to White Cottage having had a lovely day.

Photo credit: Captain Caveman and the wedding photographer

London to Penrith – 12th July

On Friday 12th July the Turkish lira was now up to 42.7 to the pound, the highest I’d known it. We had to strip our bed and put fresh bedding on as Captain Caveman’s middle brother and his niece would be coming back down to London with their parents after the wedding weekend. Captain Caveman and I had a bit of an adventure planned until he returned next Friday. Captain Caveman ended up with feathers all over from the pillows and then was sneezing. I picked them all up by hand as best I could and then we packed our stuff for the long drive from London to Penrith. Breakfast was another family affair where I had tea, toast and cereal. Captain Caveman made sandwiches for the journey and the parents car set off before The Sprouts. I took a travel sickness pill, the expensive ones and I didn’t see anything until I woke up near the Birmingham toll. We had a stop at the services along the way and we ate our butties outside.
When we eventually arrived in Penrith Captain Caveman and I were dropped off at White Cottage in Askham, where we were staying with Ben and Lola. Captain Caveman’s parents were staying at the Punch Bowl pub nearby and The Sprouts were staying at an Airbnb in Penrith.
That evening, all 11 of us dined at The Punch Bowl together and the food was extremely good. I had steak pie with chips, gravy and extra veg instead of peas. I also had a pint of cider and 2 glasses of red wine. A few people had desserts but Captain Caveman and I shared a lovely cheese board. I was already on 195 syns for the week and we had the wedding tomorrow plus an extra night in Askham for Captain Caveman and I. I was quite glad that there were no scales around.

Dalyan & Köyceğiz – 4th & 5th July

By the time I woke up on Thursday 4th July, my parents had already left for the airport so I didn’t get to go and wave them off. Ordinarily, this would not have happened but given that I would see them in 13 days time none of us were upset about it. I had tea and toast for breakfast then got my stuff packed to move accommodation. I worked in the morning and then ate the rest of the blueberries for lunch, sharing them with Norman and Edna. Blueberries are meant to be good for dogs so Edna wolfed them down, Norman was yet to be convinced. I left some stuff at Jamie’s, including my laptop, as I was off on a moonlight boat trip that afternoon. It was another one of the ‘Ladies only’ ones that I had helped to organise with a friend. We boarded Captain Fuat’s Adil boat around 4pm, bound for Köyceğiz. As we were setting off, one of the ladies went to the shop with the Captain to buy a last minute purchase and then it was time to go. Captain Fuat shared some fruits from his garden, the fresh figs were amazing, as well as a delicious cake made my his daughter.
We had a mooch around Köyceğiz where I tried on a dress for a forthcoming wedding in Penrith. It was a nicely fitting, off the shoulder, green and flowery number but I noticed it was coming apart at the seams a little. It was also 1200 lira (£28.92) so I decided it was out of my budget. We all left the shop and I was the last one to go, as I was leaving the older lady of the shop started to turn angry with me and accused me of ripping the poorly sewn garment. I walked out without saying anything and decided I wouldn’t be going in that shop again.
Back on the boat, we had a very lovely evening with more excellent food including hot chips after our first swim stop, courgette fritters and chicken nuggets to nibble on before dinner. One of the ladies had sold her parents’ house and wanted to share with us her good news so she had bought a couple of bottles of fizz for us all. I had a couple of glasses of rosé wine with a couple of the other ladies but I noticed most of the women weren’t drinking much, if at all – it was very civilised.
Not everyone swam but a friend and I went a few times round the boat and the sunset was amazing. We had a delicious tomato based soup as a starter and then the main course which was a mixture of dishes to accommodate meat eaters and vegetarians. I really enjoyed it and the evening was finished off with fizz/rosé and stargazing which was very relaxing.
We didn’t get back until almost midnight after what had been an amazing moonlight boat trip. The cost was £30 (1,250 lira) and Captain Fuat always looks after us very well.

I was up very early on Friday 5th July as I needed to walk over to Jamie’s to say bye to Drew, Nick and Mark before work. They were off back to the UK after a lovely holiday/stay. I called at Migros to buy a thank you bottle of wine for Jamie and I grabbed some noodles which were on offer. I spent just 337.90 lira (£8.10) and I even got Angora wine for that. I needed to get my laptop and a few things I’d not taken on the boat with me last night. It was only 24°C at 7am but there was an excessive heat weather warning for later and I also wanted to check Captain Caveman’s apartment complex again. I had been told by the pool and maintenance bloke that they had worked there this morning so I was going to inspect. When I arrived, it was less than satisfactory and obvious that no one had been that morning, or even in the last few days. Dead plants, dried leaves and generally weeds needing sorting which were easy and obvious jobs. I wasn’t happy and I messaged the maintenance man, who once again told me that they had been this morning. He blamed it on not having a hose and that there was nothing he could do as all 10 apartments needed to give him money for a hose. I told him to go buy one and I would pay and I didn’t hear back, only to say he had ordered one. I checked on Trendyol and the most expensive one was not more than 2000 lira (£47.96) and I just wanted the place clean and tidy for our guests – it was proving far too much to ask for. I sent the pool and garden man photos as I was stood there and he said that he also had photos from his brother and that it didn’t look the same – how dare they call me a liar! I suspected his workers were either tired, lazy or lying and so he promised me he would personally check every day – he had already promised this several times so I didn’t hold my breath! I also let the rental agent know but she was on holiday and the guy left in charge wasn’t able to get through to the maintenance company either. It was a joke and I really wished we’d never agreed to rent the place out. The ironic thing is that Captain Caveman and I had never agreed to this maintenance company but we had been told we were outvoted. The Aussies downstairs had not experienced any complaints from their tenants (of which they had several different customers) so it was unfortunate that only my tenants were being affected.
Because of all the faffing about, I wasn’t back ‘in the office’ until 11am, having picked up a bottle of water and a couple of simits for a bargain total of 31 lira (74p).
I worked all day then had a video chat with Captain Caveman, he was flying from Dong Hoi to Saigon tomorrow to start his journey back to the UK for his holiday.
In the evening I headed to the tea gardens for dinner with my my new house mate. We had sandwiches and soft drinks followed by an ice-cream for a total of 400 lira (£9.64). The place was very busy but there was a lovely breeze and the staff were very efficient. We went back home and arranged to get up early to go to Ortaca before work tomorrow.

Dalyan – 3rd July

Wednesday 3rd July was a lovely day for me in Dalyan. Jamie and the boys were still celebrating Mark’s birthday so I gave the dogs their breakfast and made sure they had their wees and poos before it got too hot. I also took my measurements in readiness for weigh-in at Fat Club this afternoon. I had put 5cm on my waist and hips but there was no change to my bust. This was not good news and would definitely mean I had put weight on too. I had strawberries, olives and a simit for breakfast then cracked on with some work on the patio. Midmorning I popped to the shops for some essentials;

Migros Supermarket
Quark 29.95
Skimmed milk 37.95
Soda water 40.00
Total spent 107.90 lira (£2.60)

I called at the bank to deposit cash (English and Lira) so that my total amount was met for July in regard to the residency rules. I worked more until it was time to face Carol’s scales at Fat Club. After 17 weeks away and without my own kitchen I knew I should not expect miracles but I was certainly hoping I’d managed not to put too much weight back on.
I was pleased to see I had only put 0.1kg (0.2lb) on since last week and just a total of 1.4kg (3lb) in the time I’d been away from Dalyan. My last Dalyan Fat Club weigh-in had been at the beginning of March and now I was just 2.1kg (4.6lb) over my target. That wasn’t too bad, although I was off to the UK in 5 days time so I couldn’t see it being easy to stick to the plan there.
At Jamie’s, the guys were back and we were booked in to celebrate Mark’s birthday with a fancy meal out at Le Bohème that evening. I had to close up my outdoor office as the wine was being poured and the guys were having a dip in the pool. Nanny Kay and Hannah joined us at the villa for a cheeky pre dinner drink. When we arrived at the venue, there was a lady outside having some sort of allergic reaction which Mark and Hannah went to help with while ex nurse Nanny Kay and I swerved the situation and went on inside.

Le Bohème was very nice and we had a lovely table where Emma and Yusuf were already waiting for us. We shared the beautifully presented mixed mezes for a starter and had some white wine between a few of us. For main I chose the chicken with halloumi, spinach and potatoes and it was really tasty. I was thoroughly impressed with all the food, the service and the ambience of Le Bohème. I think my share of the meal came to about 1600 lira (£38.55), including thirds on 2 bottles of good wine. It was more expensive than where I usually eat but not extortionate for what we had and I would certainly recommend for a special occasion or treat. After the meal some of us went to Aşkın’s bar for another drink and to round off the lovely evening. A round of 3 drinks came to a reasonable 450 lira (£10.84) and is definitely one of our go-to bars.
Back ‘home’, I was meant to set my alarm for tomorrow as my parents were leaving for the airport at 7am.

Photo credit – Jamie/Nick

Dalyan – 1st & 2nd July

On Monday 1st July I did some work first thing and then joined my parents, Adam, Kath & Kate on the yellow boat trip to Köyceğiz. Like an idiot, I forgot to take my phone so there were no photos of the day out. Kate and I headed to the market as soon as we got there while everyone else went for a drink. I bought what I would have got from the market in Dalyan on Saturday, if I’d not missed it; strawberries and a bit of veg. At Carrefour, I bought 2 bottles of Prosecco for 720.05 Lira (£17.35) ready for tonight as Jamie and the boys had invited me, and Nanny Kay, for dinner again. For lunch we all ate at Tuana where I had a chicken burger and some lemon soda as I didn’t fancy alcohol, for a change.
I nipped to the supermarket on my way back for some treats for the house and bought the following, prices in Turkish Lira;

Migros Supermarket
1 plastic bag 0.25
Tutku biscuits 30.00
Plain crisps 35.00
Blueberries 49.95
Chocolate brownies 65.00
Chocolate Dido bars 75.20
Frozen raspberries 107.95
Total spent 363.75 Lira (£8.77)

We had a lovely chilled out evening at Jamie and Drew’s, with lots of laughs and a very tasty chicken salad for dinner. Drew’s homemade croutons were definitely a hit, Nanny Kay’s chocolate brownie with jelly was so good and I really enjoyed the meal.

I woke up early on Tuesday 2nd July and had tea and toast for breakfast. Tomorrow was weigh day and I’d completely gone off track this week with the food and booze. Jamie and the boys were off on a trip for Mark’s birthday, just local, but I was going to spend the day with Norman and Edna. I did some washing and then got on with some work. Edna wanted to help send some emails and got on my knee to get nearer the laptop. By 9am I was in the newly kitted out köşk enjoying the fresh air while I worked. I saw an unusual critter on the table and the temperature shot up to 35°C in the shade.
In the afternoon, I attempted to arrange to meet up with our elusive pool and garden man but, unsurprisingly, he wasn’t forthcoming. Our tenants were arriving again in a few days and I was concerned that Captain Caveman’s apartment complex still looked a mess and it was getting very frustrating.
I worked some more in the afternoon and in the evening I was meeting my parents for our last meal in Dalyan. They were off to Göcek tomorrow with their friends so I needed to say bye to them tonight. They would fly back to England on Thursday morning but I would see them in Sheffield in July.

After feeding the dogs and watching Norman confidently patrol the property perimeter, I went to call for Ma & Pa. I still needed to see Sonuç to pay hım the £30 (or 1200 lira) that I owed him for the airport pick up when I arrived, so I popped over to his new office. It was very smart and looked good. Our next stop was for a cheeky drink in Cafe Ivy where they do a nice white wine at a reasonable price.
For dinner we decided to try Sea Breeze, as we know the owner, Suha, from when he was a waiter at Bistro Blue restaurant. It was the day of a football game that we wanted to avoid so it looked like a nice quiet place to eat. An older waiter took our order and we decided not to have starters. We ordered a bottle of house red wine which was 750 lira (£18) for the cheapest Buzbağ brand. We got a bottle of water to share for 80 lira (£1.93) and we all had a steak. My parents had onion steaks, I had a blue cheese steak and the price was 850 lira (£20.48) each. When it was served, it was presented on wooden boards which I really don’t like so I asked for a spare plate and transferred it over. It’s very common in Dalyan to serve meals on wooden boards but I find it not only looks bad, it’s unhygienic and impractical, especially if having a sauce. This was evidently not the cheapest place in town but the food quality and taste was excellent. We all really enjoyed our dinner but I felt a bit uneasy about the waiter and wondered if he regularly worked there. He asked us to put a review on Trip Advisor before we’d finished and, when he cleared the plates, he ate a leftover vegetable from Dad’s plate. This was the first time this had happened to me ever in any restaurant and it did take me by surprise. I usually do leave reviews but this then put me off doing one and I haven’t bothered. I paid the 3,380 lira (£81.45) on my credit card and Ma gave me cash so I could continue to add money to my Turkish account to keep up the residency requirements. I didn’t think £27 each for a decent meal was too bad and it did include a free appetiser of olives, warm bread and dips. I wanted to get back for Norman and Edna so I invited my parents over for a nightcap. We went to Yaman Büfe off licence on the way and bought a bottle of red and a bottle of white wine for just 590 lira (£14.22) – and we splashed out on Angora. Dad and I shared the red, Mom had some of the white while we had to pretend to give Edna red. I was giving her water from a glass behind my red wine but when she realised we were hoodwinking her, she wasn’t too happy.
It was gone 11.30pm when my parents left and we said goodbye – Norman had already fell asleep but Edna came to say farewell, unaware she wouldn’t see them again until September.

Dalyan – 28th June

On Friday 28th June my parents and I had quite an adventure. Ma & Pa had booked the 3 of us on a Captain Boris boat trip for the day and I was so looking forward to it. I woke up at 6am feeling happy to have the temperature cooler than I was used to in Vietnam. By 8am it was still under 30°C outside but it was definitely getting hotter as I left for our day on the boat. Captain Boris is one of the more luxurious boat trips with exceptional food, hosted by the lovely Rebecca & Basrı. The cost was £40 per person and included a massive lunch with lots of different dishes. Rebecca was a bit miffed that they had 2 lots of bookings today and she had to go on the second boat, leaving 16 of us in the safe hands of Basrı and Anıl.
We headed out to sea and, although there were parts where the sandbanks were high, we got through. The sea was very rough and I was glad I’d taken a precautionary sea sickness tablet, as did one other passenger. After we got to a nice calm bay we had a swim stop and there were crisps and dips to help ourselves to. A BBQ and full buffet (including prawns) was served for lunch just after 1pm and it was absolutely amazing. The prawns and the chicken casserole were definitely my 2 favourite dishes. Ma & Pa stuck to beers but I had rose wine and we were all having a great time with a fantastic bunch of random people.
Just before 3pm, there was a bit of a disaster when something happened to the engine and the Captain instantly called May Day on the walkie talkie. I looked over the side and there seemed to be a fire or something causing a lot of smoke – it didn’t look good and we were out at sea in very choppy waves.

The food was fantastic

Short video of the boat

Captain Boris had to arrange for us to be rescued from our boat trip after we tried to get a tow but the waves were strong and Basrı needed to get out weight off this boat. Already he had neighbouring boats helping, including Princess of Ekincik who we were on last night and a cooperative, smaller boat. It became essential that we were going to have to climb over from our boat to the rescue one while bobbing about. I started to feel a bit worried for my parents; my mom has a dodgy leg and my Dad’s eyesight isn’t great. To be honest, I wasn’t sure my balancing skills stretched to straggling 2 boats of different heights while at sea. It was a bit of a to-do but we all made it – with all our bags! Boris and Anıl kept calm and efficient during the mini crisis and they got us all on to the cooperative boat safely.
We got took off to the beach to wait for Captain Boris to get sorted out but unfortunately, we had forgotten to bring our shoes. Ma braved a walk to the toilet on the beach but the floor was red hot so I didn’t attempt it. By 5pm we had been rescued and were back on Boris’s Boat, the way we had got on but in less choppy waters. We saw yellow boat and also another Captain, Simon, who came by paddle board to say hello. We got towed to Magic Lake and Basrı insisted on a free bar to apologise and, of course, Dad and I made good use of this to help encourage other guests (a couple were first timers). We were meant to be back by 5pm but it was more like 6.45pm when we got off the boat. My Dad was on a mission to carry on the night but my Mom was insisting he’d had enough so we all went home.

Of course, Dalyan wouldn’t be Dalyan without a bit of drama and it turned out neither my parents nor I would stay in that evening. When I arrived back at Jamie’s, the 4 fellas (Jamie, Drew, Nick & Mark) were waiting for me to join them for a drink at Lukka bar. It was their Friday music bingo night and the boys were booked in for food. My parents had a shower and Dad decided they were going to meet up with other Dalyan Dwellers in Tapa and Tez bars.
After a shower and change for me, I joined the guys for Lukka music bingo and it was brilliant. I had some cheesy chips and some wine, to see me through, I had a good boogie and a sing to the first half of the bingo. At the interval, Jamie had decided we were moving on to Sofra bar to enjoy the rest of the night but Mark and I decided to stay a bit longer to hear Joseph sing Sweet Dreams and have a sing-along to the start of the second half.
At Sofra bar the rest of the gang had met up with some of the regular characters and were having a good time. I nursed a pint of beer for the rest of the evening as I’d overdone it but I managed to have a go on the karaoke and probably did a bad Adele or something. I bumped in to Jack, Stan and Nigel and I enjoyed watching Jack perform one of my old favourites, Psycho Killer. It was gone 1am when we finally went home and it was a good job I was working flexible hours for tomorrow.

I love a bit of Psycho Killer

Dalyan – 27th June

On the morning of Thursday 27th June, I didn’t get out of bed until 8am Turkish time, but that was midday in Vietnamese time. By 10am I had set myself up for a working day at Books & Cookies, not far from where Captain Caveman’s apartment is located. It had AC, was very quiet for using it as an office, and had good Turkish tea. I treated myself to a savoury pastry for breakfast and got on with my tasks. By 1pm, I was peckish so I had a linden tea with some delicious homemade cookies. The owner was really lovely and we had a little chat. My bill came to 360 lira (£8.67) which I thought was reasonable.

By 3pm it was hot outside as I ventured to the bank. I needed to ensure I was depositing at least 26,000 lira (£627 at today’s rate of 41.5 lira to the pound), in order to keep my Turkish residency. On my way back ‘home’ to Jamie’s, I called in to see my parents who were on their balcony, and we had an Efes shandy.
In the evening, I had booked the 3 of us on a moonlight boat trip with Princess of Ekincik. It was £30 each and included a BBQ dinner with a few swim stops in the lake and the sea. On our way to the boat my parents and I called in to check out the complex at Captain Caveman’s place to check the pool and grounds. The pool looked fine but there was no sign of any gardening company having removed old leaves or swept the floors in a while. The floor had not been sloshed down with water recently either so, I was disappointed with our pool and garden company.

On the boat we said hello to the other customers and got comfy as we sailed to Köyceğiz lake. A small Efes beer was 100 lira (£2.41) and a glass of wine was 150 lira (£3.61) which was more than what it was 4 months ago but prices and taxes had gone up a lot. To start, Ma & Pa had beers while I had a rosé wine to try it out and we had our first swim stop at just after 7pm. Our BBQ food was as amazing as I remember it being and Ismail cooked us a feast. A bottle of white wine was purchased to have with our dinner and, as I was a bit jetlagged, I felt quite tiddly.
The boat trip was amazing and we all really enjoyed it, it was past 11pm when we got back.

İstanbul to Dalyan – 26th June

My flight from Bangkok to Istanbul on Wednesday 26th June arrived 40 minutes early. I’d purposely not booked an earlier flight in case of delays, so now I had even longer to wait until my flight to Dalaman. Before 5am it was a very chilly 17°C and I was feeling the cold in the airport, even with jeggings and a fleece on. I retrieved my luggage and had a faff about with the trolleys which you have to pay for. My flight wasn’t until 12.15pm and I was feeling a bit jetlagged. I logged in to the free WiFi, which was easy to get at a kiosk using my passport, and let people know I was on track. I’d booked Sonuç to pick me up from the airport and he messaged to check all was as planned.
At the terminal in Istanbul airport, I checked if I could drop off my bags earlier and to my delight it could all be done on the self service machines. I weighed my 2 hold cases which had lost 1kg since Saigon and were now 17kg and 7kg. Due to my tiredness, I completely forgot to take my laptop out of one of them and then proceeded to worry my case would get lost.
My next bit of good luck was when I decided to go to the lounge, which I had booked for 2 hours before my flight. It was before 8am so I explained I was early and they checked to see if there was space on the 09:55 flight. It was already full so they told me I could still enter the lounge until my flight and didn’t seem to care I would be there for 4 hours. There is no alcohol in the Turkish Airlines lounge but it was breakfast time and I was really hungry. I’d been given a spicy dish on the plane which I couldn’t eat and the breakfast meal was omelette which I didn’t eat either.
I got myself cherry juice, Turkish tea, herbal tea, water, croissants, pastries, bagels, cheese and olives and tucked in while using the free WiFi.
The call to board came at 11.40am and the bus was directly from the lounge and half empty. I had chosen an aisle seat and we even got given a chicken sandwich and a water on the 80 minute flight.
I arrived on time in to Dalaman and didn’t have to wait too long for my luggage, where I was glad to see my laptop had made it.
Sonuç was waiting for me and carried the luggage, had water for me in the car and we drove safely to Jamie and Drew’s new villa. I had planned to stay there for a week or so and it was really kind of him as he also had other guests visiting.
I was so hungover that I don’t remember much about that afternoon apart from seeing Norman and Edna, Jamie’s dogs, who seemed to be pleased to see me. The villa was gorgeous and I had a lovely twin room with an ensuite which I couldn’t wait to go to sleep in.
I’d made it just in time for Fat Club but, unfortunately, it was cancelled this week. I had no idea about my weight but I did take my measurements after a much needed shower;
Bust no change,
Waist +1cm,
Hips -1cm.
I had a glass of wine with Jamie, Drew and their house guests, Nick & Mark, before heading over to see my parents, who I hadn’t seen since January. The weather was nice and warm but definitely cooler than Phong Nha.

That evening, we had our first meal together at Duble, one of our favourites. We all had the chicken soup as it’s so good, then I had a chicken shish, Mom had fish and Dad had a chicken casserole. Ma & Pa had beers but I stuck to soda water and we had 2 lots of fresh bread. The whole bill came to 1,720 lira (£41.25) which worked out less than £14 for a starter and a main plus drink and a free shot each. I’d expected prices to be worse given the moaning I’d read on Facebook so I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t a late one as I had work to do tomorrow and I was desperate for sleep.

Danang – 24th June

Ordinarily when I leave Vietnam to go back to Turkey, I have to wait a while to see Captain Caveman again. Not this year, Monday 24th June might have been our last full day together but only for 14 days! We were lucky enough to be getting to visit the UK in the middle of the caving season and we were both looking forward to a family wedding, among other things.
We went to ByC for breakfast and it was really beautiful. I ordered a pot of earl grey tea and a pancake with bacon, Captain Caveman had an iced black coffee and a şakşuka. Both were amazing and, even though I was full, I didn’t want to leave any. Our bill came to just 415,000VND (£12.95) for the 2 of us.

On the way back to the hotel we bought a 1.5l bottle of water for 14,000VND (44p). I worked until lunch time and Captain Caveman played Bridge on his phone.
At 1pm we met an old friend from Phong Nha who now lives in Danang. We hadn’t seen Diana for a while so it was good to meet at Vietnom Eatery where the staff are deaf. Captain Caveman had a coffee and a bao bun and I had a My Quang style dish with a watermelon juice, both of our meals were rather tasty. Captain Caveman paid the bill of 240,000VND (£7.50) which was very good good value. We had a good but too brief a catch up and then it was back to work for Diana and I.

That evening, we had been invited to join June and Steve at Happy Buffalo in Hoi An but I wasn’t feeling too lively. I didn’t want to ruin my long journey tomorrow so we decided not to go. I still needed a new laptop bag so we found a phone shop and bought one for 150,000VND (£4.69).
We couldn’t be bothered to go too far for dinner so we ate at nearby Pizza 4Ps. We both had a cider and brie to start, which we order every time we visit. Captain Caveman ordered a breakfast pizza which had cheese, spinach and eggs on it while I tried to go healthier with a Spaghetti Bolognese topped with a burrata. Captain Caveman had a second cider, without the cheese, but I’d had enough alcohol yesterday. Our bill came to 769,800VND (£23.89) including VAT, which wasn’t bad.
It wasn’t a late one as my flight from Danang was tomorrow morning at 9.10am and I needed an early night. We ate mangosteen when we got back and I was sad to be leaving Vietnam.

Danang – 23rd June

The Sunday Brunch at Citron restaurant, Intercontinental, on the Son Tra Peninsula in Danang was booked for 12.30pm on Sunday 23rd June. It’s one of our favourite food experiences when we are in Vietnam and is a real treat. Captain Caveman had been working hard but had caught up on his sleep ready for today’s feast.
We arrived by Grab taxi just before 12.30pm and took a seat outside. I tried to get some good photos of us but it never works out well. Captain Caveman is not a fan of taking excessive photos and we agreed that I wouldn’t take photos of my food this time. Inside, we were seated and given a glass of the Billecart Salmon champagne. It retails at about £50 a bottle and we certainly get our money’s worth. The brunch lasts for 3 hours and is a buffet style where you can help yourself to so much seafood, sushi, salads, charcuterie, cheese as well as ask the chefs to prepare meat, prawns, pasta and fois gras. The cost is 3,199,000VND (£98.74) each plus tax/VAT but we were given a 20% discount. The service is always impeccable, the food delicious and there is good music and a spacious dining area. I kept my word and didn’t take any food photos or selfies while dining but I remember what I ate; I started with prawns to go with my champagne while Captain Caveman sampled the sushi. I had a mix of salt and pepper with a squeeze of lime juice to make a paste to dip my prawns in. They were delicious so I had some more and a little of the prawn sushi. I had a bit of the salad to make it healthier and more champagne while Captain Caveman had lobster and oysters. I went on to the lobster and couldn’t help myself get 2 more portions, as my champers got topped up. Next, I went on to cooked prawns in a garlic butter with some steak but I skipped the carbs for salad with chickpeas and lentils in. After a few more champagnes we went on to red wine to go with the steak, more was ordered and Captain Caveman was on the fois gras while I went back to lobster and steak with a couple of bits of pork. I didn’t have potatoes or pasta this time as I didn’t want to fill up too quickly. I also left plenty of room and time for the cheese, charcuterie and fruit. I snuck in a cheeky Cosmopolitan and dodged the desserts but that cheese board with only a couple of bits of bread was truly amazing! More red wine was had and back to the champagne for final drinks, of which we had a couple of top ups and we were stuffed.
By 5.20pm I was in bed and didn’t get back up that day.

Photo credit – some photos by Captain Caveman

Danang – 22nd June

Captain Caveman was due to arrive at Danang train station on Saturday 22nd June at 6.06am. He also was delayed a little but by 8.30am we were off in search of a launderette and some breakfast. Captain Caveman dropped our washing off and was told to pick it up in the morning, we then got a Grab taxi to Lighthouse in Son Tra. It was pretty plush and I was starving so here’s what we had, prices in Dong;

1 Jasmine tea 70,000
1 Double Espresso 80,000
1 Eggs Benedict 125,000
1 Big Breakfast 150,000
Total 425,000VND (£13.16)

The food was fantastic and I felt super full but I didn’t feel too well after and needed the toilet urgently. I have a feeling that hash browns on the same meal as toast, doesn’t agree with my stomach.

There was a weather warning so we stayed in the AC room for the afternoon and I did some work while Captain Caveman played Bridge then fell asleep. I booked my flight from Istanbul for next week which included a snack, 25kg hold luggage, a specific seat and the Turkish Airlines lounge for about £80.
In the evening we popped out to a Heart of Darkness beer place where I inadvertently ordered a lemongrass and coriander beer. It turned out to be really nice and we shared some salted edamame beans which I loved. For just 105,000VND (£3.25) for a pint of Belgian wheat beer in Vietnam, we decided to have another before walking to a restaurant.

Maazi is a lovely Indian restaurant which also has restaurants in Hanoi, Hoi An, Matlock and Hathersage. How fantastic, and we spoke about this to the manager, Rohit Chandra. We were peckish as hadn’t eaten any lunch so we really went for it. Here’s what we ordered, prices in Dong;

1 steamed rice 40,000
1 garlic naan bread 45,000
1 Vegetable Samosas 60,000
1 Pani Puri 60,000
1 Tandoori chicken 80,000
1 Masala Dosa 129,000
1 Butter Chicken 139,000
2 Kingfisher beers 200,000
Total with tax 817,240VND (£25.30)

It was so lovely and we really enjoyed it before hurrying back, via the cash machine, to watch a firework display.

Those Pani Puri were amazing

I’m not a fan of fireworks so Captain Caveman was a bit disappointed that I would rather watch them from indoors, even though there was a bridge and a place to view them better from. As we were near our hotel, it started to rain so we went inside and tried to watch fireworks from the window. Captain Caveman lasted a few minutes before laying on the bed and then instantly falling asleep and snoring loudly for far too long. I watched all the fireworks even after the spectators on the bridge started leaving because of the rain. Tomorrow we had something special planned and I was really looking forward to it.

As the rain came, the crowds tried to find shelter

Fireworks from our hotel room

Phong Nha & Dong Hoi – 20th June

I woke up to my alarm at 6.30am on Thursday 20th June and got on with my packing. I had already started it and had separate piles based on final destination of each item. This was confusing but I was on it and needed to be done by 8.30am as I was booked in to have my hair done. During the night, Hoan had taken a bus from Xa Lai to Phong Nha and had arrived early this morning. She was back for the Phong Nha Vegan buffet and to see me off. She had already asked Chung to delay me so that I could eat a last lunch at the Vegan before my taxi to Dong Hoi.
I had a lot to thank Chung, Hoan and the girls from the Vegan for, so I agreed. It was down to them that I was leaving Phong Nha only 1.3 kg (2.9lb) heavier than when I arrived in March and I was grateful for all the amazing food I’d eaten because of them. I was only 1cm over my hip and waist target measurements, which I was pleased with. I still wasn’t a vegan convert but I was definitely a strong advocate of vegan dishes and eating less meat. These girls had become such good friends, especially since I’d become the only female Western woman living in town.
Once I’d finished packing, I took photos of each bag and started to move them to the Glass House, ready for Captain Caveman to do his thing with them tomorrow. I took my motorbike helmet, 3 bags and a rather heavy suitcase (with a patched up wheel) the few hundred meters to the house. By 8am, I was walking back to Son River House Homestay and it was incredibly hot and sunny. It was not the best day to have a hair appointment and an all you can eat vegan buffet but, I soldiered on. Chung moved the taxi from 11am to 1pm and we called ‘Onion’ to check she was definitely there today. I wasn’t bothered if she cancelled now as it meant I could go back to bed but she was going to meet me there. I let Chung know I was all packed and brought my bags down to reception. As is usual in Vietnam, when a friend goes away, she saw my full bags and gave me 4 packets of Banh Ep, a fragile pork, shrimp and spring onion cracker type product, to take with me. She had even had her ex boyfriend put them on the bus from Hue for her as she knows how much I like them. How sweet!

Once at the hairdresser’s, she cut my dry hair first while I sat in front of a fan. I was not entirely optimistic it would turn out well but the heat meant I barely cared about anything else but staying alive. Just 1 hour 15 minutes later I had the hair dye on and was told to wait an unknown amount of time for it to take. Next I got a hair wash, conditioner, face, head and shoulder massage and the blow dry I’d said I didn’t need in this heat. Onion was having none of me walking out of her establishment with wet hair! By 10.30am I was finished and my hair looked good.
I headed back to check-out, where Chung had prepared our bill for the 9 day stay at Son River House Homestay. Captain Caveman was going to pay the 3,352,000VND (£101.79) by bank transfer when he returned from the cave. This included 400,000VND (£12.15) for the meal last night which was absolutely delicious. We did get a friend’s discount which was much appreciated and I would definitely stay there again.

Our next stop was the Phong Nha Vegan which was amazing for my last buffet and farewell to everyone. I sat with Kim and her daughter while trying to get a blast of the cooler which was set to 39°C. The food was so good and plentiful but it was so hot I could barely take the heat. Kim recommended I try different dishes which was really nice and we even arranged for me to visit her in Saigon in a few days time. Back at the homestay, I said my goodbyes and Hoan arrived to give me going away gifts of a knitted mobile phone case, some sweets and a big bag of mangosteen. In the end, Chung moved my taxi for Dong Hoi to pick me up at 1.45pm as we were running late, and she promised to take Bluey over to the Glass House tomorrow. It was a sad, sweaty goodbye as I got in to the car and drove through Phong Nha with tears in my eyes.

The drive from Phong Nha to Dong Hoi on that afternoon was comfortable and cool. It took about 45 minutes and cost me 500,000VND (£15.26). The Minh Quang Hotel had already been booked up but the owner had very kindly recommended the Dolphin hotel as a nearby and suitable alternative. It was only 280,000VND (£8.54) per night and located really close to Tree Hugger. The driver couldn’t find it at first but once I was checked in and was in the room, I realised why it was called the Dolphin Hotel. It was located bang opposite the Dolphin statue on the river front. The lady who checked me in was really lovely and the room had the best display of tourist information, I’ve seen in a while. Unfortunately, it was a little wasted on me as I was only there until very early in the morning. I had a shower and a little rest, plus a bit of a repack to get the gifts in, before going out for a stroll.

I called in at Tree Hugger where I had a mint and lime iced drink and some veggie spring rolls while admiring the view with a fan on. It was really lovely and cost just 90,000VND (£2.75) which was definitely good value.

In the evening, I met up with Jack, Stu’s youngest son, for a last leaving drink and meal at Oregano. We drank a Huda beer, ate potato wedges and a Bolognese pizza, which we shared. We had 2 video calls with Stu who was in Ha Tinh doing a summer teaching job and was disappointed he couldn’t join us. The food, as always, was excellent and I’d learned they had wedges on the menu. I couldn’t eat it all so I took a couple of slices of pizza with me and Jack dropped me off at Dolphin Hotel on his way home. The cost of dinner for both of us was a very reasonable 250,000VND (£7.64).
Back at Dolphin, I finished the half bottle of red wine I’d brought with me, from last night, and got ready for bed. My alarm was set for early tomorrow morning as I was getting the train to Danang.

Phong Nha – 19th June

Wednesday 19th June was not only weigh day, but it was my last full day and night in Phong Nha. I had arrived in Vietnam 15 weeks ago and would be leaving after 4 months in the country, longer than I’d expected. I was up early so that I could be ready for an appointment before work and I did my measurements. My bust was the same as the previous week, I’d lost 1cm from my waist but had put 1cm on my hips. I made a note to get weighed later when I went to the vegan.
I cycled down to see ‘Onion’ the hairdresser as Captain Caveman had booked me in for a cut and dye at 8.30am. She is actually called Nghien but it’s kind of pronounced like onion and that’s what a couple of the older cavers had called her. When I arrived, it was already getting hot, there was no sign of her. I bumped in to a young girl who was wearing sunglasses, a mask and a hooded long sleeved coat. This ninja-looking female spoke a little English and told me her mom was in town having coffee with friends. I’d also messaged her to say I was there but the reply came to the daughter to return at midday. There was no way I could take the midday heat while being in the hairdresser’s building so I asked for the same time tomorrow. The daughter didn’t understand so I just left and said I would message. Tomorrow I was leaving to go to Dong Hoi before lunch so that might be a bit of a squeeze, anyway.
Disappointed, I cycled down towards The Villas and as I arrived Onion turned up saying I could cycle back to the hairdresser’s. By this time I’d already rescheduled my work and confirmed lunch with a friend. We agreed on tomorrow at 8.30am so I would just have to get up early.
I worked from The Villas for the rest of the morning and drank a lot of water as the AC wasn’t on yet. At lunch time I logged off as I had invited Khanh Linh to join me for a catch up. We shared a Momma D’s pizza and a garden salad which was very filling. A member of staff popped the AC on and looked confused as to why it wasn’t already on. I had to try the Pina Colada as it was 50% off those on Wednesdays. It was very nice and I had a lovely time with Khanh Linh, who bought me a gift of a pair of jelly shoes. When I tried them on I was surprised to find they fit very well, too. Khanh Linh, who works at Jungle Boss, had to get back to work and it was very hot and humid outside.
I also went back to work but finished before 5pm so that I could hurry back to Son River House Homestay for a shower. The plan was to be back at The Villas to meet anyone who was coming to help me celebrate my last night.

When I got back to the homestay, I decided to chance a full shower with a hair wash – this was a mistake. I was lathered up like a soapy meringue when the water went off! It took a while to get all the bubbles off me and, of course, Vietnamese hotel towels are rather small. I was 10 minutes late to my own leaving party and Chung, who was going to give me a lift, was busy so I cycled back down. René was already there and was a bit concerned he was going to miss me as he had guests back at Greenfield Ecostay who he had to get back to. Ngan, his wife, was in Hanoi and couldn’t join us. René had a drink with me and then left with arrangements to come back if work allowed. Maxime and his 2 daughters joined us, then Bich and Luc came for a drink and food and it was so lovely to catch up. I had also arranged to have a drink and some food at Son River House Homestay with Chung and Uy. It was also their 7 year anniversary. Manu from Victory Road Villas and the girls from Phong Nha Vegan were also meant to be coming to join the small party.
Manu saw René drive past on a motorbike so I cycled back after paying my 1,200,000VND (£36.45). This included breakfast, lunch for 2 of us, 2 smoothies, 4 cocktails and a bottle of red wine to take away.
Back at the homestay, I arrived to an empty seat where René must have been sat, a fresh beer with ice and a 100,000VND (£3) note under the glass as payment. He had obviously got tired of waiting for me and left – I was surprised not to have passed him as I cycled my little legs as fast as I could on Bluey. Manu didn’t arrive as he couldn’t find it, and the Vegan girls were too busy with customers to leave early. Chung was apologetic that the local chicken with sticky rice that I had ordered for us all to share, had been boiled instead of barbecued. I wasn’t, as it was so delicious – Ms My had done a lovely job and I opened the bottle of wine to share with Chung and Linh Giang. Once again, I was the only non-Vietnamese person at the table and we had so much fun. Eventually, Uy noted the date and redeemed himself of forgetting his anniversary with a romantic speech but I was more enthralled by Motthew IV. Chung had chopped up a couple of pineapples for us to share so a big, thirsty moth came to sample it. There was a cake, more cheers and drinks but I was in bed by 10.30pm. I still hadn’t packed for Danang, Dalyan or the UK. Tomorrow was going to be a bit disorganised and rushed.

Phong Nha – 18th June

We were awake early on Tuesday 18th June as Captain Caveman was off in to Son Doong and I said I would see him off before I started work. It was probably the last time I would see him this year in Phong Nha and I was feeling a bit sentimental about that. Captain Caveman doesn’t do emotional stuff so it was just another day to him but at least he posed for a photo while we waited for a coffee and a watermelon juice at Son River House Homestay. We agreed that I would travel by car to Dong Hoi on Thursday, he’d booked me a room at the Dolphin hotel for that night and a train for Friday morning to Danang. He would get the overnight train after his gala dinner on Friday night and see me in Danang on Saturday morning. We would have our final celebrations in Danang before I flew back to Turkey on Tuesday. We were all organised so that it would go smoothly. Captain Caveman took himself off for spicy fish noodle soup for his breakfast, probably to escape my emotional goodbyes and me still being upset about May, the dog. Chung could see I needed a bit of support and told me to come back to the homestay once I’d seen Captain Caveman off on tour from Ho Khanh’s.
I saw Mr Nghia who works on the porter team and is Ha’s (from Phong Nha Vegan) dad. He was holding Ai’s baby who is super cute and so I took photos. I also found a creepy crawly to match his Oxalis shirt which turned out to be poisonous and had a twin nearby! Luckily I moved one to the shrubbery but then it got moved again to further afield. We said bye and Captain Caveman got on the bus with the next tour group, who also didn’t get off for a photo.
Back at the homestay, I waited for Chung so that we could go to Phong Nha Vegan for brunch. I took photos of the Son River House Homestay menu which looked very comprehensive.

At Phong Nha Vegan, Chung had spicy noodle soup, I had Banh Canh and we shared some fresh spring rolls. Ha made me a mango and coconut smoothie which was so good. I would miss this a lot when I left. I decided to work in the AC of my room at the beautiful and peaceful Son River House Homestay for today.

That evening, after work, I cycled down to Phong Nha Vegan again. Tatas came to meet me and had to wait a while until I could leave to go out for dinner. We went to The Villas for our farewell drinks and meal. We had to make do with mojitos with it being a Tuesday as they were half price. We shared a veggie pizza with a bottle of red then took the wine back to mine so that we could finish off the night. Tatas paid the total bill as a farewell gift and we had a lovely night, it was a bit emotional as I had no idea when I would see her again, although we were hoping she could get a visa to come visit us in Turkey this winter. Tomorrow was weigh day and my last full day in Phong Nha, I’d had 303 syns this week so it wasn’t looking great and I had leaving drinks planned for tomorrow evening.

Phong Nha – 14th & 15th June

I woke up at 7am on Friday 14th June, having had a lovely sleep in the bed all to myself. I went to The Villas for 10am, where I had a pot of tea and paid just 40,000VND (£1.21) for a good brew. I then had to scurry off to the Vegan as I said I’d practice English with the staff. I had a Bun Tron (a vegan rice noodle dish) while I was there and Ha asked if she could nip home to see her Dad. I agreed to hold the fort for her while she rushed off, only for her to come back with some sweet treats for me and the other girls. She had obviously wanted to go to get them as a surprise and it was really kind of her. One was a mung bean paste sweet which was not dissimilar to eating a stock cube and I’m glad I didn’t shove it all in my mouth at once.
In the evening, I went back to Phong Nha Vegan where it was so hot that Ha, the waitress, went for a swim in the river. I had tempura Oyster mushrooms with crispy sweet potato fries. It was like a vegan fish and chips and so good! I also met a couple of Vloggers from America who were enjoying the food and were very nice people. After 3 hours at the Vegan, I cycled back to Son River House Homestay and had an early night.

Saturday 15th June was an exciting day as it was the first day of a new part time job. I was doing some sales and marketing work for a friend. I went to The Villas to have breakfast and work there for the day, I find it the best place to work due to the location and the AC. Captain Caveman was due out of the cave tomorrow and didn’t even know I’d got, or started, a new job. I had my usual Pho Ga, familiarised myself with some spreadsheets and started to look at some content. I had a new friend join me while I worked, it was a moth sat on the glass door who I affectionately named Motthew the third. For lunch I had a margarita pizza with extra mushroom and I saved some to take home.
My tab for breakfast, lunch and drinks was 556,000VND (£17) which was particularly good value and I always enjoy the pizzas there.

By 6pm I was at Phong Nha Vegan having a laugh with Ha. I was meant to be having a swim with her but I had no spare clothes and the staff were too busy with their customers. While everyone was having a bit of a rest near the cooler machine, I spotted the Banh Canh lady. She comes by on her motorbike shouting ‘Banh Canh’ and sells her wares of noodles, eggs and sometimes veggies. I shouted Hanh from the kitchen and Ha from the hammock to come to buy some things. There was quite a crowd and the lady did a roaring trade. Hanh just bought the Banh Canh noodles for 10,000VND (31p).

By 9pm I was back at the homestay where Chung and the owner, Linh Giang, were waiting for me to have a drink to celebrate my first day at work. We ate juicy fresh watermelon and drank chilled red wine. I was introduced to Kim and her daughter, who were staying at Son River House too and we all had a good night together.