Finally I decided we needed to go to a clinic about my injury on Thursday 7th May. I can hear some of you sighing and rolling your eyes at me for not going earlier and I’m sorry, I probably should have. The effort it took to get me out of the house though was pretty full on and I know I definitely would not have been able to manage it on day 1. So here I was on day 20, since the drunken incident which left me unable to walk or straighten my knee, donning shorts and porter sandals – I was rocking it!
First of all it took me a long time to get down the 4 sets of stairs on my bum. The stairs were dusty, slippy and of varying heights which doesn’t help and the bits in between each set were pretty dirty. Captain Caveman had prepared a bag with hand gel, drinking water and a bumbag for my phone and stuff. Once downstairs I saw that our drive was completely covered in rice on tarpaulins all the way to the car! I worried I would slip but it turns out rice husks are quite grippy on crutches. I decided to get in the back seat, this was the first time I’d left the house in almost 3 weeks, and I was already a sweaty mess desperate for the AC. I wobbled a bit on the uneven slope down to the road but Captain Caveman helped me by shouting at me, out of sheer frustration.

Photos by Captain Caveman

Captain Caveman had to drive slowly as I was quite uncomfortable but we got to the clinic, met Bao (Oxalis guide and our translator) and attempted to get inside. There were numerous parked motorbikes, uneven paving and shiny steps to navigate but I made it and numerous staff came to help me. I saw some seats and headed for a sit down but that was not to be, I had to go up to the second floor for an x-ray (again on my bum, up the flights of stairs). I was worn out when I got to the top and into the x-ray room and asked Captain Caveman for water, I didn’t even have time for a sip before the nurse was doing her thing.
Good news!!! Neither my ankle nor knee were broken! I bum-shuffled back down to the ground floor and the doctor did ultrasound scans to check for any signs of damage or fluid. I’m not sure what he found, if anything, but he said I needed to go to hospital for an MRI scan and that he would contact the hospital around the corner to let them know we were coming. The cost of x-ray and ultrasound was less than 500,000vnd (£17.50) and they were very thorough (except for the bright idea of having the x-ray machine upstairs when there was a perfectly good room downstairs)!
I got back in the car and we went to the Cuba hospital where I sat outside the locked toilets while Captain Caveman and Bao went to book me in and pay. (I didn’t know until afterwards that it cost around 3.5m dong for the MRI scan). They told me we had to come back for the MRI scan at 1.30pm and so we agreed to meet Bao back at the hospital just before. Captain Caveman drove us for lunch at Tree Hugger and the waiter had to help me to a seat because Captain Caveman insisted on going to park the car across the street. There was a guy we knew from Phong Nha there, who used to work at Easy Tiger, so we had a chat but I was a bit uncomfortable with my leg and we had to sit outside because it was the first seat I got to. We ordered passion fruit smoothies each, had free herbal tea and ordered some lunch. Captain Caveman had his usual egg salad sandwich while I had a salad. I was conscious I needed something light before going back to the hospital. After lunch I needed the toilet and so we had to get me inside Tree Hugger where Captain Caveman had to move tables and we had help from a kind man and the staff.

Back at hospital I sat waiting to go in without too much concern but when I got in the MRI room and realised what it involved I freaked out. I’m so claustrophobic anyway, the lack of language made it more difficult and we ended up having to have Captain Caveman in the room with me, holding my hand and trying to calm me down. I had the 20 minute knee one in a cold sweat panic attack mode but the 30 minute ankle one was a bit better, especially when Captain Caveman started dancing to keep me entertained.
By the time we got out (passing a stretchered man covered in blood) I was desperate for the loo and of course there was no toilet paper or soap in there! (Good job I had my hand sanitizer). We waited not more than an hour before we had to go in to the emergency room to see a doctor. I sat on a stretcher which still had a patch of some ‘mystery liquid’ where I placed my hand and a guy with a bleeding head injury was next to me. The doctor looked at my ‘photos’ on the light box then came over for a very thorough feel! He also asked if I had sprained my ankle before (which I had about 20 years ago) and then told Bao I had torn ligaments on the right side of my ankle and the left side of my knee, with a little bit of damage to my cartilage. My recommended treatment was to not move, or put weight on, the ankle at all and to exercise the knee only by trying to bend and straighten it as far as I could. He gave me a prescription for some stronger anti-inflammatory tablets and said I should rest for another 2 weeks then come back for a check up before starting some physio.
I was relieved we finally knew what was wrong and lucky it wasn’t worse.

On the way home, I was in pain from all the prodding and very tired but Captain Caveman said he would treat me to dinner out, since we had the car. For a treat Captain Caveman took me to Namaste so we could have Indian food and see Raj in person! He was actually so pleased to see me and it was lovely to see him too, especially to thank him for all the amazing takeaways we had been having. We had a delicious meal and we even met a cute puppy who lives next door. Back home Captain Caveman went ahead to put all the lights on and unlock the doors while I ‘crutched’ from the car to the house door. I got up steps on my bum and managed to get back in the house before Captain Caveman had been to drop the car off, so it wasn’t too bad! I was so tired that I nodded off while watching TV!

Our housemate had kindly brought us some cheese back from Dong Hoi on his last visit and so we had Gouda, Edam and a cheese spread in the fridge already. Captain Caveman had placed it in the door of the fridge for easy access and so on Monday 4th May I had some rice crackers and cheese spread for breakfast. I also managed to knock stuff out of the shelf in the fridge and pick it up without too much of a to-do. Captain Caveman and I had decided that he would leave the front curtains open but close the other 4 sets on the sides to stop the sun coming in and so I still had a view. Neither of us planned for the owner of the house opposite, putting his rice crop on the roof and raking it often – I could see him clearly when I got out of the shower, I don’t know if he could see me. I had slept well, spreading right across the bed to get comfy and had woke up just as the daylight came. I checked in on my app and saw that Vietnam had one more new Corona case which was unusual. He was a British man who worked in oil and had arrived by private plane and had been quarantined. The UK had reported another 9,000 cases and 500 deaths over the weekend. My stomach was still not good but I managed leftover Indian for lunch and had a salted lime drink to rehydrate me. In the afternoon I had a couple of visitors, one of who brought me some shopping from Momma D’s and so for dinner I ate 2 yoghurts and some gluten free biscuits.
I did a bit of Turkish and Facebook checking and then I resorted to an early night and Ozark on Netflix.

I woke up, after another good sleep, on Tuesday 5th May and checked the Corona data. In Vietnam 2 more people had recovered and the recovery rate was now at 81%. In the world stats there was another 40,000 recovered, 4,000 more deaths and 80,000 more cases in a day. The UK had reported another 3,000 cases making it 190,000 plus a further 700 deaths. The website I was using had also started to show the data in terms of per 1m population. The usual data showed that the USA had the most deaths in the world, followed by Italy and then the UK. The new data, based on population, showed that the UK was worse than the USA – that did nothing to help cheer me up.
It was very hot and I did some Turkish while I waited for my breakfast, which Caroline was bringing me from Coffee Station. For some reason my brain wasn’t doing too well and I kept making mistakes on the spelling. Caroline and Mr Higgins, the dog, arrived and we had breakfast together and a good chat. We also discussed going to hospital because she thought I should get checked out – she had been to a clinic in Dong Hoi, when she slipped and broke her wrist, which was cheap for x-rays and quick. She offered to organise a trip before Captain Caveman got back but I said I’d go with him and we could take a translator. Des messaged the group to let us know he was leaving Phong Nha in 1 hour and he was at Coffee Station if anyone wanted to join him. He had a teaching job in Dong Hoi so was off there but I was still unable to go out to say bye. My stomach was still bad, I was tired from ‘crutching’ back and forwards to the bathroom so I chilled out a bit in the afternoon and just ate cheese and gluten free biscuits for meals. The time had gone quick and Captain Caveman would be back tomorrow.

I had managed to survive without Captain Caveman but I didn’t mind admitting I was exhausted. On Wednesday 6th May I was up early as usual and had yoghurt and biscuits for breakfast. My foot wasn’t any different and so I had decided to ask Captain Caveman to arrange to get me to the clinic in Dong Hoi (somehow) as soon as possible. Captain Caveman had filled the kettle before he went so I could have a cup of herbal tea (or two) but unfortunately we had a family of ants living on the top of the water inside the kettle (they had formed an ant raft) – I don’t like ants but I didn’t want to kill them so I just drank water for 4 days. I checked in on the health app and saw in the Vietnamese news that Vietnam said they would continue to ban foreigners from entering the country unless it was vital and a 10 year old had relapsed to Corona. The UK now had 195,000 cases and 29,000 deaths but I kept seeing hints of relaxing lockdown rules (admittedly they were from Lisa on Facebook, not the government), especially as people were wanting to celebrate VE Day. It was unreasonably hot in Phong Nha and still not one drop of rain had fallen so it was even too hot indoors. We have a fan but I couldn’t move it to plug it in and do ‘crutching’ so I wore very little, the man opposite on the roof was used to it now! For lunch Caroline popped over with Phong Nha Vegan food and I wolfed down the eggplant stew. Captain Caveman had just arrived back and had already showered in the other room and he looked tanned and happy.
We had planned to have East Hill chicken for dinner but Captain Caveman was invited to the Floating Boat restaurant for a Son Doong after party at 5pm. He went to Oxalis on the way to arrange to borrow a car and one of the guides so we could go to the clinic in Dong Hoi the next day. Meanwhile from the (not at all comfy) sofa I tuned in to a virtual tour of Dalyan with Murat, live, as he drove around showing us the area. It was funny and I saw a few places I had never been to which looked good to try for my next visit. I was in bed when Captain Caveman arrived home, later than expected, absolutely smashed and unable to form proper words and sentences. I had very little sleep that night as he was laying on his back snoring the loudest I’d heard, for hours – it was nice to have him back!!

If it hadn’t been for the pandemic I would have been in my home town of Sheffield, England, today – Friday 1st May. Instead, I was still in Phong Nha, Vietnam, where I was allowed to go out but having to stay in, because of my injured leg. I remembered that Josh had done a list of swimming pools in Phong Nha he’d tested out before he left, so I decided to use that and add to it for another blog post – the weather was about to get unbearably hot so people may need a pool. I, on the other hand, still couldn’t walk and would be resigned to a sit down shower as my bit of water activity.

https://joloyolo.com/2020/05/01/phong-nha-fancy-a-swim/

For breakfast I had rice crackers, cheese spread and oolong tea (yes, Captain Caveman was on form today). After his leftover pizza Captain Caveman went out shopping and running some errands but didn’t bring back any lunch. Instead I had some crisps and some peanut M&Ms while he was out as I got hungry and I was getting a little bored with crackers.
For dinner Captain Caveman brought back beef stew from Phong Nha Underground and I also ordered a side of bacon, potatoes and onion as a new dish to try but I didn’t enjoy that as much as I thought I would. I was a bit tired that evening but we managed to watch a film, called Toy Soldiers, which I thought was pretty good.

I had a random breakfast of chicken breast, hummus and rice crackers on Saturday 2nd May. I had a look at my injuries and tried to convince myself and Captain Caveman that I’d probably be walking by the time he got back from his 4 day caving tour (starting the next day). He went in to town for provisions and for his lunch and had taken a flask to get me some vegan soup from Veggie Box and I was really looking forward to it,a it had been closed for a while. The portion was huge and I got almost two bowls out of it and had plenty of rice noodles (bun) with it. Unfortunately I didn’t even finish it before I had a bad stomach – I’m sure my body must have gone in to shock at having had so many vegetables at once. That evening Captain Caveman went to collect a big order from Raj at Namaste which included lots of extras for me to have over the next few days.
Before an early night I checked the latest Corona virus data which I’d not done for 48 hours. Vietnam was two weeks after Directive 19 (where the social distancing and lockdowns and been eased) and still had minimal cases and no deaths. The UK had 12,000 more cases bringing it to 177,000 with 2,500 more deaths (27,500 in total) – it was not getting back to normal anytime soon by the look of it. I should have been at a wedding up north this particular weekend and it was upsetting to know friends who were being affected by the pandemic.
We went to bed with the alarm set for the first time in a while and I was about to attempt 4 days home alone from Sunday!

Captain Caveman was up early on Sunday 3rd May, eager to get back to work! He was so excited to be returning to Son Doong and I think he was also looking forward to a bit of a break from me. Whilst he’s not the most attentive person I’ve ever met he is very practical and forward planning so he had put a lot of effort in to making sure I would be prepared for my 4 days (3 nights) by myself. In the lead up to him going he’d also tried to increase the amount of independence I had by not doing everything for me as much so that I would be able to cope. He had rearranged the house furniture for better access to the kettle, groceries and (a very full) fridge. He’d left me towels, clothes and all my essentials in the right places to make it easy while on my crutches! He ate leftover curry for breakfast and then he said farewell and went to Oxalis for his briefing. The forecast was looking good (not that I would be going anywhere) and I had forgotten how hot Phong Nha could be! I had laughing cow cheese spread, hummus and rice crackers for breakfast and had a look at my leg, it seemed the ankle was doing a little better but the knee just wouldn’t take any weight or straighten. I checked the NCOVI app to see that there were still no more cases in Vietnam however the world had reported 83,000 new cases, 5,000 more deaths and 340,000 recoveries in the last day. I had chicken pakoda for lunch but my stomach was still a bit dodgy and I spent the rest of the afternoon going from one room to the other to use the bathroom. I didn’t eat any dinner but did a Turkish lesson and watched a couple of episodes of Ozark in bed before falling asleep.

While I’ve been staying at home for the month of April we have had to rely on takeaway and delivery food from the eateries that have been able to accommodate us in Phong Nha during this difficult period.
I’ve made a top 10 list of who was able to feed us and some of the dishes we enjoyed, both during the Corona social distancing in the first half of April and by my own foolish injury in the second. There are other places available too and these are not in any particular order.

1. Omar’s Namaste
Raj at Omar’s Namaste has been our saviour this month with some of the best service and the most consistently good food. I don’t generally eat lamb and can’t eat gluten but the filling in those lamb samosas are amazing. The chicken dishes I’ve had have all been great and we’ve been known to have leftovers for breakfast, lunch and dinner this month. Beers are cold and they have plenty of wine.
Eat in or takeaway.

2. East Hill
This place has got it right; a simple menu, perfectly cooked whole chicken and sticky rice with great packaging – not a plastic bag in sight!
Eat in, takeaway or free delivery in Phong Nha.

3. Phong Nha Coffee Station
I don’t know where we would be if my ‘carer’, Captain Caveman, couldn’t get his fix of espressos and eggs benedict in a morning. Johnny, the owner, is so helpful and friendly too – making sure all his customers are happy.
Eat in or takeaway.

4. Phong Nha Eatery
The new sibling of The Coffee Station offers customers some great dishes from a very accomplished chef. My favourites are the duck dishes!
Eat in or takeaway

5. Phong Nha Vegan
Neither of us are vegans but the dishes here are fantastic. I’ve always enjoyed the fresh spring rolls and mushroom Lalot but more recently have enjoyed the eggplant stew and sweet potato fries.
Takeaway or delivery

6. Lake House
This place opened recently to serve delicious pizzas to the area. Unfortunately I can’t eat them because of my gluten allergy but they look and smell amazing – so much that I took the toppings off and put them on rice crackers to try.
Delivery only

7. Vung Hue
One of the best and original Vietnamese restaurants in Phong Nha was our saviour for some pork. The ribs here are one of my favourite dishes. The food is consistently good and piping hot.
Eat in, takeaway or free delivery in Phong Nha

8. Oxalis Home
My favourite dish here is the chicken and cashew nuts served with steamed rice, the portions are generous and the restaurant is set by the river with stunning views.
Eat in

9. D’Arts
This restaurant has amazing bun cha, smoked sausage and spring rolls (as well as other dishes). It has comfy seating inside and a well stocked fridge with cold beers and ciders.
Eat in or takeaway

10. Phong Nha Underground
One of the best restaurants in Phong Nha for western/Italian meals. Captain Caveman always has the beefburger with extra cheese and bacon while I usually have tamarind glazed chicken, beef stew or garden rolls. You can also get a decent bottle of wine.
Eat in, takeaway or delivery (at a small cost)

We were allowed out from 16th April but because of a drunken injury I was no longer mobile enough to leave the house. I googled less because Captain Caveman was now able to go out and about much more, so there was less conversation. Here is a list of what I did look up in those last 2 weeks of April:

1. Sprained ankle
2. Broken ankle
3. Have I broken or sprained my ankle
4. RICE for injury
5. Injured ankle
6. Injured knee
7. Broken toe
8. Ligament injury
9. Natura Pu Luong
10. Cushions
11. Easy Jet
12. BBC News UK
13. Gathering for a death
14. Penelope Wilton
15. Peter Egan
16. Too Hot To Handle – what happened to the cast after the show
17. World Life Expectancy data
18. Garden furniture
19. Coccyx pain when sitting
20. Turkish lira exchange rate

My week started with a fruit salad. On Monday 27th April Captain Caveman went out early and ran some errands which included trying to find me some Voltaren gel and some eye drops. He had breakfast at Coffee Station, couldn’t get me my requests at the chemist but brought me more painkillers. My injuries were not getting better as quickly as I had hoped and it had been 10 days since the incident. I checked in on the NCOVI app and saw there were still no new cases, Vietnam remained at 270 cases with 225 recovered (83%) while the world as a whole showed they were seeing 73,000 cases per day, 40,000 recoveries per day and between 3,000 & 4,000 deaths per day now.
I learned some Turkish, did some writing and had Phong Nha Underground garden rolls for lunch. There was an amazing sunset which I could only see from inside the house but Captain Caveman took me a photo of it and we held hands – me on the sofa, him on a deckchair (how romantic). For dinner we had Namaste and I tried the saag aloo for a change, it tasted lovely. We finished watching After Life on Netflix and I laughed and cried in equal measures – it was brilliant.

Tuesday 28th April marked 4 whole weeks of staying at home, two of which were self inflicted! I’m lucky that I don’t get bored and can always find things to do so I was doing well and my Turkish was getting better. The day was a bit of a mixed bag though and the first bit of news I read was about 3 people in Vietnam who had recovered from the virus, had negative tests, gone to 14 days isolation following the all clear and then tested positive again.
I took some advice from a friend who had also injured herself (in a less embarrassing sports incident) and consulted with a couple of people in the medical profession. My leg was still not right and we came to the conclusion I had done something to my ligaments, hence the slow progress.
Breakfast was Phong Nha Underground leftovers while looking at the nice views out of the window. Lunch was leftover Indian from Namaste and dinner was from Phong Nha Vegan.
That night we continued with the movie nights and plumped for Darkest Hour which was good but it was a bit slow in parts and my concentration waned a bit. After that we went for Too Hot to Handle, a series where the contestants of a show are not allowed to get jiggy – hilarious!

After a breakfast of rice crackers, hummus and cheese with oolong tea, on Wednesday 29th April, I decided to try some of the exercises for my ankle and knee but failed. In the news Vietnamese schools were given permission to reopen after 3 months of being closed, providing they adhered to strict measures. Word came from Oxalis that Captain Caveman would be on tour from 3rd – 6th May so we needed to get me less dependent on him before that. He went out shopping and he met up with Des at D’Arts – our favourite bun cha place had reopened. He brought me back a takeaway of some veggie spring rolls which were delicious. I also tried to deal with rescheduling my cancelled flight to the UK which I wanted to move to 2021 but couldn’t because the dates weren’t out yet for flight only.
We watched more Too Hot to Handle on Netflix and ate some snacks from Phong Nha Shop & Go.
At 00:24 Captain Caveman and I were still sat watching TV when a loud noise, like a cross between thunder and a runaway truck, came from my left side. We looked at each other and then it got very loud and the whole house shuddered, as if a truck had driven in to the side of the house. It was gone as quickly as it arrived and I sent Captain Caveman to go and have a look what it was. It was an earthquake, the first one I had experienced in Phong Nha. We stayed up a bit longer to be able to find out where the earthquake had been but it took a while for it to be updated on the internet, not like in Turkey where it is virtually straight away. Instead we read posts on Facebook from scared locals and shocked expats. Des in Phong Nha town had felt it and people in Dong Hoi had felt it too.

The day I should have been flying from Dalyan, Turkey to Manchester, England was Thursday 30th April. It felt a bit weird not knowing when or if I would be back in England this year and it didn’t cheer me up to read the Corona data (which I’d stopped doing daily now).
The USA trip in July was most definitely off now, they had over 1 million cases and 61,000 deaths. The UK had increased cases by 8,000 (at 165,000 now) and deaths by 5,000 (a worrying 26,000) in the last 2 days – it was looking likely they were heading to ‘beat’ Italy. I had hummus and rice crackers for breakfast but no pot of tea as Captain Caveman had to go to Oxalis. He came back at lunch and ordered Lake House pizza and I had some topping on rice crackers.
When Captain Caveman had been out he had spotted some chicks on our drive and took a photo of them, he also saved a geckos life. She was a tiny baby and was confused and thirsty so he set her down on a tray with a spot of water and near to the curtain for shelter. We called her Goldie and kept checking on her.
For dinner we had the BBQ chicken and sticky rice from East Hill again, which was great. We settled down to watch the last of Too Hot to Handle and it turned in to a later night than expected on the last day of the month.

This time last week I was looking forward to our first night out in a while but on Friday 24th April my ankle and knee would still not allow me to be that flexible. The leg looked better but still hurt and Captain Caveman was getting a bit peeved that I couldn’t get up the steps out of the bathroom without using tables to support me – I didn’t trust the crutches and by the time he would have got up to help me I could do it quicker. I checked the stats on Corona and although Vietnam seemed to be doing extremely well at preventing cases and deaths I was starting to get a bit cheesed off at some people not taking it seriously in other countries. Vietnam had 268 cases, Turkey was on 101,000 cases and over 2,400 deaths while the UK were on 138,000 cases and 18,000 deaths.
For breakfast I had rice crackers again, which Captain Caveman assured me he had checked for ants, but I had to send them back for ant removal as they were still covered in them! After triple checking and Captain Caveman admitting he didn’t thoroughly check because he likes ants, I ate them with cheese, gherkins and a pot of oolong tea. It was Des’s birthday and I felt bad that I wouldn’t be able to get out to celebrate with him at Momma D’s quiz night. I did more writing and learning Turkish then Captain Caveman decided he was having Lake House pizza again for lunch. I decided because they were on special offer to have the topping off the Hawaiian but to not eat the base and Captain Caveman had a meaty one and some of the Hawaiian.
In the evening it wasn’t great weather and Captain Caveman said he didn’t want to go to the quiz but I knew it was because he worried he wouldn’t win it without me! Instead we had a takeaway from Namaste, which was as impressive as usual, then we watched something on Netflix but I have no idea what and probably fell asleep.

It had now been a week since I had drunkenly fallen and injured myself during our first night of freedom after ‘lockdown’. Saturday 25th April was a fairly lazy day for me, but aren’t they all now. I had 2 rice crackers and 2 laughing cow cheeses with water for breakfast as Captain Caveman had to nip to Oxalis for something. I wasn’t capable of transporting a cup or pot of tea so I missed out there. I did the RICE process for the leg and some Turkish lessons before Captain Caveman returned and we had leftover Indian food for lunch.
The Vietnamese authorities had released Directive 19 which now explained how the whole country would continue to conduct itself through the pandemic. I’d managed to not look at the data until later in the day but it was not good news back home. I had a Facebook call with my parents and it was funny to see how much their hair was growing and although they had strictly being adhering to the #STFAH rules they had some amusing stories to tell and it cheered me up. The cleaner came, a day later than planned, and was touching my foot to see what was wrong with it – she speaks no English and she just kept chatting on and shaking her head. Captain Caveman managed to pop out somewhere, probably for a few beers or to get me some snacks.
In the evening we had a marvellous dinner from Phong Nha Underground where I tried the beef stew with garlic potatoes and it was spot on. We decided to watch a couple of episodes of the second series of After Life with Ricky Gervais in. It was brilliant and instead of crisps and sweets I ate some dried mango that had been in the fridge for ages – it was the first time I’d tried it and it was pretty good.

Sunday 26th April was a bit more lively (luckily for you readers who must be getting bored especially as, by now, I was meant to be flaunting my after lockdown shenanigans to all of you who are still stuck indoors). I could see where I had hurt my leg a bit clearer now, I was able to touch the sore bits and what I had overlooked is my toe, where there were the two cuts, it was very fat and I think I had broken it. I managed to have a lovely breakfast which I had ordered ahead so that I would definitely get a pot of tea with my rice crackers and laughing cow.
Vietnam had 5 more recovered Corona cases and I didn’t bother looking at the rest of the world data. As it was Sunday we thought a nice BBQ chicken with sticky rice, from East Hill, for lunch would be just the ticket and I was still eating it when it was time for the family zoom call. It was a good catch up again and I liked listening to the funny stories with Captain Caveman, his brothers, parents, sister-in-laws and nephews and niece.
Momma D’s was having a Cards against Humanity night with pizza which I would have gone to if I could but instead we had another zoom call with some of the Berlin 10, which was really good. Afterwards we watched more After Life and I iced my foot with a super cold can of Twister.
In summary it wasn’t a bad weekend and a good job I’m used to occupying myself.

Are you already in Phong Nha with free time on your hands? Or maybe you are thinking of a visit to get out of the city? Places and attractions are starting to open again and so here’s my list of things you could do as soon and this weekend:

1. Yoga at 7:30am and sunset each day at Phong Nha Farmstay.

(Photo from Phong Nha Farmstay)

2. Phong Nha cave – take the boat from the tourism centre.

3. Ozo park – nice for a walk around, a picnic or to try the zipline.

4. Jungle Boss have great trekking tours.

(Photo by Uy at Jungle Boss)

5. Kayaking is available at Oxalis, Ho Khanh’s, Victory Road Villas, A Little Leaf or Lucky Homes.

6. Paradise Cave – enjoy the walk up to the cave as well as the formations inside.

7. Nuoc Moc – stop off for some fun in the water.

(Photo from Phong Nha Ke Bang tourism)

8. Dark Cave – don’t wear white swimsuits!

(Photo from Nguyen Le Chieu)

9. Botanical Gardens – choose your walk through the beautiful gardens.

10. Dr Sy’s Magic Fingers – get a wonderful massage or enjoy a steam treatment.

11. Di Di Thoi boat tours have great sunset cruises that are picturesque and relaxing.

12. Ride a bicycle ride around the area, take some photos of the scenery and wave hello to the locals.

Before we were faced with the pandemic and having to #STFAH my friend, Josh White, had written a guest blog post. He’d actually researched, tried and tested the subject to make sure he could give you all some accurate information. This was before he left Phong Nha in March but now that Phong Nha is starting to open again you might find this useful. Below is Josh’s Phong Nha swimming pool reviews based on his need to be able to swim lengths for exercise, I’ve also added a few more choices for those of you who just fancy a dip on a hot day.

1. Nguyen Shack Lake Hill (Eco Resort)
The imposing sail in this boat shaped pool is visible on the approach as you cycle round the lake. With 22m of deep pool (turning on a step 40cm below the surface) Nguyen Shack Lake Hill offers an opportunity for swimming lengths but also getting the perfect shot “for the gram”. Great food, affordable drinks and views across the secluded lake complete the package.
✓ Swimming lengths

2. Phong Nha Eco Mountain Farmstay
Near the gateway to the national park, Phong Nha Eco Mountain Farmstay (yes it really is that much of a mouthful) offers 16m of swimmable pool (with lanes). Relaxation areas on the sides of the pools mean if some of the group just want to cool off with a Saigon beer they’re catered for.
✓ Honorary mention

3. Karst Villas
A short cycle or ride away from Phong Nha Karst Villas offers a stunning view of a setting sun behind the Hollywood sign. The photos speak for themselves.
✓ Sunset views

4. Phong Nha Farmstay
Further out of town again, Ben and Bich’s first business in the area still comes up trumps. Views across paddy fields and with great food and extensive wine menu mean this is a superb option for staying way past sunset.
✓ Sunset views

5. Victory Road Villas
Phong Nha’s premium accommodation, Victory Road Villas, has a secluded pool but is also the closest pool to town in this list. Happy hour and a half is an ideal time to visit with BOGOF cocktails, beers and spirits.
✓ Cocktails by the pool

6. Restful River Bungalows
A lesser known about option for getting away from the crowds, offers good food, cheap drinks, and lovely accommodation, along with great views across the river.
✓ Hidden secret swimming (not many kids)

7. Ho Khanh’s Homestay
Home to a newly built slide into the river, this homestay, owned by the first man to discover Hang Son Doong, is great for groups looking to have a laugh in the sun, with cold drinks and vegan food delivery.
✓ Something a little different

(Photo by Adam Spillane)

I also added more pools to visit which are more suitable for families of all ages as well as groups, see below:

8. Jungle Boss
Set in the Jungle Boss homestay with it’s own bar this is a great place to cool off with a beer or gin and tonic. The pool is deep so make sure you can swim.

✓ Pool parties

9. Sy’s Homestay
A little out of Phong Nha this has a chilled vibe and is situated in the rice paddies.

✓Great hospitality and scenery

10. Heritage by Night
Right in town and happy to let you swim if you are buying food or drink, if not check the fee for a swimming beforehand. It’s a decent sized pool with views of the mountain.

✓ Central location

11. Pepper House
One of the old favourites and a lovely family feel to the place. The pool has shallow and deep with a bridge across and seats in alcoves to enjoy a beer.

✓ Atmosphere

12. Lake House
Located on the main highway and is a nice place to chill out and admire the lake views. The pizzas are pretty good too if you’ve worked up an appetite.

✓ Lake views

13. Thao Nguyen Homestay
Bang in the centre of town on the main drag. Ideal for families of all ages too.

✓Super friendly

(Photo from Thao Nguyen Homestay Facebook)

14. Escape
This place is going out of town a little so is very quiet and has lovely river views.

✓ River views

There are lots of homestays in Phong Nha and I’ve not yet been in all of the swimming pools available. Maybe I will be able to try some more this summer.

I woke up on Monday 20th April needing some painkillers and ice on my injuries, my leg looked ok and just had a slight swelling. I only had raisins for breakfast as I couldn’t go out and so I checked in on my app and looked at the Corona data. Vietnam now had a total of 268 cases, with 202 recovered already (75%) and there hasn’t been a new case for 4 days now and zero deaths. Turkey was now up to 86,000 cases with 2,000 deaths and almost 12,000 recovered. The UK had reached 120,000 cases and 16,000 deaths but for perspective this was only 0.02% of the UK’s population that had died from something preventable in the last 3 months!
Being unable to walk about and depressing myself with stats there was only one thing to do, order some lunch! We were so fortunate that our friend, Vananh, had decided to open her restaurant for takeaway and delivery and Phong Nha Underground had a new limited menu which looked great. Captain Caveman ordered a bacon cheeseburger and I plumped for the tamarind glazed chicken. While we were placing the order I mentioned I missed the pots of tea at her place so she offered to sell me a tea pot and some loose tea (herbal and oolong). Captain Caveman went looking for crutches and pretty much exhausted all sources and I was contemplating going to hospital to get checked out but instead I did the RICE treatment; rested (I’m good at that), iced (well I didn’t need all the ice for alcoholic beverages right now), had compression bandages on both knee and ankle (as couldn’t tell which hurt the most) and elevated it on a bolster cushion while watching TV and trying to learn more Turkish.
There was more good news in the evening, Raj, from Namaste, had turned his oven back on so we could have more of our favourite dishes, including Afghani chicken, with our takeaway curry. We watched more episodes of Scream and we had a definite promise of crutches coming for the next day.

Captain Caveman had started to get a bit annoyed at being nurse maid by Tuesday 21st April. After 4 days my leg was getting better but the hopping about was giving me indigestion. Captain Caveman went to Coffee Station and had 3 espressos with Tatas and when he got back he made me my first pot of tea in the new tea pot. It was hot out (max forecast was 36°) so I was lucky to have AC and be indoors, there was meant to be a thunderstorm in the afternoon but it held off. I had hummus and carrots for a very late breakfast with my amazing pot of tea, which I really enjoyed. I even made it on to the sofa as well as polishing off leftover curry for lunch. By 5pm the crutches had finally been tracked down and Captain Caveman went to get them. We had a little practice and he deduced they needed making taller. I was a bit wobbly on them and still couldn’t navigate stairs at all. We ordered Vung Hue ribs for dinner (which disappeared too fast) and watched more Scream before having an early night. Tomorrow was another milestone in the rest of Vietnam’s lockdown and it would be announced if an extension would be made.

Wednesday 22nd April wasn’t the best day for me! My underarms were sore from the crutches, my bum and leg hurt and I was I wanted to be feeling better. I managed to hop over to the breakfast table for rice crackers and laughing cow cheese but a load of ants had got into the rice crackers so Captain Caveman had to remove them all. He made me a pot of herbal tea and tucked in to his peanut butter and marmite chapatis. I managed a half comfortable sitting position on the sofa with a cushion under my leg. It’s times like this I really miss a comfy sofa or a soft bed. It was raining out and I looked really tired but I checked in on the NCOVI app and saw Vietnam had more recoveries and were now at 222 out of the 268 cases (82.8%).
The news came that the discussions had started for the next phase of the Corona virus measures and I had a read up on directives 15 & 16 which were currently in place (link below if you’re interested in reading more) and the prime minister would announce more areas were to come out of lock down.
For dinner we ordered food from Phong Nha Underground, Captain Caveman had a burger (which he ate in less than 15 seconds) and I had Tamarind glazed chicken with mixed rice and veg – I loved it and it’s definitely one of my new favourites.
After more Turkish online Captain Caveman and I settled down to watch more Scream and had some treats (haribos and crisps) to cheer me up.

https://vietnamtimes.org.vn/clarification-of-governmental-directive-15-and-directive-16-on-covid-19-preventation-19690.html

It was rainy and much cooler weather on Thursday 23rd April and I had to put a fleece on. My phone has countdowns of upcoming events and so I had a reminder that in 3 weeks time I should be off to Marbella for a hen weekend and that it was just 2 months to the wedding of one of my great friends back in the UK. Being in Vietnam this meant that even if a miracle happened I wasn’t going to be able to fly to Spain and it looked likely that the bride to be had some stressful rearranging to contend with.
Captain Caveman had gone out shopping and I could tell he was really getting sick of having to do everything. He wasn’t enjoying doing all the washing up, opening/closing curtains twice per day and having to make the bed as well as passing me things. He’s a fan of a bathroom being a wet room and so he was also having to keep the bathroom dry so I didn’t slip – I was becoming a handful. I needed to take painkillers so I managed to get the banana from the fridge and eat that and I already had a bottle of water next to the bed. Captain Caveman went to Coffee Station for his favourite breakfast and he brought me back a fruit salad (it was the first time I’d had one with avocado in). My foot seemed to be slightly better but I still couldn’t go out so we ordered BBQ chicken with sticky rice from East Hill (newly reopened) and waited for delivery. It was worth the wait – so fresh, hot and tasty.
I got word that despite immigration remaining closed in Hanoi for another week, my visa extension had been agreed and processed already, I was now legally allowed to remain in Vietnam until the 15th July.
Momma D’s was open again that night but I couldn’t have gone out so we stayed in with snacks and finished off Scream. It looked like my first free week was the week I never left the house and I’d not gone this long without an alcoholic beverage in quite some time.

There was some good news on Saturday 18th April; the bottle of wine from Phong Nha Underground had made it home with me last night unscathed and I had no idea how. I, on the other hand, had not escaped without injury. I could hardly remember what had happened until I tried to sit up and the pain in my bum bone was quite bad, my knee was throbbing and I had twisted my ankle – I even had to have breakfast in bed, on a tray.
There’s always someone worse off and so I still checked the Corona virus updates and checked in on my app to say I was (ironically) healthy! Vietnam had 21 more recoveries which was great news and meant 73% had recovered already. The UK recoveries now were showing as ‘no data’ but there had been 14,500 deaths and 108,000 cases with lockdown looking to continue for a few more weeks.
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that we had left over Indian food for lunch and then we decided to watch a film. Captain Caveman put on The Outsider but I fell asleep and missed what it was about. In the evening we ordered our food from Phong Nha Underground and watched another film, Lost Girls, which wasn’t bad. I really enjoyed my garden rolls with pork and the tahini dipping sauce but I didn’t manage to eat all 4, so one went in the fridge. Captain Caveman was back on the beer but for me I think alcohol would have to wait a while!! Well, at least until I could navigate to the toilet (the one which isn’t broken) and get a shower unaided!

There’s no flies on Captain Caveman when it comes to being organised! On Sunday 19th April he pulled out (of the fridge) a feast of a breakfast from the surplus of our Phong Nha Underground order the evening before. We shared hummus and carrots and while he had the bread I ate the remaining garden roll.
The Lake House had reopened for pizza delivery and had posted on the Phong Nha Visitors page so of course Captain Caveman ordered pizza for lunch. Because of my gluten allergy I could just eat some of the topping and attempted to put some on a rice cracker. The pizza looked amazing and if it wasn’t for the consequences I would have risked eating it all.
After lunch we watched a great film, recommended by our housemate, Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood in. By the time dinner time came around Captain Caveman wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to order or collect any food so I just had crisps and water – this self inflicted house arrest was going to be testing!
We finished the evening with me eating crisps in bed watching Scream (the series) on Netflix and asking ‘What did that say?’ at every shot that showed a text message, because I was too far from the TV.

Our second day of freedom was a little different to the first one! On Friday 17th April we tucked in to onion bhajis and lamb samosas for breakfast (I didn’t eat the pastry or peas). The weather forecast had said it would rain but it looked fine when we decided to finish off the bottle of wine for lunch with just a couple of slices of cheddar cheese. Lung was here for her weekly clean so we used the excuse of needing to get out of the way to go over to Ho Khanh’s. I had a Strongbow while Captain Caveman had a Huda, we took some photos and didn’t even see anyone – even the dogs were asleep.

Momma D’s was opening at 4pm and we were so excited to actually be going out so off we cycled in readiness for an early bar. We had already ordered some garden rolls from Phong Nha Underground and so we intended to have a few drinks before sunset and then head home with our takeaway. Captain Caveman and I arrived to meet Des at the bar, Momma D was busy with her staff, who looked happy to be back working again. Captain Caveman ordered beer and I went for a glass of red wine. By the time Tatas joined and Momma D sat with us for a bellini shot, we were on our second beverage. More of the expats arrived and we had a right laugh, until I got too drunk.
Instead of going home, as planned, we had Phong Nha Underground deliver my food over to us and we ordered peanuts at Momma D’s too. There was even a bottle of red wine which I had pre-ordered from Underground which we saved to take home – a good night was had by all but I didn’t realise it might be the last one for a while.

Spending a second week at home with Captain Caveman because of the social distancing measures meant there was more need to Google things. Here’s my list for that week for those of you with nothing better to read:

1. Countries beginning with the letter ‘X’
2. Countries beginning with the letter ‘W’
3. Did Anne Hathaway have breast cancer
4. The effects of too much pineapple
5. Oliver North
6. Flights to Istanbul
7. UK no 1 songs on our birthdays
8. World Life Expectancy statistics
9. Vietnam news
10. Jason Leonard
11. Moving things with your mind
12. Itchy scalp at night
13. Nhung the superspreader
14. Jared Leto
15. Weather
16. How did the guy in Tiger King lose his legs.
17. How many calories in an avocado
18. Oolong tea
19. 22 Asperger’s signs and traits in adults
20. Yoga moves
21. Directive 15
22. Blinking for longer than usual
23. Extraction (film)
24. Emma Roberts
25. David Copperfield (and his wife)

If you missed the first week of Google searches, here it is: https://joloyolo.com/2020/04/18/phong-nha-30-things-i-googled-in-week-1-of-stfah/

Following the news from the previous day that we were allowed to relax the isolation rules in Phong Nha on Thursday 16th April we decided to go out! Before that I did a quick Turkish lesson and a bit of writing, not forgetting to check in on the NCOVI app and read the updates on the virus. The UK’s corona cases had increased by 4.6%, since the day before, while Turkey’s cases were 6.1% up from yesterday. Vietnam’s numbers were much smaller so the percentage increase was negligible at 0.4% increase. The deaths had risen in the UK by 5.9%, in Turkey by 7.6% and still zero in Vietnam. Turkey’s recovered cases had increased by 15%, Vietnam by 1% and the UK had not recorded any further recoveries.
We had a cycle the long way round in to town, with our masks on. The journey wasn’t much different from the last two weeks and we didn’t see that many people around. We went to Coffee Station where Captain Caveman had his usual and I opted for bacon and cheese with a herbal tea! On the way home we called in at Oxalis Home, it was a hot day and I expected to see lots of people around, but it was quiet. We got a call from the ex-lodger as he was off to Dong Hoi and would pick us up anything from the supermarket so I ordered rice crackers (you can’t have too many and they make a great gluten free alternative). We went home and ate our Vung Hue leftovers for lunch and I messaged the gang to see what everyone was doing now that we were free to socialise – nothing! In the afternoon Momma D dropped off our delivery of one bottle of wine, 200g of cheddar and more rice crackers – she had not been expecting to be able to open so soon and so Momma D’s was likely to be opening the following night. Not knowing what we would do with our ‘unfound’ freedom we sat down in the afternoon with a gin and watched In the Shadow of the Moon on Netflix (it was ok). I then had a strongbow and we ordered a curry which unfortunately I got terribly wrong; I meant to order 4 items but when I copied and pasted the list I accidentally pasted the wrong one which resulted in 8 items. Captain Caveman went off to collect it by bicycle and was gobsmacked when Raj gave him 2 bags of stuff. He got back and (as you can imagine) how we laughed at this silly mistake. We got the wine open and had at least 2 curries, samosas, bhajis and rice for the next day.

For those interested in the rules of the new rules of directive 15, here is the link:
https://vn.usembassy.gov/vietnamese-government-extended-directive-on-maximum-social-distancing/

1. The food and drink – most of all I miss being able to get a decent gluten free alternative bread, cereal and pasta. I miss having a proper kitchen (with an oven) and even the microwave to warm up my leftovers. I miss lots of restaurants and all the gorgeous food on the boat trips. I wish I’d brought some Turkish delight with me too.

2. The people – lots of lovely friends and drinking buddies, as well as all the friendly business owners and workers I know. I miss the Riverbums and the weekly clean ups and the flower sellers. All those Dalyanites I promised to see this month too.

3. The dogs – I miss the dog shelter and all those poor pooches who just want a bit of attention and a short walk.

4. The views – of the river and the tombs and the gorgeous sunsets, the ones at Kaunos or of the street from a favourite bar and of all the boats.

5. Turkish tea – you can’t beat it!

6. Fire Opal – I miss the home comforts, the swimming pool and the relaxing surroundings (and the neighbours).

7. Boat trips – the relaxing days out at sea or on the lake, visiting the beach or a moonlight cruise. Enjoying the quieter boats as a private group or joining a tour on the water and meeting people. Taking in the views which are different each time.

8. BC Spa – having full body or back massages, enjoying the hamam and the reflexology. Getting a face mask or chilling by the pool and seeing all the friendly staff there.

9. Pamper sessions – the pedicures at my favourite salon, the look of my glittery toe polish in my nice sandals. Having a trip to my amazing hairdresser who gives me the best curls.

10. Markets – trying the produce before we buy and getting such good fruit and veg. Wandering round and seeing what’s in season and choosing something to munch on.