I went vegetarian and alcohol free on Friday 31st January, mainly by accident. Captain Caveman was off in to Son Doong on his first tour of the decade so I went over to see him off from Ho Khanh’s. Back home I had a snickers and some raisins as a mid-morning snack – the Shop and Go here sells boxes of raisins for 53,000vnd which isn’t bad, the western chocolate bars are 25,000vnd and you sometimes get free bananas. For lunch I met friends at Little Vietnam where I had a massive portion of veggie fried rice, which I couldn’t finish but was less than 50,000vnd.
That night I ate at Veggie box, by myself, where I had vegan soup with mint tea and loads of water then went home to watch Netflix and eat crisps. I’d started watching The Stranger which was really good.

The weather forecast didn’t look too promising on Saturday 1st February however, as is usual, it wasn’t accurate. I didn’t bother with breakfast as I was still feeling under the weather (despite managing almost 5 hours sleep) but for lunch I had a really good time eating at Funny Monkeys with the lads, sat outside overlooking the river. My pork fried rice was very tasty and just the right sized portion, the tofu in tomato sauce looked good but was a bit on the small side. All but two of us at the table had agreed on a challenge of no alcohol or meat for the whole month – it would be termed Dry Veguary!
Josh and I ate dinner at Veggie Box (again) where we shared the stuffed tofu with orange sauce and the veggie taste with rice, neither of us had any alcohol and the food was really tasty although wasn’t quick and it was disappointing to see that the eggplant and rice takeaway we ordered was packaged in polystyrene containers and a plastic bag.
At Momma D’s I had a marmalade martini which was really well made by the bartender, but as only I was drinking we didn’t stay long and I was in bed early that evening.

I’d been invited to a wedding on Sunday 2nd February which I planned to go to however I was unable to drink beer (because of the gluten) I didn’t fancy the rice wine (because of my cough) and I was trying my best to avoid smokers (pretty hard to do here). My cold had gone but my cough was still there and so I was trying to be as healthy as possible to fight it off, I really didn’t want to spread it either. I was also expecting a visit from Katie, who was on a whistle stop tour of Vietnam and would have just one night in Phong Nha. In the morning I went over to Ho Khanh’s with my gluten free cornflakes and had those with a ginger tea for breakfast.
At lunchtime Josh and I went to Yummy’s for the special menu which we had as a veggie option and had soft drinks with it – there was loads and it tasted delicious. During the afternoon I tried to sleep a bit more in an effort to get well before meeting my cousin. Josh and I chose to eat dinner at Nguyen Shack, I had a pork and eggplant dish which I had never tried before so I gave that a go – it was incredibly garlicky but tasty and Josh had a massive portion of veggie fried rice. The food was good value and the staff were attentive and friendly, we both said we’d go again. We went up to Momma D’s after where I said I’d meet Tatas who was back from her 4 day trip and I had also arranged to meet my cousin, Katie. It was so good to see her, she looked well, was happy and we had a couple of drinks including the free bellini shots. We facetimed our relatives together and made a huge amount of noise in front of the other customers at the rooftop bar but we didn’t care. We got some photos and had a good old laugh before it was time to leave. Josh and Tatas came with me to walk Katie to Saigon Phong Nha hotel, where she was staying, and we said our goodbyes. Her next part of the tour was to see the show caves (Paradise and Phong Nha) the next day and then they were leaving for Hanoi.

Monday 27th January was the third day of the Tet holiday and we had 4 parties booked in, between 8:30am and 5pm. I hadn’t slept much but I was convinced I should be getting better now and decided I would wrap up warm and attend Mr Nguyen’s house to celebrate with the caving lot. We were served green tea which I welcomed and even drank spare ones, there were some menthol sweets on offer which were like a miracle cure and I shoved them in. Hieu and Hoan hosted us well and brought out so much food and drink and were so generous to us all. Banh tet is one of my favourite dishes so I managed several pieces – it’s rice with pork in the middle and made into a sticky roll then deep fried.
In the afternoon, while everyone went to Sexy Quang’s, Landlord Phuong’s and Happy Hoa’s I stayed home and decided to have a tidy out of my possessions which were still here from last year. Having watched a Marie Kondo series on Netflix I was into the methodology and had already started to store things better. I’d also been following posts from my friends decluttering business which made it easier for me to be tidy and a bit more minimal in some ways.
In the evening it had dawned on me that I had cabin fever and so I joined in a meal at Namaste with Captain Caveman and friends – I even had some wine and sodas and bought some local cough/throat sweets which were like menthol Werther’s originals.

The 4th day of Tet fell on Tuesday 28th January and it was a fairly quiet day for me. I joined Captain Caveman and friends at Coffee Station where I had a smoothie bowl, without the granola, for breakfast. Later I rested in bed and just had crisps for lunch but went to The Villas for Happy Hour and a Half and dinner. I love the margaritas there and the free popcorn – who can resist a happy hour too! For dinner we shared a bottle of red and I had one of my favourite dishes again, the confit duck leg. The meal is 180,000 vnd, is tasty and filling too – less than £6 in English money is pretty good value. Back home Tatas came back for a drink and we opened a nice wine we had been saving – it wasn’t that nice though!

The last day of the Tet holidays, Wednesday 29th January, and Tatas was going to be on TV at 7am so we had all assembled at Ho Khanh’s to watch the show. I had my gluten free cornflakes and a ginger tea, Josh tried to get the TV working and Tatas didn’t make it as she had to go on tour at the last minute. When we finally got the TV working it turned out they didn’t have that channel anyway.
For lunch it was a local affair at Phong Nha Vegan where I had mushroom porridge and fresh spring rolls. We also said goodbye to Dan as he left to return to the UK for a bit. In the evening Captain Caveman and I went to Phong Nha Underground early-ish because he wasn’t feeling well either. I doubled up on herbal teas and lime juice, had a lovely pork dish for main while Captain Caveman ate pasta, then went home to bed. I waited for Tatas and she ate a taco and I had hummus with carrot sticks – no alcohol though!

On Thursday 30th January we had breakfast at Oxalis, it’s not the best pho ga in town but it does the trick and the ginger tea is good.
I rested up again and just had snacks for lunch but later we had dinner at Capture, I had a breakfast because you can order it at any time and their bacon is the best in town. Captain Caveman had his first Son Doong briefing that night and wasn’t sure he would come out afterwards so Josh and I went to Momma D’s where we met a lovely couple from Rugby, Angela and Nick.

The lunar new year holidays were about to begin in Vietnam, Friday 24th January was Tet eve and we had a busy weekend planned. Unfortunately I was feeling pretty terrible and had a bad cold and cough so didn’t really do much. For dinner we went to Phong Nha Underground where they had a special Tet menu and some live music playing. We shared a hummus plate starter and I ordered the Wild Route Chicken for main while Captain Caveman had a pasta dish. All the food was pretty fantastic and the singer was really good but because I was coughing so much we decided to leave at the interval so that I could hope to be better for the first of the Tet celebrations the next day.

Lucky Home (previously called Lucky Lucky) had invited us to join their Tet day on Saturday 25th January at 9am but I was unable to go. I was pretty rough and I also didn’t want to spread any germs to the lovely family there, or their guests, so I stayed at home. I had not slept and while all the cavers went to the Vung Hue for an amazing Tet meal I rested in bed. We’d managed to get some Australian cough medicine from the pharmacy which was helping but I could only take 3 lots per day, when I found a half packet of cherry flavoured fisherman’s friends I actually cried with relief. By 2pm I was pretty hungry so Captain Caveman and I went to The Villas, luckily this was one of a few places to remain open throughout Tet and the staff there are really good. I had ginger and honey tea, loads of water and popcorn while Captain Caveman had a cocktail and I ate the veggie spring rolls to start. For my main I had the potato, artichoke and edamame bean salad (without tomato) which was even better than I remembered it tasting last year. For desert I added a Jameson’s to my ginger tea and it stopped the coughing temporarily.
We went home and I spoke to my parents in Sheffield, England, who were cold and jetlagged after their holiday but it was good to catch up with them as we hadn’t been in contact for over 2 weeks. By the time I came off the phone Captain Caveman was asleep so I popped my headphones in and watched more of The Fall on Netflix.

The second day of Tet, Sunday 26th January, was also Australia Day but I wasn’t well enough to do anything. We had breakfast at The Villas (our usual of pho ga and smoked salmon) where we ended up staying for lunch as we were joined by Josh and a couple of people from Ho Khanh’s who were already on the booze so Captain Caveman joined them. I decided that Cameron’s amazing chocolate mousse cake was going to be my treat – I’d not eaten this for about 6 months and it was still just as amazing.
For dinner Captain Caveman and I went in to town early and visited Phong Nha Underground again, intending to listen to the singer for a bit longer this time but now Captain Caveman had caught my cold and felt too ill to stay long. We shared starters of garlic purée and hummus plate and of course he ate the bread. He had his spaghetti bolognese down in record time while I took my time with my tamarind chicken, another firm favourite of mine. Back home we had a whisky and water and then tried our best to sleep.

One week after leaving Dalyan, Turkey, I was back in Phong Nha, Vietnam, enjoying the food and drink around the area. Where we live is about 3km to the town centre and so on Monday 20th January we decided on breakfast at Coffee Station. Captain Caveman loves a double espresso and eggs benedict and always has that – I don’t drink coffee or eat eggs, which is considered somewhat strange here in Vietnam. I used to have the herbal tea at Coffee Station but there was no longer tea on the menu so I had water and ordered fruit salad with yogurt. It was very fresh and a sizeable portion and a fairly healthy start to my week.
For lunch Captain Caveman and I joined two of the cave experts at Phong Nha Vegan, another great place to eat which is also near to home. The food is well presented and very cheap but is only for people who like their veg! I shared mushroom Lalot with Captain Caveman and had fresh spring rolls to myself. The others had mushroom tempura, veggie skewers and veggie noodles. All of it was very tasty and healthy, again.
In the evening Captain Caveman, Josh and I went to Capture Cafe so they could have their favourite pizzas while I had a cheese board (without the bread). I shared a bottle of good red wine with Captain Caveman and to finish the night off we had a Gin and Tea for two at Momma D’s.

By Tuesday 21st January I didn’t bother with any breakfast and tried to get more sleep and rest while an extra day of work was done by Captain Caveman and Josh. For dinner I joined the boys for a rather filling and delicious meal at D’Arts where I had the big bowl of Bun Cha and Captain Caveman had the ultimate Bun Cha. Josh stuck to a vegetarian omelette and we all had a drink. Our, now regular, visit to Momma D’s resulted in me having a whisky sour while Captain Caveman shared the Gin and Tea with a friend plus a whisky sour – Quan, the bartender, does make a great cocktail!

Two weeks ago on Wednesday 22nd January Captain Caveman and I went to Victory Road Villas for breakfast. I was suffering with a cold and so had a green tea and a ginger tea because they are meant to stop a cough and ease a sore throat. I had a pho ga too which is one of my favourites in town as it doesn’t already have chillies in it and the chicken is of good quality. Captain Caveman always enjoys the smoked salmon and scrambled egg there with an espresso. On our way back home we called in at Oxalis Home and we found out that there was a new shuttle bus which was going to be running between Phong Nha and Dong Hoi – really convenient for customers and Phong Nha residents too.
We met Josh for lunch and decided to go to Yummy’s. I’ve not been here for some time and it was good to see the owner back after having her baby as she’s a really good cook. Luckily there was a special on which we took advantage of while Josh just ordered normal menu items. We all agreed the special was very much worth the money and all the dishes were really good – I even enjoyed the tomato and egg soup!!
In the afternoon we rented a motorbike and headed over to Karst Villas to meet friends and possibly see the sunset. Only Josh made it as the others had to work and couldn’t get there so we headed back and decided to have an early curry at Namaste. I couldn’t face any wine due to coughing so I tried a masala chai – why I had not had one before I’m not sure, but it was fantastic! We successfully shared a fish pakoda without incident and I ordered a butter chicken with garlic rice. The boys ordered medium spicy and I forgot to say ‘mild’ so mine was hotter than I could cope with and I only managed half. We didn’t stay out as Captain Caveman was driving so we headed home and had a whisky for a nightcap.

After a week of being back in Vietnam, reunited with Captain Caveman we had a lovely day for Tet Eve eve. On Thursday 23rd January we went for breakfast at Oxalis Home where I had a pho ga, a mango smoothie, ginger tea and a water. Captain Caveman had coffee and a bacon sandwich smothered in mayonnaise. My cough and cold was getting slightly worse and I was tired from not being able to lay down or sleep at night. Because we had the motorbike on hire still we decided to head over to the Phong Nha Farmstay for lunch. We met Ben and Bich, the owners – he was whizzing about on a Segway, she was decorating for Tet. I really wanted the pizza that Captain Caveman snaffled down but I stuck to my nem lui which is grilled pork on a lemongrass skewer eaten in rice paper with green leaves, mango and banana flower – delicious. I had a ginger, lemongrass and honey tea and then a glass of white wine. We got shown around some of the new buildings that were already making great progress and I loved the look of the new villas with their own pools.
We rode back home and dropped the bike off with Thang’s Phong Nha Rider who lives nearby and I had a rest and ate the rest of my cough sweets. In the evening we went to Victory Road Villas to meet Tatas for a cheeky Margarita while it was still happy hour. Captain Caveman and I both had the confit duck leg (one of my favourite gluten free dishes there) and we all shared a bottle of red wine. Back home we had a whisky and water before bed and Captain Caveman updated me on all the times and dates of the various Tet parties we were invited to in the coming week.

I was back in Vietnam on a 3 month tourist visa and I was on my way back to Phong Nha on Friday 17th January. Captain Caveman and I were having breakfast by 6am at the lovely Vinpearl hotel in Dong Hoi. I enjoyed the various fresh fruits and pho with a cup of tea before we had to check out and get our lift to Phong Nha. Captain Caveman was off to work in Son Doong, the largest cave in the world, that day and so we had managed to get a couple of seats on the Oxalis staff bus at 6:30am. We were dropped off at our home, the Glass House, and quickly dropped our bags off before heading over to Ho Khanh’s where the other cavers were having breakfast. Captain Caveman went off with two of his colleagues to the exit of Son Doong to do some work with ropes while I headed home to unpack. We had no WiFi because nobody could remember the password and I still didn’t have a sim card. Luckily I had already arranged to meet a friend at Victory Road Villas for lunch and margaritas and so headed down there after giving bluey (my bicycle) a quick pump up. We got on the cocktails and ate nice food; duck with lentils for me, spaghetti with salami and prawns for her. In the evening we had a lovely curry at Namaste where I had my favourite dish of bhuna murg with garlic rice and it was good to be back.

My second day back in Phong Nha, on Saturday 18th January, was a fairly typical day for me. Captain Caveman and his two colleagues had gone off to work at the exit of Son Doong while I did the washing and tidying. We had some more enquiries for the Fire Opal apartment back in Dalyan and I caught up on some blogging. My cold was still there but now I had developed a cough and I felt ill. I’d brought some gluten free snacks over from Turkey so I had those for brunch along with some rice crackers.
After a beer with the caving contingent at Lucky Lucky we all went to Chao Vietnam for dinner. Captain Caveman and I both had pork dishes which were excellent and we shared the very tasty spring rolls. They also sell (almost) gluten-free beer there too so I had to have a couple of those. After dinner Captain Caveman, Josh and I popped over to Underground and I had a white russian to finish off the night! We cycled home and I noticed that this year the street lights were on all the way to our house.

I’d managed to bring some gluten free cornflakes from Turkey with me to Vietnam so on Sunday, 19th January, we headed over to Ho Khanh’s for breakfast and I took my own. Captain Caveman and his two colleagues were once again off to work in Son Doong again while I took up my lady of leisure duties. At lunch I ate at Oxalis Home where I had a rather tasty chicken and cashew nut dish with steamed rice. My throat and cough was getting worse so I ordered a mango smoothie and a ginger tea. I met a 5 year old child who hates mangos but loves bananas and was from Saigon, on holiday and travelling by car – his English and politeness was fantastic. When my meal came he even said he would let me enjoy my lunch and went back to his parents. When Captain Caveman returned we went to Phong Nha Underground for dinner where I had one of my favourite meals, a smoked pork with green beans and rice. I had 3 cups of ginger tea in an attempt to stop the cough and then we went to Momma D’s for a nightcap.
Captain Caveman loves the Gin and Tea for two there so ordered that but I found it dry on my throat and had a whisky instead, purely for medicinal purposes. Back home Captain Caveman was sound asleep but I was struggling to nod off at all, when I did I was waking up at 2am with the sounds of the cockerel.

Monday 13th January at 5am I was in the wide-awake club! I had booked my taxi a couple of days before with Gürkan and he arrived on time and helped me with my bags. He’s a fast driver so we were at the airport before check-in even opened and I was the first through security. My flight from Dalaman to Istanbul was with Turkish Airlines and cost about £25 including luggage up to 23kg, it boarded quickly, we took off at 8:55am and landed at about 10:30am. I didn’t expect to be able to check in until 2pm at Yotel Landside but thought I would go leave my coat and case at reception. When I arrived the receptionist checked me in, wished me happy birthday for yesterday and said my ‘cabin’ was ready to go to. I was escorted to the room and the guy turned on all the lights which made it look a bit pink! I’d paid around £75 for a basic double room which is pretty expensive but I was so glad I did as everything about my stay was spot on. It had a super comfy bed that had a button to press for altering the position of it, all toiletries were provided and it had loads of TV channels.
After lunch at the hotel restaurant and an afternoon rest I went to get an early dinner. I fancied a glass of wine but it was very expensive so I asked for a glass of the cheapest red. To my astonishment the waiter explained that they had a more expensive wine available at just 3 lira more so I agreed and also ordered a steak with potatoes and salad. I didn’t expect much from an airport restaurant, especially the only one, so was pleasantly surprised by the food, the wine and the staff, despite the high price. After dinner I checked in online so that I only had to put my case in at the bag drop the next day then had an early night in that amazing bed. I was still feeling unwell and really tired so was looking forward to a good sleep before my long journey back to Vietnam. Just as I was getting comfy I had a call from Captain Caveman in Laos, I raved on about my Yotel cabin and said I will see him in Dong Hoi at 8pm on the 15th!

I had a buffet breakfast at the hotel restaurant on Tuesday 14th January and then went back to repack my small suitcase. I’d done well with the luggage as my carry on bag was 4.4kg and my suitcase only 11kg so both well under the allowance. I tried to drop my suitcase off but the Aeroflot bag drop only opens 2 hours before the flight, the same time as the check-in desks meaning there was no point in the online check-in. I checked out of Yotel before noon and waited for the back drop to open at 12.40pm. I noticed that Istanbul airport didn’t have water stations for me to refill my water bottle up and I wasn’t paying the steep prices for a bottle. I only had an hour until the plane boarded after quite a slow queue at passport control and security checks.
There was no booze or entertainment on the flight to Sheremetyevo (Moscow) airport and so I read and finished my book.
We arrived in Moscow early and although I was off the plane relatively quickly the transfer desk had a massive queue and just one man checking passports then just one baggage x-ray machine. It was slow and the terminal for my next flight was a 35 minute walk after that point.
When I finally got to the next gate the flight was boarding and the officials were weighing every piece of handluggage for each person. I stood to one side to catch my breath after rushing and one of the staff lifted the barrier, took my boarding pass and let me push in.
The plane to Hanoi was massive and I had selected my seat wisely – 47C was in only a row of 2, on the aisle and had a bit of space next to it because row 46 had 3 seats in front of our 2. My neighbour was a quiet Vietnamese lady who spoke no English and sat still – result.
I watched Rocketman on the way and was terribly disappointed in it. We got served a couple of meals (which weren’t very good) and an attempt at wine was had. The wine was undrinkable and so resorted to water or coke for the rest of the 9 hours.

I landed in Hanoi at 9am on Wednesday 15th January and, because I had a seat near the back, it took quite a long time to disembark – luckily I was in no rush and was quite happy to avoid the many Vietnamese passengers who were literally scrambling to get luggage out of the overhead bins the quickest (and failing). I got my Vietnam Visa on arrival within half an hour and went to collect my suitcase. By 11am it had not arrived and most people had collected their’s, as I decided to go to report it lost a Russian man shouted to say his had been sitting on a different carousel further down the hall. I went over and there it was – I was relieved because the case was borrowed.
I decided to check out the sleep pods and considered maybe paying for a nap but at 190,575 dong per hour I reckoned I’d be best off going for some food instead. I’d now been awake for 24 hours and had a bit of sea-sickness so I went to the ATM, drew out 2 million dong and then got the shuttlebus over to the domestic terminal. At Hanoi domestic terminal there are a few restaurants accessible before passport control on the 2nd floor and I chose Hai Cang where I ordered pork and rice with a side of sweetcorn and green tea.
I managed to use the self check-in machines for the next flight to Dong Hoi but the bag drop again didn’t open until 2 hours before the flight so I sat and waited. Outside the airport it was really windy, cloudy but very warm for January. I found a cafe where I had a cold green tea drink and they were happy for me to sit and use their WiFi (I no longer had a working SIM card).
Finally at 3.30pm I was able to drop the suitcase off and then head through passport control in search of wine. I found an Australian Chardonnay which tasted so good despite it costing about £7.50 for a large glass (extortionate in Vietnam).
The flight was on one of those small propeller planes and everyone had so much luggage that I couldn’t put my legs under my seat but it was a quick flight and I was waiting for my suitcase again at 7.15pm in Dong Hoi airport. I took a taxi to the Vinpearl hotel (for less than half the cost of the glass of wine) where Captain Caveman was already checked in to our room on the 19th floor. We’ve stayed here before a few times and it didn’t disappoint, the shower was great with lots of free products and I had the satsuma from the fruit plate before going to the restaurant for dinner. Captain Caveman ordered beef carpaccio to start while I went for fresh veggie spring rolls for my starter. They brought me the pork and prawn version instead but they were nice. My main meal was tamarind prawns which were really good.

It was hot and sunny in Dong Hoi on Thursday 16th January, I was full of cold with a streaming eye and jet lag but I was so happy to see Captain Caveman again and even more excited to have the Vietnamese buffet breakfast at the Vinpearl hotel. I had dragon fruit, melon, kiwi fruit and pomelo to start with, orange juice, detox water (who knows?) and earl grey tea. I had the pho ga (chicken rice noodle soup) and the seafood fried rice.
A visit to Dong Hoi is not complete without a trip to Tree Hugger, the wonderful cafe and shop. We had the free herbal tea and we ordered white russians and lunch – Captain Caveman just loves the egg sandwiches while I had a very tasty beef and veg stir-fry with steamed rice. We sat upstairs on the balcony where one couple had brought their laptop to watch loud TV on without headphones, one of my pet hates. They left, we ordered another cocktail and then another couple had a photo shoot with the girl posing against the wall with cosmetic products in her hands. Back at the hotel we had a quick wander round Mini Good, a Korean shop, where Captain Caveman bought a few bits. In the evening we went to another one of our favourite places to eat, 7th Heaven. We ordered the Australian beef steaks and a bottle of red but when it came it was really fatty and chewy, not easy to cut. When we told the waitress she explained they had used a different supplier for the meat we had but they had some of the usual supplier left and were able to cook us another steak – this was up to the usual standard and we enjoyed that one. Back at the hotel we packed and had an early night ready for a very early start the next day – we were heading to Phong Nha!

My last weekend in Dalyan started on Friday 10th January with a walk with Milo, Maddie’s cute cockapoo, followed by a make do breakfast to eat up what I had in. For lunch I had gluten free pasta with bacon, pesto and parmesan then I went for my last hairdresser’s appointment with Emrah, until April. I was sniffling with a cold and my eyes kept watering so I wasn’t really feeling it and didn’t go for curls this time. Emrah still made me feel good and look a lot better than I did when I walked in and so I tootled round to Lukka for some dinner of a bacon cheeseburger (no bun) and wedges and a drink of cherry juice – another alcohol free day! I finished the day with Milo walks, playing with the pooch and Netflix. I had received the photos of the apartment from Greg (see below) and he had been able to send them on to the estate agent to update the website – they looked good and the bathrooms were at last captured so that potential customers could see them more clearly.

I woke up still feeling ill on Saturday 11th January, which was a bit of a shame given it was my birthday. Milo and I had a little walk before coming back for a flu remedy and some gluten free breakfast for me and some fresh biscuits and a treat for the pooch. I caught up with a bit of blogging, watched the last of Atypical on Netflix and packed my bag ready for being back to Fire Opal that evening.
We had another longer walk before I headed over to my place to get ready to enjoy my birthday. I don’t cope well with the ingredients of the Tylol cold remedy and so my heart was already at twice the speed it should be by the time Sarah arrived. I still had the wine I’d bought myself from Serendip at around £25 per bottle and so we opened that and had some gluten free bread sticks with it. The wine was amazing!
Because there were a few mates who lived a bit out of the town centre it worked out easier to meet at Lukka bar for a birthday beverage during the day so we headed there. The sun was out and so too was almost everyone I knew in Dalyan at that point in time. I bought Sarah and I a bottle of prosecco and Kaye bought me a rather large (premium) whisky to ‘kill or cure’ my cold. I felt pretty drunk already and the Tylol was having, what I can only imagine was, a bit of an amphetamine-like reaction.
I moved from table to table saying hello and cheers with everyone, including those who probably had no idea it was mine and Sarah’s birthday booze-up and my farewell drinks – I took loads of photos (some were so blurry I had to delete later but a few came out rather well).
Sarah had booked a table for the sit-down birthday meal at Rendezvous, where they serve my favourite meal. I was well on my merry way by this time and had a great time at Rendezvous where the owner and his staff really looked after us – so much so that they joined our party of 4 (probably feeling sorry for us) as we headed to Mustang Bar where we had organised birthday drinks with pretty much everyone in Dalyan who could come.
Of course it got messy as I danced and rapped my way through the night and I bought all the girls a rose from Ismail, the flower man, and even made him stay for a dance. Katrina arrived and brought me a really lovely gift – she had made me a glittery wine glass with ‘Jaqueline de Plonk’ on it. Maddie and Bianca were back from Istanbul and joined us as well as a few others and we had a good laugh (mainly at me dancing).
We were meant to go back to Lukka bar for last orders but for some reason we went straight to Sky Lounge. In there I got stung for the priciest cocktails on the menu and didn’t end up getting home until stupid o’clock.

On Sunday 12th January I was quite hungover and the cold was worse! In my wisdom when I had got in from celebrating birthdays I had decided to empty all of the kitchen cupboards so that I didn’t forget to do them. I also had to check with Mehmet at Lukka bar to see what time I had said I was having Sunday dinner (my last one for quite some time).
At 4pm I went round to Lukka with various bags to return or give away to people before I left. Sarah got Bacardi, prawns and sugar, Maddie olive oil, Katrina flour and olives, Leanne her coat, wig, feather boa and some snacks for her kid, Andy a beer. When I arrived at Lukka a lot of the familiar faces were there to laugh at the sorry state I was in. I ordered orange juice then went to pick up some earrings I had ordered for Tatas, in Vietnam, the same stone as my ring and Amanda’s earrings. On my way I popped in to Mustang to pick up the cake plate, Sarah’s glittery glass and to thank them for the night. It was a bit worrying that I got applause from the staff when I went in! I walked back to the bar after returning the plate and it’s surprising how many people offer you wine when you are walking down the street with an empty glass!
Back at Lukka I forced the roast beef dinner down me (with my own gluten free gravy) and an orange juice then a coke. Katrina did me my last gluten free apple crumble which was delicious and then it was time to say goodbye to everyone, which was sad!
I ran a few errands, went to the bank and then back home to start packing. Vanessa popped over (as is our leaving Dalyan tradition) and we had a cup of black tea and a good natter. I also managed to give Vanessa the last of what was left in the fridge and a few bits from the cupboard.
All that was left to do was store all of the stuff away in the lockable cupboards and pack for my journey to Vietnam. It was gone midnight when I got to bed and my alarm was set for 5am the next morning!

The first full week of January started on Monday 6th looking slightly stormy out so I stayed in, had gluten free cornflakes for breakfast and then set about some important tasks. I had less than a week until I left Dalyan and headed back to Vietnam so I applied for my Vietnamese 3 month tourist visa, booked a flight to Istanbul and chatted to my parents over the phone. They were due to go on holiday the next day and they also agreed that it would be wise to have a night in Istanbul rather than chance missing my connecting flight which would be 3 hours after I landed at the new airport. Some flights recently had been cancelled or delayed and I didn’t want to take that risk of missing my next one especially as I still needed to collect baggage and then recheck it in – I didn’t chance it and booked the Yotel airport hotel.
I was also meant to be having a week in Hanoi and more Vietnamese lessons but decided it would be better to get to Phong Nha earlier due to Tet holidays approaching. I decided to book a flight from Hanoi to Dong Hoi, the same day as I arrived and then I would meet Captain Caveman there. He booked the Vinpearl hotel in Dong Hoi for 2 nights before we headed to Phong Nha for him to go back to work.
I tidied the apartment and took some photos in readiness for the Aussies doing some more professional ones while they were here.
By lunchtime it was raining and I had some gluten free toast with cheese on before heading over to meet the Aussies for an afternoon at BC Spa. I had a swim, a sauna and a steam room before having my usual back massage. Khatuna said I still needed more work and there were some really sore bits but I didn’t know if I would be able to fit any more in before I left, but I hoped so.
In the evening Sarah and I had arranged to meet for one drink at Jiks and then head to Rendezvous before 8pm for dinner where the Aussies would join us. After waiting awhile we ordered as we were hungry and we were almost finished eating by the time the other two joined us but they had already eaten at home anyway. This time we were allowed the dog, Yaps, in the restaurant who sat quietly under the table. I had my favourite crispy belly pork dish after a mushroom starter and we shared a bottle of white wine. Sarah and I finished the night off with a wine at Sky Lounge where we were happy to see the price was only 20 or 22 lira. However when we got the bill they tried to charge us 30 lira per glass and said the menu was old, we were having none of it and said we were paying the old menu prices and stood our ground.

It was the Aussies last day in Dalyan on Tuesday 7th January and they were on a mission to finish all the stuff required in their Fire Opal apartment, to get it ready for renting out in 2020, before the next leg of their Turkey trip. They also had ordered a new IKEA sofa which was still to arrive and be put together as well as scheduling in the retaking of the photos for both their apartment and ours. Unfortunately the link to our apartment on the estate agent’s website has a picture of a chest of drawers on as the first photo of a video and because we had changed all the furniture I needed it replacing. The idea was to take some better, up-to-date photos to send to the agent so they could replace that video and update their website with a true reflection of the place. I was waiting for the cleaners and the electrician to come and then I had an appointment with Maddie who was running through some dog and house-sitting rules as I was moving over there for a few days to look after Milo, the cute cockapoo. All was ready for the next day and Milo was happy to see me and I could tell we would get on well. Maddie, her family and I went for brunch at Heybe’s (I had a very nice bacon, beans and mushrooms) and then I went home to see how the B1 occupants were getting on. The sofa had just arrived and they had also ordered/bought lots of fresh breakfast produce to take their photos with. I got back to mine to find the electrician couldn’t make it, the cleaners had been but the floor was still soaking wet and I didn’t want to walk on it for a while so found more things I needed from IKEA for Sarah to get me the next day. I had chestnuts for lunch with an earl grey tea before the Aussies came over to take photos of every room, for the website.
In the evening I left them erecting their sofa bed and taking their own photos while I met Sarah at Jiks for dinner and I had a chicken salad (with chips) which was excellent. It wasn’t a late night as tomorrow would be an early start.

Our choice of breakfast place on Wednesday 8th January was closed, we were a little early and on a tight deadline to get back for the airport pick up so we went to Jiks. The Aussies had Turkish style breakfasts while I had bacon, beans and mushrooms with orange juice and a tea.
The day had come to say bye to my Aussie friends and now our new neighbours at Fire Opal. They were off for another visit to Cappadocia while I moved in to a friend’s for a spot of dogsitting and birthday planning. The Aussies gave me an amazing birthday gift before they left and I got emotional, it was a silver ring with a zultanite stone – it changes colour depending on the light.
The sun was shining and it was a lovely day for dog walking – Milo was super excited to go out and although I had to leave him while I went home to supervise the electrician changing the light (which was super quick) we pretty much bonded the first day.
In the evening Milo and I stayed in and had my first takeaway delivery from China Town with a bit of red wine I had left over from the photo shoot. I’d also started to feel a bit sickly and tired so I was glad of a bit of Netflix and sleep.

I woke up in Maddie’s bed (while she was in Istanbul) with Milo looking at me on the morning of Thursday 9th January. I let him out for a pee and he came straight back to bed as it was still early and we had a cuddle to keep warm – it was pretty cold in the mornings in Dalyan but the forecast for the rest of the week was still sunny.
I went over to Sarah’s to collect my IKEA stuff and then we went over to Jiks for brunch, she had a full English breakfast and I had the chicken salad with chips. I walked Milo and then settled down for a bit of Netflix and some snacks, with leftover China Town curry for dinner. It was a relaxing day in readiness for my last weekend in Dalyan, it also happened to be mine and Sarah’s birthdays which we had planned to celebrate!

On Friday 3rd January I had agreed to do a one-off comedy night at Lukka bar as Jaqueline De Plonk and there was a select few booked in to watch. I had written down a few pointers as well as a few funny stories a little on the rude side. I’d also prepared 3 songs for the beginning, middle and end of my set and requested that cherry juice be poured in to an empty red wine bottle so that I could pretend to be drunk throughout the set.
I had borrowed a wig, a trench coat and a feather boa for the act but unfortunately the wig wouldn’t stay on and the rest of it was off by the end of the night. It was a good first experience and people did laugh – only 3 people didn’t come back after the interval! I was tipsy as the cherry juice prop had not materialised and instead I had drank red wine so a few of us went to Sky lounge afterwards.

On Saturday 4th January I felt a little hungry when I woke up and so I headed to Lukka bar for my breakfast which sorted me out. For lunch I had homemade chicken soup at home and had some floral gums while watching Netflix and doing a bit of blogging. Jamie and Graeme were off for a meal and so Sarah and I had decided to have a date night of our own and had also asked the Aussies to join us. The place we chose wasn’t open so we ended up at Kordon, one of my favourites for gluten free food. Amanda wasn’t impressed as she really hates the look and smell of fish and there was a counter displaying an assortment of fresh fish. She didn’t eat because they had already eaten at home but then Greg decided to just have a starter – of calamari!
I had the steak and a side of beetroot and thoroughly enjoyed it but I decided not to drink which meant I’d had 2 alcohol free days in January so far!

Serendip, a local vegetarian restaurant, was having a closing/moving sale at mid-day on Sunday 5th January so Sarah and I decided to pop along to see if we fancied anything. I bought 3 bottles of discounted but decent red wine and was about to go home to do some chores but Sarah didn’t want to go home yet and wanted to get some soup. We ended up at Le Cafe (another new place for me) for brunch where I had fruit salad and yogurt and her the chicken soup. It was a little pricey but the earl grey tea was large and the inside of the cafe was really nice. Later I joined Jamie, Graeme and Sarah for Sunday lunch as it was their last one as they were off back home on Monday. I ended up drinking a bottle of red to myself too and even took my own gluten free stuffing and gravy!
I said my goodbyes to Jamie and Graeme that night and we arranged to see each other again in Dalyan on the 29th April.

My 2020 started in Lukka bar, Dalyan, enjoying the night a bit too much which meant I didn’t leave the house on Wednesday 1st January due to being hungover and having been accidentally glutened.
While I was feeling sick as a dog Captain Caveman was off on his journey to find new caves in Laos and the Aussies were downstairs building furniture and updating their new pad.
I forced myself to have roast potatoes with gluten free gravy for lunch but felt too ill to eat much. I tried to drink as much water as possible too. By the evening I was peckish and so I had gluten free pasta with bolognese and some walnuts, a gluten free chocolate biscuit and a babybel cheese. I didn’t have any alcohol until Thursday 2nd January and you probably already predicted I wouldn’t be a dry January participant.

The Aussies had already found a new place for breakfast which I didn’t realise was open so we all headed to Köşem where the Turkish breakfast looked good and I had my usual English version. While they had appointments I did a bit of shopping and had a drink in Jiks with Sarah, Jamie and Graeme before meeting back up for dinner. We had decided to try Serendip but it was closed so we settled on Heybe instead. I had a prawn starter and a chicken shish which was very nice and washed it down with a wine or two.
I had a relatively early night though as I needed to be prepared for my debut comedy night on Friday as Jaqueline de Plonk.

I was very happy on Tuesday 31st December, the last day of the year, for various reasons; I had had a great night’s sleep in our new bed and it had passed the test, the sun was shining, we were getting more enquiries to book Fire Opal for 2020, I had an appointment for my hair doing, I got to speak to Captain Caveman and I had entered the Volkan Adventures raffle of which the draw was at 4pm.
But first of all my Facebook feed was going mad with friends posting their 10 years difference photos so I was also curious. Apart from being a bit fatter and looking a bit older mine could have been taken a lot closer together. Both were taken with Aviva friends and it also reminded me that today was my official date of leaving Aviva 5 years ago – time really has flown by!

My brunch consisted of cheese, dates, walnuts and olives before heading off to be fussed over by Emrah who was doing something new to my hair today. I had requested a 1920s up do in readiness for the Gangsters and Molls new year’s eve party at Lukka bar. A lot of my mates were going to other venues but given I can have a drink right on the doorstep and the owners have become great friends I chose to go there.
After having my hair backcombed and pinned to a style I worried I’d never get out I tootled over to Lukka to meet Sarah for an afternoon drink and to wait to hear the raffle results from Volkan’s Adventures.

The raffle was broadcast live on Facebook but I didn’t catch mine and so I went home to listen while getting ready for the evening. I was really pleased that we had won a boat trip for 2 people on their Beyond 12 Islands and a £40 voucher! It’s also valid for 2 years, not that we will need to wait that long.

(https://www.facebook.com/volkansadventures/)

The Aussies were on their way back from their Izmir and Ephesus trip and had agreed to meet me and Arif at Lukka once they were ready. I had agreed to look after Yaps, Sarah’s dog, as she, Jamie and Graeme left to go to the Casa Nova party. I started on the prosecco and waited for the Aussies and they eventually arrived looking gorgeous in their outfits – Arif and I were already drinking and I had gone past the eating dinner stage by then but settled on some BBQ chicken wings.

By the time midnight came around I was on the very large rhubarb and ginger gins and someone had given me a party blower that I wasn’t being annoying with, at all! As the countdown began Mehmet, the owner, gave me the microphone to do the countdown while he set off the fireworks! After that it was chaos as I went round everyone wishing them a ‘happy new year’ (taking selfies) and I didn’t even have an emergency sausage roll about me to prevent the New Year’s Eve snogs!!!

The weekend between Christmas and New Year was a good mix of emotions; Captain Caveman was leaving to go back to Vietnam and then a cave expedition in Laos, I was going to spend more time with the friends who’d arrived for their winter break and of course I would be planning my 2020! On Friday 27th December I had chicken, cheese and orange juice for breakfast and I helped Captain Caveman clingfilm 2 bicycles (a first time for me and will probably be my last) and pack his stuff. This year he was packing all his stuff in the cupboard above the stairs which required a ladder so that I didn’t have to, which was much more convenient for me. By lunchtime we were opening the prosecco and having a cheeky bucks fizz before heading over to Lukka bar to meet Jamie, Graeme and Sarah. Normally Captain Caveman and I don’t do Christmas presents and so I was really surprised when Jamie had brought over a massive tub of floral gums as my Christmas present from Captain Caveman. Jamie also got me some presents and were wrapped up – gluten free chocolate biscuits, gravy and stuffing. Sarah presented her pompom rug and (thankfully) it went down extremely well! We celebrated with a bottle of prosecco and Tiny Dancer cuddles while eating lunch. Jamie had offered to drive Captain Caveman to the airport but we decided it would be easier to have a taxi and then we could all have a drink – which we did! Our Aussie friends joined us and we even ventured to Mustang bar for more booze, but came back to Lukka for dinner and to see Captain Caveman off. We finished the night with a couple of gins and I gave the Aussies our IKEA order as they were off to Izmir the next day.

On Saturday (28th December) it was odd waking up without Captain Caveman, I had gluten free toast with butter and an orange juice for breakfast and started selling more stuff online, including drawers for the Aussies. They were throwing a load of towels and blankets out so I took them for the dog shelter. For lunch I made myself a roast dinner with my gluten free gravy and I collected our new cushions and table cloth from DLBS. I also started the first lot of dying of our beige and pale blue throws. The first lot I dyed to navy blue and it turned out rather well so on Sunday (29th December) I did a couple more, this time to a burgundy colour.

I met Jamie, Graeme and Sarah for a Lukka Sunday lunch (I even took my own gravy) and in the evening Jamie invited us all to his villa for a cheese night. He had brought over about 10 different cheeses and it was a great evening. Sarah and I left their villa (https://www.facebook.com/villaedmandalyan/) and walked home in the rain having had a lovely weekend.

The end of the year, and decade, was approaching and on Monday 30th December I had a quiet day in readiness for the onslaught of what would be a messy new year’s eve (I didn’t know it at the time)!
I had my gluten free cornflakes for breakfast, our new double bed arrived (earlier than expected) and the men popped it together in no time and we got a free fitted sheet and pillow cases with it. I managed to put the clingfilmed bicycles in the under bed storage without too much difficulty and then had a lay on the new bed to test it out. For lunch I ate the remaining mushroom risotto from the freezer, I helped myself to a lamp which was being thrown out by the Aussies and sold all of ours and their drawers to make way for the new purchases.
In the afternoon I visited my good friend Vanessa for a cup of tea and a natter, I also borrowed a suitcase as I would be leaving for Vietnam in a couple of week’s time.
In the evening I watched a bit of Atypical on Netflix, which made a nice change.

I had left over chicken and an orange juice, but made Captain Caveman a bubble and squeak type of dish, for breakfast on Thursday 26th December before we got ready for our boxing day boat trip. We had booked it a while ago when Sarah had said she would be going on the Captain Boris boat and so we had decided to book it too. Our Aussie friends also wanted to come but this was the day they had to meet the estate agents and do all the formalities of buying their new apartment on the same complex as us. They were about to officially become our Dalyan neighbours and were buying a lovely 1 bedroom ground floor apartment, with a great poolside terrace, at Fire Opal. (Photo by the new owner below)

The boat trip started with tea/coffee and biscuits, (gluten free ones for me which were a bit like licking sand but I was grateful to see they had tried) while we sailed off on a short journey across the river. We docked and were given the chance to have a walk up and around the ruins of Kaunos which we were both up for, especially given Sarah had with her the unfinished pompom rug and was staying behind to finish it. Jamie and Graeme were arriving later so it had to be done. The boxing day walk was lovely – me and a lady called Andrea even had to stop for a pee in a school in Çandır village. The boat picked us all up at Çandır next to some very accessible tombs (if we had been wearing the right footwear) and it was very picturesque. We got back on the boat to find Sarah had completed the rug and was also on the gin!

We sailed to the beach and while the crew got ready for a massive lunch the captain, Sarah, Andrea and Grace all decided to have a swim in the sea. Captain Boris asked me to record it and make an appeal for anyone watching to donate £5 to a charity of their choice because it was very cold, although sunny. After much hilarity and Captain Caveman wishing he’d gone for a swim instead of just a paddle we said we would do it next year! The food was excellent and all but the couscous was gluten free and so I had 2 platefuls and Captain Caveman had 3! It was delicious and probably the best chips I’ve had in Dalyan. There was chicken, meatballs, casserole, salads, potatoes, cabbage, aubergine, yogurt dips and chips served with Tılsım red wine.

It was a great day out and we went to Lukka bar for a drink afterwards and then to meet our Aussie friends at Fire Opal. We ended up eating at Backyard No9 where everyone had pizza and I had a burger without bread which was very tasty. Sarah joined us a bit later and a tad tipsy as she was excited that Jamie and Graeme were on their way to Dalyan.
We all went back to Lukka bar to wait for them but the Aussies and Captain Caveman were almost asleep and went home about 10.30pm. Sarah and I managed to welcome them but were also flagging and I just had the one drink with them before heading back home to bed.
Friday was going to be a busy day and it was time to say farewell to Captain Caveman!

Our Christmas day fell on a Wednesday so it was a day for dogging, we got up early had bacon sandwiches and walked up to the shelter where we walked as many dogs as we could in the time we had. Hilary asked me to walk a small dog called Sandy who had been hiding since he got there and had never been taken out – he was shy, nervous and extremely cute but we had to carry him out to get him to start walking. He shared his enclosure with the Spice Girls (Emma, Mel and Vicky) and after a short walk he was so keen to get back inside – most of the dogs are not excited to go back in unless there is food! Captain Caveman took photos of the dogs too and we had some really nice weather. We were in a bit of a rush for the afternoon events and, as you may expect, things did not go according to plan.
We walked back home, showered and then headed out to buy the rest of our Christmas dinner before meeting friends for a drink, which we were already late to.
Captain Caveman had done quite a lot of prep already and so my job was to buy a chicken to cook and prepare the chestnuts. When I got to the butcher’s they only had the big chickens left and so we ended up with a massive one for 52 lira (they are normally 20 lira). We put the chicken in and headed to meet the gang at Rock Bar for a couple of cheeky drinks and to wish them well for their Christmas. The sun was shining and it was nice sitting out with a cold drink.
Back home we decided that we would have the baked brie as a starter, Captain Caveman basted the chicken and we headed over to Lukka for a cheeky glass of wine. Lots of people were there enjoying a Christmas dinner or drinks and the sun was shining. Unfortunately a dog fight broke out between Nips and a rival dog and nobody could stop it – a workman in a truck, 2 shop owners and the bar man all tried and still the dogs would not stop! People eating dinner weren’t impressed and I sent someone to pull the dogs apart but unfortunately they got bit and came back to the bar bleeding badly. Luckily Captain Caveman had some Newskin at home and I went to get it while the bar owner, Mehmet, poured his best vodka on to the wound. I did well to manage to not faint at the blood and went to get a photo of the dog to report it to the shelter people so they could collect Nips and get him neutered.
Back home I cooked the prawns as another starter and popped the chestnuts and red cabbage on. Captain Caveman had done us a gluten free alternative to pigs in blankets which were dates stuffed with cheese and wrapped in American style bacon, which turned out to be the highlight of the day!
I enjoyed the Christmas dinner and the chicken was so tasty that I had to have more.
Our Aussie friends were arriving about 11pm but we were already done in, even though I’d only had one glass of wine with my Christmas meal and we never did open the prosecco which Captain Caveman had purchased for us. We let them know we would see them the next day and went to bed early leaving them to check in to Dalyance hotel.

Tuesday 24th December, or Christmas Eve to many of you, started with a bacon and mushroom gluten free sandwich and an earl grey tea at home. Captain Caveman was still on a mission to finish as many jobs as possible and had also started to pile up all his belongings on the floor in the spare room, ready for packing or storing – he still had to dismantle two bicycles ready to be stored under the new bed, once it arrived in January. We were also meant to be joining some Dalyan Dwellers on the sunshine bus for an afternoon on the beach but everyone was watching the weather to see if we would take Plan B instead.
While other buses went ahead as planned our one decided to cancel and head to the local boozer instead. At 1pm we downed tools, grabbed some snacks and headed to Lukka bar where I had a cheeky cider and Captain Caveman had an Efes Malt. Maddie had to work at Dalyance at 3pm so we all decided to go with her and I had wine and we decided to order food. On first glance the lunch menu at Dalyance is certainly a gluten free person’s nemesis but the staff and chef get the requests easily and can adapt the dishes. I had an amazing steak wrap (without the wrap) and chips which basically came as a huge pile of steak strips, onion, peppers, salad and sweetcorn and it was really tasty. After Dalyance, four of us went to River House for dinner where I had garlic mushrooms and chicken risotto with wine, the others had lamb dishes which looked impressive.
To finish off our evening we had one more drink in Mustang bar (I had the obligatory Bailey’s and some crisps). Sarah was really enjoying herself and so we left her there talking to some friends and trying to stop a small dog from being ‘raped’ by the huge lion-faced dog who was persistent with her.
It was a good day but I was tired and we had to be up early on Christmas day!