Hoi An – 29th March

While Captain Caveman started his cycle ride from Phong Nha Farmstay on Friday 29th March, I was already begging for mercy a little bit. We’d woken up without any drinking water in the house so Caroline had ordered some to be delivered and gone to 9 Grains Bakery. She wanted me to join her but I needed to shower and I wasn’t ready. Off she went while I revisited Day 2 of the 3 Day Canva course I had started. I was quite happily getting in to it when Caroline returned and started taking her door knob and lock off. She had bought a door knob which only opens with your thumb print and she was looking at how to fix it on. I remember thinking it would be a nightmare for me, my fingers often can’t turn on, off, up or down a ring on the electric hob in Turkey, never mind let me in to my own home when I’ve had a few drinks and am desperate for a wee.
Caroline gave up faffing after a bit and insisted we go back to 9 Grains for lunch. I was hungry as it was almost 2pm so off we went. Jake, a friend, had returned from Cambodia and she’d offered him the use of her motorbike. He’d left his bicycle at 9 Grains and it needed riding back to Caroline’s place. After a chicken, cheese, lettuce and onion sandwich on sourdough, some fruit and a berry juice I tackled the ride back on the busy road. I’m not very confident around traffic and we had a lorry in the way which meant a diversion through the fields, but I made it.
By 4.30pm I was back at the Chiropractor for another session with Dr An and is team. This time they used a giant vibrator on my back, which was pretty nice and I was stretched on the decompression machine, yet again. I was now 2cm taller than I was when I got to Hoi An. Maybe this was a good plan; to report to Fat Club that I’d grown instead of becoming any lighter!

I got changed in to a frock in the toilet after my final chiropractor session. The chiropractor had cost just 250,000VND (£7.90) per session but I’d paid only £15 for about 5 hours’ worth. The crux of my issue was that my thighs and hip muscles were too tight! There wasn’t much time before our next bit of excitement as Caroline picked me up in a golf buggy to drive us to Apggujung Korean BBQ restaurant. Joining us were Dr An, the chiropractor, a customer of his, Hawk and his wife, Hong. Caroline and I were the first there as it started to rain heavily just as we got there and the others were delayed. By the time the 6 of us were seated I’d come to the conclusion that I disliked grape soju, a Korean rice wine. I was also feeling a bit out of sorts after the therapy and was extremely tired. While I was feeling jaded from laying down or resting for most of the day, Captain Caveman had made the 135km from Phong Nha to Dong Ha and was having a beer and some food. Our Korean BBQ was fantastic and definitely one of my favourite meals. I’d paid 850,000VND (£26.87) which included Caroline and I paying for the chiro and his friend’s rice wine. Hawk and Hong, who don’t drink, sensibly left after the meal but the remaining 4 of us went in to town for a bit of a knees up.

I was conscious of money so was going to take it easy. We went to a trendy little cocktail bar next to a temple, where Caroline and the 2 fellas had a few mango daiquiris and I nursed a glass of white wine. They decided to try a new cocktail which Nick (not his real name) and his bar man performed for the customers. It was a red concoction, where fire and gold leaf were involved. My stomach can’t handle normal food so I wasn’t up for swallowing precious metals. We all had a laugh that they were covered in glitter and would be having sparkling shits tomorrow. Dr An picked up the tab for the drinks so I needn’t have restricted myself to 2 drinks, but I didn’t want to be cheeky.
When we tried to get a Grab home, Caroline was a bit tiddly and got a bit annoyed with the Grab motorbike driver who wanted to charge us an expensive 100,000VND (£3.16) and get both of us on the bike at once. Dr An and his friend had a car and tried to offer us a lift which Caroline, for some unknown reason, had declined.
In the end, we couldn’t get another Grab so we both got on the motorbike with (surprisingly) enough room. When we got to her’s she gave him 300,000VND (£9.48), well over the odds, and some words on not ripping foreigners off.
The night didn’t end there, Caroline and I stayed awake, talking, until 4am! We’d had an amazing day and night but tomorrow was my last full day in Hoi An.