I didn’t get much sleep so when Captain Caveman went to Phong Nha on Monday 21st June I had an extra hour in bed. I made my pancakes with banana and honey for breakfast and was getting used to the buckwheat texture combined with the almond milk flavour. I noticed we had some new kitchen utensils on the worktop next to the oven and they looked really good. I decided to do more Turkish language learning on the Duolingo app as I’d not been making time to do it recently. I got a reply from the lady with my passport who apologised for still not returning it yet but I could get it back at Victory Road Villas.
When Captain Caveman returned he had some updates, including that there were potentially some Son Doong tour dates for the beginning of July, with customers who would be coming from Hanoi. He also wasn’t going to Phong Nha tomorrow so wouldn’t be able to get my passport. I contemplated taking Bluey (my bicycle) and would endure the heat, sweat and probably tears to get my passport back. Captain Caveman was less confident on whether we would still be able to go on a holiday as he thought he might need to do some work and now waiting for the passport had taken longer than anticipated. I had leftover Sunday dinner for lunch, a diet coke and shared some mangosteens with Captain Caveman. In the afternoon Captain Caveman was busy on his phone, as he is most of the time when he’s at home, so when I interrupted him to ask about anything he seemed more pissed off than normal but I just put it down to him hating questions and being taken away from his phone. He had already said he wanted to make a mushroom risotto for dinner but it was getting later and there was no sign of this happening so I had some peanuts which then gave me a bad stomach. By 7pm I was fed up of waiting and hungry so I had a slice of dry bread and tried to suggest I would make dinner instead, but Captain Caveman was having none of it. I was not expecting the evening to end as it did but when Captain Caveman brought a lovely looking bowl of risotto each to the table, and before I’d had 2 mouthfuls of it, started a particularly horrible argument where he told me he’s sick of me not going anywhere and staying in all the time, I’m too needy and I should get some friends and go out more. I was more upset that he was spoiling me eating what would have been a great meal for me, so I got upset and asked him to stop talking until I’d eaten my meal. He ignored me and went on to suggest I should cycle more often!! That I have changed too much in the last year and that I used to be the life and soul of the party. I was absolutely fuming, especially given that when he’s at home he is so lazy and never off his phone, even in the pool.
My thoughts on the situation differed a lot from his opinions; I’ve never liked cycling and I’m certainly not going to cycle just for fun in over 40°C heat, especially if there is nowhere to go to at the end of the route. Even if I did go out more, I would need some money, which at the moment we don’t have spare and I’m doing my best to be frugal by not going to happy hour, eating and drinking out or buying wine and spending unnecessarily. But what really cheesed me off is that I’m not here to entertain other people, it’s not my job!
I left the rest of my dinner, which takes a lot to have gone cold in this weather, and decided to say nothing and revisit my plans to stay here. Perhaps giving Captain Caveman more space away from me would suit him better – leaving Vietnam might be the best option if he wants me to ‘get a life’, that’s for sure! He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night, nor did he apologise so I went to bed so mad with him but determined not to back down or speak to him either.

I hardly slept and woke up still in a mood on Tuesday 22nd June, with Captain Caveman at the side of me on his phone and not saying a word. I’d been thinking about the argument, it was evident that while it was fine for Captain Caveman to be as anti-social and lazy as he liked, he didn’t want me to do that and wanted me to be out and about being everyone’s best friend, an entertainment and sportswoman of the year, perhaps! It was definitely something I didn’t want and the more I thought about it the more I knew I was right.  I used to do quite a lot of organising and inviting people places but it’s not a priority to spend money doing things at the moment. As for the going out cycling, well I think Captain Caveman had lost his marbles there; I have never enjoyed cycling and probably never will and to suddenly want to turn me in to some outdoors sort after almost 10 years of knowing that I’m totally an indoors type is ludicrous. Granted if I was bored, had nothing to do and it was a cool temperature then I might enjoy a cycle to the nearest bar or eatery for some light refreshments. I used to go almost every day to the Farmstay and have juice, tea, pho or spring rolls but those costs soon add up and it’s cheaper to eat at home now. As I saw it, I could humour Captain Caveman and go out in the heat, get dehydrated, and spend more time with Phong Nha friends and spend more money, or do what I thought was sensible. Usually, I am the first to chat and try to resolve a situation but today I was not in the mood to placate Captain Caveman so I decided I would try my best to ignore him as much as possible, I’d not speak, nor ask any questions and see how he reacted.
I made gluten free pancakes with dragon fruit (we were out of bananas) and honey and had some jasmine tea for breakfast. I checked the news and the latest Corona death was very sad, dying only 1 week after diagnosis, more info here:
Captain Caveman’s approach was to pretend he’d not said anything and act as normal but it was too late, he’d said it now. After he’d got back from his cycle to Phong Nha and an Eggs Benedict pizza for breakfast at The Villas, he went in the pool for the rest of the day. I stayed in the AC, the room temperature was at 30°C as the Aircon struggled to cope with the sun on our side of the villa, outdoors it was a ‘feels like’ 43°C. For lunch I had the other half of the dragon fruit and a small carton of almond milk and then had a bad stomach (for no reason). I felt tired so I had a sleep then watched the second episode of Hinterland – I was quite enjoying seeing the Welsh scenery and wet, cold weather.
Eventually Captain Caveman, who had probably been really enjoying the silent treatment came in and said he was going to cook Beef Luk Lak for dinner (one of my favourites), I asked if it would be served with an argument and he said not. Seeing as Captain Caveman is an excellent problem solver I asked what he thinks the solution should be but he didn’t have one.
The beef dish for dinner was lovely and although the beef was a little tougher than the one we had last time, it was still a bargain and I enjoyed my dinner, even though I had a bad stomach half way through eating it and there was no gluten or dairy in it. Before bed I was hoping for a ‘sorry’ from Captain Caveman but, obviously, I knew better than to expect one.

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